Chapter 30: Torturing Ba Ge, sustainable drain‑the‑pond fishing!

Is it hard to admit that Ba Ge is strong?

Others don't know, but Xu Dongmen, who has been queued with Ba Ge on the same side for two games in a row, definitely has a say.

Put it this way, even if he went crazy with Spider Shark in the last game, if he continues to queue with Ba Ge in the next game, he still only has a 50% chance to win.

Win or loss isn't in his control; it all depends on how fierce the enemy top laner is!

Teaming up with Ba Ge, the intensity is simply damn higher than playing in the LPL!

"Haha, I didn't get queued this game!"

Xu Dongmen was overjoyed.

Da B also let out a long sigh of relief: "Dongmen, we've got this game in the bag."

"Too bad I got filled to top lane this game, but top lane is top lane—I still have a few top laners I can play."

Xu Dongmen remained calm and composed.

The preselect position mode was officially launched on the Chinese server over a month ago; before that, ranked games used the primitive '5th floor mid lane' allocation system—high elo was fine, but low elo would often result in AFK games or mid lane feeding fests.

After all, they say S6 bridges the past and future—this season's newly launched content is truly plentiful: new runes, new modes, and new neutral resources……

Even this year's LPL format is a brand‑new version!

"The enemy Quinn is top lane, Dongmen, what are you gonna use to counter Quinn?" Doinb looked over.

"First, rule out the crocodile." Xu Dongmen began to think.

"The chat says this Quinn is Ba Ge—real or fake, does Ba Ge even play Quinn?" Da B said in a doubtful tone.

"Ah? No way."

Xu Dongmen was likewise startled.

He had never imagined that this hero Quinn could be associated with Ba Ge.

What was that catchy saying about Ba Ge's hero pool again?

He frowned, molten rock giant?

A whiff from the toilet, Garen tonight?

…………

"No, who said I only play trash champions?"

"Today Ba Ge will show you what a carry‑style top laner is!"

"Wait, does anyone know how to spec the Birdman talent? Should we go with Thunder or War Fervor? Thunder, right—Looper always takes Thunder? OK, it's been ages since I last specced this…"

Ba Ge finished specing his talents and selected the Death's Eagle skin.

The chat was filled with question marks.

New viewers were all confused—Ba Ge actually bought so many Quinn skins?

Wasn't that money just thrown away!

Old viewers started giving lectures: whatever, Ba Ge used to be the top player on the Chinese server; whatever, mid‑transfer and Imperial Glory Eternal; whatever, if Sion hadn't been reworked, Ba Ge would stare at anyone and get them pregnant……

"Ah?!"

All I heard was Ba Ge letting out a ghostly wail: "Done for, done for—the enemy top picked Pot Lid; I shouldn't have taken Birdman so early!"

Ba Ge regretted it deeply.

But soon, after the loading screen showed the enemy top laner's ID, this guy instantly woke up: "Fuck your mother? Hahaha, you're a jungler playing top— isn't that just feeding me free LP?"

Ba Ge's eyes lit up.

I thought we were gonna get crushed this game, but then a halfway‑monk showed up—don't blame me, Wang Muba, for being rude!

The jungle is your domain, but on this little patch of top lane, if it's a tiger you gotta lie down for me, if it's a dragon you gotta coil around me!

"Guys, this game revolve around me!"

"Come on, Pot Lid, let's settle this!"

"This game I'm gonna prove myself!"

Ba Ge started with Doran's Blade, rushed to top lane at once to contest the brush, but waited ages and no one showed up.

Xu Dongmen stood under the tower, denying him the chance to chip away at his health.

——War King, Pantheon

"Nice guy, starting with a potion, you're that steady?"

From afar, watching Pantheon, Ba Ge got mischievous, went in to harass and try to snag a free Thunder.

But before he even got in range, he ate a Pantheon spear throw (Q).

Quinn only managed an auto‑attack, and his dazzling assault was dodged by Pantheon's positioning.

Xu Dongmen only lost about 40 HP, while Ba Ge dropped over 60.

Pantheon's level‑1 Q base damage reaches 65 points, plus a 1.4 bonus AD scaling.

After being hit by the spear, Quinn also suffered continuous burn damage, as if a mini Ignite had been placed on him.

"He's running Hellfire, holy shit, does this Pot Lid even get it?"

Ba Ge was greatly startled.

These days, out of ten Pantheons, nine run Thunder and only one runs Hellfire.

As a veteran top laner, Ba Ge naturally knows which is harder to deal with.

Never mind Quinn— even if he played his old mains Stone Man and Garen, Hellfire Pantheon would still be a pain.

Hellfire Touch is one of the three major ultimate talents in the Ferocity tree, on par with War Fervor and War Lord's Bloodlust.

——Damaging skills cause enemy champions to take magic damage continuously for 3 seconds.

It extremely counters the passives of Stone Man and Garen!

"Holy crap, I feel awful."

Ba Ge felt awful all over; the lane had just begun, and the red potion he brought when he left base was already used up.

Including the damage from Ignite, each of Pantheon's spear throws can knock off seventy to eighty points of HP.

The key is that this thing has an extremely short cooldown—4 seconds each—and it synergizes perfectly with Ignite.

Ba Ge leveled up to level 2 and took E【Spiraling Sweep】; a backflip triggered Thunder, and after much effort he managed a small health trade, but the opponent's lost HP was instantly restored by the Corrosive Potion.

"It's over, over, over—I need to go back to base, or else something will happen next wave."

Ba Ge looked at his health bar, less than half full, yet he couldn't bring himself to abandon the minion wave.

If he just went back to base this wave, he'd at least lose an entire wave of minions.

To lane, Ba Ge brought Ignite instead of Teleport—who brings Teleport when playing a birdman?

"Jungle? Jungle, come help a bit."

Ba Ge frantically pinged for the jungler; Daddy Jungle came, but then he ran into the enemy jungler in the river, they exchanged a wave of damage, each went back to their own side, and continued clearing the jungle.

Ba Ge was a little unhappy, saying, "Wasn't the plan to play around me?"

No choice—he could only recall from the brush, even though the minion wave was pushing forward at the time.

By the time he returned, he had wasted an entire wave and a half of minions for nothing.

"This wave is still okay; if I can reset the lane, I can still play." Ba Ge was quite good at self‑consolation.

In the picture, Quinn hadn't even killed a few minions when a teleport vortex appeared before his eyes.

Xu Dongmen directly T'd on Ba Ge's face!

"That's over the top." Ba Ge said it was over the top, but his hand uncontrollably dragged the mouse backward.

I'm not afraid of fighting him with a pot lid and Ignite; I'm afraid he'll bring Teleport and sustain the torture.

He really isn't giving any chance to live!

Ba Ge was tearing up.

Level 2 versus level 3, reusable potion versus double longswords.

Pain, so painful!

Not to mention controlling the wave—even just hiding under the tower to soak minions makes the spear thrusts painful enough to make one wish for death.

Xu Dongmen didn't put points into E; he took Q at level 2, and after going back to buy gear each of his spears could knock off one health segment from Quinn, who at that time had only a little over six segments total.

He barely held on until level 3.5, and his health bar hit bottom again!

This time, Ba Ge steeled himself on recall and upgraded his reusable potion into a Corrosive Potion.

He didn't have enough money left for even a pair of Boots of Speed, so he could only buy a Control Ward to ward against the enemy jungler tower‑diving.

"I've been countered—there's nothing I can do."

Ba Ge started making excuses for himself.

The chat flooded with mockery: "Where's the free LP you were supposed to feed on? Where's the carry‑style top laner? Ba Ge, is this how you prove yourself?"

"You don't understand, this matchup is hard for me… sigh, I shouldn't have bought Doran's Blade; I should have started with Cloth Armor and four red potions."

Ba Ge began to blame his item build.

One can only say, true to form, Ba Ge even regrets not starting with Cloth Armor on Quinn, and it's no wonder he keeps drifting further down the path of tower‑diving with a sword.

"I'm proud!"

Xu Dongmen doesn't waste words like Ba Ge; he controls Pantheon, and every time he catches someone he fires a spear, repeatedly forcing Ba Ge out of the experience zone.

So awesome!

Xu Dongmen loves this version of Pantheon—right off the bat he just spams Q mindlessly, no skill needed, just Q Q Q …

High damage, targeted, cooldown 4 seconds at all levels, 45 mana cost, combining all advantages into one!

With Ignite's touch and the Corrosive passive, even tanky foes are reduced to crying for their parents, let alone a squishy like Quinn.

What, you say ADCs have long range?

Sorry, the spear throw has a 600‑unit range, longer than most ADs.

When Pantheon hit level 6, Quinn was still only a little over level 4.

As for last‑hitting, it's horrendous—Xu Dongmen got 45 CS, while Ba Ge only managed 17.

Almost all of them were last‑hit with Q!

【Lord Xu of the North City (War King) killed Ba Ge (Demacian Wings)】

The lane kill showed up, with no flashy mechanics—just whittle down HP to a point, then a Shield Strike leaps under the tower and holds position, the Piercing Long Hair sweeps back and forth, and a final Q finishes it off in style.

A real man never looks back at the explosion!

The detail is that Xu Dongmen used his passive 【Aegis Protection】 and W Shield Strike to generate two shields, consecutively negating two tower laser shots, and he was still nearly at full health when he left the tower.

The whole process was clean and swift, as easy as killing a chicken!

Next, he again used his ultimate 【Heaven‑fall Strike】 to jump a wave in mid lane, helping Doinb kill the enemy male blade.

Returning to top lane, he continued to torture Ba Ge.

Before he had no clue, but now Xu Dongmen can boldly say: in this version, anyone who dares to play AD top like Teacher Shy is just lighting a lamp in the toilet—looking for poop!

Never mind anything else, just one Spartan is an insurmountable hurdle.

Compared to the post‑rework Unyielding Spear of S9, the War King's ceiling might be a bit lower, and he's also more prone to becoming a super minion late game.

But this thing is absolutely the father of all ADCs!

Not to mention Ba Ge—even if Teacher Shy himself stepped onto the Rift, Xu Dongmen could Q him into questioning his life.

It basically requires no skill at all!

By the way, Cheng Lu seems to also like playing jungle these days? Early in the season a leopard‑girl jungle tutorial video came out and seemed pretty popular…

"My spear just won't calm down!"

Spear after spear pierced him, leaving Ba Ge riddled with ten thousand transparent holes from head to toe, his body utterly ravaged.

With great difficulty I called the jungler up to gank a wave, but as a result Xu Dongmen 1v2 killed Quinn and the jungler was hurt.

Here we are, S! B! D!!

After the wave ended, Xu Dongmen was still dancing on Ba Ge's corpse, classicly using a spear to strike the shield, taunting to the max.

The equipment gap is too big, I can't play anymore.

Ba Ge struggled to defend himself.

This isn't entirely an excuse; Pantheon already has a serrated shortsword + Caulfied Warhammer, but he only has a lone Vampire Scepter.

How the fuck do you play this?

Mine, I was a bit lost early on and didn't handle it well.

Ba Ge actually didn't blame others for once.

As Xu Dongmen completed the Nightmare Spirit synthesis, another tower dive kill happened.

How is his damage so high? I can't play anymore!

Ba Ge is already a bit delirious.

The record is 0-3, but it feels worse than 0-8.

Even though Ba Ge is called the King of Tower Darts, in this game he only last-hit about thirty minions in ten minutes.

He can't lane at all!

The most tormenting part is, Xu Dongmen deliberately avoids taking towers; each time after he gets a lane kill, he goes to roam other lanes to gank Ba Ge's teammates, then returns to top lane to continue bullying.

Don't you know what unsustainable overexploitation is?!

Going back and forth, it's so annoying.

Ah, I don't even know how to play anymore!

Ba Ge has resigned himself; if it weren't only about ten minutes in, he would have already initiated a surrender.

Yet this game's bottom lane teammates are still doing well; none have given up.

If it weren't for Xu Dongmen's Pantheon constantly roaming to catch people, Ba Ge might actually have been able to win effortlessly.

Mainly I collapsed too completely this game; this bird hero can't even be played.

After just playing this game, Ba Ge started missing his old profession.

Tree Titan, Poppy, Garen, Malphite, Rammus, Nasus—so many playable champions not played, did you take the wrong medicine to play some birdman?

Ba Ge wishes he could slap himself.

Still, the fucking trashy hero is great!

Forward!

The thing you least need to worry about is getting kicked into the well!

To die beneath my feet is a blessing from heaven!

The fervent, arrogant lines rang out one by one; while Xu Dongmen was tormenting Ba Ge, he couldn't help but compare it to the later indomitable spear.

Compared to the steady mortal Atreus, the current version of the Warborn Star Spirit is more like an edgy teenager, exuding an arrogant, contemptuous aura, playing it feels very satisfying, and its skills emphasize simple brutality.

Too bad the Murder Sword is gone; otherwise I'd have to give him two to play with.

The Murder Sword was removed in the S6 preseason; it's not what later players imagined; few high‑elo heroes suit building it, but Pantheon definitely counts as one.

The AD scaling on its skills is absurdly high; when stacked, the damage is incomprehensible!

Of course, whether or not the Murder Sword is present, fighting Ba Ge is the same; after the top tower falls, even if Quinn dares to glance a second time, it's death.

At the moment the game ended, Xu Dongmen used his ultimate to jump into Ba Ge's fountain.

You're the carry‑type top laner, right?