Chapter 251: Poke Poke You

Hearing this, Jiang Nian's expression instantly crumbled.

"What the hell?"

Li Hua burst out laughing on the spot and opened his mouth with a classical allusion.

"I know an unofficial history. It says Guan Yu carelessly lost Jingzhou. But this 'Jing-zhou' is not that Jingzhou — it's when the men in the army played around at night in the tents, in a basin—"

Jiang Nian cut him off. "That's too far-fetched, shut your mouth!"

In the sixth group, there were two of Lin Dong's roommates — Ceng You and Wu Jun Gu.

At this moment, the two of them were also completely stunned, mouths slightly agape, staring at Lin Dong with looks of utter shock.

They wondered, could it be that after they fell asleep, their dorm had some hidden easter egg?

"Who's in your top bunk?" Li Hua asked curiously.

"Can't say." Lin Dong grinned sheepishly. "But that top-bunk bro really was careless — woke me up in the middle of the night and didn't even bother to wipe it off."

Saying this, riddle-master Lin Dong left with a smile.

Jiang Nian and the others stood there like wooden chickens.

What kind of brother sleeps in my top bunk — that's absolutely outrageous.

"It wasn't me, don't look at me." Ceng You, sensing Jiang Nian's gaze, was getting a bit heated. "Discriminating against my looks, huh? I don't sleep in his top bunk."

Wu Jun Gu also immediately clarified, "I sleep in the bottom bunk."

"Who else is in your dorm?" Li Hua asked curiously.

"Don't ask about that — dorm privacy." Ceng You didn't want to say.

The two of them definitely knew, but neither spoke up. After all, this kind of explosive news was just too earth-shattering; speaking carelessly could easily offend people.

During the middle of the morning language-arts reading, Old Liu came over to inspect. Seeing nothing unusual in the class, he quickly left again.

As the morning self-study period was about to end, Lin Dong strolled over to the sixth group carrying a bowl of eight-treasure porridge. He raised his eyebrows at Ceng You and Wu Jun Gu, and said smugly,

"Look, the eight-treasure porridge Brother Wei gave me."

Ceng You: "."

Wu Jun Gu: ". This porridge, huh?"

"What else?" Lin Dong explained. "He was secretly eating eight-treasure porridge in the middle of the night, slurp slurp slurp like a rat, and it woke me right up."

"The moment I opened my eyes, the porridge dripped onto my bed edge."

Jiang Nian: "Then why the hell did you bring it up?"

The spot against the wall.

Zhang Ningzhi glanced curiously at Jiang Nian, unable to understand what they were talking about. But judging by their expressions, it was clearly nothing proper.

Forget it, not listening, not listening.

She flipped open her language textbook, ready to get back to the lesson. She carefully read through every annotation under the classical Chinese text, and as she flipped, she came across "Spring River, Flowers, Moon Night."

Just then, the morning self-study dismissal bell rang.

Zhang Ningzhi poked Jiang Nian with her finger. Seeing no reaction, she increased the force.

Poke poke!

"Hiss~" Jiang Nian sucked in a sharp breath.

Zhang Ningzhi was a bit uncertain, and asked hesitantly,

"Does it hurt a lot?"

Jiang Nian glanced at her and said with a straight face,

"Of course it does — poke yours."

"Oh." Zhang Ningzhi curled up into a ball, her arms pressed tightly against her body, her face full of panic. "But you can only use the same force I just used."

"That won't do, I have to add a little."

"Why!"

"A deskmate gets a twenty-percent boost — you don't know the Rules for Primary and Secondary School Students?" Jiang Laogou spun a yarn that completely baffled the little girl.

"Oh, then go ahead."

Jiang Nian poked Zhang Ningzhi's arm through her clothes, very lightly.

"Alright, what did you just call me for?"

"Never mind, hmph." Zhang Ningzhi was a bit petty too, deciding not to talk to the annoying brat for the entire morning. "Go play by yourself!"

Li Hua lay on his desk, but he wasn't actually asleep at all. He peeked with one eye, spying on Jiang Nian — this scheming bastard — actually flirting with a female classmate.

Students don't do their problems, they just crowd around a girl and giggle.

Deserves to be killed!

Jiang Nian lay down, face down to sleep, and came face to face with Li Hua.

Each of them spied on the other with one eye.

"Is your brain broken?" Jiang Nian said coldly.

"Hard to say."

"Then let's just stay stuck like this. You'll turn away eventually when you can't take it." Jiang Nian wasn't fazed at all. "I can keep watch with one eye and sleep with the other."

"Keep watch my ass, I don't believe it." Li Hua stared fixedly at Jiang Nian.

Ten minutes passed, and Li Hua gave up.

Not because Jiang Nian actually had the ability to rest one eye and keep watch with the other, but because he felt this bastard really could, just for the sake of one sentence, refuse to sleep during the break.

The first class began, and Old Liu burst in like a whirlwind.

He plugged in a USB drive, opened the folder, and rattled through it at full speed — finished in two minutes.

"Five classical poems, that's all five of them. Class rep, come up later and put on the PPT." Old Liu's hurried actions drew the attention of everyone in the class.

"Teacher, where are you going?" Li Hua was the first to stand up.

"Ah, this—your teacher's got some things to take care of." Old Liu said vaguely. "You don't listen during regular class anyway, and this concerns your teacher's personal happiness. Just look at the PPT."

Hearing that, Jiang Nian—who had been about to brush up on his combined-science problems—set down his pen.

You don't want to lecture? Then I want to listen.

Got a date first thing in the morning? Then you won't be going, because this class is going to be the most attentive one I'll sit through in my entire Gao San year. Not only will I listen, I'll take notes.

"Teacher, I didn't understand the classical poem."

Hearing that, Old Liu looked at Jiang Nian, his face full of puzzlement.

"Who'd want to listen to a few classical poems that won't even show up on the college entrance exam? Raise your hand and let me see."

Rustle rustle—nearly the whole class raised their hands.

Old Liu put on a puzzled look, then instantly looked vexed.

In fact, the appreciation of those five classical poems was a classic template from the college entrance exam. Even two class periods might not be enough to finish, and he had originally planned to lecture them in careful, thorough detail.

Besides, he didn't actually have anything going on—it was purely a whim that struck him early in the morning during class.

He knew the students of Class Three too well: a hundred and eight jin of contrariness in their spines. They'd absolutely refuse to let a teacher slip out earlier than they could, and if he didn't want to teach, they'd want to listen all the more.

They'd even actively ask questions after class—the whole point being mutual torment.

Old Liu looked around and let out a sigh.

"Fine then, since that's how it is, let's have class. Once everyone's pretty much got it, I'll take off."

In the classroom, the students' eagerness to learn ran high.

"I don't have to listen, but you can't not teach—otherwise I won't sleep soundly."

"Teacher, I can tell you're in a hurry, but don't rush."

"Suddenly Chinese doesn't feel so boring. I'm terrifyingly studious right now."

"Tch. Time to savor the ancient aesthetics of the East. *(takes off glasses)*"

The reaction below the podium was exactly what Old Liu had wanted.

He turned toward the blackboard with a speechless look, hiding the smile that flashed across his face, cleared his throat, and said in a tone of feigned helplessness.

"Then I'll give a rough overview. The first poem—"

Two class periods passed, and Old Liu was starting to regret it.

Two hours without a break, and the moment class ended someone came up to ask questions.

Especially those few from the sixth group—normally not a single one of them listens, but now they were putting on an act, taking turns coming up to ask this and that, and they absolutely wouldn't let him go to the bathroom.

It was already the long break between classes, and they'd dragged things out by a full twelve minutes.

If it hadn't been for the running-exercise bell nearly dying out, and the whistle over there about to blow itself hoarse, they probably still wouldn't have stopped.

"Jiang Nian, stop asking questions—go run the exercise." Old Liu was impressed too. Were these two annoying to the bone? "Li Hua, you stop waiting around too—go run the exercise."

Lin Dong, who was queued up behind, wasn't happy—he just wanted to dodge the running exercise.

"Teacher, I'm so studious!"

Studious, my ass!

Old Liu forcibly shooed the whole lot of them away, and when he counted carefully there turned out to be as many as eight or nine.

If the grade-level supervisors caught wind of this, one deduction could cost him a whole day's wages. Like that homeroom teacher from Class Four—his bonus this month was probably gone.

Tsk tsk, pitiful.

The students of Class Four are this unruly?

By comparison, although the students in his own class were a bit eccentric, at least they didn't cause him any trouble. The class officers were capable, and he didn't have to worry about a thing.

Quiet, peaceful days.

The sports field.

Members of the student council, wearing armbands, were guarding the gate, not letting latecomers sneak in.

"Ahem, Xiao Wang."

"Yes, bro? Go ahead."

"Don't let anyone through now. When someone comes, register them."

"Got it, bro."

"Mm." The little student-council officer clasped his hands behind his back, nodded in satisfaction, and just as he turned his head, suddenly spotted a few figures running toward them. "People are coming—register them."

"Got it."

"Hah, what's there to be nervous about? No backbone." The little officer stood with his hands behind his back, an otherworldly air about him. "Enough, take this—it's my last ripple."

Saying that, he was about to demonstrate in front of his subordinates how to stop the incoming people.

"You few!" he barked in a lowered voice.

However, those few didn't slow their running steps.

One person nimbly swept past him, kicking up a gust of wind. Another simply shoved him aside roughly, still shouting arrogant words from his mouth.

"Get lost—you dare block people from Class Four?"

Two more broke through the blockade, and another left a parting line.

"You okay?"

The last one took a flying stride past his side and added a line.

"Idiot, go get your brain checked."

In the sunlight, the running boys looked like a flock of joyful white doves. They leaped down from the mottled stone steps and, in two or three strides, melted into the running-exercise formation.

The little student-council officer slowly came back to his senses, only to find he couldn't track those few people at all.

The student formations began running in circles, end to end.

"Bro, are you okay?"

The student council aide was furious, hopping mad.

"Is there no justice left! No school rules left!"

Qian Bao had just stepped into the classroom and got startled.

"Why do you all look so listless?"

She walked to the door to check the schedule and asked curiously.

"You guys have back-to-back math classes first thing in the morning?"

"Teacher, the previous period was a language arts class."

"A language arts class?" Qian Bao was quite surprised. "If it was a language arts class, why do you all look so utterly drained?"

The classroom erupted into a babble of explanations; Jiang Nian, utterly bored, yawned.

He was about to sleep.

Just as he was about to lie down, the system panel suddenly popped up.

Before he could look, a girl suddenly appeared at the door. Probably a student council aide, she knocked on the classroom door, dropped a line, and left.

"Students on the psychological assessment list, go to the psychology office for a meeting!"

Hearing this, Yu Zhiyi looked up, then turned to look at Jiang Nian.

"Jiang Nian."

Up at the podium, Qian Bao was slightly taken aback, watching Jiang Nian rise from his seat.

"Mm, you?"

Seeing the obvious distrust in Qian Bao's eyes, Jiang Nian felt a bit annoyed.

Class Three, eleven groups — all resting on my shoulders!

"Teacher, if you keep staring at me like that, I'm gonna feel depressed."