Chapter 12: Feigning Corpse and a Kiss

"This time I'm dead……" I shut my eyes tight, my heart pounding nonstop, I even imagined these relatives furious, tearing me to pieces.

But after a long while, the imagined thing didn't happen. I opened my eyes and saw that the people in the room weren't looking at me; they were tightly surrounding Zhang Lao Tai on the straw mat.

"You brat, what are you doing here? Hurry up and leave." The wrinkled‑faced priest glanced at me, frowned, and said.

I hurriedly stepped aside, not daring to speak again.

"Everyone guard the house; if you see a cat come in, chase it away immediately, absolutely do not let a cat approach the old lady's corpse." After shouting at me, the priest solemnly ordered the crowd.

Only then did I notice something strange. Listening quietly, it seemed there were some odd sounds outside the house, like a cat's meow mixed with a baby's cry.

At first the cat's cry was faint, then gradually the meows grew louder, coming from all directions, making it impossible to tell where they came from; in the pitch‑black night, the cat's voice chilled everyone's heart. I don't know how grating my laugh was when I was newborn, but I think nothing could be as eerie as tonight's cat cries.

Only now did I understand why the priest was so cautious: the reason was simply that Zhang Lao Tai's corpse had attracted a swarm of cats.

In feng shui, cats belong to western yin metal; folk tradition also calls them nine‑life cats, extremely yin and cold creatures.

If someone dies in a village, without being summoned, a swarm of cats will come rushing in.

If a cat accidentally touches a corpse, the body will change; severely, it may become a fake corpse. Especially for those who died with resentment, whose grudge cannot be swallowed, a cat must not be allowed near. Once a cat nears, the corpse turns into a walking corpse. Even after the grudge is dispelled, people will choose cremation over burial, because a corpse that has been in contact with a cat will bring misfortune to descendants even if buried.

I had heard these legends more than once from the old folks, but I never imagined I would actually encounter such a thing.

Moreover, these cats… surely there are too many of them. Although I haven't seen any cats appear, just from the eerie green light outside the door I can imagine that the number of cats outside the house is more than I could count on my fingers and toes.

I don't know when it started, but pairs of oily green eyes suddenly appeared in the dark night, emitting an eerie cold glow, fixed on the house, countless and dense.

Gradually the cat cries drew nearer; lone wild cats emerged from the darkness, approaching the house in groups to probe.

Seeing this bizarre scene, even though I knew I had the Five Ghosts Protective Body, I couldn't help but shiver and shrink back.

The priest, seeing so many cats, also sucked in a breath of cold air. Afterwards he seemed to sense something wrong and began counting on his fingers.

"Oh no, how careless of me—I didn't realize today is the day of Si‑Hai clash, when yin energy is at its peak…"

The priest regretfully slapped his forehead; from his words it seemed that choosing the wrong date for tonight's funeral had caused the swarm of cats to rush in.

I pursed my lips and thought: "Instead of wasting time regretting, we should figure out how to handle this; when the cats charge in, I'll see how you cry."

Who would have thought I hadn't even finished thinking when the priest shouted at the person beside him: "Mi Lai!"

A young man beside him, wearing the same clothes, respectfully handed a bowl of rice to the priest.

After receiving the rice, the priest also took three lit red incense sticks, stomped his feet a few times, closed his eyes, and gestured with both hands over the bowl of rice.

Next, the priest shouted the word "Enjoin!" and, shaking his hand, flung the bowl of rice toward the doorway.

The approaching cats scattered with a hiss, seeming to fear the rice; some cats hit by the grains writhed on the ground as if burned, crying out in pain.

Seeing this, I gaped: what kind of rice does the priest hold, that it has such power?

What surprised me even more was that these cats all retreated, not daring to step near any spot with rice—even if only one or two grains lay on the ground. They treated the area as a forbidden zone, not daring to touch it; instead they crouched outside the rice circle, fur bristling, teeth bared, glaring at the priest, yet never daring to advance a step.

After that, things became much simpler. Those with brooms swept; those without grabbed chairs and tables from home—anyway, they tried every means to drive the cats gathered at the door away.

After a chaotic scramble, once the grating meows faded and the cats vanished, everyone finally breathed a sigh of relief and returned inside.

Their return meant I was doomed to fail tonight; that white cloth would absolutely not be obtainable.

Just as I was thinking how to sneak out, an aunt's words in the room made my heart tighten.

"Huh, whose child is this? He looks so unfamiliar—look at his eyes, why are they white?" The aunt pointed at my left eye and said that, drawing everyone's gaze to me.

"This time it's awful……" My heart gave a thump, a bitter smile rose, and I thought: "Master, master, your disciple has been ruined by you; if the disciple gets beaten up, remember to burn extra incense on Qingming and Chongyang."

I closed my eyes, waiting for the relatives' impending anger.

Just then, an unexpected thing happened again. A barely audible cat cry sounded inside the house, once again tightening everyone's nerves and shifting their attention.

"Oh no, that's my family's cat." An old man exclaimed.

"Day and night we guard against thieves, yet the domestic cat is hard to stop—if this kitten is caught by the old lady, she'll beat it to death." Another aunt added, continuing the old man's words.

"What's the point of all this talk? Quickly find that cat." The priest's face changed and he shouted.

So everyone again scrambled to locate the source of the cat's cry; I hunched over, pretending to help them look for the cat, but I tried to move my steps backward as quietly as possible.

Who would have thought the priest's body would block me from behind; he was also searching for the cat, but he just happened to obstruct the space I was trying to move into.

With a wry smile, I could only continue crouching, wandering aimlessly in search.

Suddenly I saw beneath the table what seemed to be a glimmer, a faint green light.

Just as I saw those eyes, a whoosh—a slender figure darted past me and raced toward Zhang Lao Tai lying on the straw mat.

"Quick, grab that cat!" the priest shouted behind me, but he was a step too late. After the cat darted past my side, in less than a breath it stepped on the corpse's face and fled swiftly; the white cloth covering the corpse's head was also knocked to the ground by the cat's claws.

As the white cloth fell away, Zhang Lao Tai's face changed in a breath—from black to blue, then to purple. It sagged like a deflating balloon, more spectacular than any magic trick.

"Get out of the way……" the priest behind me changed expression and waved his hand urgently at the person standing beside Zhang Lao Tai.

Standing beside Zhang Lao Tai was a handsome young man, with fair skin and a high, straight nose bridge.

Although the young man heard the priest's words, he just stood there blankly, not reacting.

Then something happened that left everyone's minds reeling.

After the black cat stepped over it, Zhang Lao Tai's corpse jerked upright at a ninety‑degree angle, facing the young man, and with a bang their faces pressed together, lips meeting.

The sight was so shocking it nearly made jaws drop.

What's more, instead of fear, some burst out laughing with a puff.

Until the priest roared: "Quickly separate them, don't let the corpse suck away the person's vital energy!"

The stunned crowd then hurried forward to pry apart the person and corpse locked in that kiss.

The old man who had just spoken fell to his knees, wailing: "Mother, my son has ruined your twilight years; I am guilty."

I… no matter how I look at it, it seems Zhang Lao Tai got the better deal—after all, that young man is youthful, tall, and quite handsome.

Before I could think further, taking advantage of their confusion, I swiftly snatched the white cloth from the ground, stuffed it into my bosom, and slipped out quietly.

Out the door I ran hard for a bit; when I had gone far enough and looked back, I saw that young man crouching at the doorway, desperately clutching his throat.

"Older brother…… I can only silently mourn for you."