Chapter 238: This heart wished to decide, yet all it saw was Chinu

Chen Weifang's deep resentment......

Du Shanü did not notice it at once.

Afterwards, heaven and earth were overturned, and she could not divert her attention.

That night, the sun and moon were overturned.

Du Shanü, after a long time, had a splendid dream——

In her dream she saw herself holding Chinu's hand, barefoot, shuttling between heaven and earth.

The heavens were vast, the earth boundless.

The two searched many places, but never found a sheltered place to rest.

Until......

The moonlight rippled, the wave shadows glimmered.

Under the moonlit night, they beheld that magnificent river.

The two were already exhausted, and with things having come to this, they could only risk their lives to cross.

Everything was just like the vulgar romances sung and laughed about by the common folk in the market streets.

No matter how eye-catching the beginning, no matter how strangely, innocently, or wickedly the mountain sprites are described......

In the end they could not escape falling into the mundane world, becoming slaves to love.

Even though she was extraordinarily talented and Chinu was supremely clever, they still could not escape it.

Hand in hand, they stepped into that river which faintly bore a hint of lonely chill.

Floating clouds obscured it; this moon was desolate.

She gritted her teeth, enduring the trembling, and asked Chinu, "Are you cold?"

Chinu only countered her question:

"Wife Master, do you know what is in this water?"

She answered "wind," and Chinu said no.

She answered "moon," and Chinu said no.

She hazily answered "moonlight," and Chinu also said no.

Thus, after a long while, she found another answer.

Du Shanü asked:

"Is it you and me, you and me...... right?"

Though heaven and earth are vast, and myriad things many.

Yet, when the two met, in the darkness it seemed as if only she and he existed between heaven and earth.

The cold wind blew gently, the moon's shadow dim.

Wind and moon came together, bewitching the soul and seizing the spirit.

The bell on Chinu's waist-chain rang, like bait in a trap.

That sound paused for an instant, and Du Shanü finally managed to half-close her eyes——

She guessed that Chinu, who so craved to be different, must finally be satisfied with this answer.

However, however.

Yet Chinu still only answered:

"...... wrong, wrong."

Heaven and earth give birth to all things without discrimination, and all things arise from this river.

However, many people have never considered one matter——

A most fundamental, most fundamental matter.

Chinu said, Chinu said:

"...... love."

"Wife Master, what truly flows in this river...... is, love."

Without love, even if perhaps one could step into this river.

Yet, it is destined that one cannot reach the far shore.

In countless ages, unknown how many people with the same gaze as theirs have set foot before this magnificent river.

Yet, only a very few can withstand the storming waves in the chill called 'time.'

Chinu is always like this.

Chinu is always like this.

Chinu hates heaven and earth, and she also learns his pattern, saying she will hate him to the bone for a lifetime, hoping thereby to catch up.

Yet, when she truly utters the word 'love,' Chinu only says that he loves her almost to madness.

That statement is, of course, false.

Du Shanü will not believe it.

Du Shanü has clearly made up her mind, and will absolutely not believe it.

Yet, at the moment of reaching the far shore this night.....

Compared to the moonlight, what she first saw was actually the tear tracks on the back of her hand.

Gleaming and lovely, this heart is clear.

The more love, the more hate.

The more hate, the more love.

So much love, so much hate.

Made her......

Made her hate so much she wished she could cry out loud.

Made her again hate so much, hate so much that under this night's moonlight she would grant death to Chinu.

Love is hard to come by, obsessive hatred even harder to find.

If, if Chinu will someday change, then before anything arrives, it would be better to now grant death to this Chinu who loves and hates her to the utmost......

Thus, she could keep Chinu.

Thus, she could forever keep Chinu.

Could not be found again.

Du Shanü need not swear; she knows for sure that she cannot be found again.

Such a Chinu, how could there be a second one in the mortal world?

Such a Chinu, how could one let him sink and drift away with the waves, to fall into the great river?

She dared not gamble on human hearts.

But, she could not bear to see Chinu, like an orchid withered and jade broken.

How could she bear to let go?

How could she bear to let go?

Clearly, they could still have ten years, twenty years, fifty years......

In ten years, they might already have offspring, might be able to earn some silver, might be able to establish a family business.

In twenty years, their lives will already be stable; the past gloom will surely drift away from them, never to return......

Du Shanü repeatedly choked with sobs, repeatedly went to kiss Chinu.

However, Chinu did not know what obsession he had committed again.

He heard her words, yet also shed tears, foolishly asking her:

...... A hundred years later?

"Quickly say...... quickly say......"

"When the time comes a hundred years later to part from heaven and earth...... you, you can stay by my side?"

Cannot......

Cannot......

It is absolutely impossible, a separation.

She absolutely could not bear to let Chinu leave her, nor could she bear to part from Chinu.

Du Shanü, half-asleep half-awake, repeated the answer countless times.

But Chinu, as if not hearing, repeatedly sought the answer.

The result of their mad descent into oblivion is......

Day and night indistinguishable, time undifferentiated, when Du Shanü awoke again, her throat still painfully sore.

Logically speaking, upon waking in the past, she would first sit up, swallow a bowl of medicine, then hold a soothing tangerine in her mouth, and that would be about enough.

However, perhaps because of the recent brief separation, Du Shanü this time could not even sit up, her throat feeling a faint tearing sensation, almost strangling.

Yet, precisely because of the brief separation, Du Shanü also did not want to rise; she merely held Chinu, speaking with a hoarse voice:

"Good slave, this time did you miss me?"

Du Shanü asks this naturally because she knows what kind of person Chinu is.

She also knows full well that, given Chinu's temperament, the answer will surely not escape phrases like 'didn't think,' 'not at all,' 'never thinking of home, I wish you'd die out there,' and similar remarks.

But Du Shanü simply wants to hear it, Du Shanü simply wants to hear it.

She looks forward to Chinu hating her once, twice, a hundred times, a thousand times......

For the rest of her life, countless times.

Only thus could she feel that she was still alive.

Only thus could she tell herself that the comfort she felt from Chinu and Afang was not false.

Before the two of them, she was not the Du Shanü who had to put on a cold-faced rakshasa act to control the scene; instead, she was more lively, more versed in laughter, words, and teasing......

"Want."

Beyond Du Shanü's expectations, Chinu did not harden his mouth, but simply held her tightly, foolishly answering.

He seemed still immersed in the previous beautiful dream, his brows and eyes gentle, his expression content, his whole person like a well-fed civet that has tucked away its sharp claws.

Chinu repeated the same word several times before seeming to realize something, then sat up to kiss her.

The most foolish, most foolish Chinu of this world, today, seems finally unwilling to lie again.

He lowered his head, while bestowing delicate kisses upon Du Shanü as if treating a rare treasure, and murmured indistinctly:

"...... Misses you to death."

"Wife Master doesn't know...... Ah Nu misses you to death......"

"Ah Nu spends night after night unable to sleep well; only by sniffing the clothes you left behind can he doze a little as dawn approaches......"

"Afang said, Afang said you don't want Ah Nu anymore."

"Ah Nu doesn't believe it; Ah Nu naturally refuses to believe it."

"Ah Nu tells him, you have Ah Nu in your heart, and by your side you cannot be apart from Ah Nu. Merely delayed a moment on the road, he will surely return to Ah Nu's side......"

"If he does not come back, it's also fine. Ah Nu will die next year and turn into spring breeze, naturally seeking Wife Master, to eternally fade away in your embrace......"

?? This heart wants to decide, yet sees Chinu.

? Decision: 1. water bursting through dikes 2. making up one's mind 3. representing the final decisive battle 4. adverb, certainly 5. execution.

? This chapter, combining the above explanations of the characters, is better savored~