Chapter 99: A Little Expert at Getting Rich

Natasha rushed into the psychological clinic. While speaking rapidly on the phone, she said to Schiller, "Give me 30 reports... no, no, make it 50, 50 reports of psychological diagnostic certificates."

Schiller was writing something at the bar counter. He didn't even lift his head, just rolled his eyes and said, "What symptoms do you need?"

"Post-traumatic stress disorder, or whatever it's called? I forgot, anyway, it's that illness you get after fighting a war. I need 50."

"Museum of Monster Suppression"

"Handwriting is too slow, I can only generate electronic reports. What about the personnel list?"

Natasha picked up another phone in her hand and said, "Send the personnel list to my phone right now. Forget it, I'll give you an address directly, you fax it over..."

On the other side, Peter walked out holding a stack of papers and said, "Doctor, I don't quite understand this reimbursement application form. Not to mention that the monster didn't even reach us, even if it had, reporting the loss of dishwashing sponges seems a bit..."

On the other side, Dr. Connors was also on the phone. He said, "Yes, the R&D cost for that healing serum is very expensive because... because the materials are expensive. Just tell them that, they don't understand anyway."

"It uses at least dozens of rare elements. Which ones? Look it up in the periodic table yourself, whichever is expensive, those are the ones..."

Stark handed a piece of paper to Natasha and said, "This is the electricity usage report for Stark Tower. Connors and Peter conducted experiments in my high-end laboratory for 1 hour and 43 minutes. The average electricity cost per minute, in US dollars, plus the wear and tear on the instruments. Oh, right, because Peter used too much force, a piece of equipment worth over a million dollars was scrapped. It's all counted in the losses..."

Natasha took the paper. She didn't even look at it and picked up another phone, saying, "Statistics on casualties? How many do you think is appropriate? We've had 32 field agents stay in New York recently, why don't we just count them all as KIA? Calculate the pension at 500,000 USD per person..."

"What? You want to be even bolder? Then how many agents are there on the entire East Coast? Nationwide? Wouldn't that be a bit too exaggerated? A single monster causing all our agents nationwide to be KIA once, wouldn't that make us look too useless?"

Afterwards, she put down the phone and asked Peter, "Do you have any of that serum left?"

"There are two doses left, but if you need them, we can make some more."

"Nick wants more. You know, since the military created such a dangerous monster, it's reasonable for them to purchase more of this serum to prevent future trouble, right?"

"How many does he want?" Dr. Connors asked.

Natasha spoke to the other end of the phone again, then said, "Can you do 200 doses?"

Peter spat out a mouthful of water and said, "That serum was modified from lizard serum. There were only 7 doses in total, and Dr. Connors spent months..."

"Nick is selling them to them for 3 million a dose."

Connors immediately put on his coat and said, "Let's go, Peter."

Then he turned to Natasha and said, "Wait for us. In two days at most, 200 doses will be in your hands."

When Peter was dragged away, Schiller took the reimbursement form from his hand and said, "Peter is still too naive. 4 dishwashing sponges? How long can those last? Let's start with 4,000."

Pikachu jumped onto the table with a 'whoosh' and said, "Help me add two jars of peanut butter. Oh, no, make it 2,000 jars of peanut butter. That monster was too terrifying, my peanut butter losses were devastating!"

Schiller scribbled and said, "Alright, that's about it. By the way, how many points did you say I could take?"

"You get 20% from each report, and 30% from this reimbursement application."

"Wait, are 50 reports enough? I think the battle was really too intense this time. S. H. I. E. L. D. agents went through life and death, they should have left behind quite a few sequelae. Let's start with 300. If they are all handwritten and signed, give me another 10%, how about that?"

Steve stood in the center of the room with his arms crossed and said, "I know the world has changed, I know I'm old, but it shouldn't have changed this much, right?"

"Didn't we take care of that monster in a few moves? 4,000 dishwashing sponges, did he smash the back kitchens of every restaurant in New York?"

Listening to the ridiculously high casualty numbers in Natasha's mouth, Steve said, "I know Nick is trying to secure more funding, but the military people aren't stupid. Can't they see how much loss there really is?"

"That's not important, Captain." Natasha waved her hand and said, "We are the victims. Whatever the victims say, that's how much it is."

Before Steve could refute, Coulson rushed in. He took a pen and paper, dragged Steve to the sofa, and began to interview him.

"What is this for? Why interview me?"

"This way you won't have to write a combat report, Captain Steve."

"Alright then..."

"How was the process of defeating this monster? Was it smooth?"

"Ah, although there were some twists and turns, overall it was quite smooth."

"Can you elaborate on the twists and turns?"

"This monster's strength was a bit high. At the beginning of the battle, shield attacks couldn't produce good results, so I immediately changed tactics..."

Coulson wrote on the paper: "The Red Iguana is immensely powerful, far exceeding the range Captain America could estimate. His shield strikes against the monster had no effect. The early stages of the battle were extremely arduous, almost a desperate struggle for survival."

"Of course, it was okay later. Although he was strong, he didn't have much of a brain and seemed very irritable. Such an opponent was still manageable..."

Coulson wrote on the paper again: "The Red Iguana is incredibly irritable, and the power of its rage makes it even stronger. The Captain was almost retreating step by step, and the monster always held the upper hand."

"Of course, I have to admit that little Stark's armor explosion played some role..."

Coulson continued to write like a whirlwind: "Iron Man used his armor, which cost tens of thousands of dollars, to conduct a heroic, completely unrecoverable self-detonation, finally forcing the monster to retreat two steps. According to Captain America's account, it took at least 20 waves of explosions, with 5 armors surrounding and detonating in each wave, to finally make that monster collapse."

After Steve finished speaking, he stared at Coulson and said, "Can I see it?"

Coulson quickly put away the notebook, then stood up and shook Steve's hand with utmost sincerity: "Captain, you are a combat hero! You always have been!"

On the other side, Schiller put down the phone and said, "Thank me. There is still a spot at the Presbyterian Hospital. Who do you want to send there?"

"Who do you think is most likely to be injured?"

"Then let it be Stark. After all, he operated the armor to self-detonate, so it's normal for him to be scratched by shrapnel. I'll call the dean later and have him organize a specialist consultation. I'll send you the reimbursement form for the consultation fee later. As for the hospitalization expenses..."

Natasha said, "The usual rules: top-tier ward, top-tier nursing. By the way, do you know any brilliant doctors? Have him accompany the patient throughout the process, we'll pay his consultation fee by the hour."

"Coincidentally, I know a quite excellent neurosurgeon. Of course, he has only one drawback, which is that his fees are quite expensive. Oh, no, that should be an advantage now..."

In the evening, Coulson came in, with Natasha and two other agents following behind him. They were holding a large stack of reports.

Schiller rubbed his hands and said, "Let me see, this should be our harvest for today, right? How is it on Nick's side?"

"Director Nick scolded everyone present. Those generals couldn't even find a chance to interject. He scolded the military from top to bottom, from their unauthorized misappropriation of military funds to develop dangerous biological weapons, to disregarding safety protocols and expanding their arsenal privately."

"He scolded for at least six hours, and not a single word was repeated. The walls of the Congressional conference room are almost carved with his voice..."

"Didn't the military talk back?"

Natasha put one hand on the documents and the other on her hip, saying, "Why do you think Nick and General Luo Bote don't get along? It's because usually only General Luo Bote could talk back, but now he's dead. The rest of those people are wooden stakes from military academies, so they can only take the scolding."

Coulson shook his head and said, "The military people have really lost face this time. The monster they created privately caused such a big commotion, Congress can't just sit idly by. The Director took this opportunity to bite off another piece of meat."

"That missing alien biological test subject also gave him a good excuse. Nick insisted that it was the military that stole the test subject from S. H. I. E. L. D. In fact, the congressmen were also suspicious of this. After all, S. H. I. E. L. D.'s item had just gone missing, and the military created a monster. These two things seem related no matter how you look at them."

"Then won't they question S. H. I. E. L. D.'s security measures?"

"Security measures? When did S. H. I. E. L. D. ever have those?"

"That's just an excuse, right?" Schiller asked. "That symbiote didn't actually run away from your place... wait, did it?"

Natasha shrugged and said, "Nobody knows that. All the personnel of the Dangerous Biological Containment Division sacrificed themselves collectively last December, and when funding was tight this March, they sacrificed themselves again."

Fine, Schiller thought, where Venom came from is no longer important. He is now looking forward to seeing what Venom, having had Stark as a host, will eventually develop into.

After a while, Nick's voice sounded on the walkie-talkie again: "No, the accounts still don't balance. You guys think of a way now, get some more."

Natasha and Coulson complained together. They had thought of every method they could, even coming up with outrageous reasons like how many mice died on the street and spending money to prevent the plague.

Schiller rolled up his sleeves and said, "I have a good idea, at least it can balance your accounts for a year."

Natasha and Coulson both looked at him. Natasha said, "You might not understand, Doctor..."

"Actually, I think you can find a way to approve me for a legal nursing home qualification, and then regularly send a batch of agents who have gone crazy due to work pressure to recuperate."

"Recuperation always requires beds and medication. Of course, since S. H. I. E. L. D. agents serve the country so diligently, the standards for wards and beds must not be low, and the medication must be the best."

"A psychological nursing home is different from a regular hospital. We aim to help patients achieve a relaxed and peaceful state of mind. At the very least, there must be a spa, a gym, and a yoga and meditation lounge."

"Of course, this is just the basics. To achieve better treatment results, there must also be a horse farm, a livestock garden, a golf course..."

"Of course, having these facilities is not enough. Many exercises must be conducted under the guidance of professionals, such as yoga masters from India, meditation masters from Mount Ximalaya, world equestrian champions, zoologists, naturalists, race car drivers, and so on."

"I know, I know, the cost might be a bit high, but agents have shed blood and sweat for the country, this is what they deserve."

"Of course, the location shouldn't be too far away. I think the New York urban area is quite good. Although such a large piece of land is indeed expensive, it's convenient."

"Of course, considering that New York is not very peaceful, the building standards must be earthquake-resistant to level 10 or above. The building cannot be designed by ordinary people; it must be a world-class architectural master. The engineering team cannot be sloppy either. What was the name of that largest construction company in the US? I think their building quality should be good."

"The ribbon-cutting ceremony after completion is also indispensable. If some lord on Capitol Hill is willing to loosen his grip, we can also invite the media to let him show his face."

"We are very happy to accept visits and speeches from all parties here. You know, these are all real warriors who have dedicated themselves to the country. If they want to gain their support, donations can't be lacking, right?"

"Of course, if they donate a lot, we can also give them an honorary dean position. You know, I don't mind..."

After Schiller finished speaking, Nick Fury's roar came from Coulson's walkie-talkie: "Coulson! Have him appear in my office within ten minutes!! Immediately!! Right now!!" ===== CHAPTER 100 =====