[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"origin-i-m-not-crazy-this-is-the-emperor-s-banner":3,"chapter-i-m-not-crazy-this-is-the-emperor-s-banner-i-m-not-crazy-this-is-the-emperor-s-banner-chapter-58":6},{"origin":4,"title":5},"chinese","I'm Not Crazy—This Is the Emperor's Banner",{"chapter":7,"nextChapterSlug":19,"prevChapterSlug":20,"totalChapters":21,"novelImage":22},{"id":8,"novel_id":9,"title":10,"slug":11,"index":12,"content":13,"wordcount":14,"created_at":15,"updated_at":15,"volume":16,"translator":17,"content_hash":18},2291398,4480,"Chapter 58: Having a Home","i-m-not-crazy-this-is-the-emperor-s-banner-chapter-58",58,"\u003Cp>When Yi Xingyue first came, she disliked her grandmother very much.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It was when her father had just died, and her mother sent her back to the countryside.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She thought her grandmother was old and ugly, and that she looked down on her for being a girl.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She clearly remembered how her grandmother often sighed at her: “If only you were a boy…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But she didn’t know when she started to like her grandmother.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Maybe it was when she wanted to eat chicken, and in the dead of winter, freezing cold, her grandmother got up early to kill a chicken for her…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Maybe it was when she wanted a ballpoint pen, and in the pouring rain, her grandmother trudged through mud, stepping deep and shallow, to buy her one in town—though in the end she brought back a pencil…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Maybe it was when she cried and threw tantrums, and her grandmother never got angry, only smiled and gently stroked her cheeks with her rough hands…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Maybe it was in summer, lying beside her, eyes closed, gently fanning her with a reed fan…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Yi Xingyue didn’t answer her grandmother’s question, and her grandmother didn’t ask again.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The two of them went to town, and as usual, her grandmother went to the scrap yard to sell things.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But this time, she didn’t drag her little cart back home as usual.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Instead, she went to a shop in town and bought a hairband.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>A very old-fashioned one—black, made of twisted wire, with no decoration or embellishment whatsoever.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Her grandmother put the hairband on her head and smiled at Yi Xingyue.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Does this look neater?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Grandma looks beautiful,” Yi Xingyue said happily.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Her grandmother chuckled: “I’m just an old woman—what’s there to be beautiful about?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then she took Yi Xingyue’s hand and went to the toy store next door, where she bought her a pair of butterfly wings to wear on her back.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She picked the largest, most beautiful pair—and naturally, the most expensive.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She pulled out an old handkerchief from her pocket, counted out the coins bit by bit, and spent several minutes paying.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Grandma, you still remember?” Yi Xingyue held the butterfly wings, feeling her eyes sting.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Aside from stationery and food, her grandmother rarely bought her toys; she thought such things were useless and would just be thrown away, a complete waste of money.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Her favorite saying was: “What you eat is truly yours.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The last time she wanted her grandmother to buy her butterfly wings was because she’d seen a little kid in the village wearing a beautiful pair.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But her grandmother always said, “Next time, next time I’ll buy you one…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And then there was no next time.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Yi Xingyue really wanted to tell her grandmother that she no longer liked this, that she had grown up, that she wasn’t a little girl anymore.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But—for some reason—she still felt a little happy.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>On the way back, her grandmother helped her put the wings on her back.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“So beautiful—you look just like a little fairy,” her grandmother chuckled.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Grandma, I’m dead now—I’m a ghost, not a fairy,” Yi Xingyue said.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Her grandmother fell silent, walked a long stretch of road, then said: “But I feel like you’re still alive—where’s the look of death? Isn’t your mother lying to me?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Yi Xingyue shook her head, then told her about Shen Siyuan.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“So you met a master.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Upon hearing this, her grandmother was very happy for Yi Xingyue.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“You must thank him properly,” her grandmother said, then asked in detail: What was the master’s name? Where did he live?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Yi Xingyue treated it like casual chatter and told her grandmother everything.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>About two weeks later, one day after Shen Siyuan got off work and returned home, he found a note stuck to his door: Someone was waiting for him at the gatehouse.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>So he met the old woman—she had arrived that morning and waited until he got home, carrying a slaughtered chicken, a basket of eggs, a bundle of loose coins wrapped in a handkerchief, and the butterfly wings.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>No one knew how she found him, or how she carried all these things here…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>That’s a story for later—let’s leave it for now.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>From beginning to end, her grandmother never asked Yi Xingyue why she tried to kill herself.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Instead, Yi Xingyue couldn’t help but ask why her grandmother never asked.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Her grandmother said: “When people are alive, they often face walls they can’t climb over. When I was young, I often wanted to die too—but I was an adult, I gritted my teeth and pushed through. But you’re still a child—it’s normal if you can’t.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Hearing this, Yi Xingyue burst into tears.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>She hadn’t cried like this in a very, very long time.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Her grandmother stroked her cheeks, using her rough hands to wipe away her tears.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Through tear-blurred eyes, she said: “The thing I regret most is giving you to your mother—she’s your mother, she should’ve helped you get past it…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“I didn’t want to either…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Mom, was Dad really part of the underworld when he was young?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Seeing her father go into the kitchen, Zhu Tingting whispered to her mother.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Du Xiuzhi pulled her daughter close, stroking her hair, and said softly: “Don’t listen to gossip—your father was very quiet when he was young.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“But… but…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“You mean the tattoo on his arm?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Du Xiuzhi turned her daughter’s face toward her and looked into her eyes.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zhu Tingting nodded obediently.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“He got it to protect me—he probably cried his eyes out when he did it. Your father was a crybaby when he was young—he used to cry all the time…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zhu Tingting’s eyes widened in disbelief.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“I’m not lying.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Du Xiuzhi smiled as she recounted the past.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“I was your father’s neighbor, but I was a good student, while your father was a fool—he dropped out of middle school and went to work outside…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“When he earned money, he’d often buy me things…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Then my family had an accident—your grandparents died, and our relatives, seeing I was just a little girl, thought I was easy to bully. They all came crawling out, causing trouble at our door…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Your father stood up for me—he argued with them, fought with them…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“To scare them off, he got a tattoo, dyed his hair, grabbed a knife, and cried while swinging it—your relatives all scattered like birds and beasts…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Then your father was arrested—he spent months in jail—but before they took him, he threatened my relatives: if they ever bullied me again, he’d come out and kill them all…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“And after that, no one ever dared come near me again…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Wow, Dad’s so cool.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zhu Tingting’s eyes widened—never before had she felt such admiration for her father.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“So you see, don’t be too weak—weakness invites bullying. First, learn to be strong yourself. Don’t hide things from those closest to you—face them together, solve them. You’re still a child…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Du Xiuzhi lightly tapped her nose, implying something.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Then… what happened after?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“After that… your father kept working, I kept studying. When I graduated, we got married, and then you came along…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Du Xiuzhi smiled faintly, lost in memory.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zhu Guangfa came out of the kitchen and saw the mother and daughter laughing happily.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He asked suspiciously: “You weren’t talking bad about me, were you?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Mom said you were a crybaby when you were young.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“How could you tell her that? Don’t I have any dignity?” Zhu Guangfa exclaimed.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The mother and daughter laughed even louder.\u003C\u002Fp>",1252,"2026-06-20T03:53:08.657Z",1,"Qwen3-Next 80B","4ba432e32e6e2bdf32634263d85871ff8ddb3482d3e0c6bcf601e0c97e02c428","i-m-not-crazy-this-is-the-emperor-s-banner-chapter-59","i-m-not-crazy-this-is-the-emperor-s-banner-chapter-57",623,"https:\u002F\u002Fnovelzhen.com\u002Fimages\u002Fcovers\u002Fi-m-not-crazy-this-is-the-emperor-s-banner-cover.jpg"]