[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"origin-i-only-know-how-to-ride-the-trend":3,"chapter-i-only-know-how-to-ride-the-trend-i-only-know-how-to-ride-the-trend-chapter-33":6},{"origin":4,"title":5},"chinese","I Only Know How to Ride the Trend!",{"chapter":7,"nextChapterSlug":19,"prevChapterSlug":20,"totalChapters":21,"novelImage":22},{"id":8,"novel_id":9,"title":10,"slug":11,"index":12,"content":13,"wordcount":14,"created_at":15,"updated_at":15,"volume":16,"translator":17,"content_hash":18},2343514,4580,"Chapter 33: Midnight B-Movie!","i-only-know-how-to-ride-the-trend-chapter-33",33,"\u003Cp>Fuck your dad!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Is this movie really trying to be more outrageous than it already is!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Fuck!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>You’re really doing this again!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The screening room was stiflingly hot.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>As one by one, curses-spitting viewers rose and left, the air gradually grew less suffocating.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The old wall-mounted electric fan whirred loudly…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>On screen, the shit-tier “masterpiece” Sun Wukong vs Superman 2 finally, amid the gaze of countless viewers, reached its conclusion.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>On screen, Sun Wukong and Chinese Superman Yan Shuangying fought the Magoma alien for ages, mindlessly repeating the same motions countless times…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Just when all the viewers, numbed and shell-shocked, thought this pile of cinematic shit could no longer torment them…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The two protagonists suddenly lost to the boss, Magoma alien.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Yes, without warning, their power collapsed inexplicably—and then the Magoma alien suddenly transformed!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then, amid the chaos of spacetime, it transformed into a 1997-style boxy van, transported straight into the [Si Ling Auto Repair Shop]!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>When they saw that van…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Li Dongqiang, holding his camera, shuddered violently, his mind going blank—he stared, dumbfounded, at the boxy van right before him!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Such a mind-blowing scene!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>After watching movies for so many years…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Fuck, this was the first time he’d ever seen it!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Even more insane was yet to come!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“No good! The Magoma alien has taken control of our [Si Ling Auto Repair Shop]’s Dr. Li Gang, helping it upgrade and repair!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“No good!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Dr. Li Gang’s repair skills are the best in the universe—we can’t let it keep repairing! If it keeps going, this upgrade might never end!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Dr. Li Gang, snap out of it! Don’t let it control you!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Li Dongqiang stared, stunned, as a mechanic suddenly appeared inside the [Si Ling Auto Repair Shop], then climbed into the van!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Finally, the repetitive editing stopped!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>What did he see?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He saw the repaired van suddenly charging straight at Chinese Superman Yan Shuangying!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Yes!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>You didn’t imagine it!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Chinese Superman Yan Shuangying—who could fly through the sky, swim underground, and shrug off fighter jet bullets—was now being chased in panic by a van, his desperation heartbreaking!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And the grotesque, repetitive editing returned…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Li Dongqiang carefully counted the number of times Yan Shuangying was thrown flying!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Motherfucker!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>This broke the record!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>A close-up of him being thrown flew repeated eight times; the falling shot repeated eight times too…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But that wasn’t the worst part!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The real question was: where was Sun Wukong, the one with the power to change his form at will, the one who could transform into seventy-two different beings? Hadn’t he been matching Yan Shuangying blow for blow just moments ago?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Where had he gone?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Just as Li Dongqiang was bewildered…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The scene suddenly cut!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It switched to a close-up of [A Li Fast Food], where, in horror, they watched Sun Wukong wolfing down fast food from [A Li Fast Food]!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Yes!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>You didn’t imagine it—while Chinese Superman struggled to save the world, Sun Wukong was slurping down fast food over there!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And they lingered on his eating for a full ten seconds…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“World energy insufficient! Without energy, Chinese Superman can’t defeat the Magoma alien—the world will be destroyed!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Great Sage, you must use your divine powers to sustain the world’s energy!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Yes, Great Sage, you’re the bridge between modern and ancient times—your body is the key!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Just devour energy with all your might!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Then the world will be saved!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>After this painfully forced explanation, Li Dongqiang nearly fainted—fuck, could your plot be any more contrived?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The most insane part was!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>To pad runtime and stretch the final ten minutes of world-saving time, the movie repeated Sun Wukong’s chopstick-clutching motion—three times!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The chicken-leg-eating motion, four times; the spilled food, the ecstatic expression—though not repeated, it was given an absurdly long close-up!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Fuck!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Li Dongqiang clenched his fists, murderous intent rising!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Fuck, watching Sun Wukong eat so deliciously, Li Dongqiang’s stomach growled!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Shit!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Wait!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Am I really worrying about being hungry right now?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>About eight minutes remained until the movie ended.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>That damn scene finally cut back!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Back to the [Si Ling Auto Repair Shop]…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then, the background music suddenly turned mournful, like funeral dirge.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Chinese Superman kept getting hit by the van, kept getting up, then got knocked down again…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>As it kept hitting…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Suddenly, it stopped!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Yes, without reason, without warning, the van just… stopped.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Don’t give up!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Save the Earth!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Save the world!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Save all the children’s smiles!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Cosmic Light!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>When five minutes remained, Chinese Superman Yan Shuangying suddenly stood up, then, after a flash of white light, awkwardly struck an excruciating pose, shouted a line of dialogue, and the entire tone turned painfully heroic.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>What did Li Dongqiang see?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He saw this broke-ass production crew!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>With no money for special effects, they’d crudely created a “light” using camera lighting, a plastic film, and mirrors!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Worse still—the editing was so exaggerated, if you looked closely, you could actually see someone pulling the plastic film in the shot…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then, suddenly, the sound of firecrackers exploded around the van…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The movie screen suddenly went dark.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>After lingering in this dimness for about ten seconds…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>A line of text suddenly appeared…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Chinese Superman saved the Earth once again!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>………………………………\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>???\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Inside the screening room.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>As the lights suddenly turned on…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The curses and shouts fell abruptly silent.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Only a third of the audience remained—they stared blankly at the END text on the big screen…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then, they looked down, confused, at their handwritten tickets…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Almost everyone’s mind went briefly blank!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Where am I?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>What did I just watch?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Why am I here?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>This is… Super Man 2…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>This…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>What the hell did I spend five yuan on?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>At that moment…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>A few awkward claps came from nearby.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>In their daze, everyone glanced toward the clapping—and saw a few young men in the farthest corner, faces flushed, forcing themselves to clap.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Li Dongqiang flinched slightly!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He instinctively looked in that direction.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>If he wasn’t mistaken, these young men were the film’s creative team…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Looking at their utterly lifeless expressions, how could Li Dongqiang not feel they were being forced?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>At that moment…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Everyone saw a young man in a suit, wearing gold-rimmed glasses, silently walk onto the stage.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He looked at everyone!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Thank you for your wave of applause—our devoted fans who traveled so far are truly passionate!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“No more clapping, thank you, thank you!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Wave of applause?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Fuck!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Can you at least have some shame?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Are you blind?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Aside from yourselves clapping, who else is clapping?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Everyone looks like they just ate shit, okay?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Li Dongqiang saw Zhou Yang wave his hand with an expectant expression—and felt his mind was spiritually polluted!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“I also want to thank the children for their support!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Now, all parents with children, please go collect our free lollipops…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“All other friends, please stay—there’s a surprise!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>As each child spotted the lollipops and excitedly walked toward them, the theater emptied of children.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Zhou Yang adjusted his glasses, looked at each person, and lowered his voice.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then he had the staff approach every audience member and secretly reveal a stack of movie tickets.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“I’ve been thinking deeply downstairs, and discussed at length with my team!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“I’ve made a difficult, ancestral-defying decision…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Next month…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Our theater will screen a private film—so intense it’ll excite men and make women blush!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Showtime: August 2nd, midnight…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Starring a beautiful, pure college girl…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Ticket price: only twenty yuan…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“…”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>???\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The male audience members, still reeling from the awful film, froze slightly!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Then they lowered their heads…\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>They stiffened in shock!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>What did they see?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>On the handwritten tickets, clearly written: “Lin Daiyu Fights Lu Zhishen”!\u003C\u002Fp>",1281,"2026-06-20T23:43:44.409Z",1,"Qwen3-Next 80B","3658a62036e2fd63db436c52e163b871a6d99927421333d9cc429eb8a2c1db29","i-only-know-how-to-ride-the-trend-chapter-34","i-only-know-how-to-ride-the-trend-chapter-32",101,"https:\u002F\u002Fnovelzhen.com\u002Fimages\u002Fcovers\u002Fi-only-know-how-to-ride-the-trend-cover.jpg"]