Chapter 265: A Good Man Can't Withstand Three Bowels of Diarrhea: The Skyborne Defecation Realm

"Forget it, they're pitiful souls!"

The big monk’s gaze fell upon the tomb guardians who continuously roared at them, a flicker of compassion in his eyes.

These tomb guardians had long lost their sanity, trapped by obsessions, reduced to puppets guarding this abyss.

As he stirred his mind, a soft golden light suddenly enveloped him and the young monk.

Then, the two decisively descended.

Some tomb guardians, seeing this, their previously vacant eyes flashed with madness, their roars growing more agonized as they charged down, claws and fangs bared.

Finally, someone could no longer resist their curiosity, summoned a magic treasure, and cautiously followed them down.

When they reached the abyss’s bottom, they found two monks sitting calmly cross-legged, murmuring the Sutra of Rebirth.

The big monk’s expression was serene; the young monk’s face was filled with devotion.

Before them, a group of tomb guardians knelt neatly on the ground, heads bowed, their once twisted and grotesque faces now showing traces of peace.

Seeing this, the observer bowed respectfully and quietly departed.

Soon after, news spread that the two monks were liberating the tomb guardians—some admired them, others dismissed it.

After all, this was a place where Spirit Severing cultivators had perished; who knew how many overconfident fools would come seeking fortune, only to become new tomb guardians?

Zhou Qing pondered silently, then quietly left.

…

Upon returning to the sect, he heard that Cao Zhengyang had emerged from seclusion ahead of schedule—this was great news.

No wonder he could become the Sect Master of Taiqingmen in this generation.

Upon hearing Zhou Qing had returned, Cao Zhengyang immediately came to check on him.

Seeing Zhou Qing unharmed, he repeated several times, “Good! Good! Good!”

Now, the eldest disciple Li Hanshan had successfully advanced to Soul Transformation, Zhou Qing had quietly broken through to the mid-stage, and the sixth disciple Lu Yaoyao was striving toward the late Nascent Soul realm.

The entire sect was thriving, brimming with vitality.

Mo Xingjian, who had relinquished his role as acting Sect Master, could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

These past two years had been a tangle of affairs—countless tasks, daily management of sect matters, mediating all kinds of relationships.

This job was not fit for a human—it was exhausting.

“I still think you must never take the Sect Master position in the future—I’ve learned this lesson deeply these past few months,” Mo Xingjian couldn’t help but urge.

Zhou Qing smiled and nodded. “Master, I have my own plans. Don’t worry.”

Seeing the spark in his disciple’s eyes, Mo Xingjian knew he had his own thoughts—this was good enough.

Back at his quarters, after feeding the old hen, Zhou Qing finally had time to examine Ma Cheng’s storage bag.

Previously, in the southwest of Haomiao Prefecture, various sects had clashed in battle; the Hunyuan Sect suppressed it with thunderous force within just one year.

Afterwards, for reasons unknown, they immediately began war against the Seven Great Sects of the Southern Region.

Until now, to put it plainly, Zhang Wanbao had come to Haomiao Prefecture to open the Zhenbao Pavilion precisely because his father Zhang Yifu had ordered him to exploit the war for profit.

Thus, he had to tread carefully regarding the Hunyuan Sect.

As he opened the storage bag, the first thing to catch his eye was the two-colored array disc.

He wasn’t used to it, and the sect had no immediate use for it either; moreover, it could trigger subsequent troubles.

The Fifth Elder had perished in the Eastern Region, and now Taiqingmen was using this array disc—how could he explain that?

“I’ll have to go to Lingyun Prefecture after all—the Wanxiang Auction House knows exactly how to handle such ‘stolen goods.’”

After figuring this out, Zhou Qing examined further: the storage bag contained stacks of spirit stones of all grades, dazzling to behold, even fifteen supreme-grade spirit stones.

This was an unexpected boon. As for elixirs, magic treasures, and weapons, Zhou Qing inspected each one, selecting what he could use, and bundled the rest to dispose of at a suitable time.

After all, some items didn’t align with his cultivation path, others were of mediocre quality—keeping them served little purpose.

“Master, I’m going to Lingyun Prefecture—I’ll return in a few months!” Zhou Qing found Mo Xingjian and spoke respectfully.

Though he had now broken through to Soul Transformation and his power had greatly increased, Lingyun Prefecture was still far away—even at full speed, a round trip would take four months.

But compared to before his breakthrough, this was already a massive time saving.

“You’ve grown up now, with your own matters to attend to—I won’t interfere. But take this—it was delivered this morning by your Sect Master uncle!”

Mo Xingjian said, pulling from his robe a palm-sized flying vessel and handing it to Zhou Qing.

The flying vessel was exquisitely crafted, shimmering with silver light, its surface etched with dense talismanic inscriptions.

“This is—” Zhou Qing’s eyes lit up as he stared at the miniature boat.

Mo Xingjian smiled and explained: “Thanks to the yin spirit stones you brought back from the third coffin, your Wang uncle on Wànqì Peak successfully reached Soul Transformation’s peak.”

“To show his gratitude, he spent these two years in seclusion, nearly emptying the entire storage depot, and finally crafted this vessel specially for you.”

“Its speed far exceeds ordinary space vessels, and it consumes far less spirit stone to operate—even a round trip to Lingyun Prefecture will take only two months!”

Hearing this, Zhou Qing was thrilled.

This was truly a gift in the snow!

“I’ll go thank Wang uncle right away!” Zhou Qing said, carefully taking the vessel and heading straight for Wànqì Peak.

…

Two days later!

A silver flying vessel sliced through the sky, racing toward Lingyun Prefecture at breakneck speed.

On the deck, Zhou Qing gently stroked the railing, his eyes filled with wonder and affection.

He never imagined Wang uncle of Wànqì Peak possessed such craftsmanship.

Now, he would no longer have to constantly ride his sword, enduring the jolts and bumps.

“Hmm, it’s them!” Soon, Zhou Qing spotted the flying vessel belonging to the Grand Eunuch Gao Xianzhong, hovering over a vast plain.

Around it, numerous Blood Ban Troops stood on guard, alert and wary.

It had been over three months—why hadn’t they left yet?

He’d heard from his master that after leaving Taiqingmen, they’d gone to Cangyan Dao Palace, then visited three other sects, searching everywhere for clues.

But now it seemed clear—they had zero leads on the killer of the Fifth Imperial Prince, Xuan Yuan Fengtai.

Sikong Yan’s handling of the traces was truly clean, meticulous, flawless!

He just couldn’t fathom what the man was thinking—collaborating to ignite a five-sect war, then suddenly turning on and killing his own employer.

Zhou Qing sighed helplessly.

They say a flurry of wild punches can kill a master—someone who acts without pattern, whose thoughts and next moves you can never predict, is the most terrifying.

At that moment, from the deck of that vessel, a figure in brocade robes, pale-faced, holding a black fly whisk, stepped out.

Instantly, their gazes met in midair, then flickered away.

“Is that the Grand Eunuch?” Zhou Qing’s brow furrowed slightly.

This man radiated a sinister aura—no ordinary man could become the Emperor’s favorite minister and oversee the Heavenly Edict Prison.

One should avoid provoking such a person.

Gao Xianzhong’s face was dark, his mood clearly foul.

Gazing at the distant vessel fading into the horizon, he sneered: “The people of the Eastern Region are truly wealthy!”

Zhong Yao and Xiao Ji, who followed him out of the cabin, exchanged awkward glances, unsure how to respond.

“The Emperor gave me only one year—if I still haven’t found the killer by then, don’t blame me for submitting false reports.”

With that, Gao Xianzhong sharply flicked his fly whisk and turned back into the cabin.

Zhong Yao and Xiao Ji exchanged a look, both sighing deeply, utterly helpless.

…

One month later!

Zhou Qing finally stepped once more into the bustling Lingyun Prefecture.

The place remained thronged, vibrant, noisy, teeming with people.

He headed straight for the Wanxiang Auction House, familiar with the route.

Entering the auction hall, he saw rows of exquisitely crafted display stands, each laden with dazzling treasures and rarities, overwhelming the eyes.

Staff members stood nearby, offering detailed explanations to facilitate transactions.

Zhou Qing was intently observing when someone lightly tapped his shoulder.

He turned instinctively—and upon seeing the familiar elderly face, froze slightly.

“Senior Fu—” Zhou Qing quickly bowed.

Fu Kui smiled faintly. “I thought I was seeing things—I didn’t expect it to really be you. When did you arrive in Lingyun Prefecture?”

Zhou Qing replied respectfully: “I just arrived not long ago.”

Fu Kui nodded. “Wanbao has been talking about you often—he was planning to visit the Eastern Region soon to see you.”

Zhou Qing looked at Old Fu, pieced together his words, and asked: “Has Wanbao returned from Haomiao Prefecture?”

Fu Kui said: “He came back half a month ago—he’s currently inside. I’ll go tell him.”

Soon after, Zhang Wanbao burst out, face alight with joy, and rushed forward to give Zhou Qing a hearty embrace.

“Come on, let’s go inside and talk!” Zhang Wanbao, beaming, pulled Zhou Qing inside.

They entered the inner chamber, its decor elegant and grand, steeped in ancient charm.

Zhang Wanbao, full of warmth, quickly picked up the teapot and poured Zhou Qing a steaming cup of spirit tea.

Instantly, the fragrance of tea filled the entire chamber.

Zhou Qing took a sip, smiled, and asked: “Why did you come back suddenly? I thought business was going well there?”

Zhang Wanbao’s expression flickered with resignation. “Business is fine, but after a while, it gets dull.”

Moreover, the southwestern regions of Haomiao Mansion have suddenly made peace for reasons unknown.

“No more war?” Zhou Qing raised an eyebrow slightly, surprised.

Zhang Wanbao nodded heavily, then glanced furtively around and lowered his voice: “I heard the war in the southwest had the imperial family’s shadow behind it.”

“To be precise, it was Prince Xuan Yuan Fengtai secretly pulling the strings—and now he’s dead!”

Upon hearing this, Zhou Qing’s eyes flashed with cold light, his pupils narrowing slightly.

Just as Zhang Wanbao was about to continue, a deliberate cough came from outside—Fu Kui.

Zhang Wanbao froze, chuckled awkwardly, rubbed his nose, and explained: “Anyway, once the fighting stopped, there was no more profit to be had. Plus, you and Yan Da-ge both left the academy, so I figured it was time to pack up and return.”

Zhou Qing glanced subtly toward the outside.

He clearly remembered that at the very start of the Five Sects War, Qingyu Immortal Sect and Jin Leizong had specifically purchased short-range teleportation arrays from the Wanxiang Auction House—and Fu Kui himself had been assigned to escort and install them.

This suspected Zhan Ling cultivator had, out of regard for his friendship with him and Zhang Wanbao, subtly warned Master Bai and the others before leaving.

He had advised them not to let the war end too soon—try to prolong it.

Now it seemed clear they knew some hidden truth, but for various reasons, could not speak it outright.

Zhou Qing nodded slightly and said: “I’ve heard about the fifth prince. Months ago, a senior eunuch named Gao Xianzhong arrived at Taiqingmen with the prefect and mansion lord, staying for some time.”

Zhang Wanbao’s eyes lit up instantly, eager: “I heard that too—but I never saw him.”

“You must be extra careful. I heard this man is extremely ruthless, has made many enemies in court, yet still holds his high position—he must have exceptional abilities.”

Zhou Qing took another sip of tea, signaling he understood.

After all, the fifth prince’s affair had nothing to do with them—no need to worry.

“My fat old man set out this morning, personally heading to the eastern region. After all, he and Uncle Xiao aren’t just longtime close friends—the two families are about to become in-laws.”

“I heard that damn eunuch dumped the entire manhunt onto them. Uncle Xiao had no choice but to ask my old man for help.”

“I wonder if the things my old man brought will even be useful—this whole business is such a headache.”

Zhang Wanbao chattered on.

Zhou Qing’s heart stirred—he wanted to ask more, but seeing Fu Kui waiting outside, he held his tongue.

Besides, asking too much might raise suspicion.

Zhou Qing merely nodded and said: “I came today to purchase some top-grade wood-element spirit stones. Do you have…?”

Zhang Wanbao frowned in confusion: “Big Brother Zhou, why do you always need so many wood-element spirit stones?”

Zhou Qing’s expression remained calm: “To cultivate a certain technique—it demands enormous wood-element spiritual energy.”

Zhang Wanbao nodded in understanding: “Ah, I see. Your technique must be incredibly resource-intensive.”

“Top-grade spirit stones of the five elements are already rare, especially wood-element stones brimming with vital energy—they’re nearly impossible to find, and in high demand.”

“Still ten? Fine, let me check the warehouse stock first!”

Zhang Wanbao called someone over, whispered a few instructions, and the man hurried off.

Zhou Qing, filled with gratitude, then pulled out a storage bag, his expression slightly uneasy: “I also have some other items to trade—but… these aren’t exactly legitimate.”

Zhang Wanbao instantly understood, slapped his chest: “Don’t worry, Big Brother Zhou—I’ll make sure they vanish completely, leaving not a trace.”

They then began chatting about Xiao Cancan and Li Shitao, since both were daughters of the Xiao mansion lord.

Xiao Ji had been gone half a year now, with not a single clue—both girls were deeply worried.

Zhou Qing could offer no real help, only reassurance that everything would be fine.

Not long after, the man sent to the warehouse returned, whispering something into Zhang Wanbao’s ear.

Zhang Wanbao’s expression changed slightly, showing a hint of difficulty.

He looked at Zhou Qing apologetically: “Big Brother Zhou, I’m sorry—the warehouse only has five top-grade wood-element spirit stones left. I don’t know how many you need.”

Zhou Qing’s eyes lit up: Coincidence?

“Five is more than enough! You might not believe it, but I’m exactly five short!” Zhou Qing said happily.

Zhang Wanbao relaxed, his face brightening again: “Good! Big Brother Zhou, as long as I can help, that’s all that matters.”

He then took Zhou Qing’s storage bag and handed it to Fu Lao outside. Soon, the valuation came back.

After deducting the five wood-element spirit stones, there remained thirteen extra top-grade spirit stones.

The most valuable item was still the two-colored array disc.

Zhou Qing was delighted—but after a brief pause, he did not take the money. Instead, he said: “Wanbao, to be honest, based on the progression of my technique, I’ll need even more wood-element spirit stones later.”

“These extra stones—I’ll treat them as a deposit. Please keep an eye out for more. Whatever you find, I’ll take it all.”

Zhou Qing’s expression was serious.

He also handed Zhang Wanbao the top-grade spirit stones he’d taken from Ma Cheng’s storage bag, as well as those from the two level-one arrays he’d traded.

Not to mention, merely understanding a single thread of the inscription-level divine art required ten wood-element spirit stones as fuel.

And the full completion of the Three Thousand Phoenix Script demanded a staggering number—exactly thirty thousand top-grade wood-element spirit stones.

Converted to ordinary top-grade spirit stones, that amounted to a staggering three hundred thousand.

Worse still, top-grade wood-element spirit stones were already scarce, and in the market, they were simply unobtainable at any price.

Moreover, the array seals left by Master Xuan Qing also demanded enormous quantities.

Thinking of this astronomical number, Zhou Qing felt a bitter pang—even with his extraordinary composure, he now felt pressure like a mountain.

And if even his shortcut, coveted by countless cultivators, was this difficult, how much harder must it be for those who followed the normal, painstaking path?

Zhang Wanbao nodded vigorously, his fat chest thumping loudly.

He swore earnestly: “Big Brother Zhou, don’t worry! I’ll take care of it—I’ll immediately mobilize Wanxiang Auction House’s spies across the land to search for wood-element spirit stones for you.”

Zhou Qing was deeply moved, placing a hand on Zhang Wanbao’s shoulder: “Wanbao, thank you truly. I, Zhou Qing, will remember this favor.”

“If you ever need anything, just say the word—I’ll give you my all.”

Zhang Wanbao laughed heartily: “Big Brother Zhou, what are you talking about? Between brothers, no need for thanks.”

“If I hadn’t met you and Yan Da-ge back then, I’d probably still be eating and waiting to die. Now I can help you—I’m glad.”

“Besides, my eyes aren’t bad—I’ve always felt you’re destined for greatness. As my old man says, this is an investment.”

Zhou Qing burst into laughter.

…

In the afternoon, Xiao Cancan and Li Shitao arrived hurriedly upon hearing the news. After brief pleasantries, they eagerly asked about the eastern region.

Zhou Qing only said Xiao Mansion Lord was fine—no need to worry.

After all, if the sky fell, the tall ones would hold it up. The fifth prince’s death had no direct bearing on Xiao Mansion Lord.

They finally relaxed. They’d wanted to go to the eastern region themselves, but Xiao Ji had issued a strict order forbidding them—so they could only reluctantly give up.

After two days of preparations, all arranged, Zhou Qing set off on his return journey.

On the flying vessel, after re-embedding the ten wood-element spirit stones into the spirit array within the potted plant, the Wudao Ancient Tea Tree once again began slowly exuding its ethereal aura.

At first, it was faint. Zhou Qing did not rush to absorb it, but carefully stored it away.

Ten days later, while soaring high above, Zhou Qing suddenly caught a faint, elusive stench in his nostrils.

As the flying vessel continued, the stench grew stronger—like rotting meat mixed with all kinds of excrement, nearly making him vomit.

He frowned tightly, slowed the vessel, and unleashed his vast spiritual sense to trace the source.

He was currently ten thousand meters above the clouds—ordinary filth could never reach such heights.

“Trying to kill me and steal my stuff? Wherever I go, there are always these stupid fools who don’t know their own death. I’m the future Shit Heavenly Emperor—you’ve just kicked a steel plate!”

Soon, fierce battle sounds came from ahead, accompanied by a familiar voice.

Zhou Qing froze, utterly stunned—had he misheard? “Shit Heavenly Emperor? Could it really be…?”

Without hesitation, he accelerated the flying vessel toward the sound.

Sure enough, ahead, two flying vessels—one yellow, one black—hung in midair.

Nearby, five black-robed cultivators at the late Nascent Soul stage surrounded a young man.

Both sides were clashing with different realms of intent. Though outnumbered five to one, the young man was tormenting them with his revolting “shit realm,” making them curse loudly.

“How did he suddenly show up in Lingyun Mansion? Didn’t Shen Hanyi say she locked him in the dark room?”

The five black-robed cultivators also sensed an outsider’s arrival. One shouted: “Friend, this has nothing to do with you. Don’t meddle. Leave now, or you’ll lose your life!”

As he shouted, he secretly signaled his companions.

The five widened their formation, intensifying their attacks. Spiritual power surged violently, each clash exploding with deafening thunder.

The powerful spiritual waves rippled outward, churning the surrounding clouds.

The surrounded young man looked up at Zhou Qing, his eyes flickering with caution.

Then, as if making a decision, he spoke directly: “Friend, if you don’t help them, I’ll reward you with ten top-grade spirit stones afterward.”

“These bastards attacked me for no reason. If you get involved, they’ll target you too. Don’t risk trouble over something that doesn’t concern you.”

As he spoke, the yellow sky behind him expanded violently, swirling with filth and emitting suffocating stench.

As he formed hand seals, he pointed fiercely at one of the black-robed cultivators, his face twisted into near madness.

He roared: “No hero can withstand three bouts of diarrhea! Shit Realm: Heavenly Excretion!”

(End of Chapter)