Chapter 280: You have a get-out-of-jail-free card with me

Xia Xi didn't dare get too close, stopping at a place half a meter from the hospital bed, her lips pressed into a straight line. After a long while, she blinked and turned to look at Tang Yizhou.

"What did the doctor say?" Xia Xi forced her voice to stay steady, not trembling too badly, "How did he get into a car accident?"

Tang Yizhou rubbed the skin at the back of his neck, smoothly delivering the lines he had prepared: "I had arranged to meet Xu Er this afternoon to discuss something; he came by car to see me, passed a T-junction, when a vehicle on the side suddenly lost control and struck us. The impact happened to be in the rear seat, where Xu Er was sitting."

Xia Xi's throat tightened, and she stared at him blankly.

Based on his description, she could imagine the scene, which must have been serious.

"Also just bad luck." Tang Yizhou furrowed his brow and sighed, "But don't worry, Xu Er's car is sturdy; he only has a concussion, not that serious, he should wake up soon. However, the doctor advised he best stay in bed and rest for a while, not move around, otherwise he might get dizzy."

Xia Xi pressed her lips, her emotions not easing at all from his words: "Does he have any other injuries?"

"Just some superficial wounds, nothing to worry about."

To give them some private space, Tang Yizhou didn't linger long in the ward; after saying what he needed to, he pointed to the door: "Stay here, I have something else to do, so I'll leave first."

To avoid giving himself away, Tang Yizhou added: "Don't notify Xu Er's family yet; I'm afraid his mother can't take it."

Tang Yizhou left, and Xia Xi slowly turned her head to look at the person on the hospital bed.

The surroundings were too quiet; Xu Yanfeng lay there motionless, appearing as if he weren't breathing. Xia Xi paused for a few seconds, stepped forward, stared at his face, reached out her hand, but hesitated to let it fall.

As if touching him would shatter him.

Xia Xi's fingertip twitched, she pulled her hand back, fetched a chair and sat beside the bed to keep watch, her heart constantly suspended, her breath tight.

After an unknown amount of time, the person on the bed twitched his eyelids; Xia Xi noticed and immediately stood up, calling softly: "Xu Yanfeng."

Xu Yanfeng lifted his eyelids, a worried and helpless face meeting his gaze; she no longer hid her emotions, no longer wore a cold mask, her feelings for him so blatant.

How could he believe she no longer liked him?

If she didn't like him, how could she feel such heartache? She looked like she was about to cry.

Xia Xi leaned forward, anxiously asking: "How are you?"

"I'm fine." Xu Yanfeng said, then realized he was now a car-accident victim; his voice weakened, as if he had little strength: "Just a bit dizzy."

"Wait here, I'll go get the doctor to examine you."

Xia Xi straightened up, but before she could take a step, the hand hanging at her side was seized by Xu Yanfeng.

He emphasized: "Really, I'm fine."

Xia Xi: "What you say doesn't count; only if the doctor says it's fine is it truly fine."

Xu Yanfeng held her hand and wouldn't let go, his brows slightly furrowed, looking pitiable: "Don't leave."

Xia Xi felt uneasy, being tightly pulled by him, she couldn't get away, so she had to stay and keep him company.

Xu Yanfeng disliked lying down to talk, so he asked to sit up.

Xia Xi carefully raised the hospital bed, adjusted him to the most comfortable position, and said: "If the dizziness gets severe, remember to tell me; don't tough it out."

"Mm." Xu Yanfeng slightly pressed his lips, enjoying Xia Xi's care.

He felt she had become utterly soft, her voice so gentle it was like she was coaxing Zi Heng.

Xia Xi didn't know what Xu Yanfeng was thinking at that moment, and asked him: "Want some water?"

Xu Yanfeng shook his head, his gaze closely following her.

He again took her hand, asking her to sit beside the bed.

The ward was filled with a faint antiseptic smell, not pleasant, yet Xu Yanfeng felt warm. Through the window beside him, he could still see half the sky dyed red by the setting sun.

It was beautiful to the point of feeling unreal.

Xu Yanfeng kneaded Xia Xi's fingers; she felt a little unaccustomed, her eyelashes drooping as she stared at their intertwined hands, not struggling, letting him play with them. The atmosphere was quiet, inexplicably drifting toward intimacy.

Xia Xi wanted to say something to break the mood, but didn't know what to say.

As she hesitated, Xu Yanfeng spoke first: "Still can't tell?"

Without any prelude or extra explanation, just a puzzling question, Xia Xi didn't understand his meaning; she lifted her eyes, landing on his clear-cut face: "What are you supposed to see?"

Thinking about what he was about to say, Xu Yanfeng felt embarrassed himself.

He had never been someone who could speak his heartfelt thoughts; before, he always envied Xia Xi, who seemed innately gifted at loving people, able to express unreservedly what it felt like to like someone. He could not.

His fluttering, hesitation, sourness, possessiveness, and so on were all pressed deep in his heart.

Many times he had wanted to tell her that she was the first girl to make his heart flutter; besides her, no one else would let him experience the bittersweet yet addictive feeling of gaining and losing.

Even before he knew that the "betrayal" was false, he had already decided not to hold a grudge; as long as she was still willing to be with him, he could bury the past forever and start anew with her.

But each time those words reached his lips, he swallowed them back.

He couldn't bring himself to say them.

Since he had already decided to change, he would start by acting against his own nature.

After waiting a while without hearing Xu Yanfeng speak, Xia Xi felt odd, thinking he hadn't heard her, so she asked again: "I… what am I supposed to see?"

Xu Yanfeng looked at her, speaking slowly with sincerity: "You should be able to see that I have never forgotten you. Even when we just reunited and I treated you poorly, it was because I was competing with myself."

Xia Xi's breath stopped for two seconds; she hadn't expected him to suddenly lay bare his heart.

She thought that in the Beicheng hotel, when he embraced her and asked, "Are you considering taking back the green grass?" that was already a huge step for him.

Xia Xi's lips twitched slightly, she said nothing, drew a deep breath, and after a while spoke: "What are you competing with yourself over?"

Xu Yanfeng said: "You once treated me that way; rationally I should hate you, never see you again, or be even harsher and try every means to retaliate. But emotionally, I can't help caring about you."

Xia Xi lowered her eyes; she already felt deep guilt toward him, hearing these words her heart clenched in pain, as if she were back at the day they parted.

"I struggled for a long time, and finally decided…" Xu Yanfeng sighed, "to let myself go."

Xia Xi instinctively dug her nails into her palm, forgetting her hand was still held by Xu Yanfeng; her nails dug into the back of his hand, he gasped softly in pain, and only then did she realize, moving her fingertips away.

"So, even if I didn't know that you and Zhou Du were fake, I would probably still choose to forgive you." Xu Yanfeng took this opportunity to spill the words he had kept bottled up for a long time: "We haven't been together long, and I don't know if you secretly gave me some love potion; I always have no principles when it comes to you. You, in my eyes… seem to have a get-out-of-jail-free card. No matter what you do, I can't bring myself to cut ties."

Xia Xi abruptly pulled her hand back, and as she turned her head, tears welled up and spilled over.

"I'm going to the restroom." She found an excuse, stood up, and hurriedly left the ward.