[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"origin-my-life-as-a-literary-giant-in-russia":3,"chapter-my-life-as-a-literary-giant-in-russia-my-life-as-a-literary-giant-in-russia-chapter-79":6},{"origin":4,"title":5},"chinese","My Life as a Literary Giant in Russia",{"chapter":7,"nextChapterSlug":19,"prevChapterSlug":20,"totalChapters":21,"novelImage":22},{"id":8,"novel_id":9,"title":10,"slug":11,"index":12,"content":13,"wordcount":14,"created_at":15,"updated_at":15,"volume":16,"translator":17,"content_hash":18},2317254,4531,"Chapter 79: Who the Hell Keeps a Diary!","my-life-as-a-literary-giant-in-russia-chapter-79",79,"\u003Cp>After listening to Turgenev brag at the café that day, despite Mikhail seeming on the verge of wealth, he still urged Turgenev to pay for their coffee, given how boastful Turgenev had been.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It was clear Turgenev’s pockets held little, yet he showed no concern and immediately waved his hand and said:\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“No problem! I’ll cover this.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>This effortless grace filled the young Dostoevsky with fresh envy.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Mikhail could only think: if only Turgenev’s mother hadn’t died so early, he might still be somewhere drowning in debt.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Though Turgenev’s mother was gone, he had indeed grown stronger—wait, what a hellish joke, I need to tap my wooden fish soon.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>After Turgenev paid, the group chatted warmly for a while before each returned home to attend to their own affairs.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Before parting, Mikhail noticed the young Dostoevsky’s anxiety and patted his shoulder with a smile: “Fyodor, don’t worry about your novel—I promise you, it will shake half of Saint Petersburg. You’ll see people talking about it everywhere.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Dostoevsky: “!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>We’ve only met a few times, and now he’s calling me Fyodor.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It seems we’re no longer strangers.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>As the young Dostoevsky felt his heart swell, Mikhail continued: “But I hope you stay grounded after you become famous. You know, no one can succeed forever. Writers and artists face more criticism and hardship than most—so whether you succeed or fail, keep a calm heart.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Dostoevsky: “?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But how is it that you’ve always seemed to succeed?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Hearing Mikhail’s sincere words, Dostoevsky naturally nodded in agreement—but after they parted, he couldn’t help turning to Nekrasov, who was still walking with him, and asking: “Nikolai, when Mikhail became famous in Saint Petersburg, how did he react? Didn’t he seem thrilled or excited?”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“No.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>After thoughtful reflection, Nekrasov replied: “He never thought it was anything extraordinary. Amid our enthusiastic praise, admiration, and cheers, he remained calm the whole time—even soothing Vesariyon’s overexcited nerves. I’ve never met anyone more humble.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Of course, he did get excited when he received his payment, Nekrasov added silently to himself.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But Nekrasov didn’t tell Dostoevsky that.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And who knows if Mikhail was truly excited? Maybe he was just putting on a show, Nekrasov thought to himself.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“What a saintly man!”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Upon hearing Nekrasov’s answer, Dostoevsky immediately shook his head in awe and quietly stored Mikhail’s words deep within his heart.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Of course, he listened—but as he began hearing his novel mentioned more and more often by others, as more and more people talked about him, the young Dostoevsky inevitably grew a little giddy.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Fortunately, he also heard Mikhail’s novels and poems mentioned frequently; the boastful Dostoevsky still didn’t go too far.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Days passed swiftly. Regarding the sales of “St. Petersburg Collection,” although Mikhail confirmed after on-site inspection that it was selling well, he still decided to wait a while longer for safety’s sake.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>During this waiting period, consumed by fantasies of becoming rich, Mikhail grew restless and neglected some of his usual tasks—but when not doing them, he didn’t know what else to do.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>So, bored and idle, he began making simple notes about his life and the events around him.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>It was also, in a way, practice—Turgenev’s “A Hunter’s Notes” was a classic notebook-style novel, essentially writing diary entries while recounting experiences and reflections.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Mikhail was doing almost exactly that.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But regarding his personal life, he slightly polished the details:\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Fifteenth, Thursday. Another day studying German. I feel I’ll master it soon—keep pushing.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Sixteenth, Friday. Day of the Panayev gathering. I spoke at length with Vesariyon and others about literature and art. I love listening to them—when they say something truly moving, my heart soars.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Nineteenth, Monday. Another day of hard study. I’m wrestling with Hegel’s philosophical texts. Though some parts are obscure, the moment I truly grasp his ideas, I feel genuine joy.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Twenty-third, Friday. Again at the Panayev gathering. I asked them several philosophical questions. These respectable gentlemen understood them deeply—I conversed with them at length.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>These were the things he could write in his notes. The rest—his observations of Dostoevsky’s recent changes—were left unsaid.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>As the saying goes, gold will always shine—and Dostoevsky, pure gold in the literary world, could never be easily buried.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>As “St. Petersburg Collection” circulated longer, more readers took notice of Dostoevsky’s “Poor Folk,” some praising, others cursing—but within Belinsky’s circle, most offered sincere admiration for the work.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Much like Panayev later wrote in his memoirs:\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“Every new phenomenon, every new genius in literature fills me with indescribable joy. I rejoice at every literary achievement, never feeling even a trace of envy.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“On the contrary, my nature craves authority, needs the heroes Carlyle speaks of, needs worship—since true heroes are absent, I worship the small idols created by those I trust and respect.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>The need for authority and heroes exists in every age—but in this era, especially in Russia, this trend was especially strong.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Panayev and the others meant no harm; they lavished Dostoevsky with praise at every salon and gathering, spreading his fame far and loud.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>In Saint Petersburg’s cultural circles, more and more now believed the young Dostoevsky would be the next star after Mikhail.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Dostoevsky’s work truly deserved such fame—but he himself struggled to bear it. He felt inferior at upper-class gatherings, yet proud of his literary talent—leading him at times to be arrogant.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Meanwhile, Dostoevsky increasingly immersed himself in this fame, accepting invitations—or seeking them out—to attend various salons and gatherings. But this was a common ailment among Russia’s youth; even Turgenev had it.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>One could only say: at this age, character is largely fixed. As his fame grew louder, Dostoevsky grew increasingly fond of showing off.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Fortunately, Mikhail felt a touch of relief: perhaps because his own fame was greater and he displayed extraordinary humility, Dostoevsky, though beginning to show off, never went too far.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>And perhaps because Mikhail’s bold gamble had earned Dostoevsky’s respect, Dostoevsky, despite his boasting, still softened his stance toward Mikhail’s advice and warnings.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Well, at least Dostoevsky wouldn’t show off so much that he got ostracized.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>But come to think of it, lately I’ve felt Dostoevsky watching me—why?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Is he trying to learn how I carry myself?\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>That’s good.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Perhaps the young Dostoevsky’s recently completed letter can answer Mikhail’s thoughts and doubts:\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>“To M. M. Dostoevsky\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I’m writing hastily, for my time is scarce. You cannot imagine what I’ve endured these past days—unbelievable respect everywhere, intense curiosity about me.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>I’ve met many influential people. Prince Odoevsky begged me to grace him with my counsel; Count Sollogub was utterly crestfallen. Panayev told him there was a gifted writer who would crush everyone except Mikhail.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Sollogub asked everyone, rushed to Krayevsky, and suddenly asked: ‘Who is this Dostoevsky? Where can I get Dostoevsky?’ Krayevsky replied: ‘Dostoevsky refuses to grace you with his presence!’ And indeed, that’s true.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Also, brother, I must tell you something else—you have no idea how many miracles lie in Mikhail. The more I learn of him, the more I revere him.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Lately, to learn from him, I’ve been observing his daily habits and keeping simple notes. Let me tell you a few:\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Sixteenth, Friday. Mikhail played cards at Panayev’s all day. By the end, no one would play with him anymore!\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Twenty-third, Friday. Mikhail played cards again. This time he deliberately lost some money—Vesariyon was beside himself.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Twenty-fourth, Saturday. Mikhail was still playing cards! I suspect he’ll play again at the next gathering.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>So far, I’ve seen nothing extraordinary—but I’m certain I’ll discover it eventually. Perhaps card-playing sharpens the mind? I should try it myself—I’ve been drowning in honors lately and rarely play cards.\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>Next gathering, I’ll play seriously.”\u003C\u002Fp>\n\u003Cp>(End of chapter)\u003C\u002Fp>",1272,"2026-06-20T14:41:53.633Z",1,"Qwen3-Next 80B","02e72c9a813242be6eb0baad9a0b54b928a1504bff52606bc5db12995f8806f4","my-life-as-a-literary-giant-in-russia-chapter-80","my-life-as-a-literary-giant-in-russia-chapter-78",105,"https:\u002F\u002Fnovelzhen.com\u002Fimages\u002Fcovers\u002Fmy-life-as-a-literary-giant-in-russia-cover.jpg"]