Chapter 263: The Foolish Slave's Self-Talk (Eight)

【Osmanthus River murmurs, flowing through two places.

After hiding in the wild woods for two days, the troops still hadn't seen the An Nan army that would attack, not knowing from which day, time, or place it would come......

Instead, they first waited for a round bright moon.

This night's bright moon linked with the Osmanthus River.

It actually formed a magnificent, mirror-like silver-white river.

I watched for a long time, a long time.

At the end, for some unknown reason, a secret anticipation arose in my heart that I could not bear to let others know——

I hope that she can now see the same bright moon as I do.

I hope that this time I can suffer a crushing defeat and die......

In this way, she will definitely not forget me for the rest of her life.

No matter how she later builds achievements and establishes herself, high in the hall, untouched by wind and snow, with life and death, promises only a thought away, she will not forget me.

Yes.

Yes.

Exactly so.

I have always been a selfish, self-interested person.

I used to think that life should be with life, death with death.

But now thinking about it, why must we share life and death together?

What I want has never been wealth and honor.

What I want has always been my emperor, that across lifetimes and life-and-death, he would never forget me.

Therefore......

I should have died earlier.

As long as I die at the right moment, I need not let her see the day my visage ages, nor naturally face the day when beauty fades and love strays.

I died for her great cause, and then my head was cut off and sent before her; she will surely be furious with thunderous anger.

After the anger subsides, the rest of her life will surge up, and she cannot escape the four words 'Enduring Longing'.

The living cannot compare to the dead.

From now on, as long as Yu Yiai still draws breath, she will ultimately be unable to rival me.

Perhaps afterwards, as written in storybooks, after my death she will frequently seek out men who resemble my appearance to favor.

She is still young; perhaps she will live for several more decades.

Over those decades, countless youths bearing admiring, respectful, submissive gazes will come before her.

Perhaps they will gain favor because their eyebrows and eyes resemble mine, and then ascend to heaven with their chickens and dogs, enjoying boundless wealth and honor......

Perhaps they will also provoke my Majesty by wearing my old clothes over the line.

If there is the slightest difference, the slightest impatience, she will lose interest and shift her gaze to another.

As long as she imagines she can forever remain supreme, enjoying the alluring taste of power, yet holding me in her thoughts amidst endless moonlight......

Then I feel that beneath my white bones, endless flesh and blood can regrow.

There is nothing more enchanting in this world.

There is absolutely nothing more enchanting than seeking the true heart of an emperor.

She always says I cannot distinguish between ruler and subject, husband and wife......

However, however.

Few know that ruler and subject, husband and wife, are essentially the same.

The story's beginning, whether I hate her, resent her, love her, respect her, look up to her......

The story's end should be me exhausting my thoughts, using every despicable means to entice her, to hold her, praying for a shred of pity, longing for her to never forget me in her lifetime.

Only then is it right, only then is it good.

I know I am foolish.

I know I am stupid.

I know that in Buddhism, the character 'chi' among the five poisons symbolizes inability to distinguish right from wrong, obstinate ignorance.

But I do not want to change, and I cannot change.

In this life I have almost nothing, and I cannot keep anything.

But I......

But I just want her.

I only want her.

I want her to be supreme.

I want her to never forget me.

Thus, even if I die instantly, I am willing.

Perhaps due to a change in mind and spirit, once the thought of death arises, it cannot be restrained.

And just as I, under the moonlight, fantasize about choosing a death that will preserve this face, so that before her it will not be too ugly, and may even stir her heartache......

That damned An Nan army actually came to attack.

Truly, I've seen a ghost.

It's truly not that I have a bad temper!

I am thinking about something so important, yet this group of An Nan people are still besieging the city— isn't this just adding chaos for me!

Clearly, the fault lies with them!

The wrong ones are clearly them!

Even if the Wife Master were here, hearing me scold people, she would surely side with me!

Therefore, before my death, I still decided to live a little longer, at least to clear away the obstacles before the Wife Master.

And there is another matter that the Wife Master has also said for sure.

Someone as lowly as me......

Besides being vicious and good at scheming, I have always been willing to risk my life.

When that group of An Nan troops set up siege towers and attacked the city under the cover of night, I did not move.

When that group of An Nan troops, unable to withstand the well-prepared Yongzhou troops, feigned retreat, I did not move.

When that group of An Nan troops directly fired fire arrows into the city, causing a sea of fire, I still did not move.

Even when that ruthless group of An Nan troops captured Zhou Prefecture, and the Yongzhou Prefecture troops fought them to the death, causing corpses to litter the field, I still did not move.

I am waiting, I am waiting.

I have spent my whole life waiting for that destined emperor.

I have spent my whole life waiting for that great wave that could swallow me whole.

As long as it is for my Majesty, I always have full patience.

Therefore, I kept waiting until dawn, until the two sides' forces were reduced to little more than broken troops and shattered armor, before leading the troops forward.

However, however.

Still, it hurts.

Still, it hurts, it hurts.

Just like when I was in the Orphanage that year, holding that chipped porcelain bowl, mixing the bloodiness in my mouth, swallowing the last bite of meat.

Heaven and earth have changed, and the sun and moon have never treated me well.

The commotion of the An Nan army attacking the Zhoufu was too great, too great.

It actually drew troops of unknown origin.

The battle was stalemated and chaotic; no one could tell whether those reinforcements were from the An Nan army or the Zhoufu army, or, like me, others who had discovered the change in Zhoufu and came to reap the benefits.

In short, since the Wife Master wants the Zhoufu, we cannot let them take it away.

When I slit the throat of that masked warrior, that's what I was thinking.

When I chopped off the hand coming at my face, that's what I was thinking as well.

When I pressed the crossbow trigger and pierced the shield of the Dun Cheng troops lunging forward after falling, that's what I was thinking as well.

I was......

When I was pierced in the shoulder by a halberd, I still thought that way.

The smell of blood is strong.

History books describe wars, only saying in which year, which month, which person led troops on campaign, how long the fighting lasted, and how many died.

Thousands?

Tens of thousands?

Hundreds of thousands?

Ink and brush often lie only in a single thought of the writer.

However, the true war is far more brutal than what is described in the history books.

Soldiers came like a flood; on the battlefield, it was impossible to distinguish friend from foe, or even whether to advance or retreat, so they could only blindly swing their swords and roar for self-preservation.

Each person was like a demon crawling out of the underworld, knowing death was certain, yet still able to muster a last shred of strength, using flesh and blood to make up for the difference in military strength.

A volley of ten bolts from the General's Crossbow cannot kill the eleventh person.

So they then sent twenty, thirty.

In the end of this warfare, the ground was littered with corpses, and the whole city was immersed in thick smoke, wailing.

I wanted to raise my hand to wipe my face, only to discover that my body felt incredibly heavy, and as my robes stiffened, they were soaked with surging fresh blood......

I even, I even couldn't tell whether the blood was my own or someone else's.

Indeed, I am tired.

Indeed, I am tired.

Indeed,......

It hurts, it hurts.

I guess, falling here, the Wife Master should not blame me.

So I recounted the losses, then collapsed onto the pile of corpses, preparing to meet my own death......

Of course, I also didn't forget to tell them, before I die, to help tidy up my corpse nicely before sending it back.

However, however.

Even such a small request was not fulfilled.

Someone came up to me and told me two things——

One was that the Prefect had gone missing, and no one could be found in the Zhoufu office or in the private residence.

Perhaps, seeing that the situation was wrong, they fled.

The other was that Afang sent someone through the dangers of war to bring a report by fast horse......

He said, the Wife Master is pregnant. 】

?? What pot matches what lid hahaha