Chapter 1840

The morning light of the Xuanyuan Star Academy always carried a hint of warmth, and when it filtered through the carved window lattice into the lecture hall, it happened to fall upon the open lecture notes of Lü Qinger. The characters on the paper were clear and elegant, as if carved from ice, each stroke exuding ultimate restraint, yet the fingertips holding the brush were slightly whitened—beneath the pad of her finger, the ice-blue lotus-seed pattern warmed by her body heat was the mark left by Li Luo a hundred years ago when he summoned her from nothingness, now having merged with her blood and become part of her body.

In the hall, dozens of top-tier heavenly prodigies from all over Outer Shenzhou sat upright with solemn respect. They gazed reverently at the woman on the platform, her ice-blue long hair woven like myriad ice crystals, cascading over her shoulders; when the tips occasionally collided, they emitted a delicate, bell-like sound. This was due to her innate ice-bound stature, but only Lü Qinger herself knew that beneath this icy exterior lay a seething turmoil so intense it threatened to consume her.

"The path of cultivation takes merit as its foundation and evil thoughts as its warning……" Her voice was clear and pleasant, like an ice spring flowing over jade, calm to the point of revealing no ripple, yet as her gaze swept over the youthful and defiant faces below, she found herself unconsciously dazed. For a moment, she seemed to see the classroom of the Nanfeng Academy from years past: by the window, the blue-clad youth rested his chin on his hand, his bright eyes fixed on the lectern, a faint smile playing at the corner of his mouth—Li Luo, the name she had cherished in her heart for three hundred years, recited countless times.

Her fingertips unconsciously curled, creasing the lecture notes slightly. She hastily gathered her thoughts, raising her voice a little, attempting to suppress the surging emotions in her heart with the focus of teaching. Yet the more she restrained, the more the forcibly sealed memories surged: in the Spirit Phenomenon Cave Heaven, he had trod through the snow to seek the Ice God Lotus for her, frost flowers falling in his hair as he smiled and said, "Qinger, this flower suits you"; on the trial grounds of the tenth year of the Heavenly Fortune, he stood before her, facing a formidable enemy with resolute tone: "With me here, no one can harm you"; beneath the heavens of the Unification War, she had transformed into an ice phoenix and charged toward the annihilating black light, and in that final glance toward him, how much unsaid longing and reluctance lay hidden……

"Instructor Lü?" a heavenly prodigy from below raised his hand hesitantly, "You said merit can dispel evil thoughts, but if evil thoughts stem from the deepest longing in one's heart, how should it be resolved?"

These words were like a fine needle, precisely piercing the ice wall Lü Qinger had painstakingly built. Her body stiffened, a flicker of panic crossing her ice-blue eyes—so swift it was impossible to catch. The deepest longing…… her longing was Li Luo. It was more stubborn than her ice-bound stature, more vast than the power of the primordial species—how could it be dispelled? And how could she bear to dispel it?

"Longing itself is not evil thought." She steadied herself, though her voice still carried an almost imperceptible tremor, "If longing is benevolent, if it wishes the other well, then it is the foundation of merit, not the root of evil thought."

As she spoke, her gaze once again swept past the window lattice toward the Star Tower piercing the clouds deep within the academy. On its summit, two figures stood side by side: the man in white robes surpassing snow, the woman in golden skirt trailing the ground—none other than the most exalted beings in this world—the World Sovereign Li Luo and his dao companion Jiang Qinge.

It had been a full hundred years since her resurrection. During this century, she had countless times gazed at him from afar. She watched him preside over the Grand Ceremony of Outer Shenzhou, watched him lecture the newly risen heavenly prodigies, watched him and Jiang Qinge stand shoulder to shoulder overlooking the myriad rivers and mountains, watched him use the will of the world to heal the last wounds of Outer Shenzhou's earth. Each time she saw him, her heart felt like a flame wrapped in ice—both cold and scorching—the cold from the distance within arm's reach yet worlds apart, the scorching from the longing etched deep into her marrow.

She knew she should not harbor such emotions. Li Luo was already the World Sovereign, beside him stood a woman as radiant and unparalleled as Jiang Qinge; they were a match made in heaven, jointly guarding this hard-won prosperous age. And she? She was merely a remnant soul he had pulled from nothingness—to live again, to continue watching him at peace, ought to be a great fortune. Yet the human heart is ultimately not ice; those emotions she had sealed away for a hundred years still broke free at every moment she saw him, surging forth.

The bell signaling the end of class finally rang, its dull sound like a blunt hammer striking her heart repeatedly. The heavenly prodigies bowed respectfully and withdrew, their footsteps fading, leaving only her alone in the hall. She did not move, still standing by the window, her eyes locked on the figure atop the Star Tower, as if she wished to etch his likeness once more into the depths of her soul.

The sound of ice crystals colliding at her hair tips grew more urgent, like her current frantic heartbeat. She could clearly feel that the figure had moved—Li Luo seemed to have sensed her gaze, now turning toward her direction. Her heart shrank violently; Lü Qinger instinctively wanted to dodge, yet her feet felt nailed to the spot. She watched him descend slowly from the Star Tower, his white robes snapping in the morning breeze, the world's will coiled around him gentle yet vast, without a trace of oppression—just like that youth in the Nanfeng Academy who would smile and brush snowflakes from her shoulders.

Footsteps approached from afar, carrying a familiar scent—mingled with the chill of the heavenly lotus and the power of merit, the very aura etched into her marrow. Lü Qinger's fingertips began to tremble uncontrollably, the tips of her ears quietly flushing a thin red, a stark contrast against her ice-blue long hair.

"Instructor Lü."

A gentle voice sounded from behind her, like a pool of warm water instantly washing over all the ice shards on her heart. Merely two words, and the restraint she had accumulated over a hundred years showed a crack. She felt her breath begin to tighten, her throat as if blocked, making even a simple response difficult to utter.

She slowly turned, her movement as stiff as rusted machinery. When her ice-blue eyes met Li Luo's deep gaze, she clearly saw her own reflection—a face pallid, eyes flustered, even her long hair trembling slightly—where was the slightest trace of her usual aloof and transcendent Instructor Lü demeanor?

"World Sovereign." She finally found her voice, yet it was dry and harsh, like a stream frozen by ice, barely able to flow. She instinctively lowered her eyelids, afraid to meet his eyes, fearing she would utterly collapse in those eyes brimming with tenderness.

Li Luo drew closer, a few steps, the warmth on his body dispelling the chill around him. His gaze fell upon her whitened fingertips, then moved to the trembling ice crystals at her hair tips, the gentleness in his eyes gradually deepening with a hint of pity. "Class is over?" His voice was extremely soft, as if afraid to disturb a fragile treasure.

"Mm." Lü Qinger nodded lightly, her long lashes casting a faint shadow beneath her eyelids, "Just…… just ended."

The air fell into a brief silence, only the delicate sound of ice crystals colliding echoing. Lü Qinger could clearly hear her own heartbeat, like a drumbeat, making her chest feel stuffy. She had so much she wanted to say to him, to tell him that when she burned the primordial species a hundred years ago, her greatest regret was not death, but not being able to call his name properly; to tell him that in these hundred years since her resurrection, she had come every day to a corner of the academy to glance at him from afar, merely to confirm he was well; to tell him she truly could not bear to part with him, sometimes even resenting her own resurrection—if she had remained submerged in nothingness, perhaps this longing would not have torn her heart apart.

But she could not utter a single word of these. She was Lü Qinger, instructor of the Xuanyuan Star Academy, a cultivator who had once sealed her emotions in ice; her pride would not allow her to lose composure thus, nor would it allow her to become his burden.

"In three months, the Dark World will be fully integrated into Outer Shenzhou." Li Luo broke the silence, gazing out the window at the horizon, his tone relaxed as if chatting with an old friend, "Then there will be no more strange beings breeding in the world, all living things will be healthy and at peace, the heavenly qi and fortune will flourish—this is the day we once looked forward to together when we were at the Nanfeng Academy."

"Us." These two words were like a key, violently turning the lock on Lü Qinger's heart, instantly shattering that crack of restraint into fragments. The days at the Nanfeng Academy were the warmest time of her life. Back then, they had not borne so many responsibilities and longings, they could still read together in the Scripture Pavilion, train together on the martial field, discuss the future of Outer Shenzhou under the moonlight…… but such days could never return.

A scorching heat surged violently to her eye sockets; she bit her lower lip hard, barely preventing tears from falling. Yet her eye sockets grew hotter, her vision blurred—she had not cried in so long she had thought her tear ducts were frozen by ice, yet she never imagined that a single offhand remark from him could shatter her completely.

"Yes…… yes, we had looked forward to this." Her voice began to tremble, each word as if squeezed from her throat, carrying an indescribable sob, "But I…… I thought I would not live to see this day."

Li Luo's gaze returned to her; seeing her reddened eye sockets and tightly bitten lower lip, the pity in his eyes nearly overflowed. He had seen her indifference when she sealed her emotions in ice, her firmness when she advanced to the acquired primordial species, her decisiveness when she burned the primordial species, but never had he seen her this fragile—like an ice lotus battered by a violent storm, pale and helpless, making one's heart clench.

"Qinger……" He softly called her name, no longer the distant and polite "Instructor Lü," but that name he had shouted countless times in the Spirit Phenomenon Cave Heaven, during the Heavenly Fortune trials.

This cry of "Qinger" was like a thunderclap, instantly shattering all of Lü Qinger's restraint. She could no longer hold back; tears like broken pearls streamed down her lovely cheeks, landing on the back of her hand, carrying the chill of ice and the heat of her heart. The icy sensation made her shudder violently, yet it also completely ignited the emotions she had suppressed for three hundred years.

"Li Luo……" She choked out his name, her voice full of grievance and despair, like a child suffering a great injustice, "I am so afraid…… so afraid that after that time, I will never see you again……"

She lifted her tear-filled eyes, her ice-blue eyes brimming with tears, yet she still stared fixedly at him, as if she wished to etch his likeness and his current gaze deep into her soul, never to forget. "When I burned the primordial species, I was not afraid of death at all." Her voice trembled yet was unusually clear, each word carrying the weight of blood and tears, "I only feared…… that after I died, no one could protect you; I only feared…… that you would be completely erased by the Dark Sovereign's annihilation aspect, leaving not even a chance for rebirth; I only feared…… that I would die without ever having the chance to tell you that I had never truly sealed my feelings for you; I only feared…… that I would never have the chance to say to you, 'I cannot bear to part with you'……"

The scene from a hundred years ago once again appeared clearly before her eyes. The heavens of the Unification War were leaden gray, the annihilation black light like a venomous snake seeking prey, swooping down upon Li Luo's falling skull. At that time, she had just advanced to the acquired primordial species, her power not yet fully stabilized, yet she hesitated not—she transformed into an ice phoenix, burning the power of the primordial species, and charged head-on toward that black light capable of annihilating everything.

Wind howled in her ears, the searing pain of the primordial species burning sweeping through her body, yet her gaze remained locked on Li Luo. She wanted to shout to him, to smile at him, to tell him as she once had, "I am here," but she had not even the strength to open her mouth. She could only summon the last vestige of her consciousness, gathering all her strength into the impact—so long as she could block this strike for him, so long as she could let him live, even if her body shattered and her soul scattered, it would be worth it.

In that final moment, she saw the bloodshot in his eyes, saw his furious roar of despair, and in her heart flashed a hint of relief—he lived, that was enough. Yet what followed was a deep-seated regret etched into her bones. She had not yet had the chance to tell him she loved him, loving him since the first glance at the Nanfeng Academy; she had not yet had the chance to tell him she had carefully kept the Ice God Lotus he gave her; she had not yet had the chance to tell him she truly could not bear to part with him……

These regrets were like ice picks, piercing her soul day and night during her hundred years submerged in nothingness; during her hundred years after resurrection, they gnawed at her viscera. "After resurrection, I thought everything would improve." Her tears flowed faster and faster, her shoulders shaking violently, her hands unconsciously clutching the hem of her clothes, her joints whitening from force, "But I was wrong…… seeing you and Qinge sister standing side by side, seeing you become the World Sovereign, seeing this prosperous peace, I am both happy and sorrowful……"

"I am happy you finally achieved your former aspiration, happy that Outer Shenzhou has at last found peace, happy that you have such a fine woman beside you……" She sniffled, her voice thick with loss, "But I am sorrowful…… sorrowful that the one beside you is not me, sorrowful that I can only watch you from afar like this, sorrowful that even drawing near to you by a single step feels like a luxury……"

"During these hundred years, I come every day to this hall to teach, because from here I can clearly see the Star Tower." Her gaze pierced through her tears toward the distant tower, her eyes filled with endless longing, "I watch you emerge from the tower, watch you lecture the heavenly prodigies, watch you and Qinge sister watch the sunrise and sunset…… each time I see you, I tell myself this is enough, as long as I can see you safe, that is sufficient."

"But I cannot control…… I cannot control my longing for you, I cannot control my thoughts of you, I cannot control my inability to bear parting with you……" She lunged forward a step, both hands gripping Li Luo's sleeve tightly, the force astonishing, as if loosening her grip would make him vanish from her world once more, "Li Luo, I truly cannot bear to part with you…… I cannot bear it to the point that sometimes I resent myself for being resurrected—if I had remained dead, perhaps I would not have suffered so much……"

Her sobs were suppressed yet desperate, like an ice lotus weeping blood, each sound tugging at Li Luo's heart. He could clearly feel that the fingers gripping his sleeve were icy and trembling, within that tremor lay three hundred years of longing, three hundred years of endurance, three hundred years of despair.

He reached out, gently brushing the tears from her cheek. The instant his fingertips touched her skin, Lü Qinger's body shuddered, yet her tears flowed even faster—this fingertip's warmth was exactly the same as a hundred years ago, warm enough to make her want to cry, warm enough to make her unwilling to let go.

"I know, Qinger, I know all of it." Li Luo's voice was so tender it seemed to drip water, thick with pity, "I know your resolve when you burned the primordial species, I know the longing you hid beneath the ice mountain, I know your endurance and pain these three hundred years……"

He gently patted the back of her hand, his voice tinged with a hint of guilt: "Back in the Spirit Phenomenon Cave Heaven, I should have told you my feelings; back in the Heavenly Fortune trials, I should have protected you completely, not let you face danger alone; back in the Unification War, I should have grown stronger sooner, not let you burn yourself out for me…… It is I who has caused you to suffer so much."

Lü Qinger froze, tears hanging dazedly on her cheeks, forgetting to slide down. She lifted her eyes to meet Li Luo's gaze, those deep eyes brimming with pity and guilt, and a hint of tenderness she dared not hope for.

"I have never forgotten you." Li Luo's gaze locked onto hers, his tone utterly sincere, "When I sought you in the void, every day I thought, if I could find you back, I would surely tell you, you are not alone; when I awakened you at that moment, I looked at your pallid face, and in my heart there was only one thought—I would never let you suffer the slightest injustice again; these hundred years, I watched you teach in the academy, watched you gaze afar at the Star Tower, I knew what you were thinking, yet I dared not approach—I feared disturbing your peace, feared my presence would plunge you back into pain."

He gently held her icy hand, the warmth from his palm gradually transmitting: "Qinger, sorry for making you wait so long, sorry for making you endure so long."

Feeling the warmth spreading from his palm, Lü Qinger's tears surged forth again—but this time, it was no longer the weeping of despair, but the venting of grievance, the release of three hundred years of suppressed emotions finally finding their outlet. She did not speak, merely clutched his hand desperately, as if it were the sole driftwood in her life. The wind blew in from outside, carrying the warmth of Outer Shenzhou's prosperous age, stirring her ice-blue long hair. The collision of ice crystals at her hair tips became clear and gentle, as if narrating that three hundred years of longing had finally found a response.

After an unknown time, Lü Qinger's sobs gradually subsided, leaving only intermittent hiccups. She lifted her tear-filled eyes to gaze at Li Luo, her eyes still thick with reluctance, yet now mixed with a hint of release.

"I…… I know, you and Qinge sister are a match made in heaven." She sniffled, her voice still somewhat hoarse, "I…… I will not disturb you two, I merely…… merely wish to tell you these words, to let you know the longing in my heart……"

Li Luo gazed at her, the tenderness in his eyes growing ever richer. He gently patted the back of her hand, his tone earnest: "Qinger, you have never been my burden; your longing is the most precious treasure I have gathered in these three hundred years."

"I know we have missed many years between us, many things cannot be relived." His voice was calm and gentle, yet carried an undeniable force, "But I hope you know, from now on, you need not endure alone in silence, need not watch from afar anymore. You may come to me as you once did, just as we were at the Nanfeng Academy—we can discuss cultivation together, gaze upon Outer Shenzhou together, and…… guard this prosperous peace together."

Lü Qinger's eye sockets reddened again, but her tears were no longer bitter, now carrying a hint of warmth. She gazed at Li Luo, nodded lightly, her voice hoarse yet firm: "Good."

Merely one word, yet it felt like laying down the burden of three hundred years. She knew perhaps they would not have an ending like his and Jiang Qinge's, but this was enough—to be by his side, to watch him, to occasionally speak with him, to let him know her longing—this was already sufficient.

She slowly loosened her grip on his sleeve, yet at the moment her fingertips left, they instinctively paused—still unwilling to let go. Unwilling to release his hand, unwilling to leave his side, unwilling to relinquish this hard-won warmth.

Li Luo sensed her hesitation, a hint of smile appearing in his eyes. He lightly raised his hand, tucking the strand of ice-blue hair fallen beside her cheek behind her ear, his fingertips unintentionally brushing her ear tip, sending a faint shiver.

"Teach well, cultivate well." His voice was gentle as of old, "In three months, at the grand ceremony when the Dark World fully integrates into Outer Shenzhou, I hope you can come."

Lü Qinger's ear tip instantly flushed a thin red, she nodded lightly, her voice as faint as a mosquito: "I will go."

Li Luo gazed at her, smiled—a smile still that of the youth from years past, pure and warm. He said nothing more, merely turned and walked slowly toward the Star Tower. Lü Qinger stood in place, watching his retreating back, tears slipping again, yet she lifted her hand to wipe them away with a smile. This time, her tears held no pain, no despair, only a rich, indissoluble reluctance—this longing that had traversed three hundred years of life and death, three hundred years of time, remained as vivid as ever.

She knew that this reluctance would be like the ice lotus in her heart, forever blooming, forever vibrant. It would not become an obstacle, nor a burden, but only the warmest strength on her path of cultivation, supporting her, accompanying her, together guarding this prosperous age, together watching that person she had thought of for three hundred years, safe and sound as at first.

The wind blew again, carrying the warm merit from the direction of the Star Pagoda, and the ice crystals at her hair tips collided, producing a clear, crisp sound, like a gentle lullaby, telling a story of the ice lotus, of longing, of three hundred years of reluctance.