Chapter 375: with translation of chapter title

The apartment was rented with Chen Songbai's help; he knew the address and drove there.

Before Chen Songbai arrived, Miao Yijia turned off the TV, scrambled up from the messy bed, stood before the full-length mirror to look at herself, a bit disheveled. She ruffled her hair, took a shower in the bathroom, and changed into a pale green spaghetti-strap dress.

Standing again before the full-length mirror, she seemed like a different person—youthful, energetic, beautiful.

Miao Yijia pondered whether to put on makeup, when something suddenly flashed in her mind; she dashed to the wardrobe, flung open the doors, picked out the most ordinary set of loungewear, and took off the eye-catching spaghetti-strap dress.

She had just gotten the point wrong.

She only wanted to show her good side in front of Chen Songbai, but not now.

Rather than winning Chen Songbai's favor, it was now more important to gain sympathy; the more disheveled she looked, the deeper his guilt. Conversely, if she appeared radiant before him, he would think she was fine.

Miao Yijia tousled her long hair, sat on the sofa, and waited while glancing at her phone.

When the doorbell rang, she jumped up delighted, then restrained her excitement, adjusted her expression in the mirror, and slowly walked to the door, first peeking through the peephole—sure enough, it was Chen Songbai.

His face gave no hint of joy or anger, and he wore a plain white T-shirt.

Miao Yijia took a deep breath and pulled the door open.

Chen Songbai lifted his eyelids, looking at the innocent, guileless face before him.

Miao Yijia's heart beat a little faster; she gripped the doorknob and stepped aside: 'Come in first.'

Chen Songbai didn't go in; if he could, he wouldn't want to see her again. Obviously, avoidance wouldn't solve the problem—it would only make it more complicated: 'My parents' side, that's what you said.'

Miao Yijia's expression went blank: 'I—I...'

She stammered 'I' for a while, unable to say what she meant.

'Why?' Chen Songbai stared at her panicked eyes, 'I know you've been wronged; I apologize to you. If you want any compensation, just say it—we can talk openly. Why do you want to harm me?'

'I didn't!' Miao Yijia exclaimed, eager to defend herself.

'What exactly do you want?' Chen Songbai, already exhausted, said, 'You tell me.'

Miao Yijia couldn't speak; she blinked, then burst into tears: 'After something like this happened, I feel utterly helpless and terrified, and you ignore me—I don't even dare tell my parents. That day I called my aunt and accidentally let something slip. Now you come at me with such aggression, I have to ask you—what do you want? Do you really need to drive me to death to be satisfied?'

Chen Songbai remained silent.

Miao Yijia cried harder: 'Why are you making it seem like I'm the one who messed up? Tell me what I did wrong. Can't you put yourself in my shoes and consider my feelings?'

Chen Songbai felt like he was sinking in a mire, the more he struggled the deeper he got—he could do nothing about his parents, nothing about Miao Yijia, and he didn't know what to do regarding Xia Xuan either.

He rubbed his hair and said wearily: 'This is the last time I'll ask you—what must I do for you to let me go?'

With tears streaking her face, Miao Yijia looked at him through a haze of moisture; Chen Songbai's gaze was blunt, regarding her as if she were a piece of gum stuck to his body that he couldn't peel off, or a rag he desperately wanted to shake off.

For Miao Yijia, this was unbearable.

The atmosphere grew heavy; Miao Yijia lifted a hand to wipe her tears: 'Let you go? Who's going to let me go? I also want to ask you—what can I do to make up for the harm you've caused me?'

They fell back into a dead-end loop; Chen Songbai found no exit, his chest felt heavy and oppressive, as if trapped in an oxygen-less glass bell.

Su Jinru was distracted while cooking dinner, almost cut her hand, and just then Xia Xi, who had come over to get a drink of water, saw her. Xia Xi pushed her aside and said, "Let me do it."

There is no separate entry for Jinru.

Xia Xi washed her hands, pressed one hand on the lotus root on the cutting board, held the knife with the other, and sliced the lotus root into pieces.

At that moment, Xia Xi's phone rang, and she said to Su Jinru, "Just leave it be; I'll slice it in a minute."

She picked up the phone she had left on the island counter; it was Xu Yanfeng calling. She answered quickly, and a warm, smooth male voice said, "Aunt Zhang said you came back and then went out again—did you go back to your mother's?"

"Mm." Xia Xi lightly pursed her lips, her fingers idly tracing a few lines on the tabletop.

Xu Yanfeng: "When are you coming back?"

Xia Xi let out a soft sigh: "Xuanxuan's mood isn't great; I want to stay and keep her company tonight instead of going back. Is that okay?"

"There's nothing wrong with that." Xu Yanfeng spoke slowly, "Is something the matter?"

A few days ago I heard that Xia Xuan's mood had stabilized, so why has it suddenly worsened again?

"Today, Chen Songbai's parents came over and caused a scene, saying many unpleasant things and pressuring Xuanxuan to divorce. Xuanxuan also agreed to the divorce."

"What did Chen Songbai say?"

"He? He's actually steadfast, unwilling to agree, but he can't persuade his parents either."

The two chatted for a while, and Xia Xi, out of the corner of her eye, saw Su Jinru chopping vegetables. Worried she might zone out and cut herself, she told Xu Yanfeng, hung up, washed her hands again, and took the knife from Su Jinru's hand.

Su Jinru gave her a faint smile: "I'm fine; you've been working all day and are tired enough—I'll handle the cooking."

"We're out of vinegar at home; call my sister and ask her to bring a bottle back—I want to have dressed cucumber." Xia Xi nudged her with her elbow.

Xia Yue took Youyou out to go shopping, and Su Jinru gave her a quick call, briefly conveyed the instructions, then put the phone down. Looking at the neatly arranged lotus slices on the cutting board, she sighed lowly: "Dragging this out isn't a solution; maybe we should just let them divorce. A short pain is better than a long one."

Xia Xi grabbed the lotus slices, put them in a bowl, filled it with water to soak, then took out the thawed spare ribs from the freezer bag.

"But the problem is that Xuanxuan still has feelings for Chen Songbai; she said she wants a divorce today, but she might regret it tomorrow," Xia Xi said.

No need to wait until tomorrow; when Chen Songbai said, "I'd rather die than divorce," Xuanxuan wavered.

"I know that, but we can't make her endure her parents' insults every time just because she likes Songbai—you heard today how harsh they speak. Xuanxuan is flesh from my own body; how could I bear to see her suffer?"

"I feel sorry for her too, but this is something she needs to work out herself; we can't make the decision for her or force her."

The sun set, the horizon darkened, dinner was served, and Xia Xi went to call Xia Xuan out to eat.

Through the door, Xia Xuan's voice was hoarse with a faint nasal tone, clearly showing she had cried: "You go ahead and eat; I'll have mine later."

Xia Xi plated a portion of the food.

After everyone had finished eating, Xia Xi carried that plate to the door and knocked. Xia Xuan had already calmed down somewhat, opened the door, lowered her eyes slightly, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and said, "Sorry for making you worry."

Xia Xi entered the room, closed the door, placed the tray on the table by the window, and said, "Don't say sorry—come eat; tonight's dishes are my cooking."

Xia Xuan first went to the bathroom to wash her face; looking in the mirror, her eyelids were red, beads of water clung to her face, giving her an unusually pale look. She wiped her face with a towel, went out, and sat at the table.

Xia Xi's cooking is excellent; sweet and sour spare ribs are a favorite of both of them, along with stir-fried lotus slices, spicy dry-fried green beans, braised eggplant, and a refreshing cucumber salad.

Xia Xuan ate bite after bite. Xia Xi didn't say anything, just stood by her side watching over her.

Although her mood had already stabilized, for some unknown reason she suddenly broke down, her tears falling into her bowl, mixing with the rice as she ate, making swallowing difficult.

Xia Xi saw this, placed her hand on Xia Xuan's back, and said, "If you can't eat, then don't."

Xia Xuan shook her head, feigning calm: 'I'm quite hungry; I can eat.'

Xia Xi poured her a cup of water, speaking gently: "Xuanxuan, I just talked with Mom, no one is forcing you to make a decision, you don't have to push yourself, you can choose a way that makes you feel at ease. Although we are your family, you have grown up, you are not a child, we will not demand what you should or shouldn't do."

Xia Xuan put down her chopsticks, turned and hugged Xia Xi, burying her face in her abdomen, sobbing: "I know, I know you treat me well, but no matter how I choose, I won't feel at ease."

If she continues to drag things out with Chen Songbai, she won't feel at ease; if she cuts it off completely with him, she also won't feel at ease.

Xia Xi stroked her head, from the crown to the tips of her hair, over and over.

"Sister, please persuade Chen Songbai for me; I want a divorce." After a long while, Xia Xuan said.

Since no choice will bring her ease, it's better to pick the lesser of two evils. If she continues to drag things out, such incidents will happen again in the future; she doesn't want to cause unrest in the family because of her own matters, scaring Youyou into hiding.