Chapter 83: Discerning Spiritual Sounds

Second level?

Second-level Zhai Xiu?

Isn’t it supposed to take ten years to reach first-level cultivation?

You’ve only just entered the path for two months—how are you already at second-level Zhai Xiu?

I nearly forgot: Zhai Xiu advancement is tied to the Zhai Spirit. According to Luo Yuni, if a Zhai Xiu fails to please the Zhai Spirit, no matter how many years they cultivate, they cannot advance.

This led Li Banfeng to misunderstand, believing that the Zhai Spirit’s advancement only produced counter-effects.

But he never imagined the Zhai Spirit had ways to accelerate advancement—ways so drastic, Li Banfeng couldn’t believe they were real.

Ten years of time!

In less than three months since becoming a Zhai Xiu, Li Banfeng had gained what others spent ten years cultivating?

That’s impossible!

Li Banfeng craved cultivation base—he’d even dreamed of advancing ten levels to gain triple lifespan.

But there are no free gifts in this world; every gift comes at a price.

Just as pills can replace cultivation, but pills are expensive, and all pills are poisonous.

Li Banfeng didn’t beat around the bush—he asked the phonograph directly: “To give me second-level cultivation, what do you want me to do?”

Chii~

The phonograph sang plaintively: “My dear husband, we’re so deeply in love—why say such unpleasant things?”

Li Banfeng sneered: “When you turned on me before, where did your love go?”

Chii-chii~

The phonograph snorted twice: “Oh, husband, you wound me—how can a married couple not quarrel? Isn’t it always bedhead fights, bedtail reconciliation? I just threw a tantrum—you can beat me, you can scold me—but don’t hold a grudge, okay~?”

Li Banfeng got up from the floor, brushing dust off his body: “Fine, I won’t hold a grudge. What do you actually want? Say it plainly.”

“Husband, I only want you—nothing else.”

“Spit it out. What do you want?”

“I’ve devoted myself entirely to you—how can you ignore it?”

“Say it now. What do you want?”

The phonograph wept: “All my devotion—why can’t I earn even a sliver of your sincerity?”

Li Banfeng put on his hat: “If you don’t speak, I’m leaving.”

The phonograph stopped crying: “Husband, I’m hungry.”

Li Banfeng sat back on the bed, rubbing his face, silent for a long while.

My precious wife.

She’s hungry again.

Back in the deep mountains, Li Banfeng summoned a group of corpses controlled by Luo Yuni—the phonograph devoured them and elevated Li Banfeng to first level.

During this time, Li Banfeng found the phonograph many fresh souls and even fed her fifteen spirit servants with cultivation—she was thoroughly satisfied, and rewarded Li Banfeng with another level.

She was satisfied—but what now?

Where are souls so easy to find?

“Wife, how long will you keep eating? Didn’t you just eat yesterday?”

Chii~

The phonograph sneered: “Husband, how can you say that? You ate yesterday—do you not eat today?”

Li Banfeng nodded: “Actually, I haven’t eaten today.”

“Husband’s hungry too—go eat quickly, then buy groceries, and come home early.”

“Buy groceries? Where am I supposed to get them? Every day I feed you corpses—do you think I’m a murderer?”

Chii~

Clang-clang-clang~

The phonograph laughed bitterly: “Husband, how many people have you killed?”

Li Banfeng snapped: “I’m not a monster—I’ve reached second level. There should be techniques now, right?”

“Techniques? Of course. Listen closely, my dear, listen very, very, very closely~”

Li Banfeng blinked: “Wife, why are you stuttering?”

“Husband, give me a little more oil.”

Li Banfeng fetched the oil can, opened the cover—and saw the water tank boiling, steam churning, one cloud after another, unceasing.

The phonograph could do anything—clean the house, wash clothes, kill—but she could not oil herself.

“Wife, you can add fuel—why can’t you add oil?”

The phonograph replied: “Fuel goes in the front cabinet—I can reach it. Oil goes in the back chamber—I can’t reach it.”

Li Banfeng suddenly understood.

So the front cabinet and back chamber are different.

Chii~

The phonograph cried out: “Husband, it’s not that spot that’s low on oil—

Husband, don’t touch that water valve—

Husband, be careful with that gear—don’t oil that screw—

Husband~

Husband~”

The phonograph called out repeatedly.

Li Banfeng closed the cover, sat beside the phonograph, and said quietly: “Wife, tell me the technique—I’m listening carefully.”

Seeing Li Banfeng’s serious expression, the phonograph asked: “Husband, why so serious again?”

Li Banfeng nodded: “I’ve always been serious.”

“Husband, are you feeling satisfied now?”

Li Banfeng nodded.

“Satisfied from just a few words?”

Li Banfeng nodded.

The phonograph fell silent for a long while, then sang slowly and softly: “Husband, shall I wash your clothes?”

Li Banfeng nodded: “Of course I need them washed.”

“Huu~! You madman!” All three speakers spat smoke as the phonograph roared: “Next time, can you at least take it out first? Every time it’s a whole mess—you have no idea how hard laundry is?”

Li Banfeng changed into fresh clothes and sat beside the phonograph: “Wife, tell me the technique—I’ll lean in close.”

“Don’t come close—don’t get so near—or I’ll have to wash another one.” The phonograph blasted steam to push Li Banfeng back, then spoke:

“The second-level technique is called ‘Discerning Spiritual Sounds’—it’s cultivation of the ears.”

Again, cultivation of the ears?

Li Banfeng picked up the golden earring forged by Zhou Yujuan and asked: “Isn’t this the ‘Wind-Listening Ears’? Now I’ve learned another ear-based technique—is this redundant?”

“Husband, this isn’t redundant—Wind-Listening Ears let you hear farther; Discerning Spiritual Sounds lets you hear more.

Many spiritual things exist in this world—each can speak, but ordinary people can’t understand them. If you focus your intent and listen with your heart, you’ll hear their voices.”

Li Banfeng liked this technique.

It suited the homebody’s nature.

Homebodies always hear more than others—they hear the whimper of collectibles, the lament of manga books—because they take life more seriously.

Li Banfeng pressed his ear against the phonograph and listened intently.

Chii-chii~

The phonograph grew tense.

“H-Husband, why are you pressing your ear to my belly? Am I going to bear you a child now?”

“Where are the spiritual sounds?” Li Banfeng hugged the phonograph for a long time, hearing nothing.

Chii-chii~

The phonograph scoffed: “Husband, I can speak to you—you don’t need the technique to hear me.”

True—no need to listen here.

What else is spiritual?

Li Banfeng picked up the bronze lotus and listened closely—but heard nothing.

“Wife, isn’t this one spiritual?”

Chii-chii~ The phonograph sighed:

“That jade lotus is indeed spiritual—but her level is too high, and she’s too shy. You can’t yet hear her spiritual voice.”

The bronze lotus’s level is too high too?

What else has spirit?

Does the Zhai Spirit itself have spirit?

Li Banfeng pressed his ear to the wall, focusing his intent, listening intently.

The phonograph cried out urgently: “Husband, don’t!”

Huh-huh~

What was that sound?

Om~~

Li Banfeng heard a low, prolonged hum, then rolled his eyes back and collapsed to the ground.

This house is truly extraordinary; no wonder that bitch Honglian was so cautious, too afraid to fight me openly. Maybe I was reckless to follow this madman in blindly.

PS: I picked up the mobile hard drive filled with precious data; I can hear her speaking to me.

Dear readers, try it yourselves—you really can hear her!

(End of Chapter)