Chapter 20

Others don't know who Hu Xiaotian is, but everyone knows Xu Zhengying, and they think Xu Zhengying today and Wu Jing-shan are like tearing faces apart, going at it drum against drum, gong against gong.

Only Xu Zhengying realizes he's been kidnapped by Hu Xiaotian; even if his heart is bitter, he can only swallow his broken teeth. Xu Zhengying is clearly not the leader of this group, while the unscrupulous Hu Xiaotian is already grinning and getting friendly with Huo Xiaoru: "Miss Huo, what would you like to drink?"

Huo Xiaoru glanced at the teapot on the table, smiled, and said, "Do I have a choice?"

Hu Xiaotian nodded and said, "At least there are two choices."

Huo Xiaoru recalled what he had just said, quickly shook her head and said, "I'd rather not choose." Seeing his smile always gave her a sense of some indefinable malice; she feared he would utter something vulgar. The reason she chose to sit beside him was half because she was attracted by his revealed talent, and half because of her aversion to Wu Jing-shan and his crowd. But seeing Hu Xiaotian's carefree smile, she felt a bit of regret; this guy was probably just a spoiled aristocrat, and there's no guarantee his stunning talent just now wasn't a fleeting flash of inspiration. Yet having come this far, she could only accept it calmly; Huo Xiaoru could only remain composed at this point.

Hu Xiaotian said, "There's tea, and there's plain water; I think Miss Huo would be better suited to drink plain water."

Huo Xiaoru smiled and said, "How do you know that?"

"Plain water brings out the lotus! Only plain water is worthy of Miss Huo's peerless beauty."

Xu Zhengying was genuinely impressed by Hu Xiaotian's talent upon hearing the first half, but upon hearing the second half he turned his face, and with a 'puff!' spat out a mouthful of tea onto the ground—I said, "Can you get any more corny?"

Hu Xiaotian took great offense at Xu Zhengying's odd behavior, "What the hell, am I mistaken? I'm here trying to pick up girls, and you, Xu Zhengying, have lived all these years in vain without knowing when to step aside? You don't realize you're a superfluous lightbulb—forget it, this guy will never see a lightbulb in his lifetime."

The little maid behind Huo Xiaoru giggled, her smile sweet, revealing two pure white little rabbit teeth.

Huo Xiaoru smiled and said, "You really know how to speak, may I ask your esteemed name, sir?"

Hu Xiaotian said, "Hu Xiaotian!"

The two got along swimmingly, while the literati filling the hall were reduced to mere backdrop.

The Minister of Rites Wu Jing-shan gave Su Qingkun a glance; although Wu Jing-shan was furious and wanted to storm off, he couldn't leave, for a man of letters prides himself on his integrity and cherishes his reputation—if he walked out now, tomorrow the Minister of Rites would be a laughingstock throughout the capital, and he, esteemed in literary circles and seasoned in officialdom for half a life, could not possibly lose to an unweaned yellow-mouthed brat.

Sirs, esteemed talents, today we have gathered at the Yan Shui Pavilion. We are fortunate to have invited the leader of the Mei Shan school, Minister of Rites Wu, Sir, and we have especially summoned the renowned talent of the capital, Miss Huo Xiaoru. This truly is a rare gathering of the capital's literary world. I propose we bond through literature, each display our abilities, compose another timeless verse for the beautiful scenery of the Yan Shui Pavilion, and add splendid writings to the prosperous age of Dakang.

Everyone shouted approval in unison; although there had been some unpleasantness earlier, and Minister of Rites Wu Jing-shan had lost face, his standing remained, so the crowd nominated him to propose a topic. After a brief respite, Wu Jing-shan recovered somewhat from his earlier displeasure, took a sip of tea, rose, and paced back and forth with a deeply furrowed brow, appearing lost in thought.

In Hu Xiaotian's view, this old fellow was clearly putting on airs, playing deep, surely hatching some nefarious scheme, and there's an eighty percent chance it was aimed at him.

When Minister of Rites Wu Jing-shan's gaze fell on Huo Xiaoru, his brows suddenly relaxed and he smiled, saying, "Well then, let me propose a topic—how about we compose a couplet together?" Composing poetry and couplets is the favorite pastime of talented scholars and beauties; even someone as venerable as Wu Jing-shan cannot escape it, for there's no help—it's just his forte.

Everyone shouted approval in unison; Wu Jing-shan halted his pacing, his eyes fixed on Huo Xiaoru's half‑veiled lovely face, and said, "Listen up, everyone—my upper couplet is: 'Silk dyed becomes color, add a few embellishments and it becomes literature!'"

The crowd again roared applause; Wu Jing-shan's upper couplet was indeed brilliant, cleverly embedding two characters within it. Such a couplet demands not only precise parallelism but also the same two‑character insertion, truly a hidden marvel—showing that the leader of the Mei Shan school is no empty reputation.

Hearing the praise, Wu Jing-shan couldn't help feeling a bit pleased, his confidence gradually returning, and he turned his gaze toward Xu Zhengying.

Xu Zhengying furrowed his brows; he was known for his learning and was no ignorant blockhead. After a moment he said, "Got it! My lower couplet is: 'Wood that becomes a tyrant remains a tyrant, yet without humanity still calls itself king!'"

Upon hearing the lower couplet, everyone praised it without reserve, and Xu Zhengying's face lit up with pride—today he finally regained some face thanks to his own learning.

Wu Jing-shan nodded and said, "Not bad, the match is fairly well‑balanced."

At this moment someone else said, "I also have a couplet!" It was the son of the Hanlin Academy Grand Secretary, Qiu Zhigao, who, after successfully drawing everyone's attention, proclaimed loudly: "Water plus the wine radical makes wine; if one can turn back, one becomes a person!"

"Good!" came another round of applause; as Qiu Zhigao delivered his couplet, his gaze rested on Hu Xiaotian's table. His couplet held a hidden meaning—advising Hu Xiaotian to turn back, while also a double entendre calling him inhuman, and on another level currying favor with the nearby Minister of Rites Wu Jing-shan; Wu Jing-shan caught the drift, and a faint smile finally appeared on his face.

Hu Xiaotian acted as if he hadn't heard, and Huo Xiaoru remained silent. Qiu Zhigao, looking at their table while delivering his couplet, not only insulted Hu Xiaotian but also seemed to vent his displeasure at her sitting there, urging her to turn back soon. Huo Xiaoru kept her composure, but the little maid clutching her behind could no longer hold back: "What's the big deal? I could come up with a couplet like that myself."

Hearing this, the crowd was stunned, thinking, "This maid is far too ignorant of her place—what sort of people are gathered here? All are talents of the highest caliber, great scholars and great writers; what could a mere maid possibly understand?"

The maid said, "A woman's lowly status makes her a maid; why should a woman not be called a slave?" As soon as she spoke, the four sides were astonished; the supposed literati were all shocked beyond belief—no one had expected the dog‑holding maid beside Huo Xiaoru to produce such an exquisite lower couplet. Her remark left those who prided themselves on literary talent secretly ashamed, and it made Minister of Rites Wu and the others look dim by comparison.

The Censor‑in‑Chief Su Qingkun said, "I also have a couplet: On a bitterly cold day, water freezes without exception." He spoke up then to ease the awkward atmosphere; his couplet was indeed neat and clever, and the crowd burst into applause again.

After finishing, Su Qingkun cupped his hands to the crowd, obviously pleased with his own lower couplet, then he smiled narrowly at Huo Xiaoru and said, "Miss Huo, do you happen to have a more clever lower couplet?"

Huo Xiaoru gave a faint smile, about to speak, when Hu Xiaotian beside her declared, "I've thought of a couplet!" His voice was remarkably loud, as if he feared nobody would notice him, and he abruptly rose to his feet.

Su Qingkun thought, "Who do you think you are? Why must you come out just to seek attention?" He had just been cursed by Hu Xiaotian as a 'dog's head splattered with blood,' and he heartily hated this brat.

Seeing Hu Xiaotian rise again, Minister of Rites Wu Jing-shan's lips twitched with a cold smile; in his view, their earlier verbal sparring was merely this brat using his sharp tongue to gain an advantage, not any real learning, and when it came to genuine scholarship, how much could a youth possibly understand?

Hu Xiaotian's eyesight was sharp enough to see Wu Jing-shan's contempt from afar, and he laughed, saying, "My lower couplet is: 'Human words are trust; without the Minister of Rites, one is a villain!'"

The venue fell instantly silent; Hu Xiaotian's lower couplet matched exquisitely, maintaining perfect parallelism while concealing its sting, once again dressing Minister of Rites Wu Jing-shan in a torrent of abuse—Wu Jing-shan trembled with rage from head to toe, and had he not been striving to keep his refined official image, he would have burst out with vulgarities at that moment—I said, "You old bastard, what have I ever done to you? You keep harping on me, twisting and turning to call me a villain."

Xu Zhengying, sitting beside Hu Xiaotian, was now utterly convinced by this brat's learning, as everyone says that Hu Wu‑wei begot a foolish son—if Hu Xiaotian were truly foolish, there would hardly be any clever people left in the world. No wonder I once wanted to ally with him through marriage; my three daughters could have taken their pick from his family, yet Hu Wu‑wei remained unmoved. After all this effort, it turns out his son is a heaven‑gifted genius! 'Human words are trust; without the Minister of Rites, one is a villain!' How marvelous—truly marvelous to the utmost! Wu Jing‑shan, you old dog, dare to insult me? Hah, now the reckoning has come? Hu Xiaotian wasn't wrong—you old dog are just a villain!

After Hu Xiaotian finished his lower couplet, no one dared to pick up the thread and respond. What sort of person is he? He even dares to scold Minister of Rites Wu, and his audacity is over the top. By now, some curious individuals have inquired into Hu Xiaotian's identity and whispered it into Minister of Rites Wu Jing‑shan's ear. Wu Jing‑shan seethed inside—after all this trouble, this brat turns out to be the sole son of his arch‑enemy Hu Wu‑wei. Wasn't he supposed to be an idiot? Yet what he sees is a sharp‑tongued, crafty, malicious little villain. Knowing Hu Xiaotian's identity, Wu Jing‑shan instantly lost the will to continue sparring; Hu Wu‑wei's son, a junior, even if Wu Jing‑shan won, it would bring him no glory, and if he lost to him, he'd become a laughingstock of the world. As a matter of fact, he has already lost, and badly.

Wu Jing‑shan slowly rose to his feet; having spent most of his life in officialdom, he had seen all manner of storms and naturally knew when to stay and when to go. He cupped his hands to the crowd and said, "I still have pressing matters; farewell!" Having said that, he turned and left without looking back.