Chapter 42: [The Seven-Day Calamity!]
A "Evil-Dispelling and Auspiciousness-Bringing Talisman" ignited at his fingertip and instantly burned to ash!
As that wisp of green smoke curled upward, Chen Yan's eyes cleared completely!
The faint cold chill in his bone seams seemed to ease slightly; Chen Yan immediately opened his Heaven Eye to observe Qi, then silently calculated the "Fortune Cycle Formula." A few seconds later, he looked at the crown of his head...
... that mass of misfortune-black clouds, growing thicker and denser by the moment...
"I%... &&))(*"
Overcome with agitation, Chen Yan couldn't help but burst into curses.
Don't panic!
Don't panic yet!!
Chen Yan took two deep breaths, burned another "Evil-Dispelling and Auspiciousness-Bringing Talisman" for himself, then began carefully calculating his fortune according to the "Fortune Cycle Formula."
One minute later, Chen Yan was dumbfounded.
His Metal, Wood, Water, Fire, and Earth—the Five Elements—all injured!!
His fortune was perilous; a rough calculation revealed nothing but bloodshed disasters, continuous and unending...
A deeper calculation showed he suffered all five types of damage and seven kinds of injury, every single one of them!
If someone were to use the Qi-Observation Technique on Chen Yan right now...
... those minor calamities and major calamities would strike one after another!!
"Damn it..."
Chen Yan laughed in sheer fury.
I understand!
For some reason, after he cast the False Death Technique on Lu Sisi, deceiving the Heavenly Dao's fortune calculations, all her misfortunes departed from her...
But the Heavenly Dao's cycle of reincarnation, the law of cause and effect and retribution!
Had the retribution fallen on him, the very instigator?!
What about the promised surge in merit and the surge in cultivation?!
Huh?
Chen Yan carefully observed the Qi and recalculated, then slowly calmed his thoughts.
The bad news was: the calculation was correct; calamities loomed over him, and misfortune pressed down heavily!
The good news was: seven days!!
·
It seemed the Heavenly Dao's cycle had calculated all eighteen years of misfortune that Lu Sisi had endured and placed them all on Chen Yan's head.
Eighteen years of misfortune were to be dumped in one go, entirely upon Chen Yan, the instigator.
Using the algorithm of the "Fortune Cycle Formula," Chen Yan calculated that he had seven days of misfortune!
If he could not withstand the disasters within those seven days, then death would settle the account.
If he could survive those seven days without dying...
... then surviving a great calamity would bring supreme good fortune!
Only then would the fortune feedback, cultivation feedback, and merit feedback from resolving Lu Sisi's misfortunes arrive all at once.
"Damn it, is this Heavenly Dao trying to default on its payment, so it's finding a way to kill me?"
Chen Yan stroked his chin, pondering silently.
·
The first solution that instantly came to Chen Yan's mind was the 【False Death Technique】.
He would perform the same method on himself that he used on Lu Sisi: seal the six senses, fake death to deceive the Heavenly Dao's cycle, and the misfortune would naturally recede.
However...
He could not cast the technique on himself—not because of any rule restriction.
It was because... if he entered a false death and sealed his spiritual awareness, how could he then circulate his primal energy to burn the talisman for himself?
You can't expect a corpse to stand up and ignite itself for cremation.
But finding someone else with cultivation and Dao attainment...
Chen Yan didn't know a single person!
Moreover, time was of the essence; where could he possibly find one?
·
"I'll just grit my teeth and endure it; at most, it's only seven days.
At worst, it's seven days of 【Final Destination】."
One particularly good trait in Chen Yan's character was: the bigger the crisis, the calmer he became, and the more resolute he grew!
Having decided on a plan, he began to calculate rapidly.
A person under the weight of misfortune was, in essence, in the same state Lu Sisi had been in before.
Everything they did could bring bad luck, and moreover... eighteen years of misfortune were to feedback onto him within seven days.
It would be far more ferocious than Lu Sisi's daily life had been!
It would truly be just like in the movie 【Final Destination】.
Every minute, every moment, calamities threatening life could occur.
First, find a safe place; do not go outside!!
Avoid all 【scenarios】 where accidents might possibly happen.
Things like electricity, water, furniture with sharp corners, decorations that could fall and crush someone...
Chen Yan glanced at his own luxurious mansion...
Four huge characters: A dazzling array!!
All sorts of rich furniture and household goods... all sorts of home appliances... of course, there are also natural gas pipelines...
So luxurious! So complete!!
But it's also damn dangerous!!!
"No, this place is absolutely no good!!"
Chen Yan immediately abandoned the thought of staying at home any longer.
Suddenly, he remembered his short-term rental!!
Chen Yan immediately got to work, frantically packing up whatever items he could think of in the house!
·
Chen Yan made his preparations, got up, and headed out the door; before leaving, he slapped another 【Evil-Dispelling and Auspicious Talisman】 onto his body.
As always, it burned away in the Blinking Skill.
The chilling, evil aura of misfortune receded slightly.
However, Chen Yan felt that the talisman's effect was weakening!
Because his misfortune was gathering faster and faster. After burning each talisman, the effect lasted only about five minutes.
He hailed a ride-hailing car outside. Once inside, Chen Yan asked directly: "Driver, can I smoke in your car?"
"Uh..." The driver seemed about to say something, but Chen Yan immediately took out his phone and scanned the payment QR code stuck on the driver's seat.
Beep, one hundred!
The driver's attitude changed instantly: "Brother, want to light up? I'll light it for you?"
"Drive!" Chen Yan sat in the back seat and fastened his seatbelt.
Then, he lit a cigarette, while his hand hidden by his leg secretly slapped another talisman.
The talisman turned into green smoke, concealed within the swirling smoke of the cigarette; the driver noticed nothing.
·
From home to the short-term rental, the drive was no more than thirty minutes, yet Chen Yan slapped eight talismans on himself!
The talisman's effect was still continuing to fade!
Just before getting off the car, Chen Yan calculated that the talisman's effect could now last less than three minutes each time.
After getting off, he locked onto the direction of his short-term rental. Seeing that no one was around in the middle of the night, he boldly used the Command: Escape Technique!
His figure swept across the night streets like a gust of wind!
Covering a distance of several hundred meters, he rushed straight to the door of the short-term rental in one breath, fumbled for his keys, unlocked the door, entered, and then applied another talisman to himself.
The circuit breaker in the house, pull it down first! The fuses, take them all out directly!!
Tighten all the faucets...
No, that's not enough! Turn off the main water valve directly!!
Bring the quilt from the bed, take it apart, and wrap the corners of the cabinets and tables in the room! Use the leftover tape from before, seal it tightly, and make soft padding!
Glancing at the light on the ceiling, Chen Yan immediately took the light fixture down and threw out the fluorescent tubes!
Think again, think again... what else is there...
Food and drink...
There was still a box of instant noodles and a box of mineral water in the house that he had bought earlier, barely touched.
At worst, for the next seven days, I won't turn on the stove!
Chew instant noodles dry every day!
When thirsty, drink bottled water!
It will definitely be hard, but staying alive is the priority!
Right, Lu Sisi mentioned experience: you must chew slowly, otherwise you might choke to death or get something stuck in your windpipe.
Hmm, I also brought common medicines: anti-inflammatory, fever-reducing, for bruises and sprains...
I don't have any underlying health issues, no heart disease, no high blood pressure, nothing like that.
Misfortune, even if it's a magical attack, cannot create something out of nothing.
Chen Yan quickly ran through everything in his mind, then got up and locked all the doors and windows of the house tight!
The windows were already closed; these old-style windows even had metal bars, very sturdy.
Chen Yan thought for a moment, then directly dismantled a chair in the room with his bare hands, took out several wooden slats, and used a hammer and nails to seal the windows!
The ends of each wooden slat were also padded with material taken from the dismantled quilt.
He searched out everything in the room that could cause injury, all sharp objects.
Bowls, chopsticks, knives... everything was packed up.
Then, after wrapping them, he threw them into the trash bin outside the house!
Back inside, lock the main door from the inside!
"From now on, I'm not leaving this room!
I'll stand firm against the Heavenly Dao for seven days!!!"
·
On the first day, Chen Yan lay on the big bed all day!
All day long, he only got up to use the toilet a few times. The water valve was already closed, and there was still water stored in the toilet tank; Chen Yan tried to conserve it, flushing only after using the toilet several times.
However, he knew clearly that after flushing, the tank would be empty, and tomorrow there wouldn't even be water to flush the toilet.
He tried not to leave the bed; when hungry, he opened a pack of instant noodles, chewed it dry, and drank a small amount of water—eating and drinking less to reduce the number of times he had to use the toilet.
In the evening, he suddenly heard a squeaking sound coming from the corner of the room.
Looking down, he saw a rat zip away and vanish.
Chen Yan gave a cold snort, walked over, and gently pushed the cabinet aside…
Behind the wall, sure enough, a patch of plaster had cracked, and a section of electrical wire had already been gnawed apart by the rat!
"…Good thing I thought it through."
Chen Yan felt a secret relief in his heart.
He'd shut off every circuit breaker and removed every fuse!
Otherwise, an accident like 【rat gnaws through wire, short circuit, fire breaks out】 might have happened, right?
In the middle of the night, a shelf in the room suddenly came crashing down!
That shelf had originally held the household bowls, chopsticks, and kitchen knife.
With a fall like that, in normal times, shards of bowls — even the kitchen knife — might have gone flying…
And then, perhaps, would have struck the person still asleep on the bed!
The next day, Chen Yan went to the bathroom — pinching his nose as he went in. Two days without flushing, and even in this cold weather, the stench was already unbearable.
Just as Chen Yan had gotten up, the toilet's water tank suddenly dropped and smashed onto the floor, cracking open.
Chen Yan silently stared at the scene…
If he hadn't shut off the water valve, the water still inside the tank would have spilled everywhere.
He might have slipped, taken a fall…
He carefully examined the broken part of the tank — sure enough, the rubber gasket and screws had both aged and come loose.
"Hmph."
On the third day, Chen Yan was leaning against the bed, gnawing on instant noodles, when suddenly a section of ceiling plaster around the chandelier came loose and a length of wire dropped down!
Chen Yan looked up, silently staring at the dangling cord, his gaze grim.
He'd already taken down the chandelier earlier.
Otherwise, if the chandelier were still there, it would surely have landed on his head right now. And if it were still live with current… hmph!
The fourth day, the fifth day, the sixth day…
Until eleven o'clock on the night of the sixth day!
Chen Yan had barely closed his eyes — with something like a blade hanging at his neck, how could he possibly sleep?
He relied on daily seated meditation and circulating his vital essence, occasionally dozing off for a moment, but snapping awake again shortly after.
He'd turned off his phone, to conserve the battery and save it for the final day.
A power bank — the sort of thing that might explode or catch fire — he hadn't brought at all.
Chen Yan now couldn't even tell the exact time.
No matter how careful, careful, and more careful he was, he still ended up suffering a bit.
Earlier this afternoon, when he'd fallen asleep from exhaustion, the bed collapsed! A later check showed it was because the bed frame had aged.
At the time, in his sleep his body had given a rolling sideways tumble; fortunately, he was always on guard, and the moment he sensed something was wrong, he immediately threw himself aside!
And even though he'd reacted that fast, he still got hurt.
From the aged, collapsing bed frame, a nail had jutted out and stabbed straight into Chen Yan's hand…
If he hadn't blocked it with his palm, that nail would have gone into his eye.
He cleaned the wound with iodophor and alcohol — Chen Yan wasn't afraid of tetanus… he still had one last day of bad luck left.
Tetanus couldn't possibly set in within a single day.
Once tomorrow was over, every curse would be lifted!
·
On the seventh day, when the sun rose, Chen Yan was already disheveled, his face greasy with oil. His hair, unwashed for days, was slick and grimy.
Having gone days without brushing his teeth, he could feel the taste in his mouth was very unpleasant.
There was one last pack of instant noodles left — and that was already rationed out.
One bottle of mineral water remained.
These supplies should be enough to last through this final day.
By now, Chen Yan's body was actually already somewhat weakened.
For days he'd eaten little and drunk little, gnawing instant noodles and sipping cold water every day, and even that in reduced portions.
By now he was faint with hunger and weak in body, even though he kept circulating his vital essence to nourish his frame without pause.
But… after all, he hadn't yet cultivated to the realm of Grain-avoidance.
Circulating his vital essence, he used the "Qi Fortune Circulation" to calculate his luck.
Six more shi-chen — that is, twelve hours.
Chen Yan lay on the bed, planning not to move from this spot for the next twelve hours.
To be precise, the bed frame had already collapsed; what was there now was just the mattress directly on the floor.
The bed frame had been moved by him into the bathroom, because it had sharp broken wooden corners and nails on it — all dangerous objects.
An entire morning passed, and astonishingly, things went by calm and uneventful.
Chen Yan felt a bit strange in his heart: Could it be that the Heavenly Dao had no way to deal with him?
That's right…
Magic attacks can only be magic attacks; they can't act on me directly. I've cleared away every element on the physical level that could harm me, so the Heavenly Dao probably has no move left to make, right?
In the afternoon, Chen Yan began running a fever, and then his stomach started aching.
He lay on the bed, glaring viciously out the window.
"Come on! Come on!
Got a fever and you want to force me out the door, want me to go to the hospital?
Like hell I will!
Got a fever? I'll just tough it out!
Stomach ache?
I've barely eaten or drunk anything these past few days — even if you make me get the runs, damn it, there's nothing left to shit out!!!
Hahahahahaha!!!"
His eyes bloodshot, he cursed viciously a few times. Over the past six days, Chen Yan had slept less than ten hours in total; his spirit was already extremely frail, yet he had become all the more manic.
The fever left him groggy for two hours, but by evening the fever had finally broken.
As for the stomach ache — just as Chen Yan had predicted himself, after letting out two loud farts, it too subsided.
Only the wound on his hand hurt more and more. Chen Yan took a look — sure enough, it was badly swollen and red.
Clearly, the wound had become infected.
Chen Yan grinned ferociously: "Hmph, only four more hours! Even if it's an infection, even if it's tetanus, it can't possibly kill me in just four hours!! Useless, useless! Like hell I'm going out!!"
Although Chen Yan's spirit was frayed, in his heart he clung stubbornly to one thought: even if a wound infection could lead to some serious illness like sepsis in medical terms, at worst it might even require amputation, or even… snipping it off.
That still couldn't possibly happen within four hours!
And once tomorrow came, his fate would return to normal, and the Heavenly Dao absolutely could not let him be amputated or snipped off!
Because his normal fate held no destiny of an unnatural death or a maimed body!
This is what's called — you can't use the previous dynasty's Imperial Sword to behead the current dynasty's corrupt officials!
·
The four-hour countdown ended, bit by bit.
At the final moment, Chen Yan even turned on his phone so he could clearly see the time when the end came.
When the time reached the last half hour, even the air seemed to fall silent.
Even though it was such a cold winter, Chen Yan inside the room seemed to feel a trace of restless heat.
It was already past eight in the evening. Chen Yan sat on the bed, silently counting the time, his eyes reddened as he stared at his phone.
Soon, soon…
Just a few more minutes…
Haha! Old Man Heaven, in the end there's nothing you can do to me.
This is what they call — man conquers…
What the fuck!!!???
Chen Yan suddenly felt the bed beneath him tremble slightly.
Then once, twice, three times…
After that, even the whole house began to shake!
"Holy shit, it's an earthquake!"
·
PS: I'll say it for you all: this one quake lasted a full twenty-four hours.
·
【Two updates done for today, bring on the tickets!!
This chapter is forty-six hundred characters, please type "Tiao Wu Chang You Ying" on the public screen!】
·
End of Chapter
