Chapter 303: Ancestor of the Oil Cultivators (Begging for Monthly Tickets)

With a face no bigger than a mouthful, he bit down hard on it — Li Bufeng was going to steal his oil.

Li Banfeng got angry: "This oil is stuck all over me — I can't even get rid of it fast enough!"

Small Face barked furiously: "If you've got the nerve, don't take it with you!"

"Who said anything about taking it? If you've got the nerve, take it back yourself!"

"Take your clothes off first!"

"The clothes are mine — on what grounds should I take them off?"

"If you won't take them off, that means you're stealing the oil!"

Unable to reason things out, Li Banfeng kept running.

The gale in the jungle was too fierce, and sand and stones came flying at his face from time to time.

Li Banfeng pushed against the wind and charged outward. Small Face caught up from behind, grabbed Li Banfeng, and said: "There's no time — come with me."

"No time for what?"

"Just come!"

Small Face dragged Li Banfeng in a wild sprint through the jungle, and near a giant tree they saw the entrance to an underground cavern.

Small Face said to Li Banfeng: "Get in!"

Li Banfeng frowned: "Why does it have to be this one?"

"If you don't get in, death is certain!" Small Face dove in first.

Li Banfeng sensed danger closing in, and this cavern really was a place to take shelter. He followed Small Face and went into the cavern together.

The cavern's structure was extremely complex — one could see the giant tree's root system, and also caves of various sizes on the rock walls.

Small Face found a cave at a high elevation to hide in, and beckoned Li Banfeng to come in with him.

After a short while, water began to pool in the cavern, and the water level rose rapidly. The caves at lower elevations were all submerged, and even in the cave where Li Banfeng was, the water was about to reach the cave mouth.

Where did this water come from?

Li Banfeng reached his hand outside the cave mouth, scooped up some of the water, and took a look.

Though very clear, the water was slightly sticky.

Small Face rubbed his nose and said: "I just had a bit of clear snot."

Li Banfeng took the opportunity to wipe the "water" from his hand onto Small Face, and said sincerely: "I really didn't come here to steal your oil."

"Then tell me — how did you end up here?"

"I was hunting on the New Land, and for some reason I fell into the Oil Lake." Li Banfeng made up a reason on the spot.

"New Land? Which patch of New Land?" Small Face still didn't believe him.

Li Banfeng couldn't come up with a better explanation, so he kept making things up: "The New Land at Green Water Bend."

"Green Water Bend? Is there such a place?

Oh, I remember now — it used to be called Beggar Bend, but later that territory was taken over by Green Beggar, and it became Green Water Bend. So then, it was Green Beggar who sent you to steal the oil?"

Li Banfeng frowned: "I don't even know Green Beggar!"

"Then who sent you to steal the oil?"

"Why are you so dead set on believing I came to steal oil?"

"What else could you possibly have come here to do?"

Li Banfeng couldn't explain it clearly.

He thought of a good plan: "How about this — you take all the oil off me, don't leave a single drop. That puts your mind at ease, and it clears my name. But the clothes are mine — I absolutely will not leave them with you."

Small Face thought for a moment and said: "Fine, but this place won't do. Let's go out first and settle the matter."

Li Banfeng looked at the clear liquid outside the cave, then turned to look at Small Face again.

"How about we wait a bit before going out — the tide hasn't gone down yet."

"The tide going down is easy!" Small Face took a deep breath.

Sniffle~

Gulp!

He swallowed his snot.

Li Banfeng turned to look again — the tide had receded, and only the ground was still a little damp.

Following Small Face out of the cavern, Li Banfeng got a rough idea of the overall structure.

This patch of woods was Small Face's nostril, and the lush trees were Small Face's nose hairs.

The cavern from just now was Small Face's pore.

Small Face led Li Banfeng out of the nostril.

In the blink of an eye, the two arrived at another forest. This forest was even more luxuriant — not only could one not see its edges, one couldn't even see the tops of the trees.

This must be a beard, right?

Small Face's beard is quite long!

Small Face stood in front of Li Banfeng, coughed once, and every trace of oil on Li Banfeng's body vanished.

"There, the oil's gone — off you go!" Small Face waved his hand at Li Banfeng.

"Farewell!" Li Banfeng turned and left.

After only two steps, Small Face roared angrily: "You've got my oil stuck to the bottom of your feet — and you still say you didn't come to steal oil!"

Li Banfeng didn't know how to explain himself: "Can we be reasonable here? Oil is everywhere on you — how could I possibly not get any on me?"

Small Face thought for a moment and said: "I want to reason with you, but this matter just isn't reasonable. You were wandering around the New Land at Beggar Bend — you shouldn't have ended up at my place!"

Li Banfeng said: "Unreasonable things are plenty. I'm on your face, and now you're standing right in front of me — do you think that's reasonable?"

Small Face thought it over — it really wasn't very reasonable.

When he looked up again, Li Banfeng was already gone without a trace.

"Where do you think you're going? Stop right there!"

Li Banfeng ran forward without looking back.

This matter can't be explained clearly, so let's just not talk about it.

Since I've been to the nostril before, I'll just burrow into the nostril, and once I'm deep enough, I'll make you sneeze me out!

Little-Face-Not-Big seemed to see through Li Banfeng's intention and shouted loudly: "Go ahead and try! I'll drown you right here, drown you in yellow snot!"

……

Green Water City, East of the City, Lu Chunying's Residence.

Lu Chunying tilted her face up, letting Xiao Ye Zi flip her eyelid.

"Mom, look carefully — are there any blood streaks in my eyes?"

"Darling, Mom has been flipping your eyelids for half an hour now. Your eyes are completely red, blood streaks everywhere!"

Lu Chunying rubbed her eyes and said: "Brother Qiu told me that after meeting Lady Duan, I had to watch my eyes carefully. If blood streaks appear, something terrible is going to happen."

Xiao Ye Zi was also worried. She examined Lu Chunying for a long while, then shook her head and said: "Darling, close your eyes and rest for a bit first. Once the blood streaks fade, I'll take another good look."

……

At the Lu family mansion, Qiu Zhiheng was reading a newspaper in the small building when Zhang Huaiyi knocked and walked in.

Qiu Zhiheng looked surprised: "Young Master Zhang, when did you arrive?"

Before this, Qiu Zhiheng had always called him Huaiyi, but now he addressed him uniformly as Young Master Zhang.

Zhang Huaiyi smiled and said: "My mother personally went to the kitchen, stir-fried a few dishes, and asked me to invite you over for a meal."

"Has Lady Shaohong arrived?" Qiu Zhiheng deliberately brought up Duan Shaohong.

"What I meant was…" Zhang Huaiyi's expression turned awkward for a moment. He looked at Qiu Zhiheng and said, "Uncle Qiu, actually I am…"

Qiu Zhiheng quietly waited for him to finish.

Zhang Huaiyi didn't know where to begin.

……

Three days later, Li Banfeng and Little-Face-Not-Big sat side by side in a canyon, each holding a roast chicken, slowly gnawing away.

This canyon was Little-Face-Not-Big's forehead wrinkle.

Li Banfeng held the roast chicken and inspected it many times, still not quite at ease: "This chicken — it didn't grow on your face, did it?"

Little-Face-Not-Big said angrily: "Have you ever seen a chicken growing on someone's face? I went outside to hunt and brought this back!"

To tell the truth, this roast chicken tasted pretty good, just a bit too greasy.

"Got any greens? Something to cut the grease."

"Cut what grease?" Little-Face-Not-Big was unhappy. "When I was little, getting to eat something oily and meaty once would make me happy for days, and you still want to cut the grease!"

Li Banfeng gnawed on a chicken wing and asked: "Just because you couldn't get oily food as a kid, you made all this oil?"

Little-Face-Not-Big gnawed on a chicken leg and sighed: "What's wrong with oil? It's fragrant and smooth. All the delicacies in the world come from oil.

Dishes without oil can't make it to the table, people without oil can't make it to the stage. As long as there's still oil on the table, life isn't too hard. Don't you think oil is the best thing in this world?"

Li Banfeng nodded and said: "I didn't say oil was bad, but I really didn't come to steal oil."

Little-Face-Not-Big nodded and said: "I believe you. We've spent these three days together, and I can tell your character is pretty decent.

But there's one thing you did wrong — you shouldn't have peed on my face."

Li Banfeng said: "I had no choice. It's been three whole days — where else could I have peed?"

Little-Face-Not-Big still felt uncomfortable: "You could have peed on my cheek, but you shouldn't have peed by my mouth!"

"All I saw was a tree there — how was I supposed to know that was your mouth!"

"That wasn't a tree, that was my mustache!" Little-Face-Not-Big said with a face full of resentment. "I really do want to let you go, but I can't set my heart at ease."

Li Banfeng tried to reassure him: "Don't worry. If you don't let me go, things won't be as simple as peeing on your face."

Little-Face-Not-Big looked at Li Banfeng and said: "Banfeng, you know where I am. I'm afraid you'll leak the information, and people from the Inner Province will find me here.

It's not that I don't trust your character, but what if you're captured by people from the Inner Province and they torture you? Can you guarantee you won't reveal my whereabouts?"

Li Banfeng said: "Don't worry about that — I definitely can't guarantee that.

But you could just not let me know where you are. After you send me away, you could move somewhere else!"

"I can't move. I can't move at all."

Li Banfeng was startled: "Why can't you move?"

"I just… can't move…" Little-Face-Not-Big's expression turned somewhat sorrowful.

The two silently ate their roast chicken. When they were nearly halfway done, Little-Face-Not-Big said to Li Banfeng: "You said you came here all confused, and I believe you. I'll figure out a way to send you out all confused too, so you won't even know how you left. We'll just pretend we never met."

"Deal! Once I'm out, I'll act like I never met you. I won't tell a single soul!" Li Banfeng put down his half-eaten roast chicken and thumped his chest in agreement.

Little-Face-Not-Big sighed and said: "Are there still any disciples of my Dao Sect in this world?"

"You mean Oil Cultivators, right?"

Little-Face-Not-Big nodded.

"Yes! I've run into two."

Little-Face-Not-Big blinked his little eyes, a hint of excitement appearing on his face: "Are they both doing okay?"

How should I put this?

One is a lightbulb, in the Outer Province. I hit him with a spicy stick — he should be fine.

He's from the Dark Star Bureau, so his life should be going pretty well.

The other is called Rong Jin'an, a branch hanger-on at the Geng family medicine shop. He almost tortured Qin Xiaopang to death.

I fed him to my wife. Does that count as doing well?

"Good! All good!" Li Banfeng gave his answer according to his own understanding.

"All good is fine, having a disciple is fine!" Small Face Not Big rose and said, "When you see the Peddler later, remember to tell him, ask him to come save me."

"Alright, I promise."

Small Face Not Big said angrily, "Didn't you just say you wouldn't tell anyone? Now you want to tell the Peddler!"

"That was you telling me to—"

Before Li Banfeng could finish explaining, Small Face Not Big charged at him, and Li Banfeng took off running again.

Small Face Not Big chased Li Banfeng the whole way, through a vast forest stretching for dozens of miles.

There were quite a few oil lakes in the middle of the forest, and Li Banfeng circled along the shores one by one.

Small Face Not Big shouted, "This is my eyebrow!"

After the forehead came the eyebrow, and the place where he had eaten the chicken earlier really was a forehead wrinkle.

Li Banfeng had no mind to admire the scenery and kept running ahead. Before long, a stretch of wasteland appeared ahead.

No grass, no trees, nothing at all, only wasteland—wasteland that was flat overall with slight rises and falls.

"This is my eye!" Small Face Not Big caught up from behind.

Li Banfeng kept running.

Every pimple on Face Not Big's face could form a lake, so by Li Banfeng's reckoning, the area of a single eye must be nearly the size of an ocean.

But he saw no ocean, only wasteland—boundless wasteland.

He ran for who knows how long, and finally the wasteland disappeared. The terrain gradually rose, and ahead stood a tall mountain. Li Banfeng had been to this place before.

Face Not Big shouted, "This is my nose!"

Li Banfeng turned his head and shouted, "I didn't see your eye!"

"It's been covered!"

Li Banfeng was puzzled.

Small Face Not Big repeated, "My eye has been covered."

The kind that covers the eye.

He said there are people in Neizhou who cover eyes.

His eye was covered by someone from Neizhou?

After running for a long while more, Small Face Not Big shouted, "Stop!"

Li Banfeng stopped for the moment, hands on his knees, panting nonstop.

Actually, he had gotten used to it. Over these three days, he had pushed his Daoist techniques to the limit, trying every way to deal with Face Not Big.

Small Face Not Big stood a dozen or so meters away and asked Li Banfeng, "You know the Old Train's footwork, and you can sing 'The Train Ballad'—you're a friend of the Old Train, aren't you?"

"I'm his brother!"

"Good, I believe you!" Face Not Big nodded slightly. "You say you didn't steal my oil, but why is my oil less?"

How would I know about that?

Could it be that wretched Glove stole the oil?

That can't be said carelessly.

Li Banfeng said, "Maybe it leaked away, blown by wind and sun, dried up by evaporation, maybe."

"Dried up?" Face Not Big laughed. "You really don't know what this place is?"

"I really don't know!"

Face Not Big looked around and sighed, "This place is bitter, truly bitter, I've lived so bitterly. I want to tell others how bitter I am, but no one talks to me!"

Li Banfeng was silent for a moment, then said, "I've talked to you plenty these past days."

"Yes, yes, talked plenty. I'll let you go, send you to the new land at Huazi Bay, but you can't take the oil with you! Keep running ahead!"

Li Banfeng ran ahead another several dozen miles. A gust of wild wind blew up, and Li Banfeng's body floated into midair.

Face Not Big shouted, "You can't take the oil with you, I've taken it all back!"

The oil and moisture on Li Banfeng's body vanished completely.

"If you meet the Old Train, tell him: burning oil is better than burning coal!"

The air current rose sharply, and Li Banfeng flew out through a crack. First there was pitch darkness, then a dense cloud of dust and smoke that kept Li Banfeng from opening his eyes for a long while.

When the dust settled, Li Banfeng fell to the ground. When he opened his eyes and looked, he saw a great rotting tree and vines coiled around the tree.

This was a common sight on new land; Li Banfeng seemed to have been here before.

The new land at Lüshui Bay was no longer unfamiliar to Li Banfeng. As long as he figured out the direction, he could quickly find his way back to Zhengjing Village.

Sitting on the ground to rest for a moment, Li Banfeng took out the Glove.

"Speak, did you steal the oil?"

The Glove used its index finger as a head and shook it repeatedly, "Why would I steal that stuff?"

"You really didn't steal it?"

"Didn't steal it!" The Glove was very aggrieved. "I only stole half a roast chicken, and it was your leftover."

After saying that, the Glove spat out the roast chicken.

Li Banfeng laughed, "Look at you, so petty. Why did you steal the chicken?"

To be fair, the roast chicken Face Not Big made was very tasty.

What exactly had he been through?

Was he the patriarch of the Oil Cultivators?

Where exactly was he?

He knew the Train Eunuch, and he knew the Peddler. The Train Eunuch was hard to find—if he ran into the Peddler someday, he must remember to ask.

Actually, I don't necessarily have to ask the peddler — I can go see him myself.

Later, when I have more means to deal with him, it wouldn't hurt to go to Oil Lake and see him again.

Li Banfeng picked up the roast chicken, wanting to take another couple of bites, when suddenly he saw the roast chicken was gone.

"Who?" Li Banfeng started in shock!

A woman's voice came from beside his ear: "Fine, I agree."

Li Banfeng was taken aback: "What did you agree to?"

The woman replied: "Begin the examination!"

A halo of light lit up around the plot of land.

PS: What is this examination supposed to test?

(End of chapter)