Chapter 28: 028: A Transmigrator's Signature Skill: Storytelling

Wei Jianxiong had already taken care of all the procedures for entering Hanzhu Academy; once you got your wooden badge (student ID), you could get meals at the dining hall.

Generally speaking, old-style private schools had no dining halls, because everyone lived very close by. Only academies provided room and board — since academies were a higher level, and the famous ones could even attract students from other provinces.

Hanzhu Mountain was interesting in this regard: it started out as just a private school and gradually expanded into an academy.

Take the Fei clan of Ehu, for example — coming by boat from Ehu Town was already quite far, and then you had to disembark and walk several more li. How could they manage without building a dining hall?

Zhao Han arrived at the dining hall and found he didn't need to serve himself; servants were already bringing the dishes to the tables.

Five or six children sat around each table, with meat, vegetables, and soup.

Aside from day students and those who brought their own food, there weren't many students in the dining hall — including their study attendants, only twenty or thirty people in all.

The private school teachers also sat at their own table.

Zhao Han took his bowl to go get rice, but Fei Ruhe sat still — Fei Chun would bring his for him.

Once seated, Zhao Han was about to start eating, but he picked up his chopsticks and put them down again, because no one else had moved their chopsticks yet.

At the teachers' table.

A young assistant teacher raised his voice and called out: "Students, recite the poem!"

At once, the clear sound of recitation filled the dining hall: "At noon they hoe the weeds, / Sweat dripping to the soil below. / Who knows that every grain on the plate / Is won through bitter toil."

Everyone was reciting, including Fei Ruhe — a complete change from his unruly behavior in the classroom.

When the recitation ended, the young assistant teacher said respectfully: "Gentlemen teachers, please take up your chopsticks!"

The senior teacher picked up his chopsticks — that was the signal — and all the students picked up theirs as well. Fei Ruhe simply buried his head and wolfed down his food.

Seeing this, Zhao Han couldn't help but smile; the dining hall actually had more discipline than the classroom.

Zhao Han had only taken a few mouthfuls when Fei Ruhe had already finished an entire bowl. Fei Chun dashed off to get his young master a refill.

"Burp!"

After four bowls in a row, Fei Ruhe clutched his belly and belched: "Full. Satisfying."

Another chowhound — this guy's appetite was truly enormous.

Zhao Han also ate two bowls, then went back to the dormitory with Fei Ruhe, stopping along the way with his badge to collect bedding.

Fei Chun dragged several weapons out from under the bed.

Fei Ruhe said: "Pick one for yourself."

There was a spear, a saber, a sword, a staff... all unsharpened, meant specifically for daily training.

Fei Ruhe took the saber, Fei Chun took the staff, and Zhao Han, of course, chose the spear.

Including the lunch break, they had two hours to rest at midday. The three of them headed together to the bamboo grove behind the mountain.

Fei Ruhe swung his saber and started right in — he didn't practice any martial arts routines, only simple moves: chopping, hacking, sweeping, intercepting, thrusting, lifting, hooking, and the like.

Fei Chun, by contrast, was clearly all show — the fellow wasn't willing to endure hardship and had been practicing staff-fighting routines all along.

After flailing about for a while, Fei Ruhe sheathed his saber, panting. Seeing that Zhao Han was just thrusting over and over, he couldn't help asking: "Uncle Wei taught you?"

"How does the young master know?" Zhao Han asked in return.

Fei Ruhe laughed. "Back when I asked him to teach me saber technique, he only taught me one move — the straight downward chop — and said I'd get the next move once I'd mastered that one."

Curious, Zhao Han asked: "Then who is the young master's martial arts teacher?"

"Fourth Uncle, of course," Fei Ruhe said, then added a warning: "Don't tell my father. He doesn't know Fourth Uncle teaches me martial arts."

"So that's how it is." Zhao Han couldn't help growing curious about that Fourth Uncle.

Up to now, the fourth young master of the Ehu Fei clan had still never shown his face; word was he had gone traveling to Nanchang.

Fei Ruhe thrust his saber into the ground and took the chance to rest. "Do you know which Fei clan ancestor I admire most?"

Zhao Han answered: "It must be Lord Ehu — Fei Hong."

Fei Hong was the second jinshi of the Yanshan Fei clan: first in the child-student examination at thirteen, first in the provincial examination at sixteen, and at twenty he took the Zhuangyuan — the youngest Zhuangyuan in the Ming dynasty's several hundred years.

"No, no," Fei Ruhe laughed. "The one I admire most is Lord Tangqu — Fei Yaonian!"

Fei Yaonian was the last renowned official of the Yanshan Fei clan. Brilliant from childhood, at age ten he suddenly ran off to study martial arts under his seventh uncle, becoming expert in both horsemanship and archery and thoroughly versed in military strategy. This delayed his studies, so his elders confined him to the academy; he studied furiously for two years, finally earned his certified student credential at sixteen, and passed the metropolitan graduate examination at twenty-four.

When this gentleman supervised the construction of the Longevity Bridge inside the imperial palace, his meticulous budgeting saved a million taels of silver — for which powerful interests impeached him and sent him to the provinces as a Garrison Commander. In Fujian, he punished grain merchants and stabilized prices, offending his superiors and the powerful local clans, and was forced into a transfer to the Suzhou Military Circuit. The Suzhou magnates also suffered considerably at his hands, which got him promoted and transferred yet again. After that, he was mostly shuffled sideways; despite outstanding achievements, his promotions were exceedingly slow, and he only made it as far as Provincial Administration Commissioner of the Left in Guangdong... He was skilled in everything — governing and people's welfare, supervising construction projects, drilling troops and fighting battles — and in the end was tossed to Nanjing to eat idle meals, which so infuriated Fei Yaonian that he resigned and went home.

Fei Ruhe raised his great saber high and declared with swaggering bravado: "A true man, if he cannot bring peace to the realm and secure the state, should be a knight-errant who bestrides a region!"

A knight-errant bestriding a region — robbing the rich to aid the poor?

The richest family around here is the Fei clan. You've got guts — go rob your own family first, then we'll talk.

Fei Ruhe suddenly asked: "Ever read Water Margin?"

Zhao Han nodded. "I have."

Fei Ruhe asked again: "Which hero do you like best?"

Zhao Han thought for a moment. "Lu Zhishen."

Fei Ruhe patted his belly. "I like Lu Junyi best. From now on, I'll be Lu Junyi, and you can be Yan Qing!"

Fei Chun couldn't help but cut in: "Young master, you said before that I could be Yan Qing."

Fei Ruhe said dismissively: "Your martial arts are no good — you always slack off during daily drills."

Fei Chun opened his mouth but held back, looking thoroughly wronged, like a spurned lover abandoned by her sweetheart.

Zhao Han pointed out: "Lu Junyi didn't meet a good end — he was poisoned to death by treacherous ministers."

"That's because Song Jiang was utterly contemptible," Fei Ruhe said indignantly. "If I were Lu Junyi, I'd have killed Song Jiang and taken the top seat at Liangshan myself!"

Zhao Han shut his mouth — there were too many flaws to even begin pointing out.

Fei Ruhe went on: "That scoundrel Song Jiang is no hero, and Li Kui, who does his bidding, is no hero either. That mother-raping wretch Li Kui even killed innocent children — when I read Water Margin, I was so furious I tore the book apart!"

Well now — looks like his moral compass is pretty sound after all.

A boy shouldn't read Water Margin; it's too easy to go astray. Zhao Han felt he ought to offer some guidance, so he said: "What's so great about Water Margin? Let me tell the young master a far more exciting story."

Fei Ruhe asked, puzzled: "There's a story even more exciting than Water Margin?"

"Of course," Zhao Han launched right in. "Now, in the Five Dynasties period, there was an old man gathering herbs on Mount Zhongnan. One day, while he was picking herbs in the mountains, the peaks suddenly shook, and the old man tumbled into a cave on a cliff face. He rescued a pangolin, which told him a world-shaking secret. It turned out that the pangolin had accidentally burrowed through a demon-suppressing cavern, letting two thousand-year fiends escape…"

Come on, they're just kids — why have them read Water Margin?

Calabash Brothers is far more fitting!

The ancients had never heard anything like this. Fei Ruhe and Fei Chun were quickly hooked.

"Bang!"

Zhao Han spoke with spittle flying: "The calabash fell to the ground, and with a great boom, a boy burst forth from it. On his topknot he wore a calabash, his whole body was clad in fiery red, and his skirt was a single calabash leaf. This boy was none other than the eldest of the seven calabash brothers. He possessed boundless strength and an innate divine power — he could grow as huge as a mountain and crush a fiend with a single stomp…"

Fei Ruhe and Fei Chun listened, utterly dumbstruck, itching to rush home and plant calabashes that very instant.

"Now, the second brother also had an innate divine power. His keen eyes could see a thousand li, his ears could hear in all eight directions — truly the clairvoyant and clairaudient… The third brother had a bronze head and iron arms; no blade or spear could pierce him…"

"All right, that's all for today. If you want to know what happens next, tune in for the next installment!"

Fei Ruhe grew frantic at once: "No, don't stop — keep going! Did the third brother rescue his eldest and second brothers or not?"

Fei Chun chimed in too: "Yes, Brother, please go on. My heart feels like a cat's clawing at it."

Zhao Han smiled smugly. "That's all I'm telling today. Don't let it get in the way of your studies and martial practice."

Fei Ruhe scolded Fei Chun: "When you listen to a storyteller, you have to give a reward. Hurry up and reward him, so he'll tell another part."

Fei Chun hastily fished out a handful of copper coins and said ingratiatingly, "Brother, please go on."

Zhao Han took the copper coins, then said indignantly, "We are all brothers here, and you insult me with this filthy lucre? Now I absolutely refuse to go on!"

Fei Chun was speechless, thinking: Well, you could at least give me my money back.

Fei Ruhe had no choice but to ask, "Good brother, what will it take for you to tell another part?"

Zhao Han raised his head, puffed out his chest, and clasped his hands behind his back. "For the young master's sake, I shall finish the third brother's story today. But if you want to hear what comes after, no more causing trouble in class, and your schoolwork must improve."

"Fine, I won't cause trouble. Just hurry up and tell about the third brother," Fei Ruhe said quickly.

"Ahem," Zhao Han cleared his throat. "Now, the third brother had a bronze head and iron arms; no blade or spear could pierce him. He fought his way into the fiends' cave, and ordinary swords could not scratch him in the slightest. A bat-fiend flew at him and hurled a flying trident with all its might. The third brother neither dodged nor flinched. The trident struck him, and its tip, forged of fine steel, bent on impact and was rendered useless. Then a centipede-fiend came at him wielding an axe — clang, clang, clang — and the axe blade was chipped in several places… If you want to know what happens next, tune in for the next installment!"

Fei Ruhe's heart itched unbearably. "Good brother, please, just one more part. It's time for the fourth brother to appear, isn't it? What divine power does the fourth brother have?"

Zhao Han picked up his spear and began practicing thrusts, laughing. "Martial practice!"

Fei Ruhe had no choice but to raise his saber and train. As he trained, his mind grew restless and agitated, and he said to Fei Chun, "Go find some calabash seeds. This young master wants to plant calabashes."

Fei Chun groaned in dismay. "Young master, where am I supposed to find calabash seeds?"

Fei Ruhe immediately scolded him: "You can't even handle a simple thing like this? How about you be the young master instead?"

Fei Chun scurried out of the bamboo grove and went off searching the whole world for calabash seeds.

(End of chapter)