Chapter 300: Oil Flask

"Husband, the key to the technique of 'Residing with a Heart of Depth' is to envision your own home, making your body feel heavy and solid."

Envision your home, make your body heavy and solid.

This associative process is slightly complex.

His wife adjusted the angle of the steam, projecting a photograph of a grand mansion onto the wall.

"A superior residence is built to be sturdy and substantial, shielding you from wind and rain in peace, and repelling enemies in war.

Whether it be dragon pits and tiger dens, or mountains of blades and seas of fire, all perils lie beyond the walls—so long as you stand within your home, the Home Cultivator fears nothing."

Li Banfeng deeply understood this point.

For a Home Cultivator, as long as he was inside his own house, even if he roamed the cosmos, he would feel no fear.

The phonograph continued: "Husband, imagine yourself as your own residence, concentrating all its solidity and weight upon your body, making your form utterly invulnerable."

The process was understandable, but it posed a difficulty for Li Banfeng.

He could not envision his own residence—he had never seen its full shape.

What should he do?

Ignore the true appearance of the Residence-in-Body, and imagine only a sturdy mansion!

Li Banfeng tried twice, but his body showed no change.

The phonograph reminded him: "Husband, you must envision OUR home—imagining someone else's mansion is useless."

It must be your own home.

What if you imagine a steam locomotive?

Come to think of it, steam locomotives are quite sturdy.

Li Banfeng tried several times and felt his body had indeed changed, as if a thick layer of iron armor had been layered over him.

This time, it must have succeeded—this iron armor would drastically boost his defense.

Li Banfeng practiced several times and felt he had mastered the technique well.

"Wife, I've learned enough—I'm going to buy groceries," Li Banfeng said, but steam blocked his path.

"Husband, don't rush—let your humble servant test you first."

A test would be good.

Li Banfeng tried to anticipate the phonograph's attack trajectory.

After living together so long, Li Banfeng had some understanding of his wife's fighting habits.

Besides, this was sparring between husband and wife—she wouldn't strike hard; he didn't need to worry about vital spots—she'd likely aim for some inconsequential place…

Hssss!

Li Banfeng was scalded by steam, his entire body turning bright red.

"Oh, husband, I used only one-tenth of my strength, and you still couldn't block it—your technique wasn't activated at all."

Li Banfeng paused a moment, then said: "I thought you were going to stab me with the needle—I didn't expect you'd use steam."

The phonograph chuckled: "Oh, husband, still not convinced? I said 'life-or-death strike,' but never said it had to be with a blade."

Li Banfeng scratched under the phonograph's armpit: "My dear wife, you've gone bad."

The phonograph laughed for a while: "Husband, stop fooling around—focus on learning the technique."

His wife was right—in battle, you never know what tricks your opponent will use.

Being merely hard isn't enough—you must resist fire, withstand high temperatures, resist corrosion… every aspect must be considered.

Li Banfeng calmed his mind, pondering every detail for over half an hour, then said to the phonograph: "I'm ready now—strike whenever you wish."

The phonograph nodded: "Husband, your posture is good—the technique is activated, but it may still be useless."

Li Banfeng didn't understand: "If it's activated, how can it still be useless?"

"Oh, husband, let your humble servant give an analogy," the phonograph cleared her throat, and drums and gongs suddenly erupted, "The righteous qi surges to the heavens, startling the stars into cold, glittering flight!"

Excerpt from the Peking Opera "Battle of Red Cliffs," "Farewell in Valor."

Li Banfeng collapsed to the floor with a thud.

The technique had not been activated at all.

Li Banfeng had forgotten to soundproof himself.

The "Farewell in Valor" was sung with great power, shaking Li Banfeng to his core, drenching him in cold sweat.

If his wife had added even a little more force, Li Banfeng's ears would have been permanently deafened.

After recovering, Li Banfeng gasped for breath: "Let's try again!"

"Oh, husband, we can't try again today—try moving your thoughts, and you'll find you've already used up your strength."

Li Banfeng imagined himself as a steam locomotive again, but this time his body felt no change.

The technique "Residing with a Heart of Depth" can only be used once per day. You failed the first time and barely managed to use it the second time—you won't be able to use it again until tomorrow.

Li Banfeng was unwilling to accept this—he looked at the phonograph: "Wife, you know me—two or three tries mean nothing to me."

The phonograph laughed: "Husband, don't be stubborn—rest now."

He says I'm being stubborn…

In a rage, Li Banfeng pulled out the oil flask.

The phonograph trembled: "Oh, husband, my beloved husband, I meant no mockery—I truly want you to rest, it was my fault for speaking out of turn, I'm sorry, please be gentle, aim carefully…"

His wife's voice grew muffled.

Hongying sneered: "This madman's gone to the wrong place again—may you choke on your own wickedness!"

…

At the Bailu Gate, in the center of the grand dance floor, Lu Dongtang, the eldest son of Lu Mao, held a cup of tea in both hands and presented it to Lu Chunying before the entire clan.

Lu Mao's vengeance had been carried out by Lu Chunying, daughter of the main family; according to Lu family custom, Lu Mao must offer tea to thank her.

Lu Mao claimed his injuries were too severe to rise from bed, so he sent his eldest son, Lu Dongtang, to offer tea in his stead—Lu Chunying accepted willingly.

The occasion was grand, with many attendees—even Lady Duan Shaoxia of the main family had come.

Lu Chunying took the tea cup from Lu Dongtang, sipped, and set it aside.

She stared at Lu Dongtang for a moment, then ordered another cup of tea brought.

"You are my elder, Uncle Dongtang—this tea is my offering to you," Lu Chunying handed the cup to Lu Dongtang.

Lu Chunying had no obligation to return the gesture, but this was Monkey Qiu's arrangement—to demonstrate the dignity of the main family's daughter.

Lu Dongtang's face turned purple with shame; he drank the tea and returned to his seat.

No matter how painful, he had to sit.

Not only he suffered—his entire family did too. Lu Dongtang's youngest daughter, Lu Yuanju, gritted her teeth until they ached.

She was slightly older than Lu Chunying; when she learned her father was to offer tea to a young girl, she had lain awake all night in fury.

She had already prepared for revenge. Though she had not yet entered the Dao, she knew many Dao rules.

She knew that ordinary people who cultivated three Dao paths simultaneously would die without fail.

From this trait, she devised a clever plan to deal with Lu Chunying.

She had prepared three kinds of powdered elixirs—after the banquet ended, she would scatter them all over Lu Chunying!

By seniority, I'm her elder sister—she won't suspect me.

Afterwards, I'll claim I was preparing to enter the Dao myself, hadn't chosen my powder yet, and accidentally spilled it on that girl.

Lu Yuanju stared at Lu Dongtang's face, clenching her fists tightly.

Father!

Don't be distressed!

I'll take the blame for offending the main family!

Let's see what the main family can do to me!

Two hours passed, and the banquet ended.

Lu Chunying was still exchanging pleasantries with Lu family relatives.

"Miss Chunying, I truly admire you—we waited all night and didn't even see a soul, yet you struck and settled it in one move!"

Lu Chunying smiled modestly: "I'm still young, with little cultivation—I owe it all to the efforts of the elders."

Her measured words, neither boastful nor humble, subtly revealed her backing—Monkey Qiu was deeply satisfied.

Others chimed in: "Miss Chunying is brave and wise, generous in character—if you need anything, just command us—we'll all obey the main family's orders."

Outside Bailu Gate, carriages waited. As Lu Chunying stepped forward to board, someone called from behind: "Miss Chunying, wait—I have something for you."

Lu Chunying turned—it was Lu Yuanju: "Sister Yuanju, what is it?"

Lu Yuanju reached into her handbag: "A friend brought this necklace from another province—it's said to be finely crafted. He brought two; I'm giving you one."

"Really!" Lu Chunying widened her eyes, staring at Lu Yuanju's handbag, her right hand slipping quietly to her folding fan.

Lu Yuanju seized the three packets of powder and yanked them out, flinging them toward Lu Chunying.

Lu Chunying was ready—she tapped her toe, stepped back several paces, and evaded the powder.

She unfurled her fan and waved it back and forth.

All three powders drifted onto Lu Yuanju's face, causing her to roll on the ground in agony.

Monkey Qiu shielded Lu Chunying, while Tan Fu stared in shock, whispering: "What kind of powder did she throw?"

Monkey Qiu was equally stunned: "Looks like entrance elixir powder."

Tan Fu didn't understand: "Why would she throw that?"

Monkey Qiu was puzzled, but Lu Chunying said: "She wanted me to absorb multiple powders, then planned to kill me."

Tan Fu frowned: "Who gave her this idiotic idea? She's a novice, a white lamb—how dare she throw elixir powder at a cultivator?"

"If you really have the skill to sprinkle powder on someone, wouldn't it be better to just throw two jin of poison?"

Lu Dongtang rushed out and saw his daughter covered in powder; he immediately ordered someone to call a physician.

The physician glanced at Lu Yuanju and didn't want to touch her—the powder stuck to the skin and burned terribly.

Lu Chunying asked Tan Fucheng: "Big Brother Tan, is she now cultivating three Dao sects at once?"

Tan Fucheng laughed: "What nonsense—does she even have the foundation for that? She doesn't even have enough foundation for one sect; what use is powder on her?"

Seeing Lu Yuanju stop struggling, Lu Chunying asked: "Could she be dead?"

Tan Fucheng shook his head: "Hard to say. Entrance powders damage the body—three kinds of powder like this would cause severe injury."

"If she had even first-level cultivation, she might survive, but she hasn't even entered the path, and she's coated in so much powder—she won't die, but she'll be crippled. What was she thinking?"

Lu Dongtang ordered people to carry Lu Yuanju away, while Duan Shaoxia walked over from Bailingmen.

"Chunying, you handled today's matter with grace—you've brought honor to Dongliang," Duan Shaoxia praised Lu Chunying repeatedly, her eyes filled with tenderness.

Lu Chunying quickly bowed: "Thank you, Lady, for your praise."

Duan Shaoxia smiled: "This child is so sensible. Zhiheng, don't let Chunying live outside—bring her back home."

Qiu Zhiheng looked at Lu Chunying but said nothing.

Lu Chunying bowed again to Duan Shaoxia: "Lady, I've been intensifying my cultivation these past few days. Let me delay the move for now."

Neither agreeing nor refusing.

She held the balance perfectly.

Duan Shaoxia nodded repeatedly, still lavishing praise on Lu Chunying, unaware that a blood vessel had burst in her eye.

Lu Chunying never raised her head; she never once looked directly into Duan Shaoxia's eyes.

…

Li Banfeng sat inside the Personal Dwelling, his mood not good.

He had sparred with his wife for two full days and never won.

Changji sighed: "Husband, perhaps we should stop. The Art of Benevolent Heart requires time to refine."

It truly did require refinement.

His wife's attack methods were bizarre and unpredictable, always catching Li Banfeng off guard.

Once, he thought he'd anticipated everything—only to be scalded all over by a burst of steam before he could even prepare.

"Husband, in battle, life and death are decided in an instant. If you need an hour just to prepare, you won't survive."

Li Banfeng looked at Changji and smiled.

Changji shuddered, thinking Li Banfeng was about to apply machine oil.

Li Banfeng didn't apply oil—he wanted to go out for a walk.

He'd stayed home two days and fallen behind in his traveling cultivation.

He also wanted to gather footage outside, to prepare for his next use of the projector.

Changji broke into a cold sweat; Hongying chuckled beside him: "Didn't expect that madman spared you—last night, I still heard him shouting 'oil pot! Oil pot!'"

Li Banfeng stepped outside—and suddenly sank into a slick, bottomless abyss.

Slick…

What's so slick?

Is this… oil?

Vast amounts of grease surged into his mouth, nose, and eyes.

Did I fall into a vat of oil?

Li Banfeng kicked hard, swimming upward through the grease until he broke the surface.

He looked around.

There was land, a shoreline, and a small island.

This isn't an oil pot—it's a lake. A lake of oil.

How did I get here?

PS: Did the Personal Dwelling misunderstand something?

Gratitude to Patron Midnight★Mole, and to all who support Salad.

(End of Chapter)