Chapter 514: Your Disciple Is a Little Pervert

Back home, he spent a little money, called in two aunties to clean, and they did it fast and well. He made up his mind: from now on, the household cleaning would be outsourced to the aunties. It would provide jobs and free his own hands.

Afterwards, he had the little eatery at the alley entrance prepare a banquet and deliver it to his home. He also sent someone to invite Qi Qi Wuxiu over to drink with him.

Qi Qi Wuxiu, true to his habit of climbing walls, jumped straight over the wall. This time he didn't come alone—he brought a disciple too.

"My disciple, Wang Wu. Wang Wu, this is the Prison Warden Chen I told you about."

Wang Wu was very young, probably just come of age, still carrying a trace of boyishness on his face. Stiff and proper, he said, "This junior pays respects to his senior, and wishes you well."

"Where did you find this disciple? He's nothing like you in temperament!"

"Same temperament—that'd be a son. Wang Wu is the son of my old neighbor. His parents are both gone. His brothers divided the family property, and he had nowhere to go, so I took him along to work and let him gain some experience for a while. Eventually he'll formally join the Embroidered Uniform Guard. At least he's got a government rice bowl now."

"We're all family here, no need for ceremony. Wang Wu, sit down and eat together. When you come here in the future, don't be so uptight—just treat it like your own home. Your master, Old Qi, has never been polite with me. He often climbs over here in the middle of the night to scrounge food and drink, doesn't care whether I'm asleep, whether there's anything to eat. Over the years he's mooched countless meals off me, and I've never seen him be polite about it." Chen Chen Guanlou beckoned.

Qi Qi Wuxiu laughed heartily. "You're a rich landlord—of course I have to mooch off you! Wang Wu, why are you standing there? Sit down quick. Coming to Warden Chen's place is like coming to your own home. If you run into trouble in the future and I'm not around, come find Warden Chen. He'll definitely find a way to help you sort it out. Don't be fooled by him being just a small warden at the Heaven Prison—his abilities are huge. Plenty of officials beg him to handle things for them."

"You're laying it on too thick! That's not how you brag. I'm just a tiny prison warden, taking money to run errands for people, earning a hard-earned living."

"What you earn isn't hard-earned money—that's called sitting-on-the-ground money. What we Embroidered Uniform Guard earn is the real hard-earned money."

"Your Embroidered Uniform Guard must have struck it rich lately, right? How many people did you arrest in the Altar Explosion case?" Chen Chen Guanlou hadn't returned to the Heaven Prison yet, so he got the latest from Qi Qi Wuxiu first.

Qi Qi Wuxiu ate and drank as he listened, and at the mention of the Altar case his face took on an expression that said it all. "What investigation is it? It's outright retaliation. Using the investigation as a chance to strike out at rivals. I never used to understand why a new Son of Heaven brings a new court—aren't all court officials serving the Emperor? Why so many factions? Now I finally get it."

"Oh? Striking out at whose rivals?"

"Who else could it be? Naturally, those whose hearts aren't aligned with His Majesty. All those court officials who supported the late Emperor when the Crown Prince was deposed—they've all had bad luck this time, every single one of them dragged into the Altar Explosion case. Whether they actually had anything to do with it is really just a matter of one word from the Embroidered Uniform Guard. Your Heaven Prison side has also detained a batch of people—ones only lightly involved."

"If that's the case, the cells at the Imperial Prison must be nearly full."

"Been full for ages." Qi Qi Wuxiu's face was full of irritation—he clearly didn't care for the Embroidered Uniform Guard's way of doing things, yet had no choice but to go along with it, continuing to eat this half-cooked government rice bowl. Being a dog—being a dog for anyone is the same. Being a dog for the court, at least, means fewer Su Su Pozi and maids to wait on. That's the one and only benefit.

He'd thoroughly thought it through now. The whole world was the same—money's hard to earn, shit's hard to swallow. The Embroidered Uniform Guard, at least, had fewer masters to serve, and the pay was decent.

"I should count myself lucky I'm not on duty at the Imperial Prison. I really don't know how you've endured it at the Heaven Prison. Every time I go into the Imperial Prison, I can't help wanting to throw up."

"The Imperial Prison—I went there once. Honestly, the Heaven Prison doesn't dare compare. Next time you're free, come to the Heaven Prison, I'll take you on a tour, and you'll understand why I can put up with it." Chen Chen Guanlou said with a smile, while urging the bashful Wang Wu to eat.

Qi Qi Wuxiu, holding his wine cup, paused. "If that's the case, the Heaven Prison's environment is quite a bit better than the Imperial Prison's."

"You bet. The people inside the Imperial Prison—well, they've all got a bit of a... problem up here." Chen Chen Guanlou pointed at his head. "They like bloody, filthy scenes. At the Heaven Prison, I don't like that sort of thing. I require the laborers to clean every day—cells and corridors alike—keep them spotless, do my best to prevent epidemics. Environment changes with the people. The Imperial Prison's environment is terrible—that can only mean the people inside it are mentally unhealthy, they just like watching those unpleasant scenes."

"I think the Imperial Prison is fine!" Wang Wu suddenly piped up. "I can adapt to it."

Huh?

This kid's got unusual bones.

Chen Chen Guanlou said casually, "Ever thought about switching jobs, coming to serve at the Heaven Prison? You like bloody scenes—maybe you shouldn't be in the Embroidered Uniform Guard. Learn a trick or two from Old Zhang at the execution room, becoming an executioner might be your way out."

"Don't talk nonsense. Look at him—does he look like an executioner?" Qi Qi Wuxiu quickly cut in.

Chen Chen Guanlou raised his wine cup with a half-smile. "Don't look down on executioners. The executioners over at the Imperial Prison—skills aren't up to par. When interrogating prisoners they always like to make it a bloody mess, too horrible to look at, the scenes extremely brutal. Sometimes they even have to ask our Old Zhang at the Heaven Prison for a pointer or two.

Wang Wu, if you're willing to switch careers, come find me. I'll recommend you to Old Zhang, let Old Zhang personally take you on, teach you real skills. With those skills, you'll never have to worry about making a living for the rest of your life.

Forget about dynastic changes, new replacing old—the execution room always needs skilled, technical people. Once you've learned Old Zhang's craft, from then on you'll be a technical talent too. In the future, the Six Doors might even have to invite you to help interrogate prisoners."

Wang Wu seemed a little tempted, and secretly glanced at Qi Qi Wuxiu.

Qi Qi Wuxiu cursed. "I finally took on a disciple—do you think that was easy? Wang Wu, your ancestors weren't pig butchers, so why do you like a place like the Imperial Prison? Could it be, like Lou-ge'er said, that there's something wrong with your head!"

Wang Wu looked a bit aggrieved. "I, I, I like watching people slaughter pigs. I'm really good at slaughtering pigs. If Master won't take me on, I might really end up slaughtering pigs."

"Damn, you actually know how to slaughter pigs." Qi Qi Wuxiu's face was blank with disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me that before?"

"Master, you never asked!"

Qi Qi Wuxiu:...

So awkward!

Chen Chen Guanlou burst out laughing. "Look at how you handled this—you don't even know what your disciple is really good at. Him doing Embroidered Uniform Guard work with you has no future. Every day you're investigating high officials and nobles, and you can't just kill people whenever you want. His situation is suited for the execution room—he can vent. The prerequisite is becoming a technical talent first."

Qi Qi Wuxiu was thoroughly dumbfounded. "Let me think it over."

After the meal.

Qi Qi Wuxiu pulled Chen Chen Guanlou aside for a private word. "What did you mean earlier, about him needing to vent?"

Chen Chen Guanlou was rolling a cigarette.

He rolled two rustic cigarettes, handed one to Qi Qi Wuxiu, and the two of them blew smoke together.

He told him, "Didn't you see it? Your disciple is a little pervert—he likes seeing blood. If you hadn't taken him on, he'd very likely become a murderer in the future. You take him into the Embroidered Uniform Guard—the Embroidered Uniform Guard has rules and laws binding him, he can't get his release, and sooner or later he'll bring you a world of trouble you can't clean up with your abilities. His situation is best suited for the execution room—blood every day, free to play with knives. Every now and then up on the execution ground, officially chopping heads. A born executioner."