Chapter 266: You don't have even a trace of old feeling for me

Xia Xi was caught off guard; the spatula slipped from her hand and fell into the pot. She hurriedly picked it up, and her little finger accidentally touched the pot's edge, scalding her with a sharp pain. She bit her lower lip, making no sound.

Xu Yanfeng's attention was on her face, so he didn't notice this small accident.

Xia Xi quickly composed herself and said without changing expression: "It was a spur-of-the-moment decision. Are you asking what happened at home, where I got the money to go abroad? Zhou Du gave it to me; he has money."

Mentioning that person, the atmosphere suddenly grew heavy, and Xu Yanfeng fell silent.

To pull out a deeply embedded spike is bound to bring out flesh and blood.

Xia Xi changed the subject: "Are the shrimp peeled?"

Xu Yanfeng: "Right away."

After busy work for about an hour, Xia Xi cooked four dishes and one soup: garlic‑fragrant mushroom shrimp, pepper‑salt spare ribs, vinegar‑sautéed potato shreds, pan‑fried tofu, and loofah egg soup.

After bringing the dishes to the table, Xia Xi took off her apron and called the two children to eat: "Zi Heng, Youyou, go wash your hands; we're ready to eat."

After turning off the TV, the two kids ran to wash their hands. Youyou leaned over to look at the dishes on the table—all her favorites—and clapped happily: "Mom's cooking is the best in the world! Zi Heng, you agree, right?"

Zi Heng nodded in agreement.

"Then you'd better eat two bowls of rice." Xia Xi laughed and tapped the forehead of this little flatterer.

Youyou held up three fingers: "I'll eat three bowls of rice!"

Zi Heng: "Why don't you say you'll eat five bowls?"

Youyou: "I'll eat eight bowls."

Zi Heng: "……"

The atmosphere at the dinner table was warm and joyful, exactly what Xu Yanfeng had hoped for; but when he took a bite of the dish, he fell somewhat silent. Youyou wasn't exaggerating—Xia Xi's cooking truly was the best in the world.

Consequently, he couldn't help wondering how she managed abroad to take care of two children while excelling in her studies and making her career flourish.

Was Zhou Du also helping her?

At eight o'clock in the evening, Xia Xi went in turn to the two children's rooms to tuck them in, then sat by their bedsides chatting for a while.

Leaving Youyou's room, Xia Xi glanced toward the balcony.

Xu Yanfeng sat in the armchair; beside him on the transparent glass side table stood a bottle of red wine and a tall glass.

He was alone, pouring and drinking by himself; from his back view he seemed a little forlorn, as if his heart were heavy.

During the meal his mood was off; he hadn't spoken a word the whole time. Xia Xi looked back, her eyes dimming a bit—perhaps because mentioning Zhou Du had stirred up unpleasant memories.

He had asked so suddenly then that her mind went blank; she couldn't find a suitable excuse, so she just blamed Zhou Du.

She had forgotten that Zhou Du was a person he couldn't mention.

Xia Xi lowered her eyes; a sour feeling welled up inside her. She dug her nails into her fingertips, forcibly suppressing the emotion, and walked slowly toward the room.

"Xia Xi." Xu Yanfeng's voice low, he called her once: "Come here."

Given their current relationship, Xia Xi should have pretended not to hear him and gone straight back to her room, but her feet seemed not to obey; she turned and walked toward the balcony.

"What is it?" Xia Xi said in a flat tone, forcing herself not to look at him, her gaze drifting far out to the specks of light dotting the dark night sky.

"Sit down and speak."

Xia Xi felt a tightness in her chest, glanced at the other armchair, and sat down as instructed.

"I remember you used to not know how to cook." Xu Yanfeng lifted the tall glass, sipped the red wine, and his deep eyes roved over her face.

Xia Xi blinked, slightly bewildered—had he called her over just to say that?

The balcony was cooler than indoors; Xia Xi crossed her arms over her chest and, absent‑minded, said: "People can't stay the same forever."

Xu Yanfeng replied quickly: "So you've become ruthless."

Xia Xi pressed her lips together, unable to speak, and instinctively glanced at him. He took another sip; the glass was already empty, so he set it on the side table, picked up the bottle, and poured more wine.

Xia Xi suddenly noticed that only a little wine remained in the bottle; she couldn't tell whether he had originally taken just half a bottle or had finished a whole one in this short while.

His alcohol tolerance isn't great.

"You should drink less," Xia Xi advised kindly. "Auntie isn't here; if you get drunk, no one can move you. Do you have any work scheduled for tomorrow? Drinking too much will affect your job."

Tomorrow is Saturday, but he basically never has a day off.

Xu Yanfeng gulped a big mouthful of wine, feeling as if paste were being stirred in his brain; his dark eyes narrowed: "I'd like to ask you, how did you train your heart to become this hard? In this regard I'm not as good as you. It's been seven years—we've been apart for seven years now, longer than the time we were together. If time really could fade everything, why do I still remember what happened seven years ago so clearly? Is it just that time hasn't been long enough?"

He seemed to be talking to himself, not needing an answer.

A pang struck Xia Xi's heart; unconsciously she pinched her fingertip, the pad of her index finger turning red from the pressure. At first it hurt, then it went numb, and she felt nothing.

"Xu Yanfeng." Xia Xi lowered her head, speaking with difficulty: "You've had too much to drink."

She simply refused to answer his question directly.

"Really?"

As his words fell, a shadow seemed to wash over her; Xia Xi suddenly lifted her eyes and met Xu Yanfeng's fathomless black gaze.

He really had drunk too much; up close one could see his face flushed with an abnormal rosiness, his eyes less clear, somewhat dazed.

After holding her gaze on his eyes for a moment, Xia Xi turned her face away, pushed herself up from the armchair's armrest, and said: "You should go back to your room to rest early. The temperature has dropped; drinking then going out in the wind will give you a headache…"

Before she could utter the word "pain," Xu Yanfeng seized her shoulder; he lowered his lids, exhaled a hot breath, his voice already a little hoarse: "When we were together, were you sincere?"

She might have evaded the topic as before, or stayed silent, but Xu Yanfeng added: "You're not allowed to avoid this question—answer me."

Xia Xi's heart pounded rapidly, as if it wanted to leap out of her body.

No matter what, she could not deny that past relationship with him; even if she wanted to push him far away, she couldn't overturn the beautiful times they'd shared—doing so would be too hurtful.

That was the most precious memory of her life; how could she dare to tarnish it?

"Yes." Xia Xi's voice was very soft, but saying that word made her breathing quicken.

Xu Yanfeng moved his hand from her shoulder to support her slender neck, pulling her close and forcing her to meet his eyes: "Since it was sincere, and you bore my child, when you see me again, can you remain unmoved? Don't you have even a shred of old feeling for me?"

Xia Xi's eyelid twitched as if in a spasm.

"I…" she hesitated, not knowing what to say, her thoughts in a tangle: "What I think doesn't matter. Xu Yanfeng, let it go."

Xu Yanfeng gave a soft snort, stepping closer step by step: "Have you truly let go completely?"

Xia Xi was forced by him to the point she couldn't lie smoothly, nor could she tell the truth; she felt as if she were caught between ice and fire. She closed her eyes and shouted at him: "It's already like this! Is there any point in discussing these things? Do you still want to reconcile and go back to how we were?"

What if I say yes?

Xia Xi's breath stopped, only the wind remained in her ears, her gaze locked onto his face—did he even know what he was saying?

After a few seconds, Xia Xi seemed to understand something, and she gave a self‑mocking smile: "So you're drunk, just spouting drunken talk." Exactly, that's the only explanation.

"You don't believe me?" Xu Yanfeng pressed his thumb to her temple, "Why don't you believe me?"

Xia Xi looked at him, so close, and still asked why?

Her 'betrayal' of him was false, but the hurt she caused was real. He didn't know the full story; from his perspective, she was a shameless woman who slept with two men, and he could never forgive her.

Considering she bore him a child, he might at most let it go, but he could never possibly want to rekindle things with her.

Xia Xi exhaled slowly, truly not wanting to talk about the past with him anymore: "You can barely stand—go to sleep." She urged him, pulling his hand from her neck.

Xu Yanfeng turned his wrist, seized her hand, and pulled her into his embrace.

Xi Xi had no defense, she slammed hard into his chest; the next second she was tightly embraced, warm lips pressed to her neck, and the man's muffled, low voice rolled out with his breath: "Am I really so unworthy of your trust?"