Chapter 84

“To answer the prison official’s question, I studied for two years but got nowhere.”

Hmm!

Prison Official Fan gave a solemn nod, then sighed, “Studying is truly difficult.”

Chen Guanlou’s eyes darted—he understood now. Prison Official Fan had studied for years and still hadn’t earned even a single title. No wonder he was willing to lower his pride and take up the post of prison official.

These days, making money is hard, and money is hard to make.

The prison official’s reputation is poor, but the pay is too good to pass up. The working conditions are decent—you don’t need to patrol the Celestial Prison every day. If nothing happens, you can go months without descending into the Celestial Prison. Drink tea in the office every morning, add a newspaper, and you’re set!

“You’ll all be serving together in the Jia-1 Prison. You’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other. Xiao Chen, give Fan Prison Official a rundown of the current situation in Jia-1 Prison—stick to the essentials.” Prison Warden Fan smiled and gave the order.

What counts as essential?

One: money. Two: people.

Master these two, and you master the core of the yamen. No one can escape your grasp.

Chen Guanlou pondered—he’d start with people.

He began tentatively, “Jia-1 Prison has a hundred cells…”

Seeing his listener pay close attention, he continued.

“There are prison guards… the squad leaders are… the rules are…”

He delivered a swift, concise summary of Jia-1 Prison’s entire setup.

Prison Warden Fan listened, once again feeling proud—he hadn’t misjudged Xiao Chen. The boy’s mind was sharp; his summary was clear, simple, understandable to anyone. Too blunt, though—lacked the refined tone of a scholar.

Prison Official Fan glanced at Prison Warden Fan, opened his mouth, hesitated. He wanted to ask how money flowed through the system, how the ledgers were kept. But then he thought better of it—asking so directly in front of his clan uncle would make him seem petty and greedy.

He decided to summon Chen Guanlou alone later to the office and probe him gently about the details. He needed to know exactly how much he’d take home each month—whether he kept a cut on the spot or got paid at month’s end.

He’d paid to get this position. Prison Warden Fan was only a clan uncle, not a blood uncle—no reason to help him for free.

He’d studied for years, failed every exam, even couldn’t pass the Tongsheng exam—he’d become the laughingstock of the clan. Even ten-year-olds in the clan passed the Tongsheng exam, but not him. He’d lost face and dignity. He couldn’t bear it anymore. With gritted teeth, he gave up twenty mu of irrigated fields and his pride, finally swaying his uncle, Prison Warden Fan, to secure him a post as a prison official in the Celestial Prison.

He’d promised Prison Warden Fan that for two years, he’d hand over two-tenths of his monthly income as a gratitude fee.

“This is the rule! I can’t break the Celestial Prison’s rules just because you’re my clan nephew. Don’t think I’m heartless—once you get familiar with the Celestial Prison, go ask around. Find out how much this Jia-1 Prison official post is really worth—it’s worth more, not less. If it were anyone else, I’d demand three-tenths. Since you’re my clan nephew, I’m only taking two. Do your job well, follow the old rules, don’t stir up trouble or give me headaches. If you’re unsure about anything, ask Master Li. If the guards below don’t obey you, send Xiao Chen to handle them. You just sit back and collect the silver.”

These were the words Prison Warden Fan had told him before he came to the Celestial Prison—each one dripped with the cruelty of society. Even among clan members, you needed silver to open doors—otherwise, don’t even speak of favors.

Parents who think themselves noble for sending their children to big cities to study and work, then take on all the relatives’ troubles and expect their children to solve them, pay out of pocket to earn face—these parents are ignorant and shallow. They struggle all their lives at the bottom, never grasping the true rules of society. They live only to borrow their children’s face, racking up debts of tens of thousands just to save face. Tragic and hateful!

Those who truly understand human relations and society’s rules will never spend their own money to solve others’ problems. Even brothers must keep clear accounts. Only a son deserves to be supported with both money and face.

After finishing business, Chen Guanlou quietly stepped out of the office and waited at the door.

Inside the office, Prison Warden Fan gave Prison Official Fan another warning: “You’ve just arrived—don’t think about doing anything. The Celestial Prison has little work to do. Best if nothing happens every day—that’s when everyone stays peaceful. Understood? Keep your distance from the officials locked up in Jia-1 Prison. Don’t even dream of currying favor. You’ll burn yourself. Remember: in the Celestial Prison, no news is good news. Don’t be clever and make small moves. Hmm. Do your duty well. Go.”

“Thank you, Uncle!”

“In the Celestial Prison, call me Prison Warden. Don’t get it wrong again.” Prison Warden Fan’s face hardened—he meant it.

Prison Official Fan shuddered and quickly corrected himself: “I humbly follow your orders, my lord.”

Only then did Prison Warden Fan smile. “Good. Do it this way from now on. Go—get familiar with your surroundings.”

Prison Official Fan bowed and stepped out of the office.

Seeing Chen Guanlou waiting outside, he immediately straightened his back, mimicking Prison Warden Fan’s air of authority.

Chen Guanlou hurried forward. “My lord, do you have time tonight? Myself and three other squad leaders have reserved a table at Zui Xiang Lou—we humbly beg your presence.”

Oh! On his first day, subordinates were already offering gifts. Prison Official Fan’s heart swelled with joy.

But he’d never been to the capital—he was curious. “What’s Zui Xiang Lou?”

Chen Guanlou glanced around, then whispered, “The girls there are famous in the capital—beautiful and flirtatious. They adore young talents like you, my lord.”

Prison Official Fan’s heart soared. He looked at Chen Guanlou with growing favor—Xiao Chen was truly thoughtful.

He beamed. “I have time, I have time. Come, follow me to the office—I’m new here, still have many questions.”

After chatting with Prison Official Fan, the time neared noon.

Chen Guanlou called Xiao Jin, handed him a silver ingot, and ordered: “Book a top-tier banquet at Zui Xiang Lou—a luxury private room, and pick the most alluring girls.”

“I’ll make sure it’s done. But what if the girls are already taken?”

The capital had too many wealthy men—the brothel girls never lacked patrons.

Chen Guanlou instructed him: “Find beautiful, well-behaved girls who know how to please. One must be famous. If they’re all unknowns, a good thing turns bad.”

He then handed Xiao Jin another silver ingot—better to spend extra than risk failure. He’d just gotten rid of Prison Official Wan—he couldn’t let a single sloppy dinner turn Prison Official Fan into a second Prison Official Wan.

Everyone pooled money for the banquet. Back in the duty room, he personally notified Li Dahong: “Tonight, we’re treating the new Prison Official Fan to dinner at Zui Xiang Lou—top tier.”

Li Dahong grumbled immediately: “Why not Guan Mei Lou? It’s half the price, same food and drink.”

Chen Guanlou gave him a cold look—he’d find a chance to plant doubt about Li Dahong in Prison Official Fan’s mind. He’d disliked this brat for a long time.

Being stingy was fine. But always grabbing advantages—that was the problem.