Chapter 46: Psychologist

When she opened her eyes again, she was back in the dormitory. Qiao Yinuo was packing her luggage with a clatter. Su Mian covered her head with a pillow.

So annoying.

Might as well stay in the instance.

If you don't like someone, just kill them.

Of course, she was just venting. She calmed down for a while and then stretched her messy head out from the quilt, then pulled open the bed curtain.

She discovered that the bed opposite, which was used to stack Qiao Yinuo's miscellaneous items, had all been cleared away.

"Next semester, a transfer student is moving into our dormitory."

Qiao Yinuo wiped her sweat and pushed her suitcase to the side.

"I called you for a long time and you didn't wake up. Are you feeling unwell again?"

Seeing Su Mian not speaking, she was used to it. She put on her backpack without saying goodbye, closed the door with a "bang," and dragged her luggage out.

The winter break officially began.

The phone dinged twice; it was a message from her mother. She clicked it immediately.

【Mommy: Mian Mian, did you finish your exams? When are you coming back?】

【Mommy: Cute baby attacking. jpg】

Su Mian felt disgusted as soon as she saw this kind of baby expression, and deleted it smoothly before sliding down.

【Mommy: Oh right, don't forget to go see Dr. Ma before coming back.】

【Mommy: Mom is waiting for you to come back.】

【Mommy: Cute baby kiss. jpg】

... Who invented this kind of ugly expression pack.

She replied "okay," and went to flip through Dr. Ma's phone number.

This Dr. Ma was her psychologist. She had to go to the local hospital to see her once every month.

It's funny to say, a person who has psychological problems herself is playing a psychologist in the instance.

She didn't know when

But only Su Mian herself knew that she actually detested the people and things around her; inside, she was prone to snapping and irritability, yet her calm and indifferent exterior made others think she was fine.

That was until she was diagnosed with high-functioning depression (possessing good social functioning and performing excellently, while being weary and irritable on the inside).

Moreover, the situation was severe, and no one knew when she had developed it, because it seemed she had been this way since childhood.

Su Mian swiped away the chat box with her mother, her fingertips pausing for a moment on Dr. Ma's name before she tapped to dial.

The call was answered quickly, and Dr. Ma's voice was gentle and familiar: "Su Mian? Are your exams over? Can you come over at three o'clock tomorrow afternoon?"

"Mm," Su Mian replied.

"Alright then, see you tomorrow."

Dr. Ma seemed long accustomed to her reticence and hung up the phone efficiently.

The next afternoon, at the City Mental Health Center.

Su Mian walked familiarly to the clinic at the end of the third floor.

"Please come in."

Dr. Ma looked up from behind her computer; she was a woman in her forties wearing thin-rimmed glasses, with a smile that was just right—neither overly enthusiastic nor distant.

"Come, sit."

Routine questioning, simple scales, and some seemingly casual conversation.

Dr. Ma observed her while taking notes.

Throughout the process, Su Mian remained taciturn, answering one sentence for every three asked and occasionally frowning, but compared to her complete withdrawal and subtle resistance during her last visit, today she was at least able to complete the entire process smoothly.

As the examination drew to a close, Dr. Ma put down her pen and leaned forward slightly, her eyes behind the lenses carrying a hint of scrutiny mixed with a touch of relief.

"Su Mian," she said, her voice softening further.

"Based on today's assessment, your emotional indicators are more stable than last time, and your anxiety and hostility factor scores have also dropped slightly."

"Although they are still high, the trend is positive."

She paused, carefully observing Su Mian's expression, "Recently... have you encountered any... relatively positive people or things? Even if it's a very small change."

Su Mian's eyelashes trembled; she shifted her gaze from the pothos plant to the gray, hazy sky outside the window.

The bizarre scenes in the instance, the bloody slaughter, and that tall man in a hospital gown flashed rapidly through her mind.

Could this count as "positive"? She tugged at the corner of her mouth but ultimately said nothing.

Dr. Ma waited for a while, and seeing she had no intention of speaking, she did not press further, instead smiling to herself as if this were great news.

"Good, good, improvement is a good thing; we must strike while the iron is hot."

She pulled out a sticky note and lowered her head to write something.

"I previously suggested you get more contact with nature, but you said you weren't interested. How about trying small animals this time? Interacting with small animals can effectively alleviate anxiety and boost positive emotions."

Dr. Ma pushed the written note over; besides what she had just said, it also contained the name of an app and a simple smiley face symbol.

"And this, an AI chat software. It's done quite well. I know you don't like to confide in people and find it troublesome, so just treat it as a tree hole to vent; don't keep everything bottled up inside."

Su Mian glanced at the childish app icon and name and gave a "Mm."

She didn't look very resistant, but Dr. Ma knew that wasn't what she was thinking inside.

She sighed, "Give it a try, it won't do any harm."

Dr. Ma insisted, "We'll be in touch next semester; take care on your way home."

Leaving the hospital, the cold winter wind whipped against her face, blowing her hair into a mess.

Su Mian crumpled the note into a ball, clutched it in her palm, and walked to the trash can.

She paused for a second, but ultimately didn't throw it away, stuffing it into her coat pocket instead.

She boarded the bus back to school, listlessly admiring the streetscape rapidly receding outside the window.

The bus swayed and arrived at the stop.

Su Mian got off, wrapped her coat tightly around herself, and walked toward the dormitory building with her head down.

The campus was more than half empty, and the cold wind swirled dead leaves on the ground, adding to the desolation.

Just as she reached the quiet path on the side of the dormitory building, a soft, thin cat sound suddenly came from the holly bushes nearby.

It was the calico cat that often stayed under the dormitory building.

Su Mian didn't stop walking.

"Meow~" The sound followed her, getting closer and closer.

She glanced over and saw a chubby calico cat that had emerged from the bushes at some point, trotting along at her heels, looking up with its furry little face, its round amber eyes watching her unblinkingly, the tip of its tail swaying gently.

It was likely that everyone in the school had left, and no one was feeding it.

She took a quick glance and then withdrew her gaze, hurrying into the dormitory building wrapped in her trench coat.

But the calico followed closely, its short legs moving fast, maintaining a distance that was neither too far nor too near, its meows coming one after another.

On a whim, the moment she was about to step into the building entrance, Su Mian's pace slowed down.

She looked down at the calico, which wasn't afraid of people at all and was even trying to rub its head against her pant leg, her mind going blank.

Yet her hand, as if it had a consciousness of its own, slowly reached out, her fingertips landing on the cat's head, which looked exceptionally soft.

The touch was warm, the fur delicate.