Chapter 118: Thousand-Catty Sobriety Pill

There was once a story circulating among the folk, saying that at Mount Taihang there lived a dissolute, unrestrained Daoist in ragged clothes who acted without convention.

The Daoist loved liquor, could drink for long without getting drunk, each time consuming several dou or more, and never tired of it; drinking with guests, he would go through jar after jar, still able to chat and laugh with everyone without his face turning red.

Everyone at the feast was astonished, thinking this ragged Daoist was a divine being, mastering the art of transport; the liquor he drank was moved elsewhere by his magic, making his belly like a bottomless pit, so no matter how much he drank, he could consume a thousand cups without getting drunk.

This is a story from wild histories circulating among the people; I don't know whether the ragged Daoist in the tale truly mastered the art of transport, but I have seen similar cases. Moreover, we followers of the Fa teaching often use medicinal methods to increase our drinking capacity, achieving a thousand cups without drunkenness.

What is the medicinal method? Simply put, it is a prescription, and this prescription has a name: Thousand-Catty Sobriety. If one drinks a bowl of Chinese medicine beforehand, or takes a pill refined by this method, even someone who cannot hold liquor can become a heavy drinker capable of a thousand cups without getting drunk.

On the market, many hangover remedies also bear the shadow of this prescription.

The Thousand-Catty Sobriety Pills in our luggage were prepared in advance by QingSongShu. He feared that I and Pangzi would not handle social engagements well while traveling, so he refined these pills for us.

These pills are normally taken before drinking; as for whether they work after one is already drunk, I have never tested it, so I could only adopt a try-it-out attitude and stuffed one into Pangzi's mouth.

I thought Pangzi would obediently swallow the pill, but when I shoved it into his mouth I realized his mischievousness.

I stuffed the pill into his mouth, but after a moment I saw no reaction. I felt vexed, curiously stretched my head forward, furrowed my brows to look at his face. In an instant, Pangzi opened his mouth and with a whoosh spat the pill out.

I was facing him, our heads level. He spat so forcefully that the pill shot straight up and plunged directly into my throat.

When I realized what had happened, the pill was already lodged in my throat, making me jump up and down, pound my chest and gag; after nearly five minutes of desperate effort, choking to tears, I finally managed to dislodge the pill from my throat.

After spitting out the pill, I hurriedly squatted in a corner, spitting out saliva, damn it, this is disgusting—I had unknowingly swallowed Pangzi's saliva.

I admit that even after a long time, a strange indescribable taste still lingered in my throat; I couldn't tell whether it was Pangzi's saliva or the pill's flavor, but it was unbearable.

At that moment I wanted to kick the Pangzi on the bed to death, but… the matter was important; for the sake of the bigger picture I could only suppress the urge to beat him severely, took another pill from the bottle and shoved it into his mouth.

Having learned from the previous incident, this time I became thoroughly clever: after stuffing the pill in, I immediately retreated several steps, crouched to the side and secretly watched Pangzi; after a minute, seeing no reaction, I assumed he had swallowed the pill, relaxed, and rose leisurely.

Suddenly, with a puff, Pangzi pursed his lips and a dark, glossy object was spat out from his mouth again.

At that moment I opened my mouth wide, face full of disbelief—damn, being able to spit it out like this is just too bizarre.

At the same time as being astonished, I realized I had again committed a fatal mistake—I… had opened my mouth wide.

With a whoosh, the pill traced a splendid arc in the air, flying from the head of the bed to where I stood, slipping once more into my throat, and… I inadvertently swallowed a mouthful of saliva, sending the pill down.

I… after all my calculations, I still ended up swallowing Pangzi's old man's saliva. At this moment, 'wanting to cry but having no tears' cannot describe how miserable I feel.

……………………

Third time, I forcibly suppressed the urge to chop Pangzi into pieces, carefully poured out a pill from the bottle and shoved it into his mouth.

After the pill went in, I immediately sprang away like a rabbit, jumping three meters.

Just kidding—after the lessons of the first two times, am I still not learning like an elf? Do you really think I'm an idiot?

With a gurgle, Pangzi's throat convulsed; unexpectedly, the pill was not spat out again but was swallowed whole by him.

Just as I was surprised that Pangzi was this obedient, I suddenly felt a urge to urinate in my lower abdomen and hurriedly ran to the toilet.

On my way back from the toilet, I saw Pangzi stumble out of the room with sleepy eyes, heading straight for the toilet as soon as he emerged.

The two of us went back and forth to the toilet repeatedly and rhythmically; after urinating several times, I finally realized a problem… it turns out the Thousand-Catty Sobriety Pill works just like a sober-up pill, expelling alcohol through urination.

"Ah… speaking of which, why am I so energetic?" After several trips to the toilet, Pangzi stretched on the bed, his expression extremely lewd and begging for a beating.

Not to mention Pangzi's vigor, even I now feel as if my whole body has been washed by hot springs, brimming with inexhaustible energy, radiant and refreshed, my spirits multiplied a hundredfold.

Thousand-Catty Sobriety—true to its name!

Just as I was sighing over the effect of the Thousand-Catty Sobriety Pill, the naturally clueless Pangzi came out with another sentence that would get someone killed without compensation.

"Hey, since we're this energetic, let's go find Wei Xiong and drink again."

"Cut it out, let's talk seriously—I just gave you a Thousand-Catty Sobriety Pill." I slapped Pangzi on the back of the head and grabbed him firmly.

Pangzi looked at me doubtfully: "Why are you making me take this stuff? We drink to have fun; aren't you forcing me to cheat? You've got no drinking etiquette at all."

I……

Fine, considering your youthful ignorance, I endure, I continue to endure.

"Do you know what I saw on Wei Xiong just now?"… Suppressing the urge to beat Pangzi to a pulp, I slowly recounted what I had seen on Wei Xiong—the Mount Prison Crimson Mark and the Faquiu Seal.

Fortunately Pangzi isn't stupid; he quickly sorted out the whole context.

"You mean Wei Xiong is going to follow his uncle to rob a tomb soon?"

After I nodded, Pangzi immediately prepared to rush out of the living room.

"What are you doing?" I grabbed him.

Pangzi said matter-of-factly: "Of course I'm going to stop Wei Xiong; tomb‑robbing is risky, making a fortune this way is out of the question."

I gave him a sideways glance: "You think Wei Xiong will listen to us?"

Pangzi paused, then scratched his head: "Also true, he definitely won't listen to us."

As brothers, we naturally understand each other's characters. Among the three, Wei Xiong is the most righteous and most responsible. But he also has a flaw: he is stubborn. Once he decides on something, not even nine oxen could pull him back.

Moreover, from his fragmentary remarks it's not hard to deduce that accompanying him on tomb‑robbing are also his paternal uncle. The Faquiu lineage and the Mountain‑Moving, Ridge‑Lifting, Gold‑Finding sect differ from the other three sects in that they usually go tomb‑robbing with kin. One could say the Faquiu is the sect that places the greatest emphasis on family ties among the four.

Since it's his own uncle, there's no reason not to trust him. Besides, Wei Xiong's notion of improving his family's material life isn't something that changes overnight. Therefore, trying to alter his decision to rob tombs is undoubtedly doubly difficult.

"Then what should we do? We can't just watch Wei Xiong go to his death, right? You know, that 'Mount Prison Crimson Mark' that forms later isn't a joke—last year we saw people whose faces acquired that postnatal pattern, and without exception they died violently in daylight." Pangzi slumped his head and sighed involuntarily: "Forget it, I'll first cast a hexagram with Plum Blossom Divination."

Having said that, Pangzi pinched his fingers to calculate and cast a hexagram in his hand.

Although Pangzi's Plum Blossom Divination is notorious for 'killing fathers without tasting fate', the last time he predicted a water ghost in the countryside it was remarkably accurate; thinking of this, my already despondent heart rekindled hope.

I watched Pangzi nervously, hoping his hexagram would turn from extreme adversity to prosperity; yet the longer it took, the colder my heart grew. Because during the divination his expression kept shifting inexplicably, from listless to pallid, and finally his face turned a deathly white.

"Gen mountain traps Ren water, unable to exit, water dies and ceases; upper Gen is a mound, lower Gen is the yin‑yang point; in the changing hexagram, Zhen wood becomes a coffin, Gen hexagram is a graveyard…" Pangzi stared blankly and murmured: "Long ago, the Qianlong Emperor sent Tu Qinbao to surround and suppress a Salar rebellion. Tu Qinbao was trapped in the mountains and ultimately died besieged. … That year, Tu Qinbao met an old man who divined the same hexagram—Gen mountain traps water, water dies and ceases… Wei Xiong, too, is a Ren‑water destiny person."

Having finished the divination, the hexagram was clear at a glance, and my mood grew even heavier.

"Is there any way to avert this?" I looked at Pangzi full of anticipation, hoping this deadlock could be resolved.

"There is…" Pangzi nodded heavily.

My dead‑heart sparked hope again, I looked at Pangzi full of expectation: 'What?'

"Just keep Wei Xiong from going; let him stay at home." Pangzi grinned, showing his white teeth.

What greeted him was my merciless flick to the forehead; at this moment my veins bulged, I could no longer tolerate his wild, unfounded thinking, and I struck out hard, giving him a merciless beating.

"All right, all right, speaking seriously, I know Wei Xiong won't listen to us, huh? We still have two middle-and-lower strategies, right?" Pangzi, while clutching his head and scrambling about, explained innocently.

"Hurry up and speak, don't damn waste my time, Wei Xiong is leaving tomorrow."

"Ren Water trapped within Gen Mountain, in the end the water dies out, unable to flow out to the sea, but if at this time there is Geng Metal assisting, the situation can be said to be completely different." Pangzi said solemnly.

"How so?" My eyes lit up, I stared fixedly at Pangzi and said.

Pangzi immediately answered without hesitation: "Gen Mountain belongs to earth, while Wei Xiong is the Ren Water in the hexagram; Ren Water trapped within the mountain's momentum is in a weak position. If at this time there is Geng Metal assisting, borrowing the metal-producing-water momentum, then it becomes unstoppable. Although water is soft, when water becomes strong against the mountain, it can also turn into a flood that washes the mountain away." He paused, then Pangzi continued: "Even if the water's force is not stronger than the mountain, we can still use the sharpness of Geng Metal to split open a part of Gen Mountain; then Ren Water will have an outlet to flow out, thus turning a desperate situation into a chance for survival."

"You mean, let us give a weapon to Wei Xiong so he can take it grave-robbing?" My eyes lit up, I couldn't help but let my imagination run wild.

Pangzi immediately nodded, but then immediately shook his head: "This plan is an inferior one; it can only bring a single chance of survival. If we want to increase our odds, we still have to… borrow luck." The last two words, Pangzi's tone grew heavier, pronounced with emphasis.

"All right… let us now check our eight characters to see if we are in a year of prosperous luck." I answered without hesitation.