Chapter 392: Li Lizhi Who Wanted to Die

The next day, inside the imperial palace.

Empress Changsun intended to go see Li Lizhi, who had been absent‑minded since returning.

Although Li Lizhi and the Princess of Yue said they had returned to prepare congratulations for the Crown Prince, Empress Changsun still sensed something wrong from her daughter's expression.

Her daughter was good at hiding her thoughts, but once faced with a truly troubling matter, her eyes could not deceive.

Therefore, after Empress Changsun had arranged for someone to look after her younger daughter, the Princess of Heng Shan Commandery, she went to Li Lizhi's bedchamber.

At that moment, Chan er had finished attending to Li Lizhi's washing, carrying a basin out, and upon seeing Empress Changsun approach, she hurried to make a salute.

But Empress Changsun raised her hand to stop her, then gestured for her to leave.

Chan er quickly lowered her head, carrying the basin away.

But after walking a distance, she couldn't help turning back for a glance, watching Empress Changsun enter, and silently thought: 'I don't know what's wrong with the Princess these past two days; I hope Her Majesty the Empress can console the Princess well.'

At the same time, Empress Changsun entered Li Lizhi's bedchamber; at a glance she saw Li Lizhi sitting before the dressing mirror, her dull gaze reflected in the bronze mirror.

Empress Changsun confirmed her suspicion, did not speak right away, but slowly came behind Li Lizhi and gently brushed her hair: 'Lizhi, you have something on your mind.'

Li Lizhi startled, about to rise in a panic, but Empress Changsun pressed her shoulder down: 'You, from childhood you've been sensible; you never need Mother to worry, Father Emperor also praises you for that.'

'That is praise, yet also a bond.'

'As a sensible child, you naturally didn't want us to worry; at first you only asked to feed yourself without others' care, then as you grew a bit older you ran off to help look after your younger brothers and sisters, always doing everything you could within your ability.'

'Later, as you grew up, you learned embroidery from the palace seamstresses in my manner, mending clothes for your younger siblings. Later, when Father Emperor encountered hardship and lacked funds for relief, you went out to open a tavern to do business, hoping to help earn money.'

'Such a sensible you naturally wins affection, yet also makes Father Emperor and I feel heartache.'

Empress Changsun spoke in a soft tone, like a warm breeze, calming Li Lizhi's uneasy heart; gradually scenes of her past life in the palace surfaced in her mind, her eyes filled with complex emotion.

'Lizhi, do you know?' Empress Changsun said softly: 'Since last year you firmly insisted on marrying Zi An, even showing defiance, confronting Gao Yang before me and Father Emperor. Later you even begged your Imperial Grandfather to come out and support you; Father Emperor and I were pleased.'

'Because only then did I feel you were being yourself, striving with all your might for your own happiness.'

'Unlike before, you always compromised for the sake of harmony.'

'Mother, I……' Li Lizhi felt bitter inside; the words that had just welled up could not be spoken when they reached her lips.

Empress Changsun brought over a stool, sat beside Li Lizhi, took her hand gently and said: 'Lizhi, if you have something on your mind, Mother should be a good confidante, shouldn't she?'

'After all, in front of Mother you can be a child.'

The words 'you can be a child' were like a gentle yet sharp knife, piercing Li Lizhi's heart.

Her feigned strength collapsed, a surge of grievance rose in her chest; her eyes reddened instantly, she embraced Empress Changsun, and tears finally burst forth.

'Mother…… I, I seem to have done something wrong, I've made Chen Yan angry.'

'He…… he wants to drive me away, Mother, he doesn't want me anymore.'

Hearing her daughter's near‑breakdown lament, Empress Changsun froze.

She did not immediately ask what had happened; instead she patiently held her daughter, letting her vent her emotions, gently patting her back as when she was small.

Empress Changsun did not believe Li Lizhi's claim that Chen Yan wanted to drive her away and no longer wanted her.

She guessed it might be a quarrel between the newlyweds; Li Lizhi felt wronged and angry, and because Chen Yan had told her to return to the palace to wait for the Crown Princess to give birth before offering congratulations, she panicked and spoke that way.

As an observer, Empress Changsun clearly understood a principle: never blindly believe someone's words just because of one's own feelings.

Especially matters between a young couple.

Moreover, how could Chen Yan, with his intellect, possibly not want Li Lizhi?

Even a fool couldn't do such a thing.

'……'

After the daughter's emotions eased, Empress Changsun finally asked: 'Can you tell Mother what really happened?'

Li Lizhi choked, a flush rose on her face, and she stammered, unable to speak clearly.

Seeing this, Empress Changsun knew it might involve a private matter; a young lady's thin skin makes her embarrassed to speak.

She patiently counseled for a long while, and only then did Li Lizhi make up her mind, lowering her head to tell Mother the whole story in a low voice.

Upon hearing her daughter's explanation, Empress Changsun's expression was… remarkable.

She had thought that after living so many years and becoming Empress, she had seen every conceivable scene.

But today she broadened her horizons, and had to admit she had truly never seen such a scene.

Empress Changsun began to doubt life.

How should she advise?

'Mother…… I…… I know I was wrong.' Faced with Empress Changsun's gaze that was sometimes strange, sometimes subtle, sometimes doubtful, Li Lizhi felt she could not hold back.

'Lizhi, you……' Empress Changsun chose her words: 'You have your own hobbies, which is fine; as for that little amusement between you and your husband…… Mother will not judge.'

In an instant, Lizhi felt a sudden urge to die; she had already begun to regret.

Why did she have to be so stubborn as to tell Mother these things?

It would be better to wait a few days, go home, close the door, and have a good talk with Chen Yan, admit fault and yield.

'Well…… first you must understand: if it were you who were pregnant, and Gao Yang repeatedly made this demand, Zi An would handle it the same way.' Empress Changsun said as tactfully as possible:

'Moreover, Mother personally believes Zi An isn't angry; he likely just wants you to calm down. Also, Mother must remind you that Zi An differs from ordinary people; if you keep everything bottled up inside and never speak, you will only drift further from him.'

'Right!' Empress Changsun coughed: 'Mother has a few trained maidservants nearby; take them with you when you go back.'

'No! Not needed, Mother!'

Li Lizhi felt as if the soles of her shoes were about to be worn through by her own picking, her cheeks flaming red.

She had never in her life felt such a desire to die.

'……'