Chapter 164

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Protagonist:

Song Miao

Getting the go-ahead from the pissing man, another fellow with shifty eyes crowded over and chimed in: "Who says there isn't? I've been holding my piss in too!"

Speaking, he indeed crowded over, and also pissed a round into that clay jar.

Watched by a roomful of people, one couldn't tell if this man was excited or embarrassed; he gave a shiver, failed to aim properly at the mouth, splashed some urine stains, and inadvertently splashed it onto the person beside him who was steadying the jar.

The jar-steadying man wanted to let go, but it was already too late; both shoes and robe were drenched halfway with filthy water.

Pissed on half his body out of nowhere, this man naturally wouldn't stand for it, and immediately erupted in vicious curses.

The man who'd pissed crookedly had still felt somewhat ashamed, but now being cursed at, his anger flared up; he no longer cared about shame, and immediately started cursing back.

Seeing the kitchen in an uproar, the bystanders only then hurried forward to break up the fight.

One said: "Stop quarreling, stop quarreling, we're all our own people!"

The pissed-on man raged: "Who's his own people? Can't even aim a piss! That thing of yours is probably crooked by birth, right? Soft little goods! Don't you run to Yihong Lou anymore; either way you're useless!"

What man can stand being cursed like this?

The crooked-pisser flew into a rage, cursing back: "Laozi doesn't sleep with Yihong Lou's sisters; Laozi'll sleep with you, won't that do? However crooked, it can still make you scream! You lie down, Laozi's coming right now!"

Speaking, he flicked his sleeve and was about to step forward.

Taking this sentence, and seeing this move, truly no one could endure.

The pissed-on man, veins bulging with rage, suddenly clenched his fist and lunged forward, landing a punch square on the other man's face.

His move was explosive; bystanders were caught completely off guard. The other man had only flicked his sleeve as an empty posture, actually waiting for someone to intervene. Taking this punch, his mouth full of bloody iron taste, lips and teeth burning with pain, stars dancing before his eyes, he couldn't care about anything else, and hatefully cursed back: "You dare hit Laozi? Tiger doesn't show its might, you take me for a sick cat??"

Speaking, he also stepped forward and they grappled.

A roomful of people — who could have predicted things would develop like this? They scrambled forward to pull them apart, and persuaded them again with their lives, finally saying: "If you want to fight, go back and fight. Careful not to make a big scene, delay the business, and the Arrest Department blames us — are you going to apologize??"

Both men in sorry states, they cursed at each other a few more sentences, but in the end still quieted down.

Only then did the crowd hurriedly tidy up the scene, righting the overturned stools and chairs, ladles and pot lids and whatnot, casually putting things back in place, then turned to retrieve the clay jars.

When setting the jars, because those two were never clean types to begin with, and had spat phlegm in them too, the jars inevitably reeked of a thick, foul stench.

The pissing man also knew this smell was obvious, and hurriedly called the other man over; the two of them poured out the filth from inside the clay jars, casually rinsed them with a pass of water, then took turbid wine and poured a bowl into them.

The rest watched the two of them operate, each secretly laughing. When Dabing returned, they all pretended nothing had happened.

Even that pissing man took the initiative to step forward and reply: "The clay jars have all been washed, Liu Er, do you want to inspect them?"

Though Dabing heard the extreme disrespect in his address, knowing his own young age and shallow experience, he didn't want to stir trouble over such a trifle, and just said with a straight face: "Let me have a look!"

He did things meticulously, and indeed stepped forward to probe each one by hand; after checking one, he moved that checked jar to the side.

He had only probed a few of the large and small jars each, when the remaining several people saw the situation wasn't right, and exchanged glances with each other.

One of them stepped forward to interrupt: "Shifu Xiao Liu, this Song Xiaoniangzi said she wants us to peel lettuce stems; where are the lettuce stems? Why not bring them in first, we'll do the work while you inspect, don't waste time!"

Another asked: "How exactly do we peel these lettuce stems? Is it just peel the skin and that's it?"

Yet another said: "These compassionate hands of mine haven't even pinched an ant to death, never touched any knives or axes; this is my first time peeling, what if I do it badly — Liu Er, you won't go tell on us to Song Xiaoniangzi, will you?"

"Hurry it up! Any later and we'll have to go back!"

A group of people, grinning and joking.

Dabing had previously not been scolded less by the superiors in the Gong Chu, but this was the first time he alone faced so many people.

At this moment, being worked over by this group with both soft and hard tactics — some playing good cop, some bad cop — he was young after all, insufficiently experienced, and was more or less thrown off his rhythm. He hurriedly grabbed his small knife and peeler and led the way out, saying: "Come with me outside, I'll teach you how to peel!"

And taking advantage of the moment Dabing went out first, that pissing man inside hurriedly teamed up with the other man, and hurriedly moved that dirty jar into the pile of jars Dabing had just checked, sneering and sneaking as they followed out.

The two walked slowest; just as they reached outside, they heard someone shouting.

"Peel a skin and hack it up like this? Liu Er! Aren't you specifically targeting us??"

Dabing flared: "What targeting! Xiaoniangzi said the lettuce stem skin, once the coarse stems are removed, can be used to pickle sour — crisp and refreshing, not only delicious, but can also train your knife skills. Doing this bit of work, neither strenuous nor hard, where does targeting come in??"

And said: "You lot also don't say unpleasant things. I'll sit here and peel skins with you, and recite those Fifty-Two Rules one more time, how about that?"

"Those rules are too long, no use no matter how many times you say them, can't remember them!"

"Cooking a meal with so many stinking rules, verbose nonsense! What!"

Dabing just pretended he heard nothing, picked up a washed lettuce stem, and demonstrated to the crowd in the basin before him how to peel the skin.

Lettuce stems generally have two layers. The first layer is the outermost pure "skin"; make a cut, insert the knife into it, use your hand to assist pressing it down, and lightly lift the small knife — that skin tears off.

The second layer is the layer between the lettuce stem's green flesh and the pure skin, interspersed with many coarse stems; since they only get stuck in teeth, just peel them off directly at this point.

It sounds like only two steps — peel the first layer, then peel the second layer, and that's it.

But the first layer can't possibly be peeled clean in one go; it needs to be peeled piece by small piece, making it a time-consuming, meticulous task.

When the pissing man walked over, he happened to see Dabing's demonstration. First he went "Aiyo," then said: "Song Xiaoniangzi is too pitiful, isn't she? Could it be she never ate lettuce stems in her past life? Or is she really that poor? Not even letting go of a few pieces of lettuce stem skin? If it really won't do, you tell her to drink a cup of wine mouth-to-mouth with Brother me, and I'll give half a string of cash!"

For a moment, laughter rang out all around.

Dabing had received Song Miao's instructions not to quarrel with the crowd on equal terms; encountering unpleasant words or unsightly matters, not to spark conflict face-to-face, but to note it down and wait for her to return and file a complaint.

But in Dabing's heart, Song Miao's position was truly extraordinary. Seeing that pissing man speak such low, vulgar words to her, he simply couldn't bear it any longer. He gripped the small knife in his hand, stood up in anger, and shouted: "Watch your mouth! Joke about Song Xiaoniangzi again, and my knife skills aren't as good as hers, and I'm short and small, but a small knife I can still pick up. When the time comes I'll wave it wildly — wherever it lands counts!"

As he spoke, he looked toward the pissing man's crotch.

He himself was a man, and knew best what men fear. At this moment he brandished the knife, and combined with his truly short stature, when he waved his hand it was obvious one wave would slash an adult's crotch.

The pissing man saw Dabing's eyes fiercely staring at the space between his two legs, and truly felt a chill. In his heart he was extremely furious, dodged to the side, but in the end had to leave a ruthless parting shot. He coldly snorted: "Kid, you just wait! If you've got the guts, don't ever walk the night roads in this Weizhou City!"

But regardless, Dabing had vented his anger once, and finally everyone quieted down, each sitting on the drying yard peeling lettuce stem skins.

Very quickly, Dabing discovered something was off.

Although everyone was working, their speed was slow to the point of being simply outrageous.

Normally, an experienced hand could peel five or six lettuce stems in the time it takes to drink a teacup of tea without issue; even a novice, not to mention three, could definitely manage two.

Yet these people seemed to have agreed upon it, and after the time it takes to drink a teacup of tea, they couldn't even finish peeling one lettuce stem.

Not only that, but as they peeled, they removed both the thick stem's layer and the outer layer of lettuce skin, and it wasn't even shaped properly, but like small bamboo leaves, piece by piece, filling the entire basin.

Urge them a few words, and everyone starts complaining bitterly: this one says they don't know how to peel, that one says they can't wield a knife, others say they'll pick up the knife later to slowly peel the white thick stems of the lettuce, and some even throw down the words directly, saying: "I'll just do it like this; if you can't stand it, then simply don't hire me to do it, you do it all yourself!"

Not to mention that here the large cakes are all topped with buns, leaving a group of people helpless, while in the fangzi on the other side, Song Miao had already finished purchasing most of the items and returned to the fish stall.

The laundress stall owner saw Song Miao carrying a bamboo basket on her back and holding some items in her hand, and hurriedly said: "Young Lady, are these shrimp for eating at noon or in the afternoon?"

Song Miao replied that they were for eating in the afternoon.

The woman looked as if she had breathed a sigh of relief, saying: "Then let me deliver them to your door! It looks like there's half a bucket here, but after draining the water, it adds up to less than one catty."

She added: "My man still has to deliver a batch of freshly caught fish and shrimp at noon; in a while I'll gather more and bring a bucket to your door! I also have something I'd like to ask your advice on!"

Song Miao saw that she seemed to have something difficult to say, and it wasn't appropriate to ask in front of everyone, so she didn't refuse, agreed with the other party that they would definitely be delivered by a certain time, and then picked up the items and left.

When she returned to the Yi Guan Guan and entered the back, she heard a commotion; stepping forward to look, she saw that Da Bing and several kitchen servants were arguing until their faces were red with urgency, shouting: "I said wash them before peeling, but you peeled without washing—what are we going to do later?"

"Just wash them after peeling; if you can't stand it, you go wash them yourself?"

"Peel them and then wash them—the outside is all mud; wash them once and won't you dirty the lettuce flesh? Are you here to work, or here to cause trouble?"

"I don't like hearing you say that!"

"Exactly, haven't we been working? We washed the clay jars, peeled the lettuce skins, and carried what Song Xiaoniangzi ordered us to carry; we just have bad memories and no knife skills, so what can we do if we can't do it well?"

"Press us any tighter and I can't take it—ow, my heart is thumping—yellow-haired brat, you have a knife, don't you? Stab me right here in the chest; stab me dead and it'll be a fair trade for my life!"

It was that urchin boy again, starting to make a scene.

Da Bing had never seen such a scene; anxious and angry, for a moment he couldn't get a word in.

Song Miao saw he was at a disadvantage, but didn't let him go first; instead, she walked straight over and asked: "What are you all saying here? Have you finished reciting the rules? Have you washed the clay jars?"

The urchin boy saw Song Miao and giggled: "The jars are washed, the rules are all recited; Young Lady doesn't believe me? Come closer, let me give you a kiss first, and then I'll tell you!"

—But after leaving the kitchen, seeing that Song Miao had no knife in hand, he started causing trouble again.

Song Miao ignored him, but said: "Since they're washed clean and the rules are recited, let's start the inspection."

She didn't first inspect how well everyone had recited, but instead led a group of people back to the rear kitchen.

It was not yet time to cook lunch; the rear kitchen was empty, with only a dozen or so large clay jars placed in the middle.

Seeing Song Miao, Da Bing's heart, which had been up and down, finally settled back into his belly.

He entered the rear kitchen door and hurriedly pointed out to Song Miao which side he had inspected and which side he hadn't had time to inspect, adding: "I was really in a rush and couldn't finish checking, but the ones I did check didn't seem to have any problems."

Song Miao nodded; as soon as she entered the door and took a few steps, she couldn't help but frown.

She was a cook, with the keenest sense of smell; besides the scent of wine, she always felt she smelled a stench of urine that was hard to bear.

Having such a smell in the kitchen was both nauseating and nerve-wracking.

She stepped forward a few paces, following the smell to find it; first she found a spot on the ground—a small puddle of water; after a few more steps, she reached the edge of a clay jar.

After inspecting one after another with no problems, until she reached one of the large clay jars; as soon as she drew near, she smelled a wine scent much stronger than in the other jars.

But even such a strong wine scent couldn't suppress that fishy smell.

Song Miao noted the place, then inspected the remaining clay jars once more, before turning to ask the group of servants: "Are they truly washed clean, so clean that not a single flaw can be found?"

Everyone nodded.

Especially that urchin boy, who still interjected with a grinning face: "They were washed according to Song Xiaoniangzi's rules—first well water, scrubbed with cloth twice, then rinsed with well water three times; pour out the remaining water inside, and rinse the bottom of the jar with wine twice—washed this clean, I'd even dare to crawl in and lick it!"

Song Miao looked at him and asked: "What is your name?"

The urchin boy was stunned for a moment, then laughed: "What, Young Lady has taken a liking to me? This young master's surname is Gong; since I'm older than you, just call me Old Gong!"

Song Miao heard his surname was Gong, and pointed to a clay jar, asking: "Gong Liang, was this clay jar washed by you and Liu Yong?"

Gong Liang first nodded, then was stunned, asking: "How do you know?"

Song Miao said: "When the tasks were assigned, it was registered; Clay Jars Three and Four were both recorded under your two names."

Speaking, she pointed to a mark on the outside of the clay jar and called Gong and Liu forward, saying: "Look clearly—these two, correct?"

The two suddenly felt something was off, but could only nod.

Song Miao didn't give them time to react, but said: "Washed so clean, yet I won't have you crawl in to lick it..."

Speaking to Da Bing: "You call someone, and bring a bucket of water with you."

Well water was quickly brought back.

Song Miao ladled two bowls, pouring them into several large clay jars, then pointed at everyone, saying: "I told you all before, the most important thing in the kitchen is the word 'clean'; after coming in, you all signed official documents, promising to follow the rules."

"Since everything was done according to the rules and washed so clean, then pour out the water inside; whoever washed which jar, that person drinks the corresponding two bowls together—clean jars hold clean water; surely that's not difficult?"