Chapter 356

Xia Xi gripped the back of his shirt so hard her joints ached and her eyes stung; she wanted to tell him the same thing: What wrong have you done?

Clearly, the most innocent person is him, and the one who suffered the deepest harm is also him.

If their positions were reversed, and she had personally seen Xu Yanfeng lying in bed with another woman, she might not be able to do as he did—let go of the past and reunite without any grudge.

Just thinking about it made her feel awful.

Xu Yanfeng's palm rested on her cheek, he lowered his eyelashes to look at her eyes and said, "You haven't been crying, have you?" He wasn't saying this to make her cry.

Xia Xi pressed her forehead against his chest, buried her face, though she hadn't intended to cry, his question made the soreness in her eyes and nasal passages feel stronger; she sniffed, holding it back.

"Really crying?" Xu Yanfeng seemed to hear her sobbing, he cupped her face and lifted it, lowering his head so they were eye-level.

Xia Xi mumbled, "No."

Xu Yanfeng leaned in, kissed her eyelid lightly, then pulled away; his lips trembled slightly, and his voice carried a faint breath as he said, "Don't say sorry to me anymore."

He would feel terribly ashamed; she had done nothing wrong, she shouldn't apologize.

"You're so annoying." Xia Xi said with a heavier nasal tone than before, shoved him, covered her eyes with her palm, but still couldn't hold back; warm liquid welled from her eye sockets and smeared her fingers.

Xu Yanfeng felt a bit at a loss; he had made her cry after all, and tried to pry her hand away from her eyes, but she pressed it down firmly.

Before she turned twenty, she didn't know what tears were—no amount of beating could draw a drop—but as she grew older, she became fragile, tearing up at the slightest provocation.

Xu Yanfeng silently watched her cry, his heart feeling sore and swollen, uncomfortable; he wanted to comfort her but didn't know where to start.

"Xia Xi, if you keep crying your eyes will swell." Xu Yanfeng said, "Besides, I still have to go pick up Ziheng; my mom, sisters, and little sister will see us, and I'll have to explain that I didn't bully you."

Xia Xi burst into laughter through tears, a snot bubble nearly forming; she finally lowered her hand, but didn't want Xu Yanfeng to see, so she turned her face away.

"I know you're shy, but there's no need to avoid me too. We'll be together for a lifetime, and we'll face all kinds of embarrassment together." Xu Yanfeng turned her face toward him, pulled out a tissue, and handed it to her to wipe her tears.

The pretty makeup she'd applied before leaving was mostly ruined, her face looking like a stray cat's; Xu Yanfeng sincerely said, "Besides, you don't look embarrassed at all like this."

Xia Xi retorted, "I'm not shy."

She just felt that her crying was pathetic and embarrassing.

After a while, Xia Xi's mood eased a little; she pulled out makeup remover wipes from her bag and thoroughly cleaned off the remaining cosmetics, her voice still muffled: "How did you find out about this? And…" She wondered whether she should ask, hesitated, then lowered her voice: "How is Aunt?"

When Zhong Yinghong came out of the study, she seemed completely off; although she tried hard to conceal it, her red-rimmed eyes and shattered gaze could not be hidden.

Xu Yanfeng's gaze darkened; he gripped one of Xia Xi's hands tightly. Her palm soon grew a thin sheen of sweat, damp and sticky, but she didn't pull away.

"The conversation you and my father had in the study was recorded by my brother," Xu Yanfeng said.

"Recorded… recorded?"

Xia Xi froze for two seconds; an image flashed in her mind of Xu Junmo suddenly entering the study to bring her juice—at the time she hadn't thought much of it, assuming it was Zhong Yinghong's order, but now she sensed something odd; Xu Junmo must have been the one who recorded it then.

Recalling the content of her conversation with Xu Guanshan, she had an instant epiphany: anyone who heard it would be unable to keep anything hidden.

While Xia Xi was lost in thought, Xu Yanfeng spoke again: "Do you know why my father arranged things that way for you back then?"

Xia Xi murmured, "Could it not have been to make us break up completely, cutting off any chance of lingering ties?"

No man could bear to witness betrayal with his own eyes, let alone when they were still in love; the deeper the love, the stronger the hatred after betrayal, making reconciliation impossible thereafter.

Xu Yanfeng tugged at the corner of his mouth, smiling bitterly and sarcastically: "In this world, nobody understands children better than their parents; only those closest to them know exactly how to wound them most deeply."

Xia Xi froze, sensing there was more behind his words, her breathing unconsciously becoming lighter and slower.

Xu Yanfeng looked at her and, for the first time, told her about the time he had unintentionally witnessed Xu Guanshan's infidelity as a child. Over the years the image had remained etched in his mind; as he narrated, frame by frame grew clearer—Xu Guanshan's startled glance toward the door, the woman's bare arm, her coquettish voice… his stomach churned, and he felt nauseous.

"When I argued with my father and brought it up, my mother happened to be outside and overheard."

Xu Yanfeng lowered his head; the car's air-conditioning ran, blowing out cool air, yet his forehead hair was still damp with sweat.

Xia Xi remained silent for a long time, a chill rising in her chest; she lifted her hand to wipe Xu Yanfeng's sweat, her already-calmed emotions thrown into utter chaos as a flood of disordered memories surged into her mind—

That night they confirmed their relationship, he asked her, "Can you stay faithful to me forever?" She answered without hesitation, "I can."

The day their relationship broke, in the room, his gaze at her resembled the despair of a shattered conviction, far more intense than mere sorrow.

The memories faded, leaving her mind a blank white expanse, like a heavy snowfall.

She asked herself, "Xia Xi, what have you done?"

She was ignorant, she didn't understand; with her own hands she dragged the adult Xu Yanfeng back into the shadow of his childhood, shattering the trust in feelings he had painstakingly built.

She was crueler than she had imagined.

What's done is done; she couldn't excuse herself by saying "I didn't know."

Xia Xi pressed her forehead; the pain came belatedly but was unusually fierce, her language scrambled: "I… I'm sorry…"

Knowing she was about to say that, Xu Yanfeng kissed her, covering her lips so she couldn't speak; he had just told her not to say sorry to him anymore, but she obviously hadn't listened.

Before going to Su Jinru's house, Xia Xi bought an ice pop at a roadside supermarket to soothe her eyes; once she felt somewhat better, she unwrapped it and took a bite—icy cold, sliding down her throat, hardly easing her anger.

Xu Guanshan is truly ruthless.

She didn't know the details, but Xu Guanshan, as a father, knew everything and still chose to act that way.

The ice pop in her hand melted, a drop of water fell onto her leg; Xia Xi came to, pulled out a tissue to wipe it, her expression still somewhat dazed.

Xu Yanfeng saw her constantly zoning out, sighed silently, perhaps he shouldn't have told her; she seemed to be sinking deeper into self-blame. If Xu Guanshan had even half her empathy, the father‑son relationship wouldn't have deteriorated to this point.

"If you don't want it, don't eat it." At the red light, Xu Yanfeng glanced at her and ruffled her hair.

Xia Xi took another bite of the ice pop, chewed and swallowed, shook her head, and curled her lips: "I wish time could turn back." She had once wavered and struggled, but hadn't regretted the path she chose; now she wasn't so sure.

The light turned green; Xu Yanfeng drew his gaze back: "Don't talk nonsense. This is already good enough."

Having her and Ziheng, he felt quite content.

Back at Su Jinru's house, Xia Xi's mood remained gloomy, and she sensed this gloom would linger long, like a continuous drizzle making the whole world damp. Yet when facing family, she would control her expression and try to smile naturally.

Su Jinru noticed the bandage on Xu Yanfeng's forehead, her heart gave a jolt, and she began to speculate wildly, thinking Xia Xi's meeting with the parents hadn't gone smoothly, but she didn't feel comfortable asking outright.

"How did you get hurt?" Su Jinru probed indirectly.