Chapter 285: Baby Zhizhi Was Born in the Year of the Dog

During morning self-study, Baby Zhizhi walked into Class 3 and made a round.

She figured she had to practice driving at noon, so she needed to head over right after second period.

Working in a small county town without a driver's license really was inconvenient; sometimes she wished she could drive herself to work.

She couldn't rely on being shuttled back and forth forever—it was too much hassle.

Besides, the female teachers in the English office basically all had driver's licenses. Even if they only drove a few times a year, it was good to keep one around to offset demerit points.

Of course, all of this hinged on the premise that she could pass the test.

What daydream is this noob having?

Already making plans.

In any case, to break this curse, she decided to charge into battle once more.

Will she win?

Tap tap tap.

Baby Zhizhi's steps were light, but after weaving through Class 3 for a while she switched to covering her nose and mouth with her hand.

"Open the windows."

In the back row, Jiang Nian watched that scene from afar and immediately burst with joy.

"Baby Zhizhi's sense of smell really is sharp."

Zhang Nianzhi nodded and chimed in.

"The English teacher in my old class was the same way—the first thing she'd do when she came in during winter was make us open the windows."

Hearing that, Li Huarui dropped a sharp comment.

"Baby Zhizhi was born in the year of the dog."

"Teacher! Li Hua said you—" Jiang Nian's opening move was to tattle.

"Holy sh*t!" Li Hua was scared out of his wits and quickly reached out to pin Jiang Nian down. "Don't go slinging mud at me, I meant like a Westie."

"What's a Westie?" Jiang Nian asked, puzzled.

"I know, it's a kind of dog that looks like a stuffed toy." Zhang Nianzhi hid the lower half of her face behind a book and said sneakily, "Really cute."

"Yeah?" Jiang Nian glanced at her and asked, "Does your family have one?"

Baby Zhizhi instantly looked miserable. "My mom doesn't like pets."

Jiang Nian got it. "Oh, so she just raises you, right?"

Immediately, his arm got pinched.

"You're the one!"

It didn't hurt—if anything, it felt a little nice.

"Alright, raising me works too." Jiang Nian went along with her words, looking completely indifferent. "Then I wouldn't have to go to school at all—straight to cloud nine."

Li Hua couldn't hold it in. "Isn't that just captivity play?"

Huang Fang in the front row, which was extremely rare, turned around, lips pressed together, unable to hold back a laugh.

"What's captivity play?"

"Hahaha!!" The three of them burst out laughing together.

Hearing that, Zhang Nianzhi was so embarrassed her toes curled into the floor.

These people were way too mean.

And Empress Fangfang too, learning to be bad right along with them!

First period, English class.

Baby Zhizhi propped herself up with one hand and suddenly felt a bit weary. Subconsciously she thought of Jiang Nian's good points and almost wanted to light up her trusted general to substitute again.

Jiang Nian was doing problems, picking up the physics questions he'd set aside yesterday and writing them out again.

Racking his brain, killing time.

Suddenly, he heard Baby Zhizhi's voice drawing near, and looked up without thinking. Teacher and student locked eyes, and Baby Zhizhi gave him that you-know-what look.

Jiang Nian immediately leaned back and waved her off.

Yikes.

Baby Zhizhi was shameless enough—catching him to substitute for her and dressing it up as "coordinating."

Damn, can she "coordinate" ten percent of the salary over to me?

Seeing Jiang Nian refuse, she couldn't help but sigh silently. She kept circling the classroom while lecturing, and along the way caught someone playing with their phone in class.

"Lin Dong, what did I just say?"

"Huh?"

"How do you say 'cell phone' in English?"

"Teacher, I didn't bring one."

"Three, two—"

Lin Dong's face twisted in agony as he dug his phone out from inside his desk.

On the other side of the classroom.

"Tsk tsk, Dongzi's just lame." Ceng You in the corner shook his head, looking regretful. "I've still got a few cans of beer back at the dorm, I can save them for him."

"You guys drink in your dorm?" Jiang Nian asked curiously.

"Wu Jun Gu drank too."

Wtf?

Wu Jun Gu was caught off guard and turned to look at Ceng You. His face went red, and after a long while he squeezed out one sentence.

"That was because I couldn't sleep."

After class, Lin Dong rushed over in a hurry.

"Bro, help me get my phone back."

Jiang Nian had been about to lie down and sleep, but was dragged up by him, looking completely lost.

"Go find the English class rep, what's the point of coming to me?"

"He's useless." Lin Dong opened fire on the spot, right to his face.

The English class rep Zhao Hao, who was passing by, couldn't help but sprout a few huge question marks above his head.

"??? Not gonna lie, bro, I can't agree with that."

"Get lost, no room for you to talk." Lin Dong shoved him aside, speaking against the clock, "If I get it back now, my phone can still be saved."

"Once Old Liu starts asking questions, I won't get my phone back until next month."

Jiang Nian thought about it and agreed.

"I'll give it a try."

"Thanks, bro, a good man with a hundred and eight kidneys." Lin Dong's face was full of excitement.

The English class rep coughed once, "In my opinion—"

Lin Dong turned his head, "Scram!"

"Ah, alrighty then."

Ten-minute break between classes.

The corridor was still cold, sunlight hitting the end of the railing. Hardly anyone came out for fresh air and a chat; aside from those going to the bathroom, basically everyone was lying in the classroom sleeping.

Jiang Nian went downstairs all the way, ran to the English teacher's office to get the phone. Too lazy to play word games—with this kind of relationship, why beat around the bush? —he just reached out his hand.

"Teacher, the phone."

Qian Bao was sitting at her seat drinking hot water, nearly choked, and glanced at him.

"You're Lin Dong?"

Jiang Nian said, "I'll lecture through half a class period of test papers."

Hearing this, Qian Bao raised an eyebrow, pressed her lips together, and held back the corners of her mouth that were about to curve up.

"Take it from the drawer, get it yourself, just grab whatever you see."

Steal half a day of leisure from a busy life, then steal a little more money from a busy life.

Rounding up, it equals freeloading the school's salary.

Jiang Nian retrieved Lin Dong's phone, and along the way swiped two packs of Xixile jelly. He thought to himself that Qian Bao eating this stuff seemed childish, but him eating it was just right.

Back in the classroom, he returned the phone to Lin Dong.

"Here."

Lin Dong was overjoyed, grateful beyond words, and left.

"You really got it back?" Li Hua was dumbfounded.

"Nope, I bought a new one." Jiang Nian brushed him off casually, "Put today's defeat drink in my desk, I'll come back this afternoon to drink it."

"Damn!" Li Hua thought to himself that this guy really knew how to poke every sore spot.

Second period, Qian Bao taught for half a class, then let Jiang Nian go up to lecture the test papers for the remaining half.

In the blink of an eye, class was over.

Both of them were delighted, just waiting for class to end to go practice driving.

Qian Bao hastily assigned homework and left; Jiang Nian also got up as the broadcast for morning exercises played.

He turned his head.

Zhang Ninzhi was still sitting in her original seat, sneaking a peek at him.

"Leaving?"

"Yep, what else?" Jiang Nian whistled, looking completely relaxed, "Never really noticed before, but now I realize skipping class feels really great."

"Oh!" Zhang Ninzhi was a little unhappy hearing this.

She thought, you're having a great time, but what about me?

Jiang Nian saw her brow furrowed, and directly slapped a pack of Xixile jelly into her hand.

"No need to envy me, bye-bye."

Zhang Ninzhi: ""

School gate.

Jiang Nian got into Coach Tian Yongsheng's car, gazing at the street bathed in platinum-gold sunlight, and couldn't help but sigh.

"Holy crap, it's really a bright sunny day."

Vroom vroom!!

Coach Tian had just started the car, and hearing this couldn't help but say.

"Boss, do you scholars really talk this uncouthly?"

Jiang Nian fastened his seatbelt in the passenger seat, thought for a moment, and said.

"Fuck, so sunny day? How does that feel?"

Coach Tian drove one-handed, watching the right-side rearview mirror while giving a thumbs-up, affirming.

"Sounds much better that way."

"Coach, you've got a bit of humor in you too."

"Hahaha, others say the same thing." Coach Tian floored it, and with a vroom shot straight out, "Today we'll get familiar with the car first."

Twenty minutes later.

At the driving school grounds, master and disciple faced each other in silence.

Qian Bao: "You snuck out during class?"

Jiang Nian was equally dumbfounded, thinking to himself how the person practicing driving with him could possibly be Qian Bao.

"Ah, I took the day off."

Hearing that, Qian Bao couldn't hold it in any longer and reached straight for his arm, giving it a pinch.

"You're about to take the college entrance exam, and instead of studying properly you sneak out to practice driving? Do your parents know? No, I have to call your parents."

"Hey, wait a sec." Seeing that she was about to throw her weight around as a teacher, Jiang Nian cut off the spell in time. "Teacher, this isn't a school."

"So what?"

"By seniority, we're both students here." Jiang Nian turned to look at Coach Lao Tian, coughed once, signaling the man to come over and bail him out. "Practicing driving is important."

Coach Lao Tian truly lived up to being the driving school's manager—or rather, a VIP gold-medal Si Sect instructor.

Originally he had just been watching from afar, giving the master and disciple enough time for a heart-to-heart. Seeing the scene turn chaotic and Jiang Nian cough, he immediately took the hint.

"Bosses, whatever it is, talk it out nicely. Let's practice driving first."

Qian Bao was a little helpless, but still pointed at Jiang Nian, the warning in her eyes thick and fierce.

"I'll deal with you later."

F*ck my life.

Jiang Nian was speechless for a moment, thinking to himself that the county town was just too damn small. How could he take leave to sneak out and practice driving, only to run into his English teacher who had just finished class?

He squatted on the ground pulling weeds, watching Qian Bao bend over to adjust the seat.

The classic nursing-bottle style of driving.

With a clack, the seat fell straight back.

Jiang Nian said with a grin, "Teacher, it's getting cold. Want me to bring you a blanket?"

"Get lost!"

"You got it."

Qian Bao was clearly a step ahead of him, already practicing Subject Two. But fundamentally, the two of them were nearly identical in progress.

Vroom—the car started.

Bang—the car stalled.

Jiang Nian couldn't hold it in and burst out laughing.

"Hahaha!!! It stalled!"

After a frantic scramble, Qian Bao stuck her head out the car window, embarrassed and furious.

"Keep laughing and I'll beat you to death!"

Jiang Nian scratched his head, his shoulders shaking nonstop.

"No more giggles."

A normal instructor would have blown up by now. Or at least scowled, looking utterly speechless. But Qian Bao was a VIP, so Coach Lao Tian told a bald-faced lie.

"This car needs maintenance, it stalls easily."

Hearing that, Qian Bao regained her confidence.

"Exactly."

Tian Yongsheng put on a show of fiddling with the dashboard for a few seconds, then spoke up.

"Fixed it. Boss, give it another try."

Qian Bao was easy to fool. Both hands on the steering wheel, eyes forward, she let out a soft breath, thinking to herself she absolutely could not let Jiang Nian look down on her.

Otherwise once she got back, who knows what she'd say about herself in front of her students.

Haha, the English teacher is so dumb.

Right, right.

A dumb-dumb English teacher, the English she speaks is all dumb-dumb.

That kind of thing, absolutely not allowed!!

"This time I can definitely do it!!" Qian Bao pressed one foot on the clutch, one on the brake, slowly pulling away. "Didn't stall, that's great."

Tian Yongsheng in the passenger seat glanced sideways. He didn't know why this teacher liked to mutter to herself while driving. But respect the boss—if she wants to mutter, let her mutter.

Jiang Nian was thoroughly entertained. Qian Bao was truly terrible at driving.

Just as she was about to turn the steering wheel left, she turned it half a turn and then stopped. Then watching the car keep going straight, she immediately went blank with terror.

Fortunately, with Tian Yongsheng's patient guidance, she stumbled her way through the reverse parking of Subject Two. Then came the other items, also stumbling along.

Stalling on the slope, taking the S-curves in a straight line—Jiang Nian was in stitches.

Getting out of the car was already over ten minutes later; the driving could only be described as unbearable to watch. At this level, forget taking the test, even driving around the practice lot was embarrassing.

"Boss Jiang, your turn!" Coach Lao Tian didn't get out of the car.

Qian Bao got out of the driver's seat and bumped right into Jiang Nian, letting out a humph.

"First time here?"

"You bet, I just came to take a look." Jiang Nian figured it was better to stay humble, so he threw in a few soft words before Qian Bao finally agreed not to tell his parents.

"Fine, go on then." Qian Bao said.

"Okay."

Once Jiang Nian walked off, Qian Bao narrowed her eyes.

She had just heard that this was Jiang Nian's first time touching a car, and a few wicked thoughts couldn't help but pop into her head—would Jiang Nian buckle his seatbelt into the passenger seat?

Or stall the moment he started the car? Have the seat fall back?

Hee, really looking forward to it.

Friendly book recommendation: "In the City, Loading the Zombie System"

【Zombie Home System loaded successfully】

【Weak little zombie, this is a post-apocalyptic world where the human race has multiplied to an astonishing degree. The horror of humanity far exceeds your imagination. To overturn human civilization once again, as the only zombie left in existence, you must disguise yourself well, develop in secret, and strive to infect more of your kind…】

【Warning, warning: ahead is a female human with strong aggressive tendencies. Beware the red-soled, black-uppered high heels beneath her feet — they can easily pierce through your brain. Survive, and you will gain unexpected benefits!】

"The only zombie left? No… I'm a human, System-bro!"

As a human of pure bloodline, Fang Yi was a little dumbfounded.

—

On this day, Fang Yi, nearly thirty and facing the crisis of unemployment, set the gears of fate in motion.

PS: This book is also known as "This Zombie System Is Way Too Cautious" and "Little Zombie, You're Already Surrounded by Humans"