Chapter 45: [The Exploding Hu Licking Dog]
The fence wall facing the forest had been bitten open; several of the iron bars, originally as thick as a little finger, were bitten through.
A figure the size of a millstone lay sprawled on the grass in the courtyard!
The Old Turtle panted heavily, his heart filled with rage!
What a despicable bastard! I, the Old Turtle, have trekked for many days just to reach this place!
I want to see which despicable bastard is casting spells here at will, stealing the primal energy of my mountain and ruining my great cultivation plan!!
If I do not teach you a severe lesson, my hatred from these many days of trekking will not be appeased!
Suddenly, the house door opened, and a figure swept in like a gust of wind.
"Hmph, you've come out!" The Old Turtle felt a surge of joy in his heart and roared in anger: "You despicable bastard!"
That person had already swept directly before his eyes like a gust of wind!
The Old Turtle was suddenly terrified; after all, he was an enlightened spiritual beast, naturally possessing the ability to perceive Qi with his eyes. He sensed that the person before him had a fluctuation of primal energy like the waves of a vast ocean, surging without end...
Under that oppressive momentum, the Old Turtle felt his own breath stall; before he could utter a word, he heard a thin voice.
"You are the despicable bastard!"
The Gu girl was furious! Her small face turned cold, and she kicked out with one foot!
Buzz!
The Old Turtle felt a ringing in his ears, then a massive force struck him. He let out a cry, and his millstone-sized body was flipped and sent flying, rolling seven or eight times in mid-air... before finally crashing onto several green stone slabs of the Spirit-Gathering Array at the courtyard's edge.
Those green stone slabs shattered instantly, and the Old Turtle's millstone-sized body became wedged in the middle!
The Old Turtle felt that after this strike, his internal organs had shifted position; he was dizzy and disoriented, his spiritual energy churned and scattered, and the primal energy in his dantian was nearly shattered!
He almost failed to draw a breath right then and there.
Just as he was about to struggle, that figure had leaped right in front of him, and a foot clad in a white sneaker stepped onto his shell.
The Old Turtle felt as if Mount Tai were pressing down on him; he let out a wail of agony, his four limbs went limp, and he lay on the ground, unable to move again.
The Gu girl stared at him with eyes like lightning, yet the voice that came out was a thin, sweet tone: "Try cursing me again?"
The Old Turtle blinked his eyelids, fixed his gaze on the girl before him, and suddenly, he almost rolled his Bai Yan, his soul nearly scattered in terror, his heart filled with shock!
【Heavens, Heavenly Human Realm?】
Where was there any remaining toughness? His four limbs and head all retracted into his shell; he could only muster all his strength to shout loudly: "Immortal, spare my life!!"
The Gu girl let out a cold snort and withdrew the foot she was about to kick out again.
The Old Turtle dared not move inside his shell; his voice trembled, yet he had already used all the strength of his lifetime to shout loudly: "Immortal above! Little Turtle has eyes but no sight, offending the Immortal. Please, seeing that Little Turtle's cultivation is shallow and hard-earned, spare me this once!"
Having spoken, two front limbs emerged from the shell, stretching out and pressing together as hard as they could, desperately performing a bow.
The Gu girl, her face heavy, asked: "Are you the spiritual beast guarding this house?"
"Hmm?"
Hearing this, the Old Turtle's mind raced through seven or eight thoughts in an instant, and he quickly shouted loudly: "No, no! I, I am a scattered cultivator of the mountain."
The Gu girl made a sound of surprise: "Not the house-guarding beast? Then why did you just curse me?"
"I, I, I... I came to the master of this place, uh..." As the Old Turtle spoke, his head remained tucked inside his shell, blinking his eyes to look out.
How should I say it?
Should I say I came to cause trouble? What if this Heavenly Human is a friend of the master of this place? Wouldn't I just get beaten again?
But if I don't speak the truth, should I say... I am a friend of the master of this place?
Yes!
"L-Little Turtle is a neighbor of the master of this place. Usually, I cultivate in the mountain, and my relationship with the master of this place is ver-very good, with m-much interaction! We are all family, all family..."
Upon hearing this, the Gu girl's face darkened: "A friend of the Chen family? Very good relationship, much interaction? Associating with the shameless scum of the Chen family means you are no good either!"
Crack!
Another foot stepped down, crushing the Old Turtle straight into the dirt.
The Old Turtle's vision went black, his spiritual energy scattered once more, and he almost vomited blood.
His heart was shocked, but his thoughts turned quickly.
She said the master of this place is a shameless scum... so he is not a friend, but an enemy of this family?
Yes, he must be an enemy!!
Realizing this, the Old Turtle quickly shouted: "No, no! Little Cultivator just spoke wrongly! Spoke wrongly! I am not his family's friend!
I, I am actually his family's creditor!
The master of this family is extremely shameless; I, I am here to collect the debt!"
He had thought that saying this would make the Immortal turn from anger to joy.
Who would have thought that upon hearing this, the Gu girl's face darkened again. The Chen family, no matter how... was still her future husband's family!
"Bold! No matter how evil the Chen family members are, only I have the right to curse them. With your meager cultivation, you dare curse their family? You deserve a beating!"
Having spoken, she kicked again!
The Old Turtle, in agony, was buried entirely in the dirt, unable to catch his breath.
Yet in his heart, he cursed loudly.
Damn it!!!
I can't praise? I can't curse?
Are Immortals so great!!!
Bullying people!!
·
After three consecutive kicks, the Old Turtle's body was buried about half a meter deep in the dirt; it looked as if he could barely breathe and was on the verge of rolling his Bai Yan and fainting.
Only then did the Gu girl withdraw her foot, step back two paces, and look at him coldly: "Don't play dead. You should already be a demon cultivator in the Transformation Realm. These three kicks were just a small punishment for you; they won't crush you to death. Come out and speak."
The old turtle grunted and groaned as it crawled out of the dirt pit, its breath weak, grunting and groaning.
The Gu girl glanced at it, frowned, and said, "I dislike the sight of your turtle-headed, turtle-brained appearance. Transform into human form and speak to me."
"Immortal does not know, this humble cultivator is about to endure my turtle cultivation's once-a-century Heaven and Earth Tribulation. For this one year, I cannot use any spells, lest I attract the Heavenly Dao's calamity. I..."
The Gu girl looked at it coldly: "I will likely reside here for a long time, and I lack a servant for rough labor. Since you are here, you shall serve. Your turtle form is slow; if I ask you to do something, will you also crawl around like this? Transform quickly!"
"As for your demon cultivation's minor Heavenly Dao tribulation, with me here, what are you afraid of?"
Huh?
I, I have already been recruited?
The old turtle was stunned, and a trace of joy immediately arose in its heart!
This old man... has been taken as a subordinate by someone at the Heavenly Human Realm?!
The old turtle quickly poked its head out as well, its tone ecstatic: "Thank you, Immortal, for bestowing this fate!!"
Having spoken, it took a deep breath toward the direction of the forest. A large mass of withered leaves flew over, swirling around its body. After a flash of Jin Guang, the old turtle transformed into human form, and those withered leaves turned into the clothes on its body.
Standing before the Gu girl was now a short, thin little old man, who then dropped to his knees with a thud in front of the Gu girl.
"Hmm, this looks much more pleasing," the Gu girl glanced at him, then said indifferently, "I ask you, the boundary gate between the two worlds is shielded by a formation; how did you, with such little cultivation, manage to slip through?"
"Huh?"
The old turtle was stunned, shook its head, and said, "I grew up here... passed down by countless generations of ancestors, for who knows how many years."
The Gu girl nodded: "So you are the descendants of those who fled the boundary back in the day."
Next, the old turtle recounted in full detail how it had hibernated in the mountain lake, how the primordial qi of the mountain had been sucked away...
The Gu girl listened quietly, glanced at the green stone slabs in the courtyard, and nodded: "Hmm, not bad. Her family actually has a ready-made Spirit-Gathering Array; I will live more comfortably from now on."
She then said to the old turtle: "You smashed the array just now; you are responsible for repairing it."
The old turtle looked embarrassed: "I... I don't know how."
It quickly added: "People in this world do not cultivate spells; the inheritance of spell-cultivation techniques is extremely scarce. In the mountains, I only relied on a bit of turtle spirit inheritance talent to fumble my way through cultivation; I know nothing more."
The Gu girl thought for a moment: "Can you cook?"
"This humble cultivator cannot."
"Do you know the Dust-Removal Art? The kind for cleaning houses and washing clothes?"
"This humble cultivator cannot..."
"Do you know how to use household appliances? Can you use a mobile phone and computer to go online?"
"This humble cultivator cannot..."
The Gu girl became unhappy. After thinking for a moment, she glanced at the swimming pool in the courtyard: "You can't do anything? Fine, you fill that pool with water and stay inside it."
"Since you can't do anything, you'll just have to be a pet."
The old turtle: "..."
·
After an unknown amount of time passed, when Chen Yan slowly woke up, he felt dizzy and his mouth and throat were dry.
He barely managed to roll over, feeling his body weak and limp.
A shock ran through his heart—Could it be that the bad luck wasn't eliminated and had come back after all?
Lying in bed, he quickly calculated with his fingers.
Eh? Today's fortune is an auspicious sign.
He reached under his pillow, grabbed his mobile phone, and checked the time. Chen Yan shot straight up from the bed!
January 1, 2025, 7:26 AM.
"Damn it!"
Chen Yan remembered that when he fell asleep in this inn, it was the early morning of December 31.
He had unknowingly missed the New Year's Eve celebration.
Slept for a full twenty-plus hours?! No wonder he felt dizzy and his mouth and throat were dry.
From hunger!
Barely supporting himself to get up, Chen Yan had dryly eaten instant noodles for seven days; even before sleeping, he had eaten instant noodles, and he really didn't want to touch that stuff anymore.
He picked up his phone, left the room, went downstairs, left the inn, found a breakfast shop in the town, bought some local pork potstickers, added a bowl of spicy soup, and ate it hot.
On a cold winter morning, with the biting wind, having such a hot meal enter his stomach, Chen Yan quickly felt comfortable.
Holding his phone, he scrolled through the WeChat messages from these past two days.
Sister Lu Sisi had sent several messages.
She had sent one during Christmas; he hadn't replied—back then, he had been enduring the tribulation for seven days.
She had sent one on New Year's Eve night, but he had been in a deep sleep and hadn't replied.
The last message was a cautious question sent by Lu Sisi.
"Chen Yan, do you dislike me disturbing you?"
Chen Yan stared at this message for a few seconds; he could almost imagine, given this sister's personality, the cautious, anxious look she had when sending this message.
Chen Yan thought for a moment and replied: "I was in seclusion practicing martial arts a few days ago, so I didn't check my phone."
·
Returning to the folk inn, he asked the boss for help to find a taxi driver he knew, and negotiated the price for a long-distance ride to take him back to Jin Ling.
While waiting in the room for the driver to arrive, his mobile phone suddenly rang. Chen Yan looked at the incoming call...
It was Hu Shangke, Hu Tiangou.
Uh... feeling a bit guilty, Chen Yan answered the call.
Sure enough, as soon as the call connected, the angry roar of Hu Tiangou came from the other end.
"Chen Yan!! What did you do to that short-term rental? How did the house collapse!
I was utterly ruined by you, do you know that or not!"
Chen Yan sighed: "Old Hu, don't panic first."
"How can I not panic?! Such a huge house, it collapsed!!"
·
【The most laughable yet frustrating thing today is that I'm too embarrassed to ask for monthly votes for this book, yet I saw a powerful reader in the backend who single-handedly threw eight monthly votes at Hunting the Nation...
My heart is so tired.】
·
End of Chapter
