Chapter 447: The Cruel Competition

"I'll ask one last time—is this competition being held in secret?" Song Shuhang sat on his meticulously modified war vehicle and asked, "This isn't Dongmu."

Aside from the prohibition against using teleportation spells personally, all other methods are permitted.

Of course, you may not directly attack the competitors—only their hand-pulled tractors, or interfere with other competitors' movements.

Hmm. Under normal circumstances.

After all, the teleportation talismans at the first supply station are only three-quarters the number of participating vehicles, meaning one-quarter of the participants will be eliminated.

"Relax, Wang~." Dou Dou patted his shoulder and stuck a "#44" sticker onto Song Shuhang's tractor.

"White Zunzhe has set up a massive concealment array effective across the entire globe."

No wonder Song Shuhang asked that.

Behind them was the 1:1 replica of "Unit-01," deliberately placed at the rear due to its enormous size; the only thing relating it to a tractor was Lu Mingfei's use of spellcraft to affix the tractor to the top of his head.

Hmm. Roughly the equivalent of an adult gluing rice to their head.

To the right was Senior Su Lin, known as the External-Device Daoist, riding a motorcycle brimming with technological flair, plucking a bag of chips from the air and eating it, while an English song played on the phone mount fixed to the bike's handlebar.

To the left was the future Hun Tian Di, seated on a Mercedes tractor transformed from his own disciple, who called out across to Su Lin:

"How much would the first-place rewards be worth if exchanged for Zui Xian Niang or other resources? I don't want your own brew—I want the kind I drank the first time!"

Su Lin clearly hadn't expected Shi Hao to ask this; he paused, a flicker of panic crossing his eyes, then replied, "Not much."

"Bullshit. Is that all the value of the Heaven's Dao Library?" Ye Fan and Duan De sat in their vehicle and kicked the big black dog beneath them. "Even a dog wouldn't believe that."

The Black Emperor clenched his teeth, shot Ye Fan a furious glance, then chimed in: "Wang! The Emperor doesn't believe it!"

"Exactly, exactly." Penglai Shan Huiye nodded and said:

"In any ACG work, this would qualify as the ultimate library unlocked only after defeating the final boss—its value should at least equal the weight of an entire world."

Xing widened her eyes slightly: "I should've moved in earlier."

"Heh." Su Lin glanced at their seemingly ordinary tractors, then at Shi Hao, and said, "Don't forget—you're forbidden from using teleportation yourself. Wait until you've won first place before you talk."

"First place? That's definitely me." Shi Hao lifted his chin, drawing out the Da Luo Sword Embryo and holding it in his hand. "Nowhere does it say I can't use magical artifacts."

Ye Fan cast a glance at Shi Hao, then signaled to Duan De and the Black Emperor; instantly, the two men and the dog pulled out three sacks and poured their magical artifacts into the modified recesses at the front of the Mercedes tractor.

Good. There's real tension here.

Song Shuhang watched this scene numbly, feeling his own collection of magical artifacts wouldn't go to waste.

"I'll pray for you." Dou Dou raised his dog paw in encouragement, then turned away like a human, hands clasped behind his back.

"Found you, Dou Dou." Huangshan Zhenjun grabbed Dou Dou's bright red flower-patterned underwear and lifted the entire dog into the air. "The race is about to start—stop wandering around and get on my vehicle."

Dou Dou's mouth gaped wide open, his tiny black eyes filled with terror as he screamed: "Huangshan Da Sha! Are you insane?!"

"Da Sha Huang! What are you doing?!"

He began thrashing, his limbs clawing uselessly at the air, but Huangshan Zhenjun seized the loose skin at the back of Dou Dou's neck.

"It's you who's been running wild lately, hanging around with young Shuhang." Huangshan Zhenjun ignored Dou Dou's struggles, formed a spell seal, and said, "Silence. Since you refuse to seize this opportunity, I'll take you along myself."

A faint glow shimmered along the collar of this Pekingese. Instantly, the adorable Pekingese Dou Dou could no longer curse—only emit cute, helpless "Wang Wang" sounds. —'This is a chance tied to fate, not an opportunity! Huangshan Da Sha, I don't have any resurrection artifacts on me!!!'

Another day of respecting fate.

Dou Dou, if you don't want to experience the feeling of being married off as a male dog, don't anger Huangshan Zhenjun this time.

Song Shuhang's brow relaxed slightly, his mood growing pleasantly light: "The convergence of worldlines is truly terrifying."

【Dear seniors, fellow cultivators, welcome to the live broadcast of the First Hand-Pulled Tractor Competition of the Cultivation Realm. I'm your friend, Jiangshan, on-site reporter for the Cultivator Daily.】

As a smooth jade platform rose into the air, the Hand-Pulled Tractor Competition officially entered the preparation phase, with all competitors vigorously cranking their tractor starters.

Shi Hao didn't understand why they were cranking, but he followed suit—CRACK. "Broken… Ge Gu, fix it."

The Crimson Dragon Ge Gu, gritting his teeth, restored the starter rod.

【I am the Light Judge, ciao~】

The chat group members looked toward the jade platform and saw Su Lin, now dressed as a Daoist, his face stern and his white hair flowing, seated between the host and White Zunzhe.

Yi Leina spotted Su Lin's avatar on the judging panel and shouted: "Aren't you a contestant?!?!"

"The race hasn't even started—why are you questioning my professionalism?" Su Lin smiled indifferently, squinting his eyes and whispering telepathically: "Sorry, but first place is already mine."

【I will uphold the principles: First, never act on emotion; second, never overlook any wrongdoing; third, judge with absolute fairness and elegance.】

No… shameless. A hundred percent rigged judging!

"I really hope he'd have a broader perspective," Kleine said, pulling "Mr. Azk" from the Era's Gap, placing him at the rear of the vehicle to prepare his mythic beast form for the competitors behind.

【We've received complaints from some aquatic cultivators: Contestant Lu Mingfei, please keep your movements quieter on the sea course—the seabed hasn't been reinforced; if you start running and wreck the ocean, that won't do.】

White Zunzhe's voice echoed as he raised his command gun: 【Alright, everyone, prepare for 54】

Upon hearing the command, Su Lin switched off the music playlist on his phone and clicked play on the first song he'd paused.

Several technologically advanced floating machines drifted around the Quantum Motorcycle; everyone assumed they were weapons, but instead, an ethereal, echoing prelude emerged from them.

【3… 2… 1…】

Boom—

Corrupt binary codes infect my form, invoking a numbing freeze.

Law-chains forged from divine power erupted from the quantum motorcycle, locking onto the tractor's front end, which had been constructed via dimensional magic within an alternate dimension, while simultaneously laying down an infinitely extending golden-beige track.

"Ride on."

Before the eyes of all, Su Lin surged ahead, riding his sleek, elegantly contoured, exquisitely crafted quantum motorcycle as it vanished into the quantum tunnel.

Reality and illusion overlapped; through the enhanced Eight Trigram Mirror's projection, everyone saw Su Lin, far ahead of all competitors, streaking eastward as a ghostly blue light toward the first supply station.

"An unweakened Heaven's Dao artifact?! The Heaven's Dao artifacts in the simulation universe are real!!!"

"I once won a one-day trial pass for that vehicle—I knew it was a sure win! The Light Judge is guaranteed to win!"

"Quantum state—ignores all obstacles! Buying Su Lin's victory really is the best investment!"

"The odds have dropped—hurry, give me 1000 spirit stones!"

The popularity of the Heavenly Dao Lottery was unexpectedly high, with some even using spiritual techniques to place bets; if they won, they could claim a corresponding-grade cultivation art from Su Lin's Heavenly Dao Library.

If they lost, they merely had to have a copy of the cultivation art imprinted at the betting point and leave. Of course, due to the sheer number of bettors, to save time, they were required to swear an oath before the statue of Bai Zunzhe: any fraud would result in a super-doubled punishment during their heavenly tribulation.

Yi Leina sat between Xing and Penglai Mountain Huiye; their vehicle's speed was only on the lower end.

"It looks like Su Lin will take first place this time—his equipment is utterly overwhelming," Penglai Mountain Huiye said helplessly, gritting her teeth.

"Why can't I use the power of Eternity and Moment to teleport directly to the finish?!"

"Do you know," Yi Leina did not respond, instead gazing at the sea's scenery, through the prism-like projections of the Parallel Worlds, and said:

"Magic, even once learned, requires constant practice daily—but someone never practiced or completed any assignments."

Xing turned her gaze toward Yi Leina, watching as she snapped her fingers, then continued observing the scenery.

More than ten seconds later, in the projection of the Parallel World, an unmanned tractor spun backward and flew off like an arrow; a distant, brilliant blue light from ahead made a sharp turn and sped back along the original path.

"You damn witch!!"

queryingforavariableandseizingthetime

The music seemed mixed with some curses.

"Is he cursing you?" Xing took out the Builder's Legacy Artifact and inserted it into the specially designed rear slot of the tractor, securing it.

"Who knows? There are more female mages here than just me," Yi Leina scratched her ear, expression calm, pointing toward Yuanbao Lin and others.

"Is that so? How does the game line go again?" Xing scratched her head, gripping the gun's handle: "Flame Spear."

Shuashuashua—

Behind the ordinary-looking tractor, a flame tornado erupted, its immense, sky-scorching fire providing powerful thrust, sending the vehicle roaring forward to reach the same position as the Young Master of the Destroyed Phoenix.

"Song Shuhang, good luck," the three waved at the stunned Young Master of the Destroyed Phoenix, then the tractor vanished into the prism-like extradimensional space.

The contestant whose exterior was the Young Master of the Destroyed Phoenix but whose inner self was Song Shuhang stared blankly: "Who are they?"

Are these three seniors in Jiuzhou Group One? Why didn't I ever see them before? Can tractors even be used like this?

In that moment of stunned hesitation, the "Destroyed Phoenix version of Song Shuhang" directly hit a "Explosive Fireball" trap with a three-second delay.

Boom—boom—boom—

"What a cruel competition," the Spirit Warrior Wei Gong remarked: "Even the Parallel Worlds hold such contests?"

Yuanbao Lin shouted: "Prepare your treasures—we're going back!"

A surging magical energy radiated seven-colored radiance; the crystalline treasure sword of the Second Law carved a path ahead. Reaching the cultivation technique supply point via Parallel World leap was far safer than competing with those monsters.

This Parallel World returned to normal once more, and that was all.

"I don't want to travel to space for a month!!!" the Destroyed Phoenix version of Song Shuhang screamed in the explosion.

【Dear Daoists watching at home, this scene may shock and astonish you. But please do not panic—this Handheld Tractor Race's core principles are 'Peace' and 'Love.' As the saying goes, friendship first, competition second; some casualties are purely accidental events.】

【Alright, medical teams, enter to treat those eliminated due to personal grudges. Let's return our focus to the race: we can see Contestant Su Lin's tractor suddenly lost its lower half, causing him to fall back from first place!】

【Currently in first place is Contestant No. 996, Shi Hao. By the way, how did this tractor grow wings? Is this… really not a cultivation technique? By the way, this tractor's black smoke is way too thick.】

"Look closely," Shi Hao shouted to the Eight Trigrams Mirror: "This is flying with wings!"

【Alright, anyway, there's already a No. 1 tractor behind… Hmm, Contestant Shi Hao is about to reach the supply point to collect a cultivation technique talisman. Next stop: the Moon!】 Jiangshan said.

【I object.】 the Light Judge said: 【Contestant Shi Hao, please keep your wheels touching the sea surface—flying above the ocean racecourse is strictly prohibited.】

"Fine, I'll drive," Shi Hao slapped Ge Gu: "Your turn. If we win, I'll treat you to real immortal wine."

The scene was no longer describable as mere chaos—long before reaching the first supply station, cultivators with personal grudges had already begun fierce competition.

"Old Luo! The grudge from two thousand years ago is due for settlement!"

"Wasn't it just that I locked you inside a terracotta warrior when I made them for Qin Shi Huang for two hundred years?"

"No need to argue—take this Heaven-Man Three Declines Curse Technique! Target: your tractor!"

"You piece of animal-headed filth!"

Feuds among Xuan Sages were rare, but where one occurred in the main group, another followed.

"Big Horse, die!" Su Qi's eyes glowed red as her tractor's ten-meter-long Xuan Steel blade stabbed violently into Kuang Dao Kuangdao Sanlang's tractor.

"Brother Su, didn't I bother you these past two days?!" Kuang Dao Kuangdao Sanlang asked.

Su Qi gritted her teeth: "Last month, you used my name to online-date a barbarian ape cultivator in the Simulation Universe! He came to Tianhe Su Shi three days ago demanding an explanation!"

Kuang Dao Kuangdao Sanlang turned, gazing at Su Qi in confusion; his innocent expression made Su Qi momentarily doubt she'd misunderstood him.

"You didn't do it?"

"No, it's been too long—I forgot which ape it was."

Blade qi enveloped his body, merging man and blade as one. Su Qi was no longer driving a tractor—he had become one with the blade. "I'll kill you!"

In an instant, the scene descended into chaos.

Because some cultivators had realized the victory rule: eliminate your rivals, and you become the sole winner, explosions from modern firearms were now mere trivialities.

The organizers had already stated these methods could be prepared in advance; aside from nuclear and hydrogen bombs, which hadn't arrived yet, all modern weapons were available—after all, the goal was to destroy others' tractors.

"Dog, move faster—the ones behind are catching up!" Ye Fan urged.

"Don't rush—do you want me to lose focus and trigger the formation pattern and kill us ourselves?!" Hei Huang concentrated as he carved a formation pattern onto an A4 sheet; once done, he released his claw as if it had slipped from his grip, blown away by the wind.

The star-studded night sky suddenly changed: dark clouds gathered, icy winds howled, waves surged, and the gale-force winds transformed into countless demonic soldier spirits attacking the contestants.

Hei Huang blinked. "Wang! My Ancient Killing Formation accidentally dropped!"

Duan De nodded, opening his artifact storage slot: "Indeed, the Daoist's own artifacts fell too—what a loss, sigh!!!"

A mushroom cloud rose as Ye Fan, driving the Mercedes tractor, departed with the man and the dog.

"Be more careful next time—these are all the Guild's property."

(End of Chapter)