Chapter 22: These People Are All Crazy!

The July sun grew increasingly stifling and oppressive.

【Suzuki Auto Repair Shop】.

Zhang Yunyi, carrying the camera gear, felt he was about to go mad!

In his entire life, he had never seen such a "free" film crew, a freedom that made his whole body tremble!

"Sun Wukong vs. Superman 2" had already been filming for about two days.

During these two days or so...

They filmed a scene on the battlefield!

Wait, a battlefield scene?

Damn it, there was absolutely no plot at all...

It was just Chen Jianfeng, dressed in a Superman costume, and Ding Rong, the stagehand wearing a Sun Wukong mask, engaging in a "great battle"!

Yes!

You heard right!

It was the stagehand!

When filming first started, the stagehand Ding Rong was inexplicably invited to the scene, then put on a mask, and even without having seen what the script was, he went on set to film.

Waving the prop Golden Cudgel wildly and without any method, he fought Chen Jianfeng until the sky and earth were in chaos, to the point where even they themselves didn't know what they were fighting...

Storyboards?

Absolutely none!

Action choreography?

All relied on free improvisation, free imagination!

Action director? Absolutely none; everyone had to direct themselves, doing whatever got them most excited!

Watching a huge pile of fight footage completely devoid of plot, the cameraman Zhang Yunyi felt his heart pounding in terror!

Was he sure they were filming a movie, and not just...

Messing around blindly?

Dusk.

Inside the temporary office at the 【Suzuki Auto Repair Shop】.

After finishing the first stage of filming, the cameraman returned to the office and, looking at a pile of fight footage that was utterly unbearable, felt his scalp go numb.

He looked at the director Shen Long...

"Director Shen, is it really okay to film like this?"

Shen Long nodded.

But he made no sound.

Suddenly, the atmosphere in the office became a little oppressive.

Zhang Yunyi lit a cigarette, unable to bear the oppression, and walked out of the room.

When he saw Zhang Yunyi walk out, Shen Long, who had been relatively silent, suddenly stared at the pile of footage on the computer, his face filled with extreme grief.

The door opened, and Zhou Yang walked in.

"President Zhou..."

Shen Long looked around, and seeing that no one was paying attention to him, finally forced his face to speak: "What we filmed today..."

"It's pretty great. By the way, Director Shen, I seem to recall hearing that you are very good at editing, right?"

"Yes, a little bit..."

"Among these hundreds of fight moves, which one do you think is the most majestic and domineering? Edit one out, especially those with close-up shots..."

"President Zhou, don't tell me you want me to pick some suitable moves from these actions and edit them in?"

"Yes!"

"President Zhou, I'll say it straight: we fought on the battlefield all day yesterday, the moves were all a mess, really, they are unbearable to look at..."

"Even among the short ones, there are tall ones, right? Even with the worst moves, you must be able to pick out one or two that are still OK. I think this high-kick move is quite good." Zhou Yang looked at Shen Long.

Shen Long looked at these chaotic moves, his face expressing a complete loss of hope for life: "I... I... I'll try my best..."

"By the way, there's more: the progress is still a bit slow, and moreover, I just thought over the script, and the dialogue design is lacking..." Zhou Yang took out the script and looked at Shen Long.

"Then how should it be designed?" Shen Long looked at Zhou Yang, feeling aggrieved.

"I think, before a character fights, they must shout out the name of the move, for example, Phoenix Kick, Heaven and Earth Overlord Fist! Cosmic Superman Beam, Huaxia Overlord Roar..."

"..."

In the office, silence suddenly fell for a long time.

Shen Long opened his mouth, feeling only a buzzing sound ringing in his skull.

Damn it!

"Shouting when unleashing a move? This, this, this... this is too awkward!"

A sense of suffocation washed over him; Shen Long felt as if his heart was hurting a bit!

But Zhou Yang patted his shoulder, his face perfectly calm: "The louder, the better!"

"Will anyone watch a movie filmed like this? I suspect, except for children under ten, no one will watch..."

"Correct! We are making it for children to watch..."

"???"

"Alright, by the way, for instance, when Superman fires a beam, we design a beam-firing move... When Sun Wukong wants to grow big, just do the 'Heavenly Form, Earthly Manifestation, Invincible Under Heaven'!"

"..."

After hearing this, Shen Long's sphincter involuntarily tightened.

He felt the world spin and the ground whirl!

Oh my god!

What are they trying to do!

It's over, it's over!

This movie is completely doomed!

My career is over too!

Everything is over.

"Also, I have a suggestion!"

"You still have a suggestion?" Shen Long, his face pale, stared pitifully at Zhou Yang.

"The filming progress of the crew is still a bit slow; we need to speed it up even more!"

"Speed it up even more? We're already riding a rocket!" Shen Long was so shocked his soul nearly flew out!

"Riding a rocket isn't enough; we need to surpass the speed of light!"

"..."

Zhou Yang looked into the distance for a long time.

Afterwards, he patted Shen Long's shoulder and silently walked out of the room.

Shen Long felt as if a lifetime had passed...

He felt it!

He felt that either Zhou Yang had gone mad, or he himself had gone mad.

…………………………

Time passed quickly.

A day of filming.

Passed just like that, in pure nonsense.

Everyone in the entire crew felt a little bit stupid...

The key is, they didn't know what they were filming!

It seemed this movie had a plot, and everyone was filming according to the plot, but it also seemed there was no plot at all.

Moreover, the script seemed to have undergone massive revisions again and again!

By the end, the plot in the script could even be described in a single sentence.

That was: 【Superman was swept by a tornado in America to China, encountered a space-time turbulence, and finally descended into the Journey to the West world, where he met Sun Wukong. After fighting in the desert, he encountered an ancient mechanical monster... The ancient mechanical monster triggered another space-time turbulence, causing many modern people to inexplicably travel to the ancient times. To save the world, the two joined hands to resist the ancient mechanical monster. Finally, after paying a heavy price, both sides returned to their own space-time】.

The script was so rotten it was hair-raising!

The movie filming process was hair-raising!

The plot had even reached a state of madness!

It's over, it's over!

If this thing is released, their lives are over forever.

"Are we really filming a movie? These lines are too awkward; I feel like I'm about to die of social embarrassment..."

Night fell.

Chen Jianfeng looked at the brand new lines, his body shaking violently, staring at Shen Long as if he had seen a ghost.

Shen Long silently lit a cigarette, feeling utterly hopeless: "It's what President Zhou requires..."

"Are we filming this for children?"

"Yes..."

"But..."

"Following President Zhou, you still have a meal to eat; otherwise, do you want to go outside and beg for food?"

Shen Long remained silent for a long time, and finally spoke these words.

Chen Jianfeng's spirit perked up, he looked at the script again and again, and finally nodded in despair, as if accepting his fate: "Alright! I understand! I'll continue practicing those awkward lines..."

Just at that moment...

Zhou Yang, covered in dust from his journey, walked into the office, looking at the hopeless Chen Jianfeng and the silently smoking Shen Long.

"Director Shen, regarding the action in the desert, you saw which few moves were still decent, right?"

Shen Long opened his mouth, and finally turned on the computer to show Zhou Yang a few sets of moves that were barely passable: "Just these few sets, they look OK... but can these moves support a desert battle? It's not even a minute long!"

"So many moves, it's enough... enough to edit into three minutes!"

"???"

Seeing Zhou Yang's confident expression, Shen Long shivered violently: "President Zhou, don't tell me we're going to edit these moves using slow motion at three times the speed..."

Zhou Yang pushed his glasses up, smiling at Shen Long: "I suddenly feel that this one minute of action can be edited into five minutes!"

"What!"

"Slow these moves down three times, continuously edit the coolest ones, repeat the playback, and also, this move can be both slowed down and continuously edited. Look at the scene where Superman is kicked away; we can play it three times. Kicked away three times, what visual impact, don't you think? No, five minutes might still be conservative; seven minutes, I think is very reasonable..."

"..."

The cigarette butt in Shen Long's hand fell to the ground.

He stared at the footage in the computer as if he had seen a ghost.

Then, he looked at Zhou Yang again...

Finally...

My mindset has collapsed!