Chapter 32: Must Be Pretty Important to You, Right?

"Hey, what did you do over National Day?" Jiang Nian played the straight man.

The class change had already been two days ago, and although a three-day National Day holiday had immediately followed, you still hadn't made any friends in your new class—truly a case of social anxiety taken too far.

What? Are there relatives from your family group chat in the class? Or is your homeroom teacher your cousin?

Zhang Ningzhi was the textbook social anxiety patient—the type who, when walking alone, would definitely play with their phone, tapping open various apps over and over, pretending to be very busy.

Using it to dodge eye contact with everyone, the type who would absolutely never voice-call when they could just send a message.

Wanting to order food but the server hadn't noticed, so she could stand in place doing ten minutes of mental preparation. Finally mustering the courage to squeak out, "Excuse me~ may I ask~"

Going to the bathroom, unable to pee whenever someone was in the next stall... a girl.

"I went to Dali with my parents and saw Erhai Lake." Zhang Ningzhi had finally found someone familiar to chat with, and the young lady seemed especially excited.

"What about you?"

Jiang Nian wasn't an introvert, not exactly socially anxious, but facing such a simple counter-question he still hesitated for a second.

You went to Dali, I stayed home squatting—what can I say?

Should I say that I successfully conquered lust at home for three days, no Daoist temple involved? Isn't that super awesome? Congrats on earning the achievement: willpower surpassing 99% of pure-hearted male high schoolers!

He thought for a moment, then tossed out, "Studying."

One sentence and the atmosphere instantly froze; Zhang Ningzhi awkwardly changed the subject.

"Which middle school did you go to, Number One or Number Two?"

"Number Two." Jiang Nian wondered, does my record look like it came out of Number One?

"Yay, me too! Who's your homeroom teacher?" Zhang Ningzhi was happy that the conversation could continue, not noticing Jiang Nian's odd expression.

"Um, you're almost getting the full set of answers to my QQ verification questions out of me."

Oh great, so you little punk want to steal my account, huh?

"Ah! Sorry....... I didn't mean it like that." Zhang Ningzhi's face turned red as she apologized softly, "My QQ verification questions aren't this one, so I didn't realize."

Jiang Nian lay on the desk, propping his head up with his hand as he looked at her, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly.

Baby Zhizhi really can't take a joke, already blushing? If I said something dirty at this moment, she probably wouldn't be able to sleep tonight after going home, right?

"Jiang Nian, stop bullying her." A girl with a baby-faced look walked over, standing on Zhang Ningzhi's side, "I can't even watch anymore."

There are always some girls in class who are incredibly shy when speaking at the podium, but online they comment like perverts possessed. (Hehe, heaven flips me the middle finger, I hold the middle finger and sit down.)

Still hehe-ing, the moment they open their mouths in private they make people's hearts go yellow.

Yao Bei Bei was exactly that type of girl, and because of her unique bubblegum-blowing technique, Jiang Nian risked great disapproval to pull out his phone in the classroom and add her QQ.

Chatting with this kind of girl, usually one or two sentences are normal, but by the third sentence you have to start ignoring the risks and keep listening.

"Jiang Nian is like this—three sentences and people lose all sense of direction." His deskmate Li Hua was a man of ordinary talent, the type with good grades but utterly unremarkable, in short "default factory settings."

The yearbook loved filling in movies and music (Jay Chou yyds), puppy love existed only in fantasy. His white moonlight was a quiet girl from middle school, with fair skin.

His only special trait was being especially neurotic—the type who, after watching a horror movie, would always be afraid someone was under the bed. So he'd simply sleep under the bed to cut off the trouble at its source.

"Right, Jiang Nian's fucking wicked." The fatty in the back seat, Ma Guojun, turned around, looking just like Baymax, wearing a pair of black-framed glasses, his nose bridge prone to getting oily, pushing up his glasses all day.

"Motherfucker, the other day he asked me, if my hands and feet got into a fight, which side would I lean toward helping. I said obviously I'd help the hands, feet aren't that important."

"Grass, then he hits me with, 'If the hands win, that must be pretty important to you, right?'"

"Damn it!" Ma Guojun pushed up his glasses and cursed, "From that moment on I knew it—if you pulled this bastard's heart out it'd definitely be all black."

Zhang Ningzhi was baffled, her face full of curiosity.

"What's wrong with the hands winning? That's not wrong."

The moment the words fell, Jiang Nian, Yao Bei Bei, Li Hua, and Ma Guojun all froze. They turned to look at Zhang Ningzhi in unison, expressions both awkward and strange.

"Ah? Why are you all... looking at me?"

"Hahaha!!!" Li Hua, Ma Guojun, and Jiang Nian, the three boys, were beside themselves with laughter.

Yao Bei Bei leaned close to Zhang Ningzhi's ear and whispered a few words; Zhang Ningzhi's pupils instantly contracted. Her face turned red in nearly three seconds, the blush spreading even to her neck.

"Hmph!" She shot Jiang Nian a glare, then whirled around and buried herself face-down on the desk, refusing to get up.

"Hahaha, holy shit, Jiang Nian you're really a dog!" Ma Guojun laughed so hard he was out of breath, gasping between fits, "Ah holy shit, laughing me to death."

Li Hua was laughing hard too, "Told you, this Jiang Nian guy is full of dirty tricks."

"Exactly, Zhizhi don't hang out with someone like this." Yao Bei Bei put her hands on her hips, summoning the confidence of an Asian woman, "Stay away from Jiang Nian, hang out with me."

Jiang Nian watched them going back and forth, then said to Yao Bei Bei.

"Hang out with you? The moment you open your mouth, I know the monthly yellow flag is definitely going to land in our class. Other people's emo is NetEase Cloud, your emo is E-straight-want-to-momo me?"

"I don't even know how you manage to say these things out loud."

After saying that, Jiang Nian turned to look at Li Hua.

"The language teacher asked you the multiple choice answer in class, I told you CCBCC, and you motherfucker stood up in class and said, 'Mulan weaves facing the door'?"

"And you, Ma Guojun." He called them out one by one, "I took you sneaking out of school to buy buns during break, and we ran into a few girls from a vocational school passing by the school gate."

"You motherfucker said 'the girls from the brothel are so pretty,' and good thing I ran fast, otherwise we'd have gotten beaten up for sure."

"Tsk tsk, the pot calling the kettle black, alright?" Jiang Nian crossed his arms and sneered, "You are all the elite of society, the pillars of the motherland."

"Holy shit, the way you put it!" Ma Guojun pushed up his glasses, opened his little mouth and started sweet-talking, Li Hua followed up to team-fight, trading barbs back and forth.

Yao Bei Bei fanned the flames on the side, even pulling Zhang Ningzhi in to oppose Jiang Nian together.

"Zhizhi, tell me, isn't this guy just rotten to the core?"

Zhang Ningzhi's face was red, she hesitated for a moment, then still nodded.

"Mm."

Jiang Nian, 1v4, not flustered at all, roasting them one by one; Zhang Ningzhi was caught in the middle, weak, pitiful, and helpless. As if saying "stop fighting, stop fighting, please stop."

Ring ring ring, self-study started, and the few were still trading barbs.

The great Dao has all been ground away.

Suddenly, in the gap while Jiang Nian was drinking water, a thin, wiry figure flashed in through the classroom's front door. Black-framed glasses, thinning hair — it was none other than their homeroom teacher, Liu Liangsong.

Liu Liangsong's face was dark as he stood at the lectern and roared.

"What's there to talk about! Think you did so well on the diagnostic test? The whole building, your class is the loudest — I could hear you from the hallway. The ones who were just talking — stand up!"

"Stand up!"