Chapter 80: Don

…

The harem has always been the worst place to keep secrets.

Early the next morning, before dawn, Zhang Chun lost control of her bladder and sprayed Zhao Yu all over, causing her to fail in her duty to serve him; the news that the two palace maids who bathed Zhao Yu benefited instead spread throughout the entire harem.

In an instant, Zhang Chun became a huge joke, and everyone in the harem talked about it with delight.

Li Lin, Yuan Qing Cheng, Ye Shi Yun, and Ma Xiao Jiao—Zhang Chun's four close friends—rushed over the moment they heard, not to gawk, but to comfort her.

Upon seeing Zhang Chun, the four women noticed her face was pale but her demeanor still decent, and immediately relaxed their worries.

Ye Shi Yun, who had lost the favor contest to Zhang Chun yesterday, was the first to gloat: "What's wrong, Chun Chun? Why so nervous you couldn't even hold your pee? If I were you, I'd die trying to get Zhao Yu first—turn that raw rice into cooked rice no matter what."

After speaking, Ye Shi Yun laughed incessantly, unkindly: "Giggle-giggle-giggle…"

Zhang Chun didn't look at Ye Shi Yun, who was nearly ecstatic, but turned to the other three women: "If you want to laugh, laugh—it's fine. Don't hold it in until you hurt yourselves."

Seeing Zhang Chun could still joke, Li Lin and the other three knew at once this hadn't hurt her; they dropped their pretense and immediately laughed just as hard as Ye Shi Yun, doubling over.

After a while, Ma Xiao Jiao, utterly carefree, said: "Chun-jie, you peed, fine—but why on the Emperor himself? If he weren't so benevolent and didn't treat a little woman like you with contempt, this would be an offense against the Dragon's dignity."

"Indeed, only Zhao Yu has such restraint. If it were anyone else, they'd think it cursed them to death." Yuan Qing Cheng said.

"Do you have some illness? Maybe you should see the Imperial Physician," Li Lin suggested.

After all four women finished teasing her, Zhang Chun spoke lightly: "Laugh all you want—I don't care. I've already done the most humiliating thing possible; why should I fear your mockery? Besides, your opinions don't matter. What matters is Zhao Yu's attitude. As long as he doesn't reject me, let others say whatever they want—I'll assume they're just jealous. Even if I offended him, he still loves me just the same."

Ye Shi Yun struck back: "Are you sure Zhao Yu really doesn't reject you? Maybe he already does—just hasn't said so."

Zhang Chun replied with full confidence: "I'm certain, absolutely, and without doubt."

Without waiting for the four women to ask how she had such confidence, Zhang Chun went on: "You don't know—I was completely stunned, lying there in the urine, too terrified to move, thinking my life was over. Being cast into the Cold Palace was the least of it—I feared I'd be given a length of red silk. But just as I was at my most desperate, Zhao Yu gently picked me up from the urine, carried me to bathe, comforted me, told me not to be nervous, said I just wasn't mentally ready, and that he could wait—for however long it took."

Zhang Chun's dreamy expression left the four women speechless; they all thought simultaneously: 'Is this really necessary?'

At this point, Zhang Chun added regretfully: "Ah! It's all my fault—I was so blinded by yesterday's humiliation that I didn't show him I was fine. He thought I still wasn't ready, so those two little demons got the chance. Otherwise, my good fortune would've already been sealed—Zhao Yu would've already been mine…"

After hearing Zhang Chun's full account of last night's details, Ye Shi Yun found it hard to believe: "So Zhao Yu really didn't reject you?"

"Reject me? I've been a virgin two lifetimes over—my urine is fragrant. What's there to reject?"

Here, Zhang Chun turned to counterattack Ye Shi Yun, who had been relentlessly attacking her: "Unlike you—you've slept with who knows how many men in your past life. What exactly can you even offer Zhao Yu?"

Ye Shi Yun shot back: "I can offer Zhao Yu my rich experience—at least I won't panic at the critical moment and pee all over him."

Zhang Chun, furious: "You! Don't forget—you're still my maid!"

Ye Shi Yun shook her head: "Ever since I first saw Zhao Yu, you've ceased to be my mistress. I, Ye Shi Yun, will soon be Zhao Yu's most beloved concubine, living the life you all envy!"

Zhang Chun gritted her teeth: "Ungrateful wretch!"

Li Lin cut in, stopping Zhang Chun and Ye Shi Yun from arguing further over a man.

Sisters are like limbs; men are like clothes. Clothes can be mended; limbs severed, can they be restored?

So quarreling over a man isn't worth it.

With this mindset, Li Lin said: "Enough, enough. Just make sure this incident didn't harm Chun Chun—that's all that matters."

Ma Xiao Jiao said: "Don't worry—the Emperor is magnanimous. When I first served him, I cried from being moved and ruined my makeup, turned into a full-blown ghost, and he still didn't reject me." Hearing this, Zhang Chun felt even more regret: 'If I'd pulled myself together yesterday, I could've won Zhao Yu!'

'I wonder if Zhao Yu will give me another chance after court?'

…

In the Chuigong Hall.

Zhao Yu presented Ye Shi Yun's Three Strategies to the chancellors for discussion.

To Zhao Yu's surprise, both the New Faction and the Old Faction praised Ye Shi Yun's 'Salt Administration Financialization Reform,' 'Religious Concession Auction,' and 'Maritime Trade Options System' without end.

Zhang Dun went so far as to lavish praise: "Your Majesty's three strategies are truly the supreme policies for governing the state and securing the realm—they will surely relieve our Great Song's urgent fiscal crisis."

Han Zhongyan also lauded: "Your Majesty's policies perfectly embody the Confucian essence of benevolent rule while retaining the Legalist edge of reform—rare indeed. On finance, they both open new revenue streams and cut expenses, address immediate hardship and plan for the long term—I am deeply impressed."

Then, whether New Faction members Ceng Bu, Cai Bian, Cai Jing, or Old Faction members Xu Jiang, Su Zhe (just returned to court), or Su Shi, all heaped praise on the three strategies.

Zhao Yu quickly understood: both factions supported these strategies not only because they were genuinely good and could ease the Zhao Song dynasty's fiscal pressure, but because these strategies came from Emperor "Zhao Yu"—and more crucially, they were still scrambling to pull Zhao Yu to their side; why would they push him to the opposite camp?

Thus, the three strategies passed with remarkable ease.

The fact that the chancellors approved these strategies so easily didn't please Zhao Yu—it made him uneasy.

Perhaps sensing Zhao Yu's concern, or perhaps feeling that as a chancellor—especially one determined to repay Zhao Yu's patronage—he must warn him of the risks, Su Shi fell silent for a moment, then said: "Your Majesty's three strategies are indeed excellent for saving the state, but if not properly controlled in execution, they may lead to oppressive taxes and indirectly burden the people. Careful selection of capable ministers and competent officials is essential for stability."

Zhao Yu looked at Su Shi and thought: 'You're an honest man—far better than these others. Since you're so honest, I'll overlook how many terrible poems you wrote—I had to memorize every single one as a child.'

Zhao Yu turned to Cai Jing: "Minister Cai, you are in charge of this. Don't let me down."

Cai Jing replied: "Yes, Your Majesty."

After this matter was settled, Zhang Dun brought up again the unresolved issue from court—whether to wage war or seek peace with Liao and Xi Xia—and asked Zhao Yu for clear direction so they could act.

Before Zhao Yu could speak, the war faction and the peace faction began arguing again.

Zhao Yu watched like an audience, listening to them bicker for a while longer.

As expected, neither side could convince the other.

Only when the argument reached a fever pitch and physical violence seemed imminent did Zhao Yu finally speak: "Zhang, stay. Everyone else, leave."

Seeing Zhao Yu chose to keep Zhang Dun, Han Zhongyan and the other Old Faction members felt resentful.

But Zhao Yu was Emperor; Zhang Dun was Chancellor. If Zhao Yu wished to speak privately with Zhang Dun, who dared say "no"?

Han Zhongyan could only sulk away with the other Old Faction chancellors.

The New Faction chancellors, seeing Zhao Yu still favored their views, quietly breathed a sigh of relief and withdrew one by one.

When only Zhao Yu and Zhang Dun remained in the Chuigong Hall, Zhao Yu declared his stance without waiting for Zhang Dun to persuade him: "I favor a firm response to Liao and Xi Xia's provocations."

Zhang Dun rejoiced, bowing with excitement: "Your Majesty is wise!"

After telling Zhang Dun to rise, Zhao Yu added hesitantly: "But if we do this, we must mobilize troops and show we're ready to fight—only then can we deter the two barbarian tribes. Yet the court has long delayed military funding. An emperor cannot command hungry soldiers. Minister, how do you advise me…"

…

(End of Chapter)