Chapter 187

Fatty, the area behind the mountain, the small pond behind the mountain. Not include.

However, no matter how well he hides, what can he do? I had already tampered with the soul‑drawing incense long ago. If he doesn't show up, that's fine; but once he appears, no matter how he runs, he can't escape my keen nose.

"Come out, how long do you plan to stay up there?" I ran to the base of an old pagoda tree nearby and looked up at it with interest.

Although I couldn't see the dwarf's shadow on the pagoda tree, it's utterly astonishing that an old pagoda tree would actually emit the fragrance of sandalwood.

So there's no need to guess—the dwarf ghost is definitely hiding in this pagoda tree; however, this kind of spirit is extremely skilled at concealment, so even a Daoist who has opened his spiritual eyes might not be able to locate him with certainty.

"Come out, or I'll piss on you!" I said while preparing to undo my belt.

In an instant, a shadow flickered on the withered old trunk, and shortly thereafter it shot toward…… Pangzi at lightning speed.

"Ow, it burns me to death, it burns me to death! So painful, so painful."

The next moment, the dwarf lay on the ground rolling continuously, shouting in pain while blowing cold air hard into his mouth.

In the blink of an eye, it happened so fast one could hardly react: first the dwarf was startled by me and jumped down from the tree, then he lunged onto Pangzi's shoulder.

Coal (maybe a typo?), three fires (generic).

But this dwarf ghost seems to have picked the wrong target! Never mind that Pangzi's yearly fortune isn't weak; moreover, his other identity is that of a Daoist who practices the domineering pure‑yang Huaguang method of the meridians. If you claim that someone who cultivates Huaguang lacks strong yang energy, I doubt any meridian practitioner would have strong yang.

Thus, the moment the dwarf touched Pangzi's shoulder, the three flames on Pangzi's body instantly burned him, making him scream and fall to the ground, blowing hard.

Vajra Circle

"Great immortals, spare my life, spare my life! I merely heard the gong on the stage and couldn't help running back home; I didn't mean to offend you immortals. Please spare my life, spare my life!" The dwarf kowtowed desperately to me and Pangzi.

If one asks why the dwarf's attitude changed so suddenly…

Because… Pangzi has already taken out his Daoist robe from his bag. Even if the dwarf were dense, he should have guessed our identities.

"I ask you… why did you run under the stage to suck people's wealth qi? And isn't there a rule among you netherworld beings that during a performance you must not move the actors on stage? Why did you go up onto that stage to cause trouble and even wound the troupe's brothers?" I pointed at the dwarf, who kept kowtowing on the ground, and rebuked him.

"Wronged, immortal! I was merely hiding in the cellar of Old Wang's house. This morning I was driven mad by that fragrance, so I secretly revealed myself to inhale a few breaths; only when I heard the gongs and drums of tonight's performance did I sneak out again. Heaven and earth as my witness, I only absorb wealth qi—I haven't even stepped on an ant—how could I be involved in harming people?" The dwarf ghost kept kowtowing, begging for mercy.

Pangzi and I exchanged doubtful glances; if the dwarf ghost's account is true, then he was merely drawn out this morning and has nothing to do with the stage‑injury incidents of the past few days.

Hall of Yanluo

The dwarf ghost's face turned bitter as he spoke in a mournful tone: "Reporting to the two immortals, if one could enter the six paths of reincarnation and gain a chance to be reborn as a human, I would hardly be lingering in Yangjian as a lonely, homeless wild ghost. Indeed, I have unavoidable difficulties; I cannot leave the foundation of Old Wang's house. If no one comes to rescue me, I will forever wander his ancestral grounds, a lonely, unsupported wandering ghost."

When the dwarf ghost reached the moving part of his story, tears streamed down his face.

Guan Gong

Although I too was curious and doubtful, Pangzi's posture really disgusted me. What I didn't expect was that the dwarf ghost would clasp his hands together and, very cooperatively, bow to Pangzi, saying: "Reporting to the Great Lord of the Clear Heavens, I originally lived by the river of Hu Village… my home had a house and fields."

Under my stunned gaze, the two of them actually started performing a comic crosstalk right there… Holy shit, do we have to be this enthralling.

"In the morning I go out to herd cattle and till the fields; at night I return home under the stars. Who would have thought my fate would be so bad? At the third watch I lit a lamp to go to the privy, a gust of yin wind blew it out, I slipped and fell into the cesspool… into the cesspool." The dwarf ghost sang while his legs tapped back and forth, retreating several steps.

Carpenter Xu (maybe a person's name? It's a surname Xu plus occupation carpenter; could be a nickname; it's a descriptor, not a proper name; likely exclude).

When the dwarf ghost got into the rhythm of his song, he couldn't stop. I was completely bewildered, having no idea what he was saying.

Pangzi seemed to enjoy it, nodding along as he listened to the dwarf ghost's lament.

"Immortal… I've finished speaking!" the dwarf ghost continued singing for a long stretch before timidly approaching Pangzi's side.

"Mm," Pangzi closed his eyes to meditate, nodding slightly, as if he already understood it in his heart.

"Hey, you understood but I didn't—could you translate for me?" I lightly poked Pangzi.

"Huh?" Pangzi turned his head in surprise, scratching the back of his head and saying, "I thought you understood and were preparing to have me translate for you."

Me… can't you stop showing off? Not understanding, what's the point of your flirtatiousness?

none.

"What? Brother, could you repeat that, preferably concise and easy to grasp at once?" After a moment, Pangzi stepped forward, his face flushed with embarrassment, looking rather awkward.

none.

Although I can't see his expression clearly, I imagine his face must be like mine—black lines all over his head, and surely he feels an urge to kick Pangzi to death.

The dwarf ghost stepped back several times, taking a deep breath. I guessed he was calming his emotions. Not long after, he said this to Pangzi:

"Oh, in life I fell into the cesspool and died from the fall; after death I can't leave that stage!"

none.

"Mm, not bad—concise and to the point, with some merit. But it's just skin and bones, not substantial enough; if it were fuller, the effect would surely be excellent." Pangzi closed his eyes, putting on an airs of pretentiousness.

none.

"Get lost, you motherfuckers—both of you speak proper human language to me, no, wait: one should speak proper human language, the other should speak seriously as a ghost, and stop dragging me into all that nonsense."

Oppression, naked oppression—being with this coward makes me suspect that sooner or later I'll either suffer a split personality or be utterly broken by him.

Under my earth‑shaking roar, Pangzi finally forced a laugh and straightened his expression, while the dwarf ghost began earnestly recounting his past.

The dwarf ghost's surname was Hu, his given name a single Ren. In life he was only about that tall; on a pitch‑black, windy night when one couldn't see five fingers ahead, Hu Ren went to the privy carrying a lantern. After a series of crackling sounds of relief, he pulled up his pants and walked out of the privy.

When he reached the village's rear cesspool, a gust of yin wind blew out the lantern he was holding; immediately Hu Ren stepped into empty air, fell into the cesspool and drowned, becoming the first vengeful ghost of Hu Village to die after falling into the privy. He was only twenty‑three when he died—truly a case of "heaven envies talent, the gifted die young."

At this point, Hu Ren went on to mention another matter that marked a turning point in his afterlife.

Stage (generic), big household (generic), lecherous ghost (generic), stingy wealthy master (generic).

Wang the Wealthy Master (maybe treat as title? Could be considered a person's epithet; but it's descriptive. Might exclude. However later they give name. Might include as "Wang the Wealthy Master"? But it's not a proper noun; it's a description. I'd exclude.)

Wang Weixiang

Wang Weiqiang

Pangzi；……………….