[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"origin-my-life-as-a-literary-giant-in-russia":3,"chapter-my-life-as-a-literary-giant-in-russia-my-life-as-a-literary-giant-in-russia-chapter-69":6},{"origin":4,"title":5},"chinese","My Life as a Literary Giant in Russia",{"chapter":7,"nextChapterSlug":19,"prevChapterSlug":20,"totalChapters":21,"novelImage":22},{"id":8,"novel_id":9,"title":10,"slug":11,"index":12,"content":13,"wordcount":14,"created_at":15,"updated_at":15,"volume":16,"translator":17,"content_hash":18},2317244,4531,"Chapter 69: Epilepsy","my-life-as-a-literary-giant-in-russia-chapter-69",69,"\u003Cp>To be honest, on his way to meet Dostoevsky, Mikhail had been restraining his excitement and preparing himself mentally, yet he still worried he might seem too animated and confuse the young Dostoevsky.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>After all, Dostoevsky was indeed one of Mikhail’s favorite writers, and now that he had the chance to meet his idol in person, even if it was just a younger, pretentious version of Old Dostoevsky, Mikhail still found it hard to calm his emotions.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But now, seeing Old Dostoevsky before him even more agitated than himself, Mikhail dared not move a muscle.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Excessive excitement was truly not a good thing for Dostoevsky, whose nerves were exceptionally sensitive.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>If historical research was correct, Dostoevsky had suffered from epilepsy since early in life due to genetic and neurological abnormalities.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>He first had an episode around the age of eighteen when his father died, and by thirty-nine, he began meticulously recording the timing and condition of each seizure, until his death at fifty-nine—he documented a total of one hundred and two episodes, each accompanied by typical symptoms like loss of consciousness and convulsions.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Such frequent seizures made epilepsy almost a part of his life, and precisely in these ecstatic states, Old Dostoevsky often experienced brief yet intense “religious rapture,” which he described as “the ultimate happiness of harmony with the universe,” even willing to trade ten years of life for a few seconds of it.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>This experience frequently appeared in his works, such as Prince Myshkin in The Idiot and Kirillov in Demons.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>To be frank, Old Dostoevsky faced on one hand extreme cruelty of reality, and on the other extreme spiritual experiences; when layered together, it’s not hard to understand why his intellectual and political leanings took the form they did.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But in literature, whether something is “correct” may be one criterion of evaluation, yet it will never be the only one.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>After all, in terms of intellectual and political leanings alone, Old Dostoevsky was an old conservative, and Old Tolstoy spent half his life as a decadent nobleman and remained half a conservative in old age—but that didn’t prevent them from becoming two towering peaks in human literary history.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>One can only say that since humans are complex, literature must be complex; any attempt to “simplify” people or literature will ultimately distance itself further from both.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Now, Mikhail smiled and shook the hand of the thin, blond young man for a long time, only withdrawing it once the young man had gradually calmed down, then spoke with serious sincerity: “This is an extraordinary work, so much so that we’ve disturbed you at this hour.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“I never expected you’d say that.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Looking at the young man before him—nearly identical to his imagination—Young Dostoevsky finally regained his ability to speak: “No praise could please me more than yours! I almost suspect I’m dreaming.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Watching the sequence of reactions from this blond youth since his arrival, Mikhail finally realized he himself was now somewhat famous—otherwise, Old Dostoevsky wouldn’t have reacted so strongly.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Nekrasov and Grigoryevich, standing nearby, found this scene unremarkable, as if it were perfectly normal.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>When they finally got the chance to speak, they poured out their thoughts on the novel Poor Folk.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>As they talked, their voices naturally rose; the young Dostoevsky, infected by their passion, began exchanging his own ideas and opinions with them.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>They spoke of poetry, debated truth, and discussed the current political situation—yes, the situation had to be discussed.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>They also mentioned Gogol, citing The Government Inspector and Dead Souls, but the main topics remained Mikhail and Belinsky, with Mikhail’s works and his legendary rise to fame being the focus.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>When Belinsky was mentioned, Nekrasov couldn’t help revealing his admiration and affection for him, and declared with firm conviction: “I’ll take your novel to him tonight—you’ll see, he’s a remarkable man, and what a man! And I guarantee you, his attitude toward your work will be no less enthusiastic than toward Mikhail’s!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Throughout the entire conversation, Mikhail naturally joined in, though he spoke infrequently; to Dostoevsky, each of his remarks cut straight to the heart, instantly distinguishing him from the others.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>His speech was as concise and sharp as his novels!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Although the thin blond youth kept talking to Nekrasov and Grigoryevich, his eyes kept glancing toward Mikhail; Mikhail could only smile faintly at the young Old Dostoevsky with a peculiar feeling.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>By the way, though they were shouting so late at night, a dying camel is still bigger than a horse, and besides, Old Dostoevsky had his brother to rely on; even without a job, he lived better than Mikhail, so no one interrupted their conversation.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Mikhail: “.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Last time I asked you and Dmitri to hold back—I was the one in the wrong.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Though there was still much more they could discuss, time was what it was; after pouring out all their excitement, they gradually became aware of something and slowly fell silent.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>In the end, still slightly agitated, Nekrasov spoke: “Alright, now you sleep, rest. We’re leaving now. Come find us in a few days—I think we still have plenty to talk about.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Since the conversation had reached this point, though the blond youth was reluctant, even wishing this moment could last forever, he still nodded firmly: “I understand. I look forward to tomorrow.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Before leaving, Mikhail approached Old Dostoevsky again and smiled: “This meeting was rather rushed—I look forward to seeing you again at a gathering.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Hmm, probably at someone else’s gathering, cough cough.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>That’s what Mikhail thought, but upon hearing this, the young Old Dostoevsky couldn’t help but begin fantasizing.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Seeing Old Dostoevsky’s expression, Mikhail instantly understood.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Well then, should I suggest Belinsky rename our Hungry Writers’ Club to the Fantasy Writers’ Club?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>(End of Chapter)\u003C\u002Fp>",957,"2026-06-20T14:41:53.633Z",1,"Qwen3-Next 80B","ed28fa51403a0fe8e78d0efa1ca247a13ed87390bd6d70c3adec957bd9429dc3","my-life-as-a-literary-giant-in-russia-chapter-70","my-life-as-a-literary-giant-in-russia-chapter-68",105,"https:\u002F\u002Fnovelzhen.com\u002Fimages\u002Fcovers\u002Fmy-life-as-a-literary-giant-in-russia-cover.jpg"]