Chapter 79: Like Me, Yet Not Me

The rooftop of a twenty-story residential building.

A man and a woman from Kassel Academy's Executive Department lay on a moss-covered concrete slab.

Su Lin sat on the parapet of the rooftop, expressionlessly watching the traffic below, his mind churning with thoughts.

He was thinking about a question.

If you could go back to the past, anyone would spare no effort to leave no regrets.

But suppose you went back to the past and discovered another version of yourself, one you couldn't replace, and one who would eventually disappear.

What would you do?

You would only be a spectator, a passerby doomed to be just a spectator.

But you couldn't help wanting to take part in this performance; upon encountering parts you didn't like, you'd snatch the director's script and scribble over it; if the script was too bad, you'd want to tear it up and write one you liked yourself.

"Everything I wanted."

"Everything I cared about."

"Everything I lost."

Su Lin muttered to himself, legs dangling in the air, his heels rhythmically kicking the wall and making thump-thump sounds.

What a mood-killer; it left him unable to finish his roast duck and forced him to pack up and leave.

A conversation and deal with Lu Mingze had left him somewhat uncomfortable — not because of Lu Mingze himself, but because of the Lu Mingfei from a different future, someone he had been ignoring all along.

He had originally thought that coming to Lu Mingfei's world this time would just be casually harvesting some points and stirring up some big commotion; he hadn't expected to get mixed up in something like this.

Actually, from his perspective, no matter what, Lu Mingfei's current future was still better than the original one.

If left to another version of himself to handle, no matter what, he would end up living a happy life.

He only needed to lie around and he'd still become incredibly strong, and he even had a chat group as a cheat.

In other words, the angst of any youth-pain literature had already been steamrolled by the tropes of "Dragon King in the City."

The only fly in the ointment was that the "unlucky" kid who had come back from the future to the present had already changed.

"He knows he's Lu Mingfei, but how many Lu Mingfeis is he?"

Lu Mingze wore a disappointed expression, his eyes somewhat dim.

"He's not my brother."

"He lived into being me."

"But he's also not me."

Su Lin recalled the expression on Lu Mingze's face when he said these words; even the bright lights of the restaurant couldn't illuminate the gloom in his heart, as if he had waited for someone who had been gone a long time, and when that person finally returned, they were no longer the way they used to be.

"I want to give him the best scenes from every script, let him live a happier life in my place."

Su Lin suddenly felt a strong sense of déjà vu about Old Lu, as if he'd seen him somewhere before; after thinking for a long time, he finally remembered.

It was something from his own childhood.

At the Lantern Festival fair on the hill behind the small county town where he lived back then, the vendors' cries hawking candied hawthorns, lotus seed porridge, and zodiac sugar paintings never ceased; the noisy environment only thickened the lingering festive atmosphere.

His parents carried him around as they strolled, and he wanted this and that.

A child's memory is fickle; upon seeing something he wanted, he forgot the last time he'd thrown a fit and gotten his bottom smacked hard by his parents.

Unexpectedly, his parents bought everything.

He tasted things first, and whatever didn't suit his palate, his parents finished off for him.

His grade-school self didn't know why his parents had changed their tune that day; whatever he wanted, they bought.

"Linwa, are you happy today?" his mother asked, holding him close.

"Happy."

He had forgotten what expression he wore back then — probably a beaming smile.

"Your mom and dad only have so much ability; today we just wanted to let you have a little fun," his father said, patting his head. "If your dad had the means, I'd buy you an airplane too."

"But your mom and dad can't buy an airplane, and we can't make you this happy every day."

"So you have to study hard, and strive to let yourself — and your own kids — be happy every day."

His parents' expressions had become very blurry in Su Lin's memory; he only vaguely remembered those words and the festive scene around him.

He had once assumed it was just his father again encouraging him to study hard and make progress every day.

Later, Su Lin started working and entered society; in his spare time he chatted with some married colleagues and saw all sorts of things.

It was only in his idle moments that he realized: those were his parents wanting to give him the very best, but being limited by reality and unable to, so they could only hope their child would grow into the version of themselves they had imagined.

Those tutoring classes, those scoldings...

Placing intense expectations on the child, hoping those expectations would work, hoping the child would live out the wonderful life in their stead and be even happier.

Not all parents are like this, but only parents hold this kind of mindset.

Su Lin's eyesight was excellent now; he could easily make out every single passerby on the street below.

The parents leading their children home from school were picking fruit at a fruit stall, choosing the biggest and most brightly colored ones from the mixed-quality bunch.

Old Lu... that guy was different from the future selves of people like Xiao Yan and Ye Fan, including Han Li.

For the current Lu Mingfei, Old Lu had lived into being a parent — or rather, into being another Lu Mingze.

Whether the current Lu Mingfei wanted it or not, he only wanted to stuff everything he considered the best — the best plot, the best ending — into his past self.

Su Lin couldn't pinpoint what was off, but it just felt oppressive.

"Sigh."

Su Lin let out a sigh. Actually, there was nothing wrong with it; the problem was, he had lived for a million years — what values wouldn't be eroded by time and still retain a few degrees of similarity with the current Lu Mingfei? This was a question Su Lin hadn't considered before.

Was what he considered the best something the current Lu Mingfei was willing to accept?

Especially that guy — he had previously planted so many avatars in the past to awaken in the future world, creating all sorts of different world-lines.

According to Lu Mingze's way of putting it, there were too many birthday gifts he wanted to make up for; even the boxes holding the gifts could drown the current Lu Mingfei.

This guy doesn't even listen to Lu Mingze's advice now; the only ones who might benefit are probably the human race.

Because someone complained that modern technology was too backward to satisfy his entertainment needs, so he planned to pull off a leapfrog technological leap.

Going straight to the Fifth Industrial Revolution.

"What a hassle. How about stirring up some random trouble and slipping back home?"

What does it really have to do with him? Thinking it over carefully, at most Lu Mingfei would be drowned in all sorts of 'happiness' and at a loss — it probably wouldn't be that bad.

After all, who can say clearly how much ability the future Lu Mingfei still has left now? Better not get involved.

Su Lin thought for a while.

Forget it, no one said he couldn't take benefits from both sides.

Wait for Lu Mingze to reply.

"Hey, you two on the ground, awake yet?"

Su Lin said listlessly, not turning his head, only looking up at the night sky.

The city lights were too bright, blocking out the starlight; at a glance all one could see was the moon, even though there weren't many clouds in the sky tonight.

The two operatives of Kassel College's Executive Department, hearing this, gave up their plan to keep pretending to sleep on the ground.

They found that their earpieces hadn't been removed and still had signal.

The two got up from the ground with nervous expressions.

"If you make a move on me, I'll take off your arms. If you dare run, I'll take off your legs."

"If you speak rudely, I'll cut out your tongues."

To prevent some unnecessary situations from occurring, Su Lin concisely and clearly issued the announcement.

"Achoo!"

Su Lin suddenly sneezed, completely baffled — a historical projection stuffed with a divine spark could still sneeze?!

Who's cursing me? Who's ruining my style?