Chapter 4: Suicide Professional

Meng Su opened his eyes slowly once again.

It was dim in front of him, and Meng Su felt a burst of joy in his heart: "This situation is about the same as hell; this time I must have died successfully."

By the time Meng Su fully adapted to the light in front of him, he was stunned.

He was sitting on a bed, a carved wooden bed. In front of the bed was an Eight Immortals table, on which a pair of large red candles were burning. Beside him, a woman in red clothes was shyly lowering her head.

Looking at himself, he was in red clothes with a large red flower on his chest. It was clearly a wedding night.

The panicked Meng Su first checked if he had recovered his male body. As soon as he checked, he opened his mouth and cursed.

"Old turtle, are you playing with your grandfather?"

This abrupt sound startled the bride, who lifted the red veil on her head herself, revealing a stunning face. Meng Su was stunned by that stunning face and graceful figure.

"If only I didn't have that... how beautiful would it be?"

The bride said anxiously: "Husband, what's wrong with you? You scared me to death."

Meng Su's second sentence almost scared the bride to death for real.

"Excuse me, what... is my name?"

"Shanbo, don't scare me. We went through thousands of hardships to finally be together. What's wrong with you, Shanbo?"

"Shanbo? Liang Shanbo? Are you... Zhu Yingtai? What kind of operation is this?"

The bride: "Yes, I am Zhu Yingtai! Have you forgotten me so quickly? What did that scoundrel Ma Wencai feed you?"

Meng Su: "Excuse me, wife, is there a river nearby? A deep one?"

The bride hugged Meng Su tightly.

"Husband, what do you want to do? Wake up! It's our wedding night, a moment of spring is worth a thousand gold! Let's consummate our marriage."

Meng Su almost cursed 'damn it' again, but said softly: "Wife, don't you think we should go out to admire the moon or enjoy the lake and mountain scenery instead of consummating the marriage?"

The bride touched Meng Su's forehead. "Husband, it's raining outside. Besides, today is the first day of the lunar month, where would the moonlight come from? If you want to enjoy the lake and mountain scenery, it has to be during the day."

0

"Darling, I want to pee, that's allowed, right?"

Meng Su, who fled the door in a sorry state, ran wildly and actually found a lake. It was a man-made small lake in the courtyard. He didn't know how deep it was, but Meng Su couldn't care less. He plunged headfirst into the lake water.

Liang Shanbo jumped into the river and committed suicide, leaving behind his beautiful bride.

Meng Su opened his eyes once again.

This time, there was no world, only boundless black. Meng Su felt happy in his heart; he had finally completed his suicide. Soon, Meng Su was desperate again.

That old man was standing right in front of him.

The old man: "I gave you a fairyland, you didn't want it. I gave you a bride, you didn't want her. What exactly do you want?"

"Turn me back into a man, since you have great supernatural powers. If that doesn't work, turning me into a pig is fine too," Meng Su said anxiously.

"No. Heaven-Chosen One, your life is determined by me, not by Heaven."

"Here we go again. Determined by your sister! I never offended you, why treat me like this?"

The old man didn't speak and waved his hand at Meng Su.

Meng Su opened his eyes again. As soon as he opened them, he found sword light dancing in front of him. He was sparring with a man holding a long sword. The opponent was a tall and majestic middle-aged man, his gray hair fluttering in the wind as the sword light rose and fell.

Looking at himself, he was holding an embroidery needle in his right hand and a green silk fan in his left. He was wearing an eye-catching large red robe.

Meng Su: "Stop, stop quickly, I need to rest for a while."

"Dongfang Bubai, what kind of trick are you playing again? Today you and I must decide who is better. Let's see if your Sunflower Manual is more powerful or my Nine Swords of Dugu."

Meng Su: "What? I am Dongfang Bubai? Then who are you?"

The gray-haired old man: "What are you playing dumb for? Haven't you been looking for me, Feng Qingyang? What's the matter, afraid to fight? If you're afraid to fight, that's fine too. You can immediately announce to the world that the Sunflower Manual is inferior to the Nine Swords of Dugu, and disband your Demon Sect followers, and hide in the world from now on."

Meng Su: "I'm not convinced. Why am I always... I want to fight you for three hundred rounds to raise the prestige of my Demon Sect!"

Feng Qingyang swung a streak of sword light diagonally against Meng Su's sword and stabbed at him.

Meng Su took a big step, his chest meeting the sword tip. Feng Qingyang was shocked to see Meng Su's chest rushing toward him. The Nine Swords of Dugu emphasized the real being false and the false being real. Feng Qingyang quickly turned the sword tip and stabbed at Meng Su's neck.

Meng Su, who had rushed onto the sword quickly, found that the sword in front of him was gone, and he felt a sense of admiration in his heart: "The Nine Swords of Dugu are indeed powerful. At such close range, he could actually dodge it."

Meng Su looked at the sword tip stabbing from an unexpected place on the side, straightened his neck, tilted his body, and met it.

Feng Qingyang was shocked: "The Sunflower Manual is indeed extraordinary, every step is beyond expectation. Brilliant, truly brilliant."

Thus, one person and one sword chased for about dozens of moves. Feng Qingyang couldn't dodge in time and stabbed Meng Su through the heart.

The pierced Meng Su struggled to give Feng Qingyang a thumbs up, spat out blood, and died.

Feng Qingyang looked blankly at the long sword in his hand and sighed: "Invincibility is so lonely."

Meng Su opened his eyes once again.

The first sentence Meng Su said after opening his eyes: "All officials, please rise."

After saying this, Meng Su was stunned.

Looking at the civil and military officials kneeling below, he shook his head hard: "Hmm... this... all officials, what year is it now?"

The civil and military officials below looked at each other and whispered: "What's wrong with His Majesty?"

Meng Su heard no movement below and suddenly saw the eunuch on the side.

Meng Su: "Brother, excuse me, what era is this, and who am I?"

The eunuch was so scared that he knelt down with a 'pfft': "Your Majesty, you're going to scare this old slave to death! Who would dare call out His Majesty's name?"

Meng Su saw that he couldn't get a clue and subconsciously touched his crotch. His crotch was still empty.

Meng Su: "Old turtle, you're even willing to give me an emperor role. For that damn Heaven-Chosen One, you're really going all out."

The restless Meng Su waved his hand at the people below: "Dismissed, I... I am tired and want to rest."

"Reporting to Your Majesty, Hua Fei is causing chaos in the harem, colluding with external relatives, and plotting against Your Majesty. How should she be dealt with?" an official below stood up and reported.

Meng Su: "There's such a good person? Quickly bring her... bring her to me to see."

Meng Su looked at the eunuch standing beside him and asked: "In your opinion, how should she be dealt with?"

The eunuch was scared to his knees again: "Reporting to Your Majesty, according to the experience of the previous dynasty, either grant her a white silk ribbon or a cup of poisoned wine. It's better to deal with it secretly, so as not to be publicized and damage the royal dignity."

Meng Su: "Let's go with the poisoned wine. I've tried hanging, it's no use."

Eunuch: "..."

Soon, Hua Fei was summoned to the main hall. Meng Su looked at the tearful Hua Fei and smiled: "How has my beloved consort been lately?"

Hua Fei looked at the wine cup on the tray in the eunuch's hand, knowing her end had come. Her eyes were filled with tears.

Meng Su: "Beloved consort, don't be sad. You were not wrong to pursue love; the one who is wrong is me."

Meng Su took the poisoned wine from the eunuch's tray and drank it in one gulp.

The civil and military officials were terrified as they watched Meng Su convulse and die.

The dying Meng Su: "No more tossing. Whoever it is next time, let it be. Without that thing, it seems it doesn't matter?" ===== CHAPTER 5 =====