Chapter 195: The Foolish Slave's Monologue (Seven)

That day, I somewhat forgot how I actually left.

I only vaguely remember that I must have struck out.

I didn't want to strike out.

I didn't want to strike out.

But I, I just couldn't hold back.

My mother's status is hard to speak of; I know, I've always known.

But no matter how bad she was, no matter how others mocked her...

She was still my mother.

She strained her last breath to secure a good household for me.

If there were a way to free herself, wouldn't my mother want to leave that life and live decently?

Could it be, could it be that my mother willingly sold her beauty?

No.

No.

It was her father who gambled recklessly, losing everything, and sent her to the brothel.

This story, she told countless times in the brothel.

Many people remembered her story, but no one took it seriously.

After all, she was always saying it.

When she was young she said, her father didn't want her, but her mother loved her and would surely come find her.

When she was younger she said, that sweetheart promised to redeem her and would surely return to save her.

And when she grew older she said, even if the money were lower...... it would do, as long as it could buy medicine. Live a few more years, maybe my child would come back.

But there was none.

In the end, a mat was rolled to the Mass Grave, and no one went back to look for her.

Her child, only many years later, barely heard of her affairs and learned everything about her.

Didn't she want to be respectable?

But when she couldn't even fill her stomach, and had to trade her body for medicine money, what respectability was there?

After all, after all, what respectability could there be???

How did everything written in that letter become an excuse for others to mock me and my mother?

I don't understand.

I struck out.

But I actually didn't want to strike out.

Because the Wife Master was still by my side.

Since I was selected at eight and entered the Guard Battalion, everyone I sparred with said my fighting stance was no different from a yaksha's.

The other four officials aren't bright, but they have a saying that's quite right.

Under heaven there are many talents; the battalion actually isn't lacking people stronger than me.

Only, those who fight desperately like me are few and far between.

As for what a 'yaksha' is, it's better to say it's a 'wild dog'.

Drooling, tearing up, biting onto prey and refusing to let go.

That appearance is surely ugly and frequent.

I...

I don't want her to see.

Saying I love you, even if said a thousand times, ten thousand times, countless times.

But being so ugly, so ashamed, perhaps one day nothing will remain.

This is not right.

This is not good.

Surely, we still ought to keep some longing.

If only, if only I were a bit better-looking, that would be good.

If only, if only my background were a bit better, that would be good.

If only...

If she truly loved me, that would be the best of the best.

If she truly loved me, that would be the number one best thing in the world.

In that case——

Perhaps she wouldn't look at me with those eyes.

Perhaps I wouldn't fail to understand what lies at the bottom of those eyes.

Perhaps my frenzied, ugly appearance when fighting A Chou could be tolerated.

Perhaps she wouldn't grab my hand to stop me and then turn toward A Chou.

I heard it.

I truly heard it.

She said:

"A Chou, go back."

One casual sentence unveiled half my life.

I don't understand why the person who held me last night, saying they would love and cherish me for lifetimes, is not biased toward me.

Perhaps... I'm still too stupid.

I only knew my mother wasn't taken away, but I forgot that many men also made vows and swore oaths by her bedside.

They never came back to take my mother; no matter how beautiful those vows sounded, they were all lies.

After I and she were entwined unto death, the vows piled up.

Naturally, they also cannot be considered true.

Today, A Chou rarely makes a move to fight, and he holds nothing back.

I also have some wounds, but right now I don't want to get entangled with A Chou.

I want to go, I want to go...

Anywhere is fine, as long as I don't stay here; anywhere will do.

But even such a small request couldn't be fulfilled.

Wife Master stopped me again.

No.

No.

To be precise, she took hold of me.

Just as before, she took my hand and walked along an ordinary afternoon street.

Many people cast their gazes, but she never let go.

A Chou was somewhat taken aback, but she spoke lightly and only said:

"This isn't something you can control."

"Just remember, protecting Yu Baobao is the only use I have for sparing your life."

No threat, no sky‑toppling fury.

I stood behind her, also unable to see the expression on her face.

But after that instant, I understood, I finally understood.

She is not merely biased toward A Chou.

She perhaps also has some partiality toward me.

Because, after that sentence—

On A Chou's face, long since destroyed, the flesh around the wound twitched uncontrollably, and his eyes were filled with utter terror and shock.

A Chou is also human; he naturally gets startled and afraid as well.

But such profound shock is indeed rare.

If I remember correctly, only during the first time I ever faced the Taizong did I slightly reveal a hint.

At that time, Taizong also made no threats and flew into no rage.

That emperor who unified the Nine Provinces merely sat high upon his proper seat, and his aura was mighty, with all peoples submitting.

When he spoke, the other four ministers, filled with awe and dread, were willing to lay liver and brains on the ground for the Young Emperor...

For all these years, it has never changed.

Perhaps I once had the same thought back then.

I merely craved a window of my own, and longed to touch a corner of the palace gate that could only be glimpsed at the guardhouse door.

Thus, after all these years, I became a wavering "true Chinu".

But it's fine, it's fine.

This time, I also met my destined heavenly maiden.

This time, it is my destined heavenly maiden, clearing away others' rumors for me and making decisions for me.

I love her.

In this world, I love her the most.

No one is born to die for someone else.

But, if it is her.

Chinu will surely follow her to death.】

This A Chou, did his brain get cut off together with his umbilical cord back then?!

Du Shanü dragged Chinu, hurrying back to Dun Cheng, while her mind kept cursing—

Usually A Chou laughs and jokes, but she never imagined that once he opened his mouth, it would be like knives stabbing straight into people's hearts.

Even though she wasn't involved, hearing those words felt like a blade suddenly thrust into her chest.

Even that wasn't enough; it twisted around before being pulled out.

And she herself felt that way, let alone Chinu.

But given this situation, it seems impossible to make amends; Du Shanü could only fret while weighing her words.

As for Chinu, he was spaced out the whole way; occasionally glancing at her, he would quickly shift his gaze to look only at her shadow on the ground...

Then he furtively opened his mouth and took a bite of her shadow!

Du Shanü caught it several times in her peripheral vision, unable to fathom what her slave was thinking, so she just let him be.

The two of them, on two mounts, raced all the way back to Dun Cheng; upon landing at the Xian Xie, Du Shanü was about to take her wounded slave to wash up, tidy himself, and then come out to meet people.

But before she could act, she happened to run into Chen Weifang hurrying out the door.

Chen Weifang seemed to have urgent business today, walking extremely fast, with a few creases on his wide sleeves that weren't there usually.

He saw the two of them, seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, was about to speak, but then clearly noticed the wounded corner of Chinu's mouth.

Chen Weifang's face almost instantly darkened, and he asked:

"What's going on?"

?? coming coming||ヽ(*￣▽￣*)ノミ|Ю