[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"origin-i-m-in-warhammer-please-don-t-praise-the-dora-te":3,"chapter-i-m-in-warhammer-please-don-t-praise-the-dora-te-i-m-in-warhammer-please-don-t-praise-the-dora-te-chapter-5":6},{"origin":4,"title":5},"chinese","I'm in Warhammer, Please Don't Praise the Doraemon Machine God",{"chapter":7,"nextChapterSlug":19,"prevChapterSlug":20,"totalChapters":21,"novelImage":22},{"id":8,"novel_id":9,"title":10,"slug":11,"index":12,"content":13,"wordcount":14,"created_at":15,"updated_at":15,"volume":16,"translator":17,"content_hash":18},2264828,4422,"Chapter 5: The Day You Ascend?","i-m-in-warhammer-please-don-t-praise-the-dora-te-chapter-5",5,"\u003Cp>Uranium burned in the boiler, generating current that lit the dim yellow lamps, illuminating the district buried beneath layers of overlapping buildings.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Wildly sprawling stalls squeezed the road into a narrow passage; wastewater, garbage, grease, and other refuse had invaded the pavement. Zhou Yun dodged these filths as he squeezed through the stalls.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Hot oil splattered yellow sparks; greasy meat skewers rolled on the grill. Beside the fire, lead pots simmered fat candies, slow-acting poisons yet among the city’s few sources of sweetness.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zhou Yun bought only two greasy skewers and shoved them into his mouth. If one didn’t question the meat’s origin, they were decent enough.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He pulled two cheap lho cigarettes from his pocket and tossed them into a greasy can atop the stall.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then he walked west along the narrow street, passing under an arch of scrap iron and through dense crowds, until he reached a three-way intersection.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>At each corner of the intersection stood three towering statues carved from blue stone. They pierced through layers of chaotic, overcrowded buildings like three blades severing the hive-city.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The identities of two statues had long been forgotten; some said they were the first Imperial missionaries to preach on Asford, others claimed they were the original two patriarchs of the Viceroy Flax family.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But no matter the tale, after centuries of time, neither could be verified.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Whether monk or viceroy, neither could withstand the erosion of ten thousand years.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Only the third statue—the tallest and most sacred—could make any Imperial citizen, upon a single glance, devoutly whisper its holy name.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Faint crimson sunlight poured down from above the statue, bathing its spread wings, its spear, and its face, simultaneously merciful and stern.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Saint Guilliman, demigod son of the Emperor, lord of the Ninth Legion, the Empire’s archangel.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But Zhou Yun wasn’t here to admire Saint Guilliman’s statue—he was here for the tiny tavern beneath its spearpoint.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Directly beneath the sharp tip of Saint Guilliman’s spear stood a crude shack built of glued wood and quick-set concrete.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Above its door hung a sign painted with a cup brimming with red liquid, beside which was written the tavern’s name: The Spearpoint.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Before Zhou Yun even stepped inside, he heard shouts and curses from within.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The wooden door was kicked open by a group of hive workers, dressed in common laborer garb, dragging out a thin man with a gray, ugly face tattooed with the local gang’s Old Rat sigil.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Lag, you bastard, did you eat a mutant’s shit?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The leader of the hive workers punched the gang member’s head, blow after blow.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zhou Yun glanced over and saw the gang member stretch out his hand, crying: “Brother Zhou Yun! Big Brother Zhou Yun, save me!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Even as he begged, he still dared to threaten: “This is my brother Zhou Yun—he’s got influence with our boss’s boss. You’ll regret this!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The hive workers paused, all raising their heads to stare at Zhou Yun.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zhou Yun shrugged and kicked the gang member square in the head.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Hit him for my share too. I’ll buy you all drinks later.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Hearing there’d be alcohol, the workers cheered and hit the gang member harder than before.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zhou Yun pushed open the tavern door and walked up to the bar.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Behind the bar stood the owner of The Spearpoint, a blind giant.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Rumor said he once traveled to Upper Hive using questionable methods, where he lost one eye; locals called him Old One-Eye.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The name always reminded Zhou Yun of the infamous Tyranid executioner.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Smoke? Drink?” Old One-Eye asked, a lho cigarette dangling from his lips.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Lho cigarettes weren’t real tobacco—they were a byproduct of uranium refining, essentially an addictive anesthetic laced with tobacco flavoring; too much would blind you.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But they were cheap, let people forget their dark lives, and eased the unbearable pressure of hive labor—making them a necessity, even currency, for many in the city.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Under Augustus Flax’s neglect, the lower city’s order had collapsed, on par with Gotham in the 2K era.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Although the Viceroy also lost his parents at an early age, he never wore a tight suit to become a night-time vigilante.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Often, lho cigarettes worked better than the Viceroy’s own currency.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>So Zhou Yun waved off the offer of smoke and gestured for a drink.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Old One-Eye wiped a grimy glass and slid a cup of crimson, bubbling liquid toward him.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>This was certainly not expensive wine—it was Old One-Eye’s own brew, distilled from uranium waste.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It likely contained strange, unlisted ingredients—who knew how many tech-hacks or horrors lurked inside.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But after years in the hive, Zhou Yun had learned: out of sight, out of mind.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>As long as he didn’t know the recipe, he could down a full cup without flinching.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“What did that bastard Lag do this time? Keep breeding mutants?” Zhou Yun asked, glancing at the man still being beaten outside.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>His name was Lag, a low-tier member of the Lower Hive Rat Gang—he was the one who sold Zhou Yun the location of the abandoned district.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Who knows? He’s always asking for a beating. One more won’t hurt.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Old One-Eye said, cigarette in mouth:\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“The Emperor teaches honesty, but he’ll never learn it.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zhou Yun nodded in full agreement.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Oh, any new rumors these past two days?” he asked after draining half the crimson drink.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Fresh news: a scavenger found the abandoned Old Sector Eight.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Old One-Eye replied:\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Oh, that’s from the neighboring district. The Ark Gang—the new faction that’s risen these past few years—has taken over the district next door.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Ark Gang,” Zhou Yun muttered. He thought he remembered that gene-thief, crushed into a bug-patty, muttering that name.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>So Zhou Yun recalled what he knew of the Ark Gang.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>A semi-religious gang, recently risen, originally founded far from his district, only expanding nearby lately.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Their leader claimed to be a devout follower of the Emperor, declaring he delivered divine punishment upon sinners.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He also claimed the devils among the stars were about to extend their claws toward Asford, swallowing the entire planet whole.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Only by joining the Ark Gang, forging an ark to the stars, could one ascend when the devils descended—and be saved.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Huh.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zhou Yun paused, slightly stunned.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He turned the words over in his mind.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Ark, Emperor’s guidance, day of descent, ascension, salvation—this was way too familiar.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Was this Ark Gang just a front for the gene-thief cult?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zhou Yun’s eye twitched. He was already planning his escape and relocation.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>At that moment, a wail came from outside.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Brother Zhou Yun, how can you abandon me like this!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zhou Yun punched the ugly face.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>That’s all for today. I’m going to paint the bug-worms.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>(End of Chapter)\u003C\u002Fp>",1116,"2026-06-19T20:02:14.192Z",1,"Qwen3-Next 80B","1b36289b9f8d646277ffb7e1c0dbf7b532b46fabbcdfe88e78cbd5ebbedbe68c","i-m-in-warhammer-please-don-t-praise-the-dora-te-chapter-6","i-m-in-warhammer-please-don-t-praise-the-dora-te-chapter-4",711,"https:\u002F\u002Fnovelzhen.com\u002Fimages\u002Fcovers\u002Fi-m-in-warhammer-please-don-t-praise-the-doraemo-cover.jpg"]