Chapter 78: Immortal Means

The Guan Chenghuang of General Guan sent out a grand gift, and the two Impermanences accepted the heavy gift without the slightest hesitation; the atmosphere in the parlor immediately became incomparably harmonious.

Once the Earth God brought over seasonal fresh fruits and a jar of clear wine, the three of them ate and drank, laughing and chatting over cups of wine; both host and guests were delighted.

Not until the Red Smoke Steed finally stepped into the territory of Yingxiang Prefecture did the local Earth God and the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan simultaneously sense it.

The Guan Chenghuang of General Guan accompanied the two Impermanences for another two cups of clear wine before saying, "This place is, after all, too barren, with only melons, fruits, and clear wine, which is too much of a grievance to the two honorable envoys. Fortunately, a grand banquet has already been laid out again at the prefecture city."

"General Guan General Guan Tianyang, you must serve the two lords well. Do you hear me?"

"I obey the Master's command!"

The tall General in chainmail first cupped his hands toward the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan, then smilingly invited the two Impermanences out.

Before leaving, the two Impermanences bowed to the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan once more to thank him for his grand hospitality.

Not until the front courtyard gate was closed again did General Guan Huchen, who had been hiding in the inner room, let out a long breath and trot out, asking, "Old Ancestor, has the Red Smoke Steed returned? My grandson sensed it; my corpse is nearby."

The Guan Chenghuang of General Guan said indifferently, "You had better stay in the inner room, lest complications arise. When there is a need, I will naturally summon you out."

Then he turned his head and said to the Earth God, "He Hansheng, I must trouble you again. Take Yageli and bring General Guan General Guan Huchen's remains over."

"Serving the Master is He Hansheng's honor; please do not say 'trouble'."

The Earth God smiled, bowed to the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan, and turned to go outside the house.

A moment later, he and the green-faced, fanged ghost envoy Yageli returned to the courtyard, carrying the remains wrapped in a fire-rat robe.

The Guan Chenghuang of General Guan uncovered the fire-rat robe and observed carefully.

When General Guan Huchen was beaten to death by the Marquis of Blazing Sun, he was wearing a full set of armor, from helmet to breastplate to boots, not a single piece missing.

After the "Eight Immortals Shoot the Sun" at Flying Immortal Ferry ended, only a portion of the armor was removed by General Guan Zhong and Seeing Xiao Yu Yu to lighten the burden on the Red Smoke Steed.

The rest could not be moved, nor did they dare to, fearing it would cause secondary damage to General Guan Huchen's remains.

Now, that twisted and deformed iron armor, clinging tightly to General Guan Huchen's body, had already begun to seep yellow-green water from the gaps.

It stank.

General Guan Huchen's face, exposed outside, was visibly swollen and slightly decayed.

"Fortunately, fortunately..." The Guan Chenghuang of General Guan let out a long sigh of relief, the solemnity and worry gone from his face, replaced even by a hint of a smile. "It must be the merit of General Guan Zhong and General Guan Yu; they protected General Guan Huchen's remains very well."

The green-faced, fanged ghost envoy leaned toward the corpse to look, frowning as he said, "Master, the Young Master is already dead through and through, and the corpse is a mess; what is good about it?"

The Earth God He Hansheng on the side smiled and said, "We don't fear it being a mess; we fear the corpse being incomplete, missing important parts."

"General General Guan Huchen's remains are very complete; apart from excessive blood loss, almost nothing is missing."

"The vital essence, however, can be slowly nurtured back."

The Guan Chenghuang of General Guan nodded lightly and said, "Looking at it now, the fresh corpses I had you prepare earlier will not be needed after all. He Hansheng, send them all back and let them be buried again in peace."

"Although their souls have long since entered reincarnation and the corpses of their previous lives have almost severed their causal ties, they still have families."

"Sigh, if I can reduce a little karma, I can be much more at ease."

The Earth God flattered, "Master is overthinking it. Even if you really took a small part from those corpses, their families would not notice anything."

"The dead are paramount; let them be buried in peace."

"Which family would bury their deceased one day and dig up the grave and coffin the next?"

"What you took, Master, would sooner or later decay and merge into the soil; it harms no one and harms nothing in heaven or earth."

"On the contrary, using useless things to revive a useful body is a great merit!"

"The principle is the principle, but karma does not reason! Even if I can act in a way that the Underworld rules and the Jade Emperor's heavenly laws cannot find fault with, some things, once done, will inevitably leave traces, and those traces are karma," the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan sighed.

After speaking, he pointed to General Guan Huchen's remains and said, "I must trouble Brother He Hansheng to prepare a quiet room. Additionally, I need clean cotton cloth, a sharp blade, an axe, a steel saw, a chisel, an iron rod, a hammer, needle and thread, rootless water, good wine without ash..."

The Earth God pondered, "As you see, Master, my Earth God Temple is only this big. There are empty rooms, but they are somewhat narrow, which is not conducive to you performing your divine powers."

"I have an idea: use white cloth to enclose a space in the front courtyard, using candles for illumination inside; it would be both spacious and bright. What does the Master think?"

The Guan Chenghuang of General Guan looked left and right; the courtyard was actually not very spacious, about a zhang wide and two zhang long.

It was about twenty square meters.

But compared to the six or seven-square-meter parlor and the three or four-square-meter inner room and side hall, this place immediately appeared "spacious and bright."

"Let it be done this way! Yageli, you guard the outside; while I am performing my arts, do not let anyone in," the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan said.

The Earth God's efficiency was very high.

He wandered around the neighborhood and "borrowed" all the items the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan needed from wealthy households.

Once a hanging white cloth divided the courtyard into two, Yageli and the Earth God He Hansheng outside heard a series of clanging sounds.

The Guan Chenghuang of General Guan had begun.

Through a layer of white cloth, the Earth God He Hansheng could still vaguely see the figure of the Guan Chenghuang.

He would sometimes raise a woodcutter's knife high to chop forcefully, sometimes steady a chisel with one hand while hammering violently with the other, sometimes pull a logging saw back and forth with a huffing sound, sometimes exhale and pull out something resembling viscera, sometimes roll up his sleeves and snap a long leg...

After tossing about like a blacksmith treating ironware or a carpenter treating a mechanical beast, the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan finally used his Guan Chenghuang divine power!

A sheet of golden divine light descended, and a "sizzling" sound, like fat frying in a hot pan, came out.

Accompanying it was a pungent stench and thick yellow-black smoke.

But gradually, the corpse stench and thick smoke faded and disappeared, and in the end, there was not a trace of rotting corpse smell in the courtyard.

After another round of splashing water to clean up, they heard the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan call out, "He Hansheng, take down the curtain; I have finished. Many thanks to you, brother, this time."

"I dare not, I dare not!"

The Earth God heard the relief and joy in the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan's tone, guessing that he had achieved great success, yet he still put on a concerned expression, hiding three parts "nervousness" and four parts "trepidation" in his tone as he asked, "Has General General Guan recovered?"

In fact, his hands had not stopped moving even now, as he was tidying up the curtain.

After pulling the curtain aside, he saw General Guan Huchen laid out on the wooden table.

His clothes and armor had all been cut to shreds and chiseled open, with broken iron pieces and blood-stained rotten cloth piled messily on the ground; he was now completely naked.

But this beautiful-bearded man with a healthy physique was now not the least bit alluring, even to those with a penchant for Longyang.

Not only was he not alluring, he looked exceptionally terrifying.

If Seeing Xiao Yu Yu were here, she would surely exclaim: "My godfather is named 'Frankenstein General Guan'!"

On General Guan Huchen's face, arms, thighs, and torso, traces of stitching were visible everywhere.

The skin color was also different; some places were deathly pale, while others were bruised and black, the blue-purple distribution very uneven.

However, the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan's craftsmanship was actually quite good.

Although there were many stitches on General Guan Huchen's body, the stitches were fine and neat, with not a single thread end sticking out.

Looking closely, there was even a sense of artistic beauty.

"It is still a long way from recovery, but at least he has come back to life."

The Guan Chenghuang of General Guan had a look of pride on his face. After looking him up and down, he shouted toward the inner room, "General Guan General Guan Huchen, let your soul return~~~"

Following his soul-calling shout, General Guan Huchen's soul drifted out involuntarily, landing straight onto the shell on the wooden table.

"Ugh, ah..." General Guan Huchen had truly come back to life.

His whole body was incomparably uncomfortable, his throat so dry it felt like it was going to smoke.

Although every part of his body ached and itched, he could only feel it, unable to control his limbs and torso, as if a layer of film separated him from them.

"Grand~father, un~comfortable..." he said with difficulty.

"It is right to be uncomfortable; only the living feel discomfort, while the dead do not."

The Guan Chenghuang of General Guan walked into the main room with a smile, bringing out the whole pot of tea he had used to entertain the Grabbing Wuchang ghosts earlier.

Coming to General Guan Huchen's side, he used the spout to pour it into his mouth.

"Gulp, gulp..." General Guan Huchen felt as if he had never been so comfortable, as if he had become a patch of parched land that hadn't seen rain in three years, suddenly encountering spiritual rain falling today.

He felt so comfortable that his toes and fingers began to twitch lightly.

Then, "Ugh~~~"

The tea entered his mouth and moistened his throat, feeling incredibly refreshing.

But once the tea entered his belly, it immediately made his stomach churn and rumble like a turbulent river.

General Guan Huchen couldn't hold it back; propping himself up on the table, he tilted his head and vomited everything out.

It was all a mixture of dark red and black solids and liquids, even smellier than the previous corpse stench.

After vomiting, he took two breaths, and the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan poured the spout into his mouth again, followed by more vomiting.

This cycle repeated five times, and the tea in the pot was dry before the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan smiled and said, "Now you have truly come back to life; the Black and White Grabbing Wuchang have no more reason to hook your soul."

Although General Guan Huchen had been vomiting, he gradually regained his strength and regained control of his hands and feet.

"Grandfather, what tea is this? It is simply immortal water. My body is still weak, but that unbearable agony has disappeared by more than half."

The Guan Chenghuang of General Guan said, "What immortal water? It is merely 'thoughts of tea' separated from the incense and wishes of the common people."

"The thoughts of tea come from the common people; it is the feeling of the nearby good believers drinking tea on ordinary days."

"The tea brewed is naturally the tea the common people drink every day."

"Now it is just clearer and purer, allowing ghosts and gods to taste the same flavor."

"Just now, although you were alive, the death energy had been eliminated by me, but the filth in your body remained."

"When the filth met the clear tea, it naturally reacted, stimulating your intestines and stomach to move and actively vomit them out."

"Once the intestines and stomach are cleared and the filth leaves the body, the agony disappears by more than half."

The Earth God bowed to General Guan Huchen and smiled, "Congratulations to General General Guan for returning to the light! The pillar of our Great Shu has broken and been reconnected; it is the blessing of all living beings and the whole world celebrates!"

Even though General Guan Huchen found it difficult to move, he still struggled to get off the table and knelt respectfully to the Earth God, "General Guan Huchen pays respects to the Earth God. Many thanks to the Earth God for saving my broken body. This great kindness, my General Guan family will never forget for generations!"

The Guan Chenghuang of General Guan watched from the side, lightly twisting his long beard, nodding slightly, a look of satisfaction on his face.

——Facing ghosts and gods, one should maintain etiquette and awe. One does not expect to please ghosts and gods or gain benefits, but rather not to let ghosts and gods hold a grudge, which might ruin your great affairs... or even your life at certain times.

He himself was a ghost and god, so he knew too well the dimensionality-reduction crushing ghosts and gods had over mortals.

Not to mention divine power and authority, just the power of ghosts and gods to supervise and inspect the human world could easily ruin the vast majority of mortals.

True sages do not fear ghosts and gods.

But mortals will always make mistakes.

Ghosts and gods use pens to record the sins and merits of mortals; the same event can be written into multiple completely different stories. If sins or merits accumulate, the Underworld will directly modify the "destiny" of mortals (the outcome in the human world).

"General Guan General Guan Huchen, you may go."

After General Guan Huchen finished bowing to the Earth God, the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan waved his hand and said, "Return to the General Guan Mansion early and settle down sooner."

General Guan Huchen was stunned for a moment and said, "This is a divine immortal mansion; I am but a mortal, so I should naturally leave early."

"But I have not yet recovered, and even riding a horse is difficult. Should I just return to the General Guan Mansion like this? The General Guan Mansion is still thousands of miles away!"

Generally, when outsiders were present, he would try his best not to call the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan "Grandfather" and would refer to himself as "this humble person."

Although everyone knew what kind of person the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan was, when it was time to avoid suspicion, one still had to maintain a bit of decency.

When he was first sent into the Earth God Temple, he was panicked and terrified, shouting "Grandfather, save my life," and the Guan Chenghuang of General Guan immediately sent away the Earth Gods accompanying him; this was the reason. ===== CHAPTER 79 =====