Chapter 1845

"In terms of techniques for gaining others' trust, people often make a mistake." Nick extended a finger and said: "Novices always like to do addition, thinking that the more they explain, the more trust they can gain."

"But in reality, there are not many people with empathy in this world. Everyone cannot and it is not beneficial to spend energy understanding the situation others are in. Usually, people's empathy is strongest when they meet a stranger for the first time."

"Out of vigilance and curiosity about unfamiliar people, the instinct of gregarious creatures will make them understand as much as possible what kind of person the other party is and judge how to get along with him. But after being slightly familiar, this instinct will no longer be activated."

"Therefore, there is a saying in the spy industry called the 'Golden Thirty Seconds,' which means that if you don't gain the other party's trust within thirty seconds of meeting an object for the first time, it is very difficult to gain the other party's complete trust again."

"Coulson does especially well in this regard." Seeing Natasha spoke up: "He was able to become a senior agent of S. H. I. E. L. D. without sufficient force value, relying on a special talent. He is a spy who doesn't look like a spy."

"He can be anyone: a neighbor taking out the trash, a policeman writing a ticket, a social worker pruning flowers and shrubs, or just a passerby walking a dog. When he greets strangers, almost no one will doubt him, but I can't."

Seeing Natasha shrugged and said: "The more proficient a spy is in confrontation, the more of a tension that is hard to ignore they have on them, just like the one responsible for keeping watch in a meerkat group. We are too sensitive to any movement, and it is difficult to have the relaxation of ordinary people, but Coulson can always remain relaxed."

"Back to the topic, lady." Nick pulled the slightly deviated topic back and continued: "In my opinion, Erik made such a mistake. He didn't lay a sufficiently good foundation when he first met Tony Stark."

"But it seems that at the beginning, the me from another universe trusted him very much." Stark said.

"Yes, but that was based on Erik being Tony's savior. In other words, he saved his life, but still couldn't gain deep-level trust. The performance within these golden thirty seconds can be said to be a complete failure, but he didn't realize this point."

Nick drank some more wine and grinned because of the spiciness. He turned his head to look at T'Challa. T'Challa smiled at him and said: "Wakandan specialty isn't bad, right?"

Nick also smiled and said: "It's too powerful, buddy. I hope it doesn't muddle my brain. I'll continue."

"Then let's take Shiler's performance when he first met Tony in this universe as a comparison." Nick continued to analyze: "What did Shiler do within the first thirty seconds of meeting Tony?"

"They said a few words." Stark recalled and said: "Probably introducing themselves to each other?"

Nick shook his head and pointed out: "Shiler helped Tony take off the hood. The first thing he did was to have physical contact with the other party."

"In the vast majority of cases, gentle physical contact is conducive to gaining the other party's trust—patting the shoulder, patting the arm, or touching the elbow, especially when the other party feels panic. This can well soothe others' emotions."

"Immediately afterward, Shiler called out Stark's name. This was telling Stark, 'I've heard of you, you are very famous,' which is essentially a gesture of acceptance."

"The group of people who kidnapped Tony didn't treat him as a human at all. They were too rough and had a sense of alienation from civilized society. But Shiler's act of recognizing Stark pulled Tony back to the communication style of civilized society. This is the communication style Tony is accustomed to and likes, which can further soothe him."

"Immediately afterward, he showed Stark the most distinctive part of his appearance, which was clearly those gray eyes. This was helping Tony construct his image in his heart."

"The fastest way to let others remember you is to symbolize yourself—red hair, a bulbous nose, big feet are all sufficiently significant features. This is the foundation for establishing a three-dimensional image."

"And the most wonderful part comes." Nick drank another mouthful of wine, then raised his tone and said: "Tony instinctively began to question, suspecting that Shiler was sent by the kidnappers to supervise him, but what did Shiler do?"

"He didn't express his goodwill. He clearly stated that he and the kidnappers were in a cooperative relationship to some extent."

"How is this going on?" Eddie frowned and asked: "Wouldn't this make Tony alert?"

Nick shook his head and said: "Still that sentence, the most stable relationship between people is the interest relationship. Shiler's move was emphasizing to Tony that 'we are grasshoppers on the same rope'."

"He said he was a doctor, here to treat Tony's illness. If Tony got better, he would be better. If Tony died, he might have trouble. This immediately placed the two of them on the same front."

"You can't expect a person to have emotional resonance with you the first time they see you. Common interests are often a necessary condition for establishing an initial relationship. Only when interests are bound together is there a possibility of in-depth understanding."

"Of course, Erik did achieve this point." Nick shrugged lightly and said: "He drove away with Stark after saving him. At that time, their life and death were bound together—either run away together or be blown up together. This was actually a good start, but he did one thing wrong."

"What was that?" Thor also asked with some curiosity.

"He actually let Tony call Pepper." Nick spread his hands, looking helpless, and said: "This is what I said about him being a complete layman, relying only on talent and instinct, and never having learned theoretical knowledge."

"When you start to have entanglements with a person because of common interests, the initial period is very important if you want to work harmoniously with the other party for a long time. And the first step to do is to create a closed environment as much as possible."

"It doesn't mean creating a space with only the two of you, but as much as possible to let the other party put more attention on you, constantly involving his energy, letting him understand you more, whether out of curiosity or inadvertently."

"Sounds a bit like bird courtship." Eddie rested his elbows on the sofa armrest and said: "Spreading bright feathers, attracting the other party's attention, letting them be unable to move their eyes, so as to understand more of your advantages."

"I insist that humans are still a member of the animal kingdom, and human psychology and animal psychology have their own commonalities." Nick nodded.

"Erik let Stark pour all his emotions onto Pepper on the other end of the phone. He felt he could express his empathy. Perhaps he might also think that the relationship between Stark and Pepper was love, and had nothing to do with the friendship he wanted to establish."

"But in fact, human emotions are always exclusive. The emotions that can be projected onto others within a certain period of time are limited. If he treats others as an outlet for his emotional release, no matter what, you can only get less."

"So what Erik should have done was to let the other party project all his emotions onto him at the first moment of establishing common interests, because only in this way can the other party be more willing to understand him deeply, and can he leave a more profound and three-dimensional impression in the other party's heart. Otherwise, it's just a chance encounter, a passing passenger, and what is the difference from a drinking buddy?"

Stark felt it made a lot of sense, so he nodded, but soon he reacted: "Wait, Shiler wouldn't have been dealing with us like this all along, right?"

"In principle, it is like this." Nick shrugged: "But like the difference between an apprentice and a master, Shiler doesn't do it very deliberately, so it's not easy to be discovered."

Stark frowned deeply. He recalled every move Shiler made in the cave, but didn't grasp the key point. And at this time, Seeing Natasha spoke up: "The natural part is that he will make you feel that it is your own curiosity that is generated, and you have to pursue his past."

The female spy tucked her hair behind her ears and said: "First, use an unreasonable fact to arouse the other party's interest. For example, Shiler said to Tony in this universe at the beginning, 'I don't run away because I fled here myself.' Humans are interested in all kinds of unreasonable facts, regardless of whether there is danger hidden behind them."

"Then say another fact that makes the other party feel shocked. For example, Shiler told Tony that he had a surgical license. This can't be said to be unreasonable, just a bit surprising in this environment."

"This completely triggered Tony's curiosity." Seeing Natasha extended the five fingers of one hand, spread them out, then tightened them and said: "After the impact of these two facts, anyone will start to think: Why would an American doctor with a legal surgical license flee to a cave in Afghanistan?"

"So Tony asked, and Shiler threw out his next trap." Nick chuckled and said: "Shiler told Tony a secret."

"Sharing secrets is a necessary part of establishing a stable relationship. The more important the secret, the more it will make people feel that the other party trusts you more. And the life experience Shiler told Tony was obviously a quite important secret. After all, it involved the FBI, the CIA, the military, and a series of big shots."

Seeing Natasha pursed her lips and continued: "And at that time, it was too late even if you didn't want to listen. You asked it yourself. He had already said half of it. Even if this might bring you the risk of trouble, if you interrupt him now, you have both taken the risk and haven't heard the secret. Wouldn't that be a complete loss?"

Nick laughed in a low voice, obviously thinking of something, but after being glared at by Seeing Natasha, he restrained his smile and continued: "Of course, the trump card that is easier to gain trust than sharing secrets is to actively expose your own small shortcomings, or disguise them as advantages."

"For example, you can say to others that you are a bit careless, but actually you are saying you are generous. You can say to the other party that you are sometimes too quiet, actually saying you are good at listening. You can say you are pedantic, actually saying your literary literacy is not bad."

"The specific way of expression can be: First, say your shortcomings, but say it was influenced by others, and then start praising the advantages of that person in this regard."

"For example, 'I am always a bit careless. Maybe it's inherited from my parents. You know, my father was a quite bold Texan who taught me since I was a child not to be too calculating about things and to be loyal when getting along with friends'."

"Second, say this is an evaluation others give you, but show the advantages in this direction in your conversation."

"For example, 'My friends always say I am sometimes too quiet. Actually, I was fascinated by listening to them talk. They are all quite good people. I still remember when they said to me at that time...'"

"Third, say this is a lingering habit brought to you by some noble or highly professional work."

"For example, 'Sorry, I am a bit concerned about the word you just said... I am a bit pedantic and care more about grammatical rigor. This is a habit I left behind when I worked as a text proofreader at a newspaper office before. I'm really sorry'."

"Of course, these are entry-level techniques." Nick revealed a mysterious smile and said: "The best trump card, of course, is the move Shiler used."