Chapter 203

Half a courtyard away, one room is warm and tranquil.

Inside the house it was so quiet that the clear sound of silver chopsticks touching porcelain plates could be heard.

Ruan Jintian sat upright at the table, his back straight like a pine, each mouthful of food chewed with precise measure.

Before him on the table lay exactly six refined dishes: in the celadon plates were jade shrimp, magnolia slices stir-fried with meat shreds, and blanched asparagus; besides, there were a basket each of shrimp dumplings and spring rolls, and in the center a bowl of white porridge steaming hot.

He first took a sip of porridge, unhurried, then picked up a shrimp and placed it in his mouth.

When the silver chopsticks rested on the holder, they made almost no sound.

The pause between each bite seemed measured, neither too long nor too short, just like his steps when walking—orderly, with proper stride.

After about seven or eight bites, he set down his silver chopsticks.

The attendants brought from the Ruan Family, standing by, had long grown accustomed to this routine.

Their young master was a proper gentleman, never overindulging; even the finest dishes he would eat only a few bites before stopping—this is the gentleman's way of self-cultivation.

He governs his person with moderation, never yielding to gluttonous desire.

"Clear it away."

The personal attendant whispered the order, and the maids stepped forward in single file, carrying away the still-steaming dishes one plate after another, their movements swift and silent.

No one noticed that today this proper gentleman's left hand resting on his knee had whitened knuckles, as if he were desperately suppressing something——

The Ruan clan hails from a pure lineage, with poetry and books passed down, its foundations quite rich.

Such a family places utmost importance on face and propriety.

Such a family, by rights, should place utmost importance on face and propriety.

However, however.

Nowadays, everything seems to have changed somewhat.

Ruan Jintian himself could not say exactly wherein that difference lay; he only knew that he seemed to feel a bit…… regret.

Indeed, regret.

If it were the previous night, if it were the previous night…… had I not been awakened by the commotion, had I not risen out of curiosity……

If, if, if I had not seen that pair…… the mortally entwined 【winter cicada】.

Perhaps now, everything could have been avoided.

When he was young he had heard the anecdote of the cold cicada breaking through the soil, saying that this little creature drinks only dew, eats no grains, lives born in the morning and dies by dusk, its nature pure.

Buried underground for two or three years, or as long as fourteen or fifteen, it breaks the surface merely to see heaven and earth for a dozen days, in order to glimpse the great Dao of heaven and earth—a paradigm where death is not to be regretted.

However, however.

It was only that night that he learned: when the cold cicada emerges from the earth, perhaps there is still one thing it must do—and that is——

Reproduction.

Frenzied, sharp cries, beastly nature fully revealed......

Yet they indulge to the death, trying to grasp the last thread of tenderness between heaven and earth.

Or rather, trying to seize the last thread of freedom between heaven and earth.

Chirp after chirp of the cicada, each sound entering the ear.

Heaven and earth in frenzy, utterly indulgent.

Yet it left him, who had never seen such a scene before, frightened stupid.

The Ruan clan, each person from the moment of birth onward, seems to have unfathomable rules.

How much food per meal, how many steps per stride, when to study, when to rest—all have fixed numbers.

Even a grandfather whom the outside world calls 'reckless'—that is merely arrogance in conduct; at home, every meal and every action follows a set pattern, adhering to rules.

This is the Ruan clan's 'rule'.

That day, he stood there in a daze for a while, then stumbled away from the corridor, and it was nearly dawn.

All of that bore no resemblance to the gentleman's way he had previously learned; it was utterly different——

From then on, the silhouettes of that pair of cold cicadas continually entangled his mind......

Freedom, exhilaration, unrestraint, indulgence, abandon......

Life, destiny—should they too be lived so indulgent?

I don't know.

Ruan Jintian doesn't know.

He only knows that somewhere in his chest a small flame seems to have been kindled.

That flame is not large, yet it burns him, causing him to toss and turn, unable to sleep for the first time.

Hardly had he just closed his eyes when a quarrel sounded outside, prompting him to follow the sound involuntarily.

Afterward, he again caught a glimpse of another extraordinarily unusual scene——

That woman......

Indeed, it is exactly the wanton woman he had previously deemed flighty; after losing her smile, her face bears an intimidation that few can meet straight on.

He cannot describe that gaze, whether it be looking down from above or an aura that overpowers......

Actually, these are quite plain words.

Some people, merely by standing there, can make others bow and lower their heads, willingly letting that person's foot tread upon their head.

No, not just stepping on the head, but even feeling grateful and honored from the depths of one's heart.

He watched her stop the two from coming to blows, he watched her drive away the Young Emperor's attendants, he watched her, before departing, issue a series of orderly low-voiced commands......

He seemed, once again, to be witnessing an indescribable indulgence.

And that 'indulgence' kept letting out low growls toward him, as if trying to tell him——

Rules are dead, empty, false.

He sought a grand, earth-shaking spectacle, but it was indeed real.

He himself couldn't do it, but he......

It could be glimpsed.

This thought is absurd.

This thought, of course, is absurd.

He immediately nipped this thought of his in the bud.

At that time, he......

Indeed, he had nipped this thought.

Just unknown why, it seemed only half a day, and before he himself even realized it, he had already ordered the carriage prepared and horses readied, returning to Cang Cheng.

Along the way, he repeatedly told himself——

Turn back, turn back, turn back.

No matter how many secrets that woman hides, whatever the grandfather seeks, he only needs to do his own part well and guard the little emperor……

This would also count as being true to a gentleman's heart.

However, however.

No matter how many times he recited these words in his heart, when he opened his mouth he could not utter a sound.

Why would it be so?

Why would it be so?

He didn't know.

He truly didn't know.

He only knew that his mind was possessed, as if bewitched; whenever he closed his eyes, he could see that pair of cicadas emerging from the earth, dripping.

Did he himself also want it?

No, not exactly……

Because he definitely couldn't compare to that male cicada……

What did he want to do then?

Perhaps he merely wanted……

Ruan Jintian spaced out at the table for a while, long enough that the attendants in his retinue finally sensed something amiss.

The attendant silently wondered whether his young master was unwell and whether he needed to see a doctor……

But before he could speak, he saw two familiar figures stride past the other attendants, swaggering across the threshold and into the hall.

Ruan Jintian still hadn't reacted, but Du Shanü broke into a smile as soon as she saw him.

"Young Master Ruan, from afar I saw you had cleared away a rather abundant breakfast... Is it not to your taste?"

Ruan Jintian finally came to, turning his somewhat unfocused gaze toward the two people before him.

In Du Shanü's eyes, that stern and inflexible face hadn't changed much; it was merely that today Ruan Jintian's expression was truly somewhat inexplicable.

The other party stared at her and Chinu for a few moments, then suddenly spoke:

"... I want to watch you act..."

Chinu: "?"

Du Shanü: "?"

What is this person spouting first thing in the morning?

She's long said this person is sick, right!?

?? Is that right, a smart kid should have figured it out—this person's name sounds like 'ruan jing tian'... (sorry, Teacher Ruan Jingtian), so this person must have some quirk……

?? Belongs to the type of 'after following the rules for too long, one suddenly does something big'……

?? Feeling that since the quest to conquer the world began, all sorts of eccentrics have come knocking, it's a shame Shasha had to round them all up……