Chapter 190: Gao Yang = Little Golden Fur

"Can you speak properly now?" Chen Yan still kept his composure, and his hand movement paused.

If Gao Yang is willing to say a soft word, he'll let her off the hook today.

At that moment Gao Yang looked as if she had just emerged from water—her forehead, neck, whole body drenched in sweat, panting heavily in large gulps.

Hearing Chen Yan's words, she closed her eyes and nodded laboriously.

There's no way, being tickled is unbearably painful; for her it's sheer torment.

If Chen Yan didn't tickle her but hit her instead, she would rather die than submit.

Of course, Gao Yang also knows that Chen Yan is unwilling to strike too hard.

"Alright, after this period I think we need to have a proper talk again," Chen Yan, who had taken several losses before, this time did not let go, still pressing her.

"Usually we can fight, we can make a fuss; any way is fine."

"But since a problem has arisen, if we want to continue living well, we must solve it. What do you think?"

Gao Yang, hearing that, stopped writhing, her breath caught, and she gave a nasal "hm".

"Alright, since you agree, let's have a proper talk then." Chen Yan organized his words and slowly began: "Um... first, it's true that we are married, a normal couple."

"But your temperament differs from most women of this era; you're very independent, have your own ideas. Even after being taught by Empress Changsun, I don't think you'd be someone eager to have a child."

"So, can you first tell me why you're so eager to have a child?"

Gao Yang suddenly fell silent.

What else could being eager to have a child be for?

She wants Chen Yan to pay her more attention, more care, so that when Li Lizhi marries in later, she can occupy the most important place in Chen Yan's heart.

However, this motive is too purposeful, and she dares not tell Chen Yan.

This is also one of the reasons she gets so angry when she realizes she's doing futile work.

"Tsk tsk, seems you don't intend to speak?" Chen Yan said lightly, extending a finger and gently sliding it down Gao Yang's forearm.

Gao Yang shivered all over, "I say, I say, don't tickle."

"That's right." Chen Yan's mouth twitched slightly upward, with a barely noticeable cheer, "Then... speak, why are you so eager to have a child."

Gao Yang was silent for a moment, opened her mouth, but said nothing.

Until she felt Chen Yan's finger about to slide into her hollow, she panicked, "I... I just want you to care more about me, spend more time with me, I'm afraid..."

Speaking, she suddenly stopped, closed her mouth and said nothing.

Chen Yan was startled, a soft light flickered in his eyes.

Even if Gao Yang didn't speak, he could guess the rest.

Gao Yang merely fears that after Li Lizhi marries in, she will ignore her and give her whole heart to Li Lizhi.

Perhaps there's also a little scheming in this process.

But that no longer matters.

Perhaps Gao Yang's purpose is strong, but she only wants to receive a bit more of his care.

For some reason, Chen Yan suddenly recalled the Little Golden Fur he bought in college because he worried his grandfather would be lonely.

He remembered his grandfather telling him that a few days before his holiday return home, the Little Golden Fur would visibly become happy, then silently lie by the door each day waiting for him.

Then, as soon as he got home, the Little Golden Fur would leap into his arms, shaking its golden fur and frolicking with him.

In a sense, Gao Yang is a lot like that Little Golden Fur.

For example, once he leaves and returns, he will immediately be met with Gao Yang's mocking voice.

"......"

"We eat and sleep together, how else can I pay attention to you?" Chen Yan teased.

"How about I find a rope to tie the two of us together?"

Gao Yang took a deep breath, speaking as if facing death, "That's different."

"What if later Li Lizhi marries in and you change your heart?"

Chen Yan raised an eyebrow, "Regarding that, I don't want to give any explanation or promise."

"Based on my understanding of you, I think no matter how I explain, you'll find reasons to refute me; even if I make a promise, you still won't believe it."

"Because you appear strong, daring to confront Li Lizhi before me and even the Emperor, yet actually, when you face her, you're very insecure."

Gao Yang, upon hearing that, instantly got angry, "You're talking nonsense."

"On what basis am I insecure?"

"I am the one who was betrothed to you first, I am the first wife you officially married, I am the one originally destined to grow old together with you."

"And Li Lizhi is just a third party who slipped in halfway, using despicable means to soften your heart."

"On what basis am I insecure?"

"Ah! Speak up, on what basis am I insecure?!"

Facing Gao Yang's increasingly rapid words, which even turned into a roar, Chen Yan's expression remained unchanged as he slowly uttered three words.

"You're getting impatient."

"I..." Gao Yang was about to retort, but Chen Yan spoke first: "Did I say something wrong?"

"Aren't you the one who's insecure?"

"Li Lizhi's status is higher than yours; she is the legitimate daughter of Empress Changsun, Crown Prince Li Chengqian's full sister, and her appearance is even more outstanding than yours."

"You're afraid!"

"What you're afraid of is that, for the reasons mentioned above, after Li Lizhi marries me, I will neglect you."

"Hehe, say whatever you like." Gao Yang stopped rebutting, having decided in her heart that even if Chen Yan tickled her to death today, she wouldn't admit it.

Chen Yan let out a soft sigh, released her, then took the handkerchief beside the pillow and gently wiped the sweat from her forehead, his tone unusually gentle:

"Zhao Tang, your attitude has already explained everything."

I understand your thinking, but as I said, I cannot give you any explanation or guarantee; it's not that I'm unwilling, it's that you wouldn't believe me.

You are too lacking in security, so you are eager to have a child to solidify our relationship.

If this can ease your mind a bit, I am willing to fulfill your idea.

However, before that, you have to think it through yourself.

Are you truly ready to have a child?

Are you truly ready to be a mother?

Do you know how to become a good mother?

Do you know how much suffering childbirth entails, how many sins you will incur, how dangerous the circumstances can be?

Zhao Tang, can you answer me?

"I can..." Gao Yang thought she was steadfast, so at first she wanted to say "I can".

However, somehow she suddenly fell silent.

In her mind, Chen Yan's question "Are you truly ready to be a mother?" involuntarily resurfaced.

At that moment, she was suddenly bewildered.

Gao Yang was not afraid of the risks of childbirth, but it seemed she truly hadn't prepared to be a mother.

"......"