Chapter 40: Old Flame

Before the chaste-widow arch was erected, Madam Chen and Fei Yuanjian were both staying temporarily at the academy.

As for the family residence, Fei Yuanlu had already sent men to seal the gates.

After many days of wild speculation, Fei Yuanjian finally sought out Madam Chen and could not help asking, "Are you truly my birth mother?"

Madam Chen held her prayer beads in hand and answered ambiguously, "Silly child, whether I am or not, from now on it can only be so. Neither of us, mother and son, has any other choice."

Fei Yuanjian mulled it over, utterly unable to make sense of it, and asked from another angle, "Then… then my former birth mother, was she truly my birth mother?"

"She died for you. Whether she was or not, you must acknowledge her in your heart. Repay kindness with gratitude — do you understand this principle?" Madam Chen still refused to speak plainly.

Fei Yuanjian was nearly driven mad and simply raised the crucial question: "Then who exactly is my birth father?"

Madam Chen rose and walked over, gently stroked the top of his head, and said in a low voice, "Remember, who your birth father is does not matter. What matters is that, from beginning to end, you can only have that one father. If someone comes looking for you in the future, you must not acknowledge him — just drive him away."

Fei Yuanjian's face instantly went deathly pale. This he could finally understand: he was indeed a bastard!

No wonder the last words his mother left behind held no resentment toward the rumormongers, only saying she had been hounded to death by the clan — the rumormongers had, by sheer chance, struck the truth.

Madam Chen paced back to her seat, fiddling with her prayer beads, and said softly, "Sit down and talk."

Fei Yuanjian obediently sat, observing this junior mother closely for the first time.

Madam Chen was only in her thirties. Years spent before the dim lamp and the Buddha's image had left her skin somewhat pale. She wore no rouge or powder, not even any ornaments, yet her oval face still held a bewitching charm, and her pair of jet-black pupils seemed able to see into a person's heart.

Madam Chen's gaze swept over, and Fei Yuanjian hurriedly lowered his head, not daring to meet her eyes, a measure of awe rising in his heart.

Madam Chen sighed and said, "I know your heart resists this, but before your mother died, she entrusted you to me and even made you kneel and acknowledge me as your birth mother. You and I are one. From now on, I am your loving mother."

"Mother."

Fei Yuanjian spoke the word with some awkwardness.

Madam Chen felt a surge of comfort and revealed a kind, loving smile, admonishing him, "From this day forward, you must no longer act willfully and recklessly."

"Your child understands." Having been through so much, even if Fei Yuanjian had not matured, he knew he could no longer throw his weight around.

Madam Chen carefully analyzed the situation for Fei Yuanjian: "Of the inheritance your mother left behind, the most precious part is not those family properties, but that cold, unfeeling chaste-widow arch. As long as the arch stands, no one will dare touch you, an orphaned boy."

Fei Yuanjian fell silent, then was suddenly moved to the point of tears.

Madam Chen continued, "Fei Yuanlu, the head of the Hanzhu Academy, has gained enormous benefit from this affair — his prestige even surpasses the clan head's. He, too, must protect you. You should rely heavily on him, do you understand?"

Fei Yuanjian listened earnestly and nodded repeatedly.

Madam Chen spoke again, "Whether it is the chaste-widow arch or Fei Yuanlu, both can only protect you for a time. You must strive to rise above others, do you understand?"

"But your child truly has no talent for study," Fei Yuanjian said in distress.

"At the very least, you must pass the xiucai examination," Madam Chen said. "Only with a degree can you spend money to purchase a tribute student title. Even if it bankrupts the family, you must buy a minor official post. If you stay cooped up in Yanshan, you will only grow mold here. One way or another, you must leap out."

Fei Yuanjian looked thoughtful. He truly did not wish to remain in Yanshan — too many people here pointed fingers behind his back.

Madam Chen instructed, "That schoolboy you frightened — I hear he has been improving lately. Go and apologize to him in person."

"Why should I apologize to him?" Fei Yuanjian's old habits resurfaced; that domineering temper of his was still there.

Madam Chen taught him, "Your own studies are poor, and the other clansmen do not keep close to you. Who will help you in the future? You were rather unruly before, and you carry those unbearable rumors — you must diligently cultivate your virtue. Whether you do it for others to see, or truly turn over a new leaf, you must show filial respect to elders, befriend your clansmen, unite with your schoolmates, and treat your neighbors generously. In this way, you will be a man of virtue and filial piety. Even if someone wants to seize your family property, they will at least have to fear public opinion. If you remain as you were before, I fear that if your property were taken, others would even applaud."

These words were laid out with utter clarity. Combined with his recent experiences, Fei Yuanjian felt sincere admiration and said, "Mother's teaching is correct. Your child will certainly remember it firmly."

Madam Chen smiled. "I hear that schoolboy is quite intelligent. You should get closer to him. Not just him — any promising person your age, you should befriend widely. If you make peace with that schoolboy, you will let others know that you, Fei Yuanjian, have already turned over a new leaf. Go quickly!"

"I will heed Mother's words. Your child takes his leave." Fei Yuanjian departed swiftly.

He did, in truth, want to make friends — after all, he was still just a half-grown child.

Not to mention his former hangers-on, even the study attendant who had grown up with him since childhood had fled without a trace along with his family, conveniently making off with much of the household's portable wealth.

He had to make friends, at least to have a companion to chat and play with.

Although he had only been in contact with Madam Chen for a few days, Fei Yuanjian was willing to listen to this junior mother.

"Dong dong dong!"

Shortly after Fei Yuanjian left, someone suddenly knocked at the door.

Madam Chen had only one trusted maidservant, who had been left at home to hold the fort and had not been brought to the Hanzhu Academy.

She went to open the door herself. The moment she saw clearly who it was, she was so startled that she immediately shut it again.

"Miss!"

Wei Jianxiong reached out to block it. He was very strong and forced the door open with sheer strength. "Miss, I am no bandit — why are you so afraid?"

Madam Chen retreated several steps, none of her earlier composure remaining. "Sir, please go back."

Wei Jianxiong, that rough fellow, actually shyly poured out his heart: "Ever since the old master was exiled to the frontier, I searched for you, Miss, for three full years, inquiring all the way from Yangzhou to Yanshan. You refused to see me, refused even to speak with me, so I became a household slave at Goose Lake. For all these dozen-plus years, I have only hoped that each year during the Ullambana Festival, on the pretext of your worshipping Buddha, I might gaze at you from afar a few times…"

"Stop this nonsense, leave at once!" Madam Chen was flustered and distraught.

Wei Jianxiong continued, "I know I am lowly and ask for nothing else. The old master saved my mother and me back then — this life of mine was given by the Chen family…"

"Leave, now!" Madam Chen turned away and growled, her breathing growing rapid.

Wei Jianxiong gritted his teeth and summoned his courage. "Miss, to this day I have never taken a wife, nor have I ever been close to any woman. Every time I accompanied Young Master Fei to the brothel, even when he called women for me, I always preserved my chastity — I never even touched those women's hands…"

"Wretch! Get out!"

Madam Chen finally erupted. Trembling all over, she hurled the prayer beads in her hand at him.

Wei Jianxiong reached out and caught them, tucked the beads into his bosom, carefully keeping them safe, and withdrew from the room, saying, "Miss, if any trouble arises in the future, just send word to me. Even if it costs me my life, I will certainly help. If… if Miss does not wish to remain in Yanshan, I will take you and flee elsewhere. Over the years I have saved some money — we could establish a home and a livelihood…"

"Get out!"

Madam Chen could no longer suppress it and roared furiously.

Wei Jianxiong dared not say more. After closing the door properly, his face flushed red with shame, he ran out of the courtyard.

Madam Chen knelt on the ground, palms pressed together, her chest heaving erratically. She closed her eyes and chanted, "Thus have I heard. At one time the Buddha was in the kingdom of Shravasti, in the Jeta Grove, in the Garden of the Benefactor of Orphans and the Solitary…"

Clearly, this was not the first time the two had met in private.

…

Hysteria, formally known as "dissociative conversion disorder," is triggered by intense psychological shock and resolves on its own within a year in most cases.

In The Scholars, when Fan Jin passed the juren examination and suddenly went mad with joy, a single slap cured him — that, too, was hysteria.

For the first half-month, Xu Ying completely isolated himself.

He would eat if you brought him food, but he wouldn't speak to you, just kept reciting texts without pause — and he even knew to find the latrine on his own.

Once he finished reciting the Analects, he went on to the Great Learning; once he finished the Great Learning, he circled back to recite the Lesser Four Books.

The Lesser Four Books are no simple matter. Though they are primers for childhood education, they can truly be called all-encompassing. Generally, recitation is not required — only understanding and memorization, in order to shape a young student's worldview, outlook on life, and values.

Xu Ying was actually able to recite all of these texts in full, from beginning to end, without missing a single word.

He kept reciting all the way to the Five-Character Mirror — a book he didn't own, so he had only memorized a few passages from listening in.

Xu Ying then went to consult Pang Chunlai: "Sir, 'serpent-bodied and ox-headed, succeeding generations without literary refinement' — what are the lines that follow?"

Pang Chunlai stared blankly for a moment, then was overjoyed: "Your hysteria has cleared up?"

Xu Ying froze too, eyes wide, stammering: "I... I..."

"It's good that it's cleared up, good that it's cleared up. Don't dwell on it." Pang Chunlai hurried to soothe him.

That evening.

Pang Chunlai was giving extra tutoring, teaching Zhao Han, Fei Ruhe, and Xu Ying arithmetic, while Fei Chun quietly dozed off to one side.

Fei Yuanjian suddenly walked in and bowed to Pang Chunlai with clasped hands: "Sir, this disciple was formerly obstinate and unruly, disrupting the classroom lectures. I beg your forgiveness."

Pang Chunlai, having done something wrong himself, could not help feeling guilty and suspicious; he merely nodded and said: "To recognize one's faults and reform — there is no greater good."

Fei Yuanjian then bowed to Xu Ying: "Fellow student Xu, I should not have bullied you. Please forgive my childish ignorance."

"No need to apologize, no need to apologize. I forgive you." Xu Ying was still haunted by fear; the very sight of Fei Yuanjian terrified him.

Fei Yuanjian then bowed to Zhao Han and Fei Ruhe, and even included Fei Chun: "All of you, fellow students, from now on I will apply myself diligently to study, hoping only to be friends with you all."

Zhao Han instinctively glanced toward Pang Chunlai; master and disciple exchanged a look, neither able to figure out what was going on.

Zhao Han laughed heartily, rose, and took Fei Yuanjian by the hand: "We're all fellow students — why say so much? Quickly, sit down and study arithmetic with us."

After being rejected and mocked by countless people, the fact that Zhao Han was the first to accept him made Fei Yuanjian extremely happy, and his opinion of Zhao Han shot straight up.

Inwardly, however, Zhao Han grew even more wary. To anger a man's father to death and drive his mother to suicide — that was a blood feud as irreconcilable as not sharing the same sky.

And then, a great headache: Pang Chunlai was forcibly dragging him into studying arithmetic, saying it would be useful later for marching troops and fighting battles...

(End of chapter)