Chapter 5: Cats Have Cat Diseases, and People Have the Prime Minister's Disease (Seeking Monthly Votes)

"Many thanks to my Lord for forgiving this subject's breach of etiquette." The tabby cat scrambled up from the floor with a lithe movement, shook its fur like a dog, and said while wagging its head: "Reporting to my Lord, the Piaoji Jiangjun urges you to prioritize your own safety; she will guard the Imperial Palace well and await your command."

"Setting up official ranks in private—are you planning to rebel?" Xie Qingwu's face turned pale with shock, her eyes filled with astonishment. No wonder this thief was so bold and reckless; he was actually the leader of a rebel faction.

The next second, she lunged violently toward a pillar.

If the other party were merely a mountain bandit, she could cooperate with him to survive, but as a rebel, she could not have any connection with him for the sake of her family, lest she be implicated and her entire clan executed. In such a situation, she would rather die.

Damn, this young lady is a ruthless one! Pei Shaoqing was startled. With quick hands and eyes, he stepped forward to block her path and took the opportunity to pull her into his arms. With a dark face, he explained in a tone both helpless and speechless: "The one who wants to rebel is that cat, it has nothing to do with me. The official ranks were all made up by it; I am just a law-abiding citizen who only robs the rich and helps the poor."

This cat was obsessed with helping him restore the world, bestowing official ranks upon every mountain bandit, and even appointing itself as military advisor and Grand General. Of course, no one paid it any mind.

"My Lord, since the secret is out, why not simply kill her to offer a sacrifice to the banner? Your fame is widespread; with a wave of your arm, no thief within a hundred miles would dare disobey. We shall strike into Tianjing and seize that old emperor's bird-throne!" Li Jiangjun ran up to him on all fours, stood on its hind legs, and said excitedly.

"Get lost, I'll die by your mouth sooner or later." Pei Shaoqing kicked it away, then looked down at the somewhat bewildered Xie Qingwu in his arms and said: "See? This cat has a serious brain disease; don't take what it says seriously."

"Oh my, that truly pains this subject."

"I can see that." Xie Qingwu nodded subconsciously and replied in a low voice, only then realizing she was still being held in his arms, and hurriedly broke free with a start.

Pei Shaoqing called out in a deep voice: "Li Jiangjun."

"The subordinate is here!" The tabby cat, which had been rubbing its backside the second before, sprang up like a spring and ran forward the next.

Pei Shaoqing pointed at Xie Qingwu, "From now on, you will disguise yourself as an ordinary house cat and stay by her side. Help me keep a close eye on her; I want to know everything she does, everyone she meets, and everything she says every day."

He would not fully trust this woman until she was completely bound to him; she had to be monitored. People were easily turned, but while this cat had a sick brain, it was loyal to him, making it perfect for this position.

Xie Qingwu had long been mentally prepared for being monitored, but she hadn't expected a cat to be in charge of it.

"This... I ask my Lord to retract this order!" The tabby cat glanced at Xie Qingwu and refused immediately. Its eyes were full of seriousness and longing, and the stray whiskers around its mouth trembled as it said: "This subject still needs to scheme for my Lord's grand ambition; with affairs so complex, how can I waste my time and energy on this woman?"

"Are you defying my decree?" Pei Shaoqing's expression turned cold.

The tabby cat opened its mouth, finally bowed its head slowly, and closed its eyes with difficulty, "This subject... obeys."

The bystander Xie Qingwu: "............"

Cats have cat diseases, and people have cat diseases too.

"Do you know who she is?" Pei Shaoqing asked the tabby cat, pointing at Xie Qingwu. To prevent the cat from being careless, he felt it necessary to make it realize the seriousness, difficulty, and necessity of its mission.

The tabby cat shook its head. The Piaoji Jiangjun had only told it to deliver a message, but hadn't told it what had happened.

Pei Shaoqing said with a straight face: "She is the daughter of the current Anning Earl. Her husband was the youngest son of the Weiyuan Marquis, who looked extremely similar to me. I killed her husband and took his place to serve as a Small Flag in the Jing'an Guard of the Tongzhou Hundred-Household Office. Whether she remains calm or not concerns my life and death."

"So that's how it is! This subject understands! This subject understands everything!" The tabby cat widened its round eyes, its fat trembling with excitement, and said with rapid breathing: "Please rest assured, my Lord! With this subordinate watching this woman, she won't be able to ruin your grand plan."

So the Lord wasn't uninterested in hegemony, but was taking a different path. How wise, how brilliant!

"Good that you understand." Pei Shaoqing nodded and waved his hand: "Go down now, come back tonight."

"As you command, this subordinate takes his leave!" The tabby cat crossed its front paws behind its back, dropped to all fours, and ran away lightly.

Only then did the quiet Xie Qingwu ask: "How is it that you have a Demon by your side?"

"Found it," Pei Shaoqing answered casually. Come to think of it, if he hadn't encountered a Demon himself, he would have thought the legends of immortals and ghosts in this world were all fake.

According to legends and ancient records, thousands of years ago and even further back, demons and monsters roamed the world, and Qi practitioners were common. But later, for some unknown reason, the spiritual energy suddenly withered, and cultivators and demons all reached the end of their lifespans and passed away. All kinds of spells and secret manuals became waste paper, and only the Martial Artist path, where great power returns to the self, was passed down. Yet, although Martial Artists could still shatter stones and traverse the air, they could no longer hope for longevity.

"Help me find one too," Xie Qingwu didn't believe his words at all. "Do you know that, excluding those beasts that have gained intelligence, there are no more than five great Demons in the world today that can speak human language or even take human form?"

That cat, though it had a sick brain, was a great Demon capable of human speech! How terrifying was that?

"Uh... you might have misunderstood. Li Jiangjun only accidentally consumed a strange fruit in its early years, which opened its intelligence and allowed it to speak. It has no real skills or supernatural powers itself. Otherwise, with such a great Demon by my side, why would I have to lead people to be bandits in the mountains?" Pei Shaoqing shook his head and explained.

Xie Qingwu was stunned. Oh, that's true. Then, half-envious and half-regretful, she said, "To be able to encounter a strange fruit that is rare in a hundred years, that cat is truly lucky."

Strange fruits indeed. Since the spiritual energy withered, such rare flowers and fruits in this world had become fewer and fewer, hard to find.

"I'll take a short nap first." Pei Shaoqing yawned, walked to the bed, and collapsed onto it.

Xie Qingwu came back to her senses, stepped forward, and reached out to pull him, "You sleep here, where am I supposed to sleep tonight?"

"Here, of course. We are husband and wife, after all. Do you want to sleep in separate rooms? What would people think if word got out?" Pei Shaoqing opened his eyes and said.

Xie Qingwu let go and said with a straight face: "I agreed to cooperate with you, but it is absolutely impossible for me to share a bed with you. You also promised not to touch my body."

"Who said sleeping in the same room means sharing a bed?" Pei Shaoqing retorted, and without waiting for her answer, he added: "One sleeps on the bed, one sleeps on the floor."

Seeing him so open, Xie Qingwu, feeling she had judged a gentleman with a petty mind, felt a bit embarrassed, "Isn't it bad to let you sleep on the floor?"

"Of course that would be bad!" Pei Shaoqing immediately sat up with a carp-like leap, stared at her, and said righteously: "So naturally you sleep on the floor and I sleep on the bed. You want me to sleep on the floor? What are you thinking? Am I the kind of person who would wrong myself for the sake of others?"

This woman really had a wild imagination.

"You..." Xie Qingwu was furious, her chest heaving with every breath. She took a deep breath to calm herself and gritted her teeth: "I'll sleep on the floor, fine!"

This bastard was more courageous, resourceful, and ruthless than her dead husband, but he was also more shameless and rogue!

"Mmhmm." Pei Shaoqing collapsed back to sleep and added a reminder, "You'd better stay away from me."

"Why?" Xie Qingwu frowned and asked.

"I like to kill in my dreams."

He had the tastes of a Prime Minister, and the illness of a Prime Minister as well.

Xie Qingwu was half-doubting, is that true or false?

……………………………

Waking up from his nap, it was already late. Just as Pei Shaoqing was about to ask Xie Qingwu what time it was, the door was knocked.

"Sir, Hundred-Household Zheng has sent someone to pick you up for the banquet."

Chen Youfu's voice came from outside the door.

"Tell him to wait," Pei Shaoqing replied domineeringly, then added: "Call someone to bring water for me to wash up."

"Yes."

Xie Qingwu put down the book in her hand and glanced sideways at Pei Shaoqing. This thief's arrogance didn't even need acting to impersonate her husband; if anything, he should have been more restrained.

Before long, Cui'er and Liu'er brought in water and towels to serve Pei Shaoqing as he washed up.

After dismissing the two, Pei Shaoqing looked at Xie Qingwu and smiled slightly, "My lady, please wait patiently at home. If you're hungry, have the servants prepare food. Your husband will be back soon; I certainly won't leave you to spend the night alone in the bridal chamber."

"I want to spend the night as a widow," Xie Qingwu said, rolling her eyes at his teasing remark.

Pei Shaoqing shook his head, "My lady is already a widow; how could I let you remain a widow again?"

Immediately after, he laughed loudly and walked out the door, while Li Jiangjun jumped to the doorway from who knows where, let out a meow, and walked slowly into the room with head held high and chest puffed out, gait elegant.

(End of this chapter)