Chapter 79: Who Writes Diaries Like a Normal Person!

After listening to Turgenev brag at the café that day, even though Mikhail seemed about to get rich, seeing how grand Turgenev's tone was, Mikhail still urged Turgenev to pay for the coffee.

It was clear that Turgenev's pockets didn't seem to have many coins, but he didn't care at all, immediately waving his hand and saying:

"No problem! I'll pay for this."

This dashing manner made the young Dostoevsky envious once again.

Regarding this, Mikhail could only say that if Old Turgenev's mother hadn't died early, who knows where Old Turgenev would be, burdened by debt and suffering bitterly.

Although Old Turgenev's mother is gone, he did become stronger—pfft! What kind of hell joke is that; I need to knock on a wooden fish sometime.

After Old Turgenev paid, the group talked quite eagerly for a while longer, then each went home to do their own things.

Before parting, Mikhail also saw the anxiety in the young Dostoevsky, so he immediately patted his shoulder and said with a smile: "Fyodor, rest assured, don't worry about your novel; I promise you, it will shock half of St. Petersburg, and by then you will see many people talking about it."

Dostoevsky: "!"

We've only met a few times, yet he actually called me Fyodor.

It seems we are indeed no longer strangers.

While the young Dostoevsky was thrilled inside, he also heard Mikhail continue: "However, I hope you can stay clear-headed after becoming famous; you know, no one can be successful forever, and writers and artists often face more challenges and hardships, so whether in success or failure, it is best to maintain a peaceful state of mind."

Dostoevsky: "?"

But why do I feel like you have always been successful?

Facing Mikhail's very sincere words, Dostoevsky naturally nodded in agreement, but after parting, he couldn't help but look at Nekrasov, who was still accompanying him temporarily, and asked: "Nikolai, when Mikhail became famous in St. Petersburg back then, what was his reaction? Did he not show himself to be very happy and excited?"

"No."

After recalling carefully, Nekrasov gave his answer: "He didn't seem to think it was anything extraordinary; facing our enthusiastic praise, pursuit, and cheers, he remained quite calm from start to finish, even soothing Vissarion's overly excited nerves. I have never seen anyone more humble than him."

Oh right, he was quite excited when he received the manuscript fees, Nekrasov added in his heart.

Of course, Nekrasov didn't tell this to Dostoevsky.

And who knows if Mikhail was actually excited? Maybe he was just acting for others, joking around; Nekrasov thought this in his heart.

"Truly a person like a saint!"

Hearing Nekrasov's answer, Dostoevsky immediately shook his head in amazement, then secretly stored Mikhail's words deep in his heart.

Of course, he heard it, but as he subsequently heard about his novel from other people's mouths more and more often, and heard more and more people talking about himself, the young Dostoevsky inevitably became a bit arrogant.

Fortunately, he also heard about Mikhail's novels and poems many times, so the show-off Dostoevsky ultimately didn't show off too terribly.

And time passed in the blink of an eye; regarding the sales of the St. Petersburg Anthology, although after on-site investigation Mikhail found it was indeed selling very well, for the sake of caution, Mikhail still decided to wait a while to see the situation.

During this waiting time, because he had been fantasizing about possibly becoming a millionaire, Mikhail was somewhat restless; the things he had been doing were somewhat put aside, but when not doing those things, Mikhail didn't know what to do.

So, going back and forth, the bored and idle Mikhail tried to make a simple record of his life and the things happening around him.

Of course, it could also be considered practice; like Old Turgenev's A Sportsman's Sketches, which is a classic notebook-style novel, basically writing a diary while narrating personal experiences and expressing feelings.

What Mikhail was doing was basically this.

However, involving his personal life, Mikhail modified it somewhat:

"The 15th, Thursday. Another day of learning German; I feel that before long, I should be able to master this language. Keep working hard."

"The 16th, Friday. A day of gathering at Panayev's house; at this gathering, I discussed literature and art with Vissarion and others for a long time. I like listening to them talk about these things; sometimes, when hearing something particularly moving, how joyful my mood becomes."

"The 19th, Monday. Another day of hard study; I am devouring Hegel's philosophical books. Although some parts are a bit obscure, the moment I truly understand his thoughts, I still feel heartfelt joy."

"The 23rd, Friday. Still gathering at Panayev's house; I asked them about some philosophical questions. These respectable gentlemen have quite deep understanding of these philosophical questions; I exchanged ideas with them for a long time."

These are the things that can be written in the notebook, while those that cannot be written are roughly Mikhail's observations of Old Dostoevsky's changes during this period.

As the saying goes, gold will always shine, and like Old Dostoevsky, a pure gold in the literary circle, naturally cannot be easily buried.

As the St. Petersburg Anthology was released for some time, more and more readers paid attention to Old Dostoevsky's Poor Folk; there was praise and there was abuse, but within Belinsky's small circle, most people held very sincere praise for Dostoevsky's work.

It was almost like what Panayev later said in his memoirs:

"Every new phenomenon in literature, every new genius, fills me with unspeakable joy: I am happy about every achievement in literature; I have never felt a shred of jealousy."

Quite the opposite, my nature requires authority, requires the heroes Carlyle spoke of, requires worship—since there are no true heroes, I worship the small idols created by people close to me, whom I trust and respect."

The need for authority and heroes actually exists in every era, but for the current era, especially in Russia, this trend is even more prevalent.

Panayev and others certainly had no malice; they even went to great lengths to brag about Dostoevsky in various salons and gatherings, thereby making the young Dostoevsky's reputation spread further and louder.

Currently in the Cultural Circle of St. Petersburg, more and more people believe that the young Dostoevsky will be the next new star after Mikhail.

Old Dostoevsky's works indeed deserve such a reputation, but Old Dostoevsky himself is somewhat unable to bear such a reputation; on one hand, he feels inferior in upper-class gatherings, and on the other hand, he is proud of his literary talent, which leads him to sometimes be indeed arrogant and domineering.

At the same time, Old Dostoevsky is indeed becoming more and more immersed in this reputation, and has begun to accept invitations from others or actively participate in various salons and gatherings; however, this is also a common ailment of young people in Russia nowadays; Old Turgenev has this flaw too.

One can only say that at this age, a person's character is indeed basically set; as the reputation gets louder and louder, Old Dostoevsky indeed loves to show off more and more.

Fortunately, what made Mikhail feel somewhat gratified was that perhaps because his current reputation was somewhat greater than Old Dostoevsky's, and he displayed an unusually humble attitude, this made Old Dostoevsky, although starting to show off, not show off quite so fiercely.

Moreover, perhaps because Mikhail's successful gamble made Old Dostoevsky feel respect, anyway, Old Dostoevsky shows off as he shows off, but facing Mikhail's opinions and reminders, Old Dostoevsky did restrain himself somewhat.

How to put it, it's fine then; at least Old Dostoevsky probably won't get ostracized or something because he shows off too fiercely.

But then again, lately I always feel like Old Dostoevsky is observing me; what's going on?

Could it be that he wants to learn the attitude I have shown in this regard?

That would be very good.

Regarding Mikhail's thought and this doubt, perhaps the letter the young Dostoevsky just finished writing recently can answer it:

"To M. M. Dostoevsky,

I am writing to you in haste because my time is truly too little. You can hardly imagine what I have experienced during this time; everywhere is incredible respect, and curiosity about me is very strong.

I have met many people of status; Prince Odoevsky invited me to condescend to give advice, and Count Sollogub was extremely despondent. Panayev told him that there is a versatile writer who will trample everyone except Mikhail underfoot.

Count Sollogub asked everyone, ran to Kraevsky, and suddenly asked him: 'Who is this Dostoevsky? Where can I get Dostoevsky?' Kraevsky answered him that Dostoevsky is unwilling to honor your humble dwelling! This is indeed true.

Also, I want to tell you one more thing, brother; you simply do not know how many miracles are in that Mikhail; the deeper I understand him, the more I revere him.

And during this recent time, in order to learn something from him, I am observing what he actually does in his daily life and have made a simple record; I will tell you some of it simply here:

The 16th, Friday. Mikhail played cards with people at Panayev's house for half a day; by the end, no one was willing to play with him anymore!"

The twenty-third, Friday. Mikhail was still playing cards with others; this time he seemed to deliberately lose some money, and Vissarion was beside himself with excitement.

The twenty-fourth, Saturday. Mikhail was still playing cards! I suspect that at the next gathering he will be playing cards with others again.

Up until now, I have not seen anything special in it, but I believe I will discover it sooner or later. Perhaps playing cards is beneficial to the development of intelligence? I feel I should try it as well; recently I have been immersed in various honors and have had little time to play cards.

But at the next gathering, I might play seriously for a while.

(End of this chapter)