Chapter 363: How do you plan to take responsibility for her?

"Xiao Xuan…" Chen Songbai walked into the room, having not slept since last night; he looks like a terminal patient, his face deathly pale, except for the half slapped by Xia Xi, which bears a red mark.

Xia Xi crossed her arms over her chest, leaned against the doorframe, and quietly watched the interior.

Chen Songbai knelt beside the bed; a sudden sharp pain shot through his knee. He looked down and saw a shard of glass, unknown where it came from, lodged in his knee. He was wearing light khaki trousers, and blood seeped through the fabric.

He wrapped the shard in a tissue and threw it into the nearby trash can.

Xia Yue did not leave; she remained seated beside the bed, supporting Xia Xuan, her gaze coldly fixed on Chen Songbai.

"Sorry, Xiao Xuan, I didn't mean to, and I don't know why I acted that way." Chen Songbai felt that Xia Xi's slap was still too light to atone for his guilt, "I don't want to divorce you; can't we stay together?"

He grabbed Xia Xuan's hand and sobbed without dignity: "You can do whatever you want to me, just don't leave me."

Xia Xuan's gaze was tranquil, like a dead pool; her eyes gradually lost focus, her thoughts drifted, and she returned to the time they first met.

It was early spring, the weather bright, white clouds drifting, the breeze gentle; the class had organized an outing to gather inspiration, arranged half a month in advance. The destination required a long mountain climb, but she couldn't do strenuous exercise; after climbing less than a third of the way, she reported to the teacher and asked to rest on the spot. The teacher knew her condition, which her parents had disclosed at the start of term, even providing relevant hospital documentation, so she didn't even participate in military training.

After confirming she was fine alone, the teacher led the other students onward. She rested on the slope for a long time, regained her strength, and slowly made her way down to the mountain's base, intending to wait for them there.

Everyone says going up is easy, coming down hard; she hadn't believed it until she experienced it herself. Not long after descending, she twisted her ankle because she couldn't stop, and she sat down on the roadside concrete ditch, clutching her ankle in pain, grimacing.

She pulled her phone from her bag, waved it around for a while, but there was no signal at all.

In despair, footsteps sounded behind her; she startled and froze. Two seconds later she slowly turned to see a tall, slim young man with delicate features, short-cropped hair, dressed in a black sports outfit with a white trim at the hem, a black backpack slung over his shoulder, his hand gripping the strap. Behind him stood two men and a woman, presumably his companions.

She didn't know him, but in this deserted place with no village or shop ahead or behind, besides the person before her, she didn't know whom else to ask for help. After a moment's thought, she explained her predicament.

That young man was Chen Songbai; he gently took hold of her arm and helped her up, asking whether her foot could still walk.

She touched her sprained foot lightly to the ground, tried to move a step, and a piercing pain shot up, bringing tears to her eyes; she shook her head and said she couldn't walk.

Chen Songbai's friends joked, "Out here in the wilderness, a pretty girl shows up injured—must be a spirit in disguise." Chen Songbai kicked his friend's leg, then tossed the pack over for him to hold.

He squatted before her, turned his head to look back at her: "Come on up, I'll carry you down the mountain."

She hesitated a little, after all he was a stranger. Chen Songbai thought she suspected him of ill intent, rose, walked to his friend's side, opened the backpack zipper, and pulled out his ID and student card to show her.

She examined it carefully; he was a student from the neighboring school.

Chen Songbai gave a humored chuckle; "You really suspect me of ulterior motives," he said, "There's no signal here, can't call for help, we can only go down the mountain. Or you could stay here while we go down to find people to carry you back up?"

"Going back and forth would waste a lot of time," she said, scratching her face embarrassedly, "Then I'll trouble you."

Chen Songbai squatted before her again; this time she didn't hesitate, leaned forward and draped herself over him, her arms around his neck. It was her first intimate contact with a member of the opposite sex; her heart raced, and she gradually forgot the pain in her ankle.

The mountain path was rugged; even with anti‑slip stone slabs laid, it wound back and forth.

Her breathing was shallow; in her view were the young man's flushed ears, sweat beads rolling down his facial contours. Her tissues were in her pack, inconvenient to reach, so she used her sleeve to wipe his sweat. He blinked, said nothing, and kept walking.

She felt a bit guilty, a bit embarrassed, but mostly moved, and whispered, "Are you tired?"

He said, "Not tired."

She thought he was lying, his head drenched in sweat yet he claimed not to be tired.

Later, Chen Songbai's friends could bear it no longer, winking and nudging, saying, "Classmate Chen, are you all right? Want me to take over?" After one spoke, the other two laughed.

Her face flushed instantly; Chen Songbai glanced sideways, glared at his friend, and made a "shut up" mouth shape.

The descent was made with Chen Songbai carrying her alone; at the mountain's base he set her down, out of breath, his phone finally got a signal, he called a car, and took her to the hospital.

Later, her foot healed; to show gratitude she invited Chen Songbai to a meal. Over time they grew closer. She fell for him, but considering her health she never dared confess her feelings, nor did she believe they could have a future; her secret crush was agonizing, more painful than the usual girl's secret love.

The day Chen Songbai confessed his feelings, she was overwhelmed, tears wouldn't stop; she was so happy yet couldn't accept him. Chen Songbai didn't give up, pursued her ardently; she constantly tried to evade him, and only when she could no longer avoid him did she reveal her condition. She looks no different from an ordinary person, but… she could die at any moment, as if a time‑bomb were strapped to her body.

She herself had grown accustomed to it, viewing life and death lightly, but those around her inevitably worried, and the closer they were, the deeper the impact.

She thought that after she explained the reason, Chen Songbai would leave, but he still wanted to be with him… he said they would be together for a lifetime, buried together after death, so she wouldn't be alone.

Recalling the past, Xia Xuan felt it wonderful, she truly wished to remain in the past forever. After her vision cleared, Chen Songbai's wretched, extreme appearance was so disjointed it bore no resemblance to the clean‑cut, bright‑smiled boy she remembered.

As time passes, whether it makes a person better or worse, no one can conclude.

"Xiao Xuan, I was wrong." Chen Songbai pleaded through tears, "Will you give me another chance, okay? We promised to stay together for life, never to part. I don't want, truly don't want… a divorce."

Xia Xuan looked at him, just looked at him, waiting for him to finish speaking, then she softly asked, "How do you plan to take responsibility for Miao Yijia?"

Chen Songbai stared, silent for a long time.

"Look, you haven't thought anything through, how can you demand I not leave you?" Xia Xuan said, "What do you want me to do? Between us there's always Miao Yijia; I can't pretend last night never happened, I can't pretend this person doesn't exist. If I could, I'd want to forget, but I can't."

Xia Xi watched from the side, seeing more clearly than anyone that Xia Xuan still had deep feelings for Chen Songbai. Asking her to divorce now would be like carving out her heart, but if they don't cut the knot swiftly, dragging it out is no different from death by a thousand cuts.

She pressed her brows, caught in a dilemma.

Xu Yanfeng lightly patted her shoulder; she turned her head to meet his gaze and gave a bitter smile. The situation is exactly this; I believe Xu Yanfeng, after hearing the two people's conversation inside, could piece together the general picture.

"Chen Songbai and his cousin?" Xu Yanfeng lowered his head, dropping his voice; he had just heard Xia Xuan mention the name Miao Yijia.

Xia Xi had to explain again: "That day you hit the nail on the head; you were right, they're not blood‑related."

"Looking at Chen Songbai like this, he doesn't seem—" Xu Yanfeng's voice trailed off; he wasn't trying to excuse Chen Songbai, just stating the facts.

"Do you think he no longer has feelings for Xuanxuan?"

"Pretty much."

"Rumor has it they got drunk, ended up in bed together, and Xuanxuan caught them in the act."

"……" Xu Yanfeng at a loss for words, "Did he himself admit it?"