Chapter 260: Driving the Sheep

Night fell, and the Imperial Garden was brightly lit.

The group sat around a round table, and the palace maids placed dish after dish on it.

Li Shimin at some point produced a glass bottle, gently shaking the liquid inside, and said to the Chen Yan beside him, "Zi An, shall we have water from the Yellow River fall from the sky today?"

The remark made everyone laugh instantly, especially Xiao Sizi, who was overjoyed.

She still hasn't forgotten that line of poetry.

Chen Yan looked at the bottle, swallowed, and politely declined, "No, His Majesty, I've been feeling unwell lately, and I have to go home later, so I won't drink."

"Feeling unwell?" a few were startled, and Li Lizhi and Gao Yang looked slightly worried.

Empress Changsun asked concernedly, "Where does it hurt? Should we call the Crown… have you examined yourself?"

"Ahem, that's not necessary," Chen Yan cleared his throat, "Men have those days every month, no need to worry."

???

Li Chengqian said speechlessly, "Zi Anxiong, are you sure you said 'men' and not 'women'?"

"Fine, stop wasting words on him," Li Shimin waved his hand, "Servants, bring the big bowl."

Chen Yan's face turned green.

Still bring a big bowl?

What if I actually get drunk?

Then I'll call you Li Er; you mustn't get angry.

Chen Yan quickly gave Gao Yang a pleading look; he isn't good at drinking, and with many secrets he really doesn't want to drink.

But Gao Yang merely lifted his eyes lightly and then ignored Chen Yan.

Tang Dynasty men all love wine, and each one's capacity surpasses the next.

As a man, how can one get by without drinking?

Moreover, Gao Yang already thought Chen Yan's drinking capacity was poor and wanted him to practice, so he simply didn't want to engage.

Seeing Gao Yang ignore him, Chen Yan turned his pleading gaze to Empress Changsun, Li Lizhi, and finally even the Crown Princess.

In the end, none of them paid him any attention.

"Zi Anxiong, you're not scared, are you?" Li Chengqian laughed heartily.

"Tsk tsk, youngster, how odd. I once threatened to annihilate your nine clans and you weren't scared, yet at the mention of a big bowl you are," Li Shimin said with a clicking tongue, marveling.

"Who's scared?" Chen Yan, seeing no escape, gave up, stretched his neck and said, "I'm a seven‑foot man; would I be scared?"

"I've grown this tall and still don't know how to write the character 'fear'."

"Oh?" Li Shimin raised an eyebrow, "Wushe, quickly get a larger bowl for the County Magistrate."

Chen Yan: "......"

"Yes, Your Majesty!" Wushe forced a laugh.

"No, no, no." Seeing Wushe about to change his own bowl, Chen Yan hurriedly stopped, "That's not allowed; His Majesty and Her Majesty are here, and I'm a junior—how could my bowl be bigger than yours?"

"No, no, that's against the rules."

"Ahem." Chen Yan forced a smile, "To show respect to Your Majesty, just give me a smaller one."

"Hahahaahaha." Li Shimin and his son burst into laughter.

"Zi Anxiong, you're scared!"

"Kid, how can a seven‑foot man lie? If you're scared, admit it; we Tang Dynasty men have nothing wrong with admitting it."

Chen Yan said with a bitter face, "Even a good Tang man needs dignity."

The others instantly wore contemptuous looks.

Chen Yan needs a face?

This was the funniest joke they'd heard all year.

Helplessly, in the end Chen Yan couldn't escape; the big bowl was filled.

Li Shimin and his son took a huge gulp, causing Chen Yan's mouth to twitch, forcing him to follow suit.

"This is comfortable, it has vigor," Li Shimin said with a relaxed expression.

Afterwards, everyone ate, drank, chatted, teased the two children, and the atmosphere was wonderfully lively.

Chen Yan saw the bowl he had barely finished being refilled, grimaced, realizing the day would not go well.

"Zi An," Li Shimin suddenly said.

"Hey, I'm here, Yue Yue Fu Fu." Chen Yan, full of resentment.

Li Shimin: "......"

He was too lazy to chat with Chen Yan, pointing a finger at him, "You kid, you actually have a bit of talent for being a County Magistrate. Though I know you've hardly ever overseen Xianlya, the lives of the people in Weinan County have improved, that's a fact."

"My original choice was not wrong."

At this point Li Shimin sighed lightly, "If the County Magistrates of other counties were like you, that would be great."

Li Chengqian and Empress Changsun nodded in agreement.

The words are correct, but it's unrealistic.

It's like the court having a corrupt official like Zhang Wenbo, as well as good officials like Fang and Du.

People like Fang and Du are few, unable to make everyone alike, and Chen Yan is the same.

Chen Yan rolled his eyes, glanced at Li Lizhi, then at the worried Li Shimin, and a thought surfaced.

"Your Majesty, when you say that, you simply think other County Magistrates aren't doing well and hope they could, like me, put the people first, fulfill the duties of a local father‑official, right?"

Li Shimin nodded, "That's about right; the past few years have been too hard, with natural disasters and constant turmoil, the people have suffered a lot under me."

"I don't actually expect every County Magistrate to be exactly like you, constantly thinking of the people. As long as they don't embezzle, don't be lazy, don't abuse their position, fulfill their duties, manage the populace well, and meet basic requirements, I'll be satisfied."

"Unfortunately… even that many people can't manage."

"His Majesty, if I say I have a way to change this current situation?" Chen Yan said tentatively.

The people present, upon hearing, all turned their gazes to him at once, their faces showing anticipation.

"Hmm?" Li Shimin's eyes also lit up, and he immediately said, "Then I permit you to change to a smaller bowl!"

Chen Yan: "......"

Goddamn, you actually allowed me to change to a smaller bowl.

You always want to freeload, don't you?

Seeing Chen Yan's face visibly darken, not only Li Shimin but even Empress Changsun was amused.

Comforting, he said: "Zi An, His Majesty is joking."

"What you're thinking, His Majesty knows it very well; rest assured, it's only about this short period."

Chen Yan smiled again: "His Majesty, you really know how to joke."

"Alright, alright, you quickly tell us your method." Li Shimin said with a laughing scold.

The others all perked up their ears, wanting to hear what exactly Chen Yan's method was.

Chen Yan thought for a while, then said thoughtfully: "How should I put it, these County Magistrates across the regions are like herding sheep; if you don't drive them, the sheep won't go, they'll just each find a meadow to eat grass."

"So we have to raise the whip; if they don't go, don't move, then we whip them, whip them hard, forcing the flock to move from behind."

"At the same time, we must find them fresh, lush pastures; the pasture shouldn't be too large, just enough for a portion of the sheep to eat. Those that run slowly get nothing to eat; only the fast ones get food."

"Finally, we kill the slowest sheep for meat, and do it in front of the flock, so that the flock becomes frightened."

"After enough repetitions, the flock will understand on its own; by then, even without a whip, the flock will dash desperately."

"......."