Chapter 86: 084: Looting the Customs Post (Bonus Chapter for Boss Penguin)

Fei Yinggong was in a state of drunken fury, yet still retained a sliver of clarity.

Sword in hand, he charged out the door, shouting as he went: "Yan Jiu, call the brothers — follow me to kill the eunuch!"

"Right on!"

The archer who had guided Zhao Han here broke into a delighted grin.

To resist the eunuch's gold, and to have stayed on all this time without leaving — these men were Fei Yinggong's diehard loyalists, no question.

These fellows had no fear of the authorities; they had long wanted to cut the eunuch down with one stroke, then take to the hills and live as bandits, free and easy.

"Father!"

"Father-in-law!"

Daughter and son-in-law were thrown into panic. They wanted to stop him but could not, and could only stand at the doorway fretting helplessly.

The son-in-law was called Yang Fengsu, a child student of this town, too poor to sit for the xiucai exams. His family actually lived outside town; Fei Yinggong had taken him as a live-in son-in-law, and this small courtyard had been purchased with Fei Yinggong's money.

Beyond that, Fei Yinggong had also bought over ten mu of land, using certain methods to force a wealthy household to sell.

"Shall we go take a look?" Zhang Tieniu asked.

"Let's go," Zhao Han said, turning. "Sir, you and Maosheng wait here. Bar the courtyard gate and don't let anyone in."

Pang Chunlai patted the iron sword at his waist. "I'll come along. I've killed Tartars before."

Chen Maosheng was somewhat afraid, but he steeled his nerve, fetched a piece of firewood from the yard to use as a club, and followed Zhao Han out, step for anxious step.

"Ah, forget it, forget it!"

Yang Fengsu hoisted a hoe onto his shoulder and went out the door after them.

Fei Ruhui cried out: "Husband, don't go throw your life away!"

Yang Fengsu stopped and said: "Father-in-law has gone to kill the eunuch. Whether he succeeds or not, do you think we can escape being implicated? Today we fight the eunuch to the death!"

Fei Ruhui stamped her foot in fury, then suddenly turned and went back inside. She felt under the bed and drew out a sword, then dashed off in pursuit of her father.

"Wife, you… you, you, you…" Yang Fengsu was utterly dumbfounded.

Fei Ruhui had already rushed ahead of her husband. She urged him on: "To the death, remember? What are you standing there gawking for?"

Yang Fengsu's mind had turned to paste. He ran after his wife on instinct, eyeing the sword in her hand, and felt that his own hoe-wielding was altogether too amateurish.

Over the fight for the irrigation channel, a brawl had already broken out beyond the town.

Fei Yinggong paid it no heed whatsoever. He made straight for the derelict temple, raising his sword and shouting: "I've had my fill of this dogshit treatment! Today I'm going to kill the eunuch — do you dare come with me?"

"We're with you, we're with you!"

The archers lying on the ground sunning themselves were instantly roused to high spirits, and one after another they ducked into the temple to find their weapons.

Their official post was "archer," yet they did not possess a single bow — all they had were swords, blades, and staves.

"Kill… Ah, damn!"

Fei Yinggong had broken into a jog ahead of the others, when his foot suddenly slipped off a paddy ridge and he tumbled headlong into the flooded field.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Fourth Master's drunk — he's just sobering himself up."

"That was a fine tumble, Fourth Master! Get up and do it again!"

"Good show — here's a reward!"

"…"

The six archers were completely undisciplined. Seeing Fei Yinggong fall, none moved to help him up; instead they roared with laughter and enjoyed the spectacle.

Even the black giant stood off to the side, scratching his head and grinning foolishly.

These fellows were desperadoes who had rampaged across the three provinces of Fujian, Jiangxi, and Guangdong. They owned no property, took no wives, killed and plundered, stopped at no evil, drank today's wine today and never gave a thought to what came after.

Fei Yinggong scrambled up in a sorry state, half his body caked in mud. He turned to the archers and said: "You dog-fucked bastards, no more laughing — watch me cut that eunuch down with my own hands today!"

Counting the black brother, there were eight men in all.

Swords and blades in hand, they ignored the water fight outside town and headed straight for the Patrol Office compound… which should now be called the Tax Eunuch Office.

Yang Fengsu and Fei Ruhui, husband and wife, joined them along the way.

Fei Ruhui said: "Father, I'm coming with you to kill the villains."

"What nonsense is this? Get back home!" Fei Yinggong barked.

"It's not like I've never killed anyone before," Fei Ruhui said.

Yang Fengsu was horrified to hear this — his own wedded wife was a murderer.

Fei Ruhui suddenly turned her head and pointed at her husband. "Don't you dare hold it against me!"

"I won't, I won't," Yang Fengsu hastily assured her.

Zhao Han blocked their path, clasped his fist in salute, and asked: "Fourth Uncle, need a hand?"

"No need," Fei Yinggong said. "Move aside, don't block the way."

Zhao Han said: "You go to the Patrol Office compound. I'll take my men to the customs post. How about we split the silver we seize fifty-fifty?"

"No deal!"

One archer immediately objected: "Counting Sister Fei and her man, we've got ten on our side. You've only got four over there, and one of them's a decrepit old man. Even if you take the customs post, we split the money by headcount."

Pang Chunlai drew his iron sword and said coldly: "This old man has killed Tartars in Liaodong — real Tartars. Do you dare claim the same?"

"So you're a veteran hero — then you count as two," the archer Yan Jiu said at once.

Zhao Han smiled and asked: "I've slain corrupt officials in a rage and burned down the Yanshan County yamen — how many heads do I count for?"

The archers were greatly astonished. Seasoned as they were in the trade, none of them had ever actually burned a county yamen. At that moment, they wished they could sit down and drink on the spot, trading notes with Zhao Han on the finer points of torching a county yamen.

When the court does not treat the common people as human, there will naturally be those who do not treat the court as worth a damn.

During the Jiajing reign, the daxing gangs flourished along the coast, all of them transformed from anti-wokou volunteer militias. Once the wokou retreated, they found no work, so they simply banded together in small groups and formed brotherhoods.

The court dispatched Weng Dali as Governor of the Southern Metropolitan Region, with the primary task of suppressing the daxing gangs.

No sooner had Weng Dali arrived than the strike gangs ambushed him, beat him savagely, and swaggered off.

Weng Dali was beside himself with rage and immediately ordered the arrest of the strike-gang members. Those thugs stormed the jail, freed their accomplices, torched the Governor's residence, destroyed the Governor's letter of appointment, and very nearly cut Governor Weng Dali down.

This affair took place in the thirty-eighth year of Jiajing — back when the Great Ming could still be saved.

The Great Ming of today is in even greater chaos!

Zhao Han and Pang Chunlai recounted their own glorious exploits and instantly won the recognition of these desperate men, who agreed to split the tax-post silver fifty-fifty.

Zhang Tieniu, a pair of axes in hand, sprinted along with the group, acutely aware of how pathetically weak he was.

It seemed that sneaking into a camp to take heads at night was no great skill after all.

Afraid Zhao Han might not manage, Fei Yinggong assigned the tasks: "Yan Jiu, Zheng Er, Tie Nu, you go with them to the tax post. Remember — seize a good boat, load all the silver and coin aboard, and wait until I've killed the eunuch, then we head into the hills."

Seven men to each group; they split up and moved out.

Zhao Han led his men toward the tax post by the river. Still twenty-odd paces away, he called out loudly: "Brothers of the tax post, we've come to join up with the Tax Commissioner."

Yan Jiu caught on at once and shouted along: "Brother Fu, it's me, Yan Jiu. I've come to my senses — I'd rather throw in with you lads. Staying at the Patrol Office, all a man can fucking drink is the wind."

The soldiers guarding the tax post let down their guard. That Brother Fu laughed: "Heh-heh, you think just coming to your senses gets you in? That depends on whether His Excellency the Palace Attendant says yes."

Yan Jiu pulled out some silver and said, "Isn't that why I've come looking for you, Brother Fu? Put in a few good words for us."

The two sides drew closer and closer. Brother Fu, catching sight of the silver, grinned all the wider.

"Kill!"

Zhao Han thrust his spear and skewered one guard-soldier, then swept it sideways and smashed down the man beside him, before charging straight at a third.

At the same moment, Yan Jiu swung his blade fiercely and cut down Brother Fu, whose hand was still stretched out for the silver.

The black fellow Tie Nu, gripping a long, thick wooden club, rampaged through, smashing anyone in sight.

Zhang Tieniu, axes in hand, charged furiously — but could not get his hands on a single foe. Every guard-soldier blocking the way ahead was either speared dead by Zhao Han or clubbed down by Tie Nu.

At last, he spotted one who had been knocked flat but was still trying to scramble up.

"You — don't you run!"

Zhang Tieniu rushed over at once. Before the man could steady himself, he brought an axe chopping down.

He had wised up now and simply stuck right behind Tie Nu. The moment Tie Nu clubbed someone down, he dashed in to finish them off, hacking several dead in the blink of an eye.

The tax-post soldiers had grown so accustomed to throwing their weight around that they never imagined anyone would dare rebel. Now they were caught utterly off guard and slaughtered.

Of the twenty-odd soldiers, many had no time even to draw their weapons before they were cut down in confusion. The rest, seeing the tide turn, turned tail and fled at once — saving their own hides came first.

The remaining tax clerks, none of them armed, all scrambled to grease their heels. Some simply jumped straight into the river and swam away.

Over at the Patrol Office compound.

Fei Yinggong did not opt for a frontal assault. Instead, he circled around to the side wall at the rear courtyard of the office.

He had lived here for nearly two years; it was like coming back to his own home. His son-in-law Yang Fengsu's hoe finally proved useful — propped upside down against the wall, it made a perfect ladder for scaling it.

One by one they clambered over the wall; even Yang Fengsu was shoved up onto the top.

Fei Yinggong led the charge straight into the rear hall. The moment anyone barred his way, he raised his sword and bellowed: "Fei the Fourth is here! He who blocks me dies!"

One stroke cut a man down, and the rest fell back in retreat.

Some even dropped to their knees and kowtowed: "Fourth Master, spare us!"

Another shouted: "Fourth Master, the eunuch isn't in the rear hall — he's in his bedchamber taking an afternoon nap!"

Many of these bastards were old acquaintances of Fei Yinggong's. They had even marched together to Beijing to serve the throne, and once, a few hundred of them had raided a White Lotus sect camp of over ten thousand by night.

The moment Fei Yinggong appeared with sword in hand, his old renown asserted itself, and his former underlings switched sides one after another.

The crowd charged toward the bedchamber. The eunuch had long since heard the commotion and was fleeing with his trusted henchmen, lugging the silver.

"You gelded cur — today I'll kill you and vent this foul rage!" Fei Yinggong roared, sword raised.

The eunuch fell to his knees in terror: "Spare me, brave hero — the silver is all yours!"

Fei Yinggong swept his sword out, and a head flew from its shoulders. He burst into great laughter: "Lads, load up the silver!"

A full chest of broken silver, every bit of it wrung from the people by the eunuch's extortion — now all of it fell into Fei Yinggong's hands for free.

By the time they carried the silver to the dock, Zhao Han had already seized the tax post.

Seeing that Fei Yinggong had also arrived, everyone boarded the boats, planning to take to the hills and become bandits.

Fei Yinggong was the first to step onto the deck. Once his daughter, son-in-law, trusted men, and the silver were all aboard, he suddenly swung his sword and cut a man down: "Cast off!"

His trusted men had received their orders earlier. Now they struck all at once, hacking to death the former turncoats who had already come aboard.

"Fourth Master, don't abandon us!" As the boats slowly pulled away from the bank, those who had switched sides wailed and howled on the shore like mourners at a funeral.

Fei Yinggong kicked the corpses into the river and spat: "You lot haven't a shred of brotherhood in you — all of you are bastards who'd call any tit your mother!"

The men on the shore scattered in every direction. Some simply charged back into town to loot — they could not stay in this wretched place any longer anyway.

As for the irrigation channel outside town, the brawl over water was still raging.

Inside the cabin.

Pang Chunlai said in a low voice, "These men reek too strongly of banditry. They're not good material for soldiers."

Zhao Han laughed. "He can be his mountain king, and I'll be my rebel chief. We were never the same crew to begin with. Once the silver's split, we part ways on good terms."

"As long as you know what you're doing — I'm just giving you a word of warning," Pang Chunlai said.

(End of chapter)