Chapter 170: Eternal Joy

The Dharma assembly lasted three days, the prefecture three days.

Du Shanü......

She was despondent for three days.

That drop of blood splashed on her face was far heavier than anyone imagined.

Even she herself was unaware of this 'weight'.

Before that drop of blood, Du Shanü always felt that with her two lifetimes of memories, creating a lightweight army to sweep enemy forces with unstoppable momentum was no problem.

After that drop of blood, Du Shanü truly understood: weapons are easy to make, but cultivating the mind is hard.

Ancient sayings often recall: the Overlord would not cross east of the river.

Even worse, some would secretly scorn, feeling that the Overlord's unwillingness to return home and make a comeback was not 'smooth' enough, lacking 'flexibility'.

However, few ever ponder why the Overlord refused to cross east of the river.

Just ask: you started out as merely a centurion—no, a decurion—leading eight or nine fellow villagers on campaign, fighting abroad.

When weapons clashed, flesh and blood piled into mountains.

After many years passed and the war ended, only you remained alone, returning to your homeland.

At that moment, a white-haired old woman stopped you and asked:

"Good child, you've finally come back! My doggie went out with you back then—how is it that only you return, and he's nowhere to be seen?"

You remember doggie—he was the youngest brother in a squad of ten, only seventeen when he was conscripted.

You also recognized her; when you once took her doggie out, you had promised her you would surely protect him.

However, the fact is, you were unable to bring doggie home.

Not only were you unable to bring him home, but even in a trench seven years ago, it was doggie who, to shield you, took an arrow to the chest and died in your arms.

So, how would you answer this old woman?

Moreover, it's not just this old woman; there are also neighbors who likewise entrusted their children to you, or relatives by marriage such as aunts and uncles.

They trusted your ability as a squad leader, so they sent their children to serve as soldiers, possibly even using some silver to get them into your squad.

So, tell me, how would you answer those who watch eagerly for your return?

Du Shanü did not know the answer, but thinking of those pairs of expectant gazes......

She even felt that if she herself died, perhaps it would not be so painful.

This is still just the burden of a decurion, centurion, commander of a thousand......

Perhaps the burden to bear is even heavier.

And ultimately, this is nobody's fault, nor can it be blamed on anyone.

Since ancient times, weapons have no eyes, life and death are impermanent.

Nobody wishes to die, but if one truly has love and righteousness, one cannot help but be willing to let others die.

However, if we do not sacrifice these lives to defend home and country today, tomorrow we may see even more elderly, weak, women, and children perish.

Then, how should we choose?

Being decisive in action is not innate cold-bloodedness, nor is it being able to watch people die before you without feeling anything.

That path, that path of 'summiting'......

Far more difficult to walk than Du Shanü had previously imagined.

Wistful, dazed.

Just a single breath is enough to make one lax.

Outside the house, the Dharma assembly flourished, incense thriving.

Inside the house, day and night are indistinguishable, the sun and moon not distinguished.

Behind the curtains, a beautiful woman pours wine, attending left and right.

And Du Shanü finally fell completely into the cup——

Chinu, fragrance.

Chinu, extremely fragrant.

That is a dark, cold fragrance unique to Chinu—like sandalwood yet not, beneath its cool clarity lies a deep warmth.

The scent is not strong, yet it wends itself around you, and upon drawing near you inexplicably feel parched.

Du Shanü took a sip of wine, then went to smell the fragrance; smelling and smelling, her soul would flutter and scatter.

Each time Chinu drank the wine from her mouth, she would want to hold the person tighter, ever tighter.

Du Shanü, in this life—or rather, both lifetimes combined—has never been so lax, fearful, foolish, weak, or...... unwilling to wake up.

She occasionally goes mad, saying to Chinu:

"Good slave-slave, let's not fight for the world."

"We'll save those decades in between and retire directly—isn't that wonderful?"

She occasionally regains lucidity, and again asks Chinu:

"Good slave-slave, you say, if I don't contend for the world, will we still have a future?"

"Good slave-slave, you say, are worldly affairs always so moving?"

"Good slave-slave, you say......"

Human life is the first opening of heaven and earth, yet Du Shanü calls Chinu 'good slave-slave' over and over again.

And no matter how mad or lucid she becomes......

Chinu will never stop the action of 'refilling' her cup.

Or perhaps he did answer seriously, but Du Shanü already had the answer in her heart, and was fascinated by watching the curtains unfold layer by layer, not listening closely......

In the end she never waited for an answer, but only retained the overlapping light and shadow of sun and moon, and Chinu's icy, peerless beauty.

Chinu clearly hasn't drunk alcohol, yet he is just as mad as she is.

That's right.

She is mad, he is mad too.

The two seem to always answer irrelevantly, yet they seem to be of one mind all along.

She asks him, if he does not conquer the world, would he be willing to wander the world with her?

He asks her, whether only when all people under heaven are dead can she ever be unswerving.

Chinu seems to always ask, who does she love, who will she love.

Who does she love today, who tomorrow, who the day after?

Du Shanü is pragmatic, she dare not speak plainly, lest she cannot fulfill her wishes later.

But he, unable to obtain Du Shanü's promise, becomes ever more doubtful, lacking confidence.

Everything between them is like moths flying into the flame......

They both sink together, it has become a settled fate.

The faint chanting of scriptures in Zhoufu, Du Shanü never goes to listen.

She only tries to seek a beautiful dream.

But when she wakes from this dream, she does not have the mental clarity she imagined before falling asleep.

Perhaps it's the wine, perhaps it's fatigue.

Or perhaps it's because their love forever brings unrestrained decadence and self-destruction.

When Du Shanü wakes, she doesn't even remember the dream within the dream, only a foggy mind and a strong fragrance choking her nostrils.

This feeling is certainly not good.

Du Shanü struggles to push Chinu, who is leaning on her shoulder, aside, lifts a corner of the curtain, and lies on the bed's edge, gasping heavily.

And deep within the curtains, a hand slowly reaches out.

That hand has distinct knuckles, fingertips slightly cool, it wraps from her waist side to the front, first lightly resting on her forearm, as if touching yet not.

There is still a thin sheen of sweat on her forearm, and alcohol.

Those fingertips are like an inch‑by‑inch approaching poisonous snake, gradually wiping away those filthy traces.

Then he goes around the most delicate part of her wrist, the pad of his finger slowly circling her protruding joint.

Du Shanü, having barely caught her breath, feels it tighten again.

That hand then climbs up, gripping her, palm scorching, each finger slipping between hers, ten fingers interlaced, allowing Du Shanü's originally tense mind to relax a little.

This time, Du Shanü finally hears that reply.

Behind her, that Chinu, who from the first meeting boasted of grand ambitions and spoke endlessly of wealth and honor......

He said, he said:

"I will go with you."

"No need to ask if there is a 'hereafter'; even if you have nothing, I will still go with you."

?? Everlasting Joy——

? The basis of this ci pattern is mostly tragic and heroic, indignant, and filled with feelings for the rise and fall of the nation.

? However, Shasha meeting Chinu is merely the literal meaning of 【Everlasting Joy】, nothing more.

? 【This chapter has been revised more than ten times, even the meat scraps have been changed away, I can only do it like this, haha, the side story will give you lots of meat!】